Self Insert as Spider-Man MCU

Maria had her head in her hands as she stared at the harassment report on her desk and copies of the contracts their potentially valuable new asset had signed without consulting her. That hadn't really been a requirement for the new girl; but, it would have been nice if someone had told Maria that Ben would snatch She-Hulk... no, Power Woman... right out from under her nose.

She did her best to not glare at the smug look on Ben's face. He had already explained that the contracts did not exclude Power Woman or Jennifer Walters from becoming a SHIELD agent. What he didn't realize was that it would cause a conflict of interest, especially if she was working for him and them at the same time. How do you keep information about one job separate from the knowledge of the other?

“Agent Parker, tell me why I shouldn't fire you right now.” Maria said with a flat voice.

The smug look disappeared from Ben's face. “I could tell you a bunch of reasons.” He said and briefly glanced at Power Woman before he spoke. “I only need to remind you of one. I can get to, and kill, anyone on the planet.”

“Ben!” Power Woman gasped. “You can't threaten...”

Ben held a hand up to stop her rant. “I'm a special agent with a license to kill. Anyone they point me at, will be dealt with in an appropriate and timely manner.”

Power Woman gave him a searching look. “You make it sound like you're the only one that can do that.”

“I'm not. I just have a high success rate and I'm just starting out. I also have access to technology patents that will blow your mind.” Ben said to her and looked at Jubadi. “I also have important powerful friends that can be called upon in a crisis.” He looked back at Power Woman and pointed at the contracts. “Now you do, too.”

Power Woman's eyes went to the copies and she started to realize what he meant. The African warrior looked formidable and the armor she wore protected everything except her head. The retractable spear and shield bracelets were a nice touch, too.

“We can also be called for help.” Ben said and lightly touched her large green hand. “The Wakandan Ambassador highly values those that help him in his times of need.”

Maria watched the byplay and held in her sigh at Ben so freely accepting a woman he just met. She had hoped her liaison with Ben would have opened her up to his machinations... and then she realized she had blocked herself off by telling him to stay home after their last interaction in the server room. She had completely missed his entire weekend's antics, including his brief sojourn to California and him forming yet another exclusive business deal with Pym Technologies.

She admitted to herself that she had made the same mistake that Black Widow made by pushing Ben away when he didn't conform to her expectations. If she had just accepted the situation between them instead of trying to manipulate him into both being alone and to get a sample of his DNA, she would have been right there during his escapades.

Maria wouldn't have changed anything, she just would have known about it and planned accordingly. As it was, both she and Nick Fury were playing catch-up to the news that had already broadcast a potential technology conglomerate that was emerging from three supposedly separate branches of science and technology.

When the story of Stark Industries, Parker Incorporated, and Pym Technologies had been aired on the early morning news, the reputation of all three companies rose into the stratosphere. Everyone speculated on what they were going to be working on and what kind of new gadget or surprise would be released soon. Then Parker Incorporated released their new Virtual Tour program.

It completely sold out in ten minutes across the entire country.

Because it was only a demo project, or so the information claimed, it only had three New York landmark tours included with the base program. That wasn't what made the program so desirable, however. It was the fact that the rest of New York's landmarks, including Central Park, would soon be released and made available for free with proof of purchase of the base program. That had everyone scrambling for the fantastic deal.

Of course, someone leaked online that France and Italy were going to be in the next expansion and pre-orders for both the re-released base program and the expansion were through the roof. If Ben hadn't already been rich from the patent sharing and the Stark collaboration, his own company's product would have easily done it by itself.

Maria pushed those thoughts aside and looked at the two people in front of her desk. One was a 5 foot 8 inch tall young man that was apparently 14 years old and still in high school while the other one was a 7 foot tall green skinned muscular woman that was 26 years old. In her mind, she could easily handle two younger people. In reality, she didn't think any of her normal tricks and tactics were going to work.

Maria took a breath and let it out. “According to this report, you're suspended for two weeks. That's two weeks that an agent of SHIELD will be unavailable to work.” She said and gave him a pointed look. “How exactly does this make you a valuable asset?”

“I'm officially not on the books for the next two weeks.” Ben's smug smile was back. “Is there anything that someone who doesn't work for you could handle for you?”

Both Maria and Power Woman sucked in sharp breaths.

Ben handed Maria a number to a different untraceable cell phone than his work one. “Send me the details of anything you need accomplished off the books and I'll take care of it.”

Maria immediately pocketed the number without comment. “She-H... ah... Power Woman. I would like to give you the introductory speech and sales pitch.”

Power Woman held up her hand. “I need to ask if this is going to interfere with my life.”

Ben chuckled and she gave him a questioning look. “I don't think you have to worry about that. I provided them with my schedule and they worked around it. I come in when I can to work officially and usually get assigned missions at night, just so it doesn't interfere with my day to day life.”

“Agent Parker was a special case. His various skills were too valuable to lock him down into a single role.” Maria added. “However, considering your current state, especially since you can change back and forth at will and you're not a nearly mindless beast like the Hulk...”

“Hey!” Power Woman exclaimed.

“I said nearly.” Maria said. “The collateral damage from his tantrums have cost millions to fix.”

“Tantrums? He was goaded and attacked by the military!” Power Woman said and her muscles bulged.

Ben quickly sat on her lap and gained her attention. “Hey there, big green and beautiful.”

“Ben, now's not the time.” Power Woman said and she still put her arms around him.

“Actually, I think this is the perfect time.” Ben said and looked into her eyes. “It doesn't matter if Bruce was goaded, hounded, or shot at to make him hulk out.”

“Excuse me?” Power Woman said and squinted her eyes at him.

“It doesn't matter, because the result was the same. Hulk emerged and he lashed out at the annoyances. He didn't care who was near him or what he did. All he wanted was to make them stop and to get away.” Ben explained. “Men, jeeps, tanks, helicopters, cars, trucks, and buildings. All of that were just obstacles for him to get through. It was a simple minded objective and he always accomplished it.”

Power Woman opened her mouth to respond and Ben placed a couple of fingers on her lips to stop her.

“Bruce has issues...” Ben started to say.

Maria made a sound and then coughed to cover it up.

“...because of his childhood and how he was treated. It's a serious problem and the Hulk is a manifestation of his pain and rage. All Hulk wants is to be left alone, because that's all Bruce wanted when he was a child.”

Power Woman blinked her eyes several times. “How do you know that?”

Ben glanced at Maria and back at Power Woman. “I've done extensive research and I know a lot about a lot of things.” He said and sighed. “The problem is, the more I act on that information, the less I know about everything.”

Power Woman got it right away. “I wasn't supposed to be She... Power Woman yet, was I?”

Ben glanced at Maria again and looked back at Power Woman. “By my calculations, you shouldn't have been exposed to Bruce's blood for at least another ten to twelve years. He would have given up being alone by then and would search out his closest family.”

“Me.” Power Woman said and shrunk down to her normal size. “He would have found me.”

“Considering the career path you chose? Easily.” Ben said. “You're driven and you work hard, so I suspect you would be pretty high in either the district attorney's office or a law firm by then.”

“And everyone would either know me by reputation or the firm would advertise their best lawyer.” Jennifer said.

“Exactly.” Ben said and climbed off of her lap. “Since SHIELD used a good portion of the blood Samuel Sterns synthesized out of Bruce's blood to give you a full body transfusion...”

“How did you know we did that?” Maria asked.

“Basic extrapolation.” Ben said. “You have a tentative agreement to leave Bruce alone, even if he doesn't really know you are protecting him and will bring him in as an asset later.”

Maria let out a sigh. “I suppose you even know where he is.”

“Yes, as do you.” Ben said with a smile. “He's arms deep dealing with a disease outbreak in...”

“That's enough.” Fury said and stepped into the room.

Ben hopped up from his chair and saluted him. “Director Fury, sir! It's an honor to meet you.”

Fury gave him a single raised eyebrow. “At ease.”

“Yessir.” Ben said and stood at parade rest.

“If I didn't know you were being serious right now, I would accuse you of mocking me.” Fury said with a twitch of a smile.

“I am a big proponent of never biting the hand that feeds you, sir.” Ben said.

“That's good to hear.” Fury said and nodded at Maria. “You can skip the intro and assign Miss Walters to an agent to run her through basic. If she's half as dedicated as Agent Parker claims, she will become an outstanding agent on her own. As Power Woman, she could save a lot of lives with the training we can provide for her.”

“I'll call the maintenance guys and send them to R&D with my designs for excessive weight training equipment.” Ben said and all three of them turned to look at him. “What? I wanted to test that the suits can actually lift 60 tons and designed equipment to do so.”

“You think I can lift 60 tons?” Jennifer asked, shocked.

“Nah.” Ben said and she relaxed. “I did the math. Because of the mass to muscle ratio between you and the Hulk, I think you can lift about 75 tons.”

Jennifer's mouth dropped open and she stared at me.

“I rated the Hulk at lifting about 200 tons, so 75 is not that big of a deal.” Ben said.

“You're insane!” Jennifer gasped. “I can't lift... I can't...”

Ben straddled her lap and cupped the sides of her face. “Jennifer, relax.” He whispered and gently kissed her. “You're not going to start out at that weight, because you have no training in handling it. That's where a lot of reading and experienced people like me come in.”

“You... really...” Jennifer whispered.

“I had to learn how to move heavy things for my construction job, so I read a bunch and practised. Just like everything else, it takes time, effort, and perseverance to accomplish a task.” Ben said and smiled warmly at her. “After you finish up here today, why don't you come to Stark Tower to visit me on floor 60? I'll show you around and you can pick your office and let me know what you need to fill it.”

“That... sounds nice.” Jennifer said. “Wait, you're giving me my own office?”

“Of course. You need to hire an assistant and maybe even a staff. I've got a few things I need handled that Nelson and Murdock are too busy to take care of for me.”

“You're their exclusive client?” Maria asked and then clamped her mouth shut.

Ben chuckled. “It's not a secret. They get a percentage of the licensing patents they negotiate as a retainer fee.”

“Dear god.” Maria whispered. “You've made them millionaires.”

“Yes, and it was mostly their own efforts to earn that money that's made them rich.” Ben said with a huge grin. “Let me tell you, their negotiating tactics have improved to almost be an art form by now.”

“You gave them free reign, didn't you?” Jennifer asked and Ben nodded.

“I'm not a lawyer, so I figured that I would let the experts handle everything. Giving them a personal stake in everything was the best motivation I could come up with at the time.”

“What do you need me to handle?” Jennifer asked.

“I had this idea about an electronic book reader, so I need a lawyer to handle the negotiations to acquire book licensing deals, patent and profit sharing deals, or even buying the rights completely.” Ben said and Jennifer caught her breath. “Yes, it's going to be a lot of work, which was why I said you need an assistant and maybe a staff. Do you know a few recently graduated lawyers that would like a high paying staff job under your command?”

Jennifer had a frantic look in her eyes as she grabbed Ben by the neck and pulled him in to give him a passionate kiss, right there in front of Fury and Maria.

“I see what you mean.” Fury whispered to Maria, whom nodded.

*

I bid Jennifer good luck on her initial assessments and went up to my office. My suspension didn't start until this evening, so I still had official access to my office. I sat down at my desk and connected my cell phone to the terminal on my desk. I uploaded the lists of mob contacts to it and started to disseminate them down through the available teams.

I had done something similar with the Hydra operations and no one questioned my orders. I had thought about just arresting them all and decided that a problem eliminated was a problem that no longer had to be dealt with. I set them to be completed all at around the same time, late at night, so most could be caught unaware and Jarvis could raid their electronic records to send to the police.

The finances we were using to buy the parts and create his heavily modified body and the rest we were splitting up for the mob people's victims. There wasn't much we could do for the people they had murdered; but, we could give compensation to their families and provide the records to the investigators of those cases. There were going to be a lot of deaths and a lot of solved crimes tonight.

I closed down the connection and put my cell phone away, turned off my terminal, and nodded to Jubadi. We left my office and went down the elevator to the ground floor. I wasn't surprised to not see anyone I knew as I left the building for my two week suspension. It seemed fitting that I would be off work until just after Valentine's Day, and that gave me a wicked idea.

“Jubadi, what would be an appropriate Valentine's Day gift for Shuri?” I asked her as we walked towards Stark Tower. I had most of the day to work on the new brain for Jarvis and I wasn't going to waste it if I didn't have to.

Jubadi thought about it. “One of the hovering Hammer Drone weapon platforms would be sufficient.”

I had to laugh as I thought about what she would do with it. “She's going to try to cram a stealth system into the thing!”

Jubadi smiled at me. “She is quite ambitious.”

We both laughed as we entered Stark Tower and greeted the doorman. I handed him some money and he thanked me as he closed the door behind us. We went up in the elevator to our floor and Jarvis greeted us. He thanked me for getting suspended from work and then apologized for being happy about it.

That kept me laughing all the way to the large room at the back of the building where two more parts orders had been delivered. I told Jubadi she could go work out while I was busy and she gave me a pointed look. I waved her close and kissed her hard, bit her lip, and pinched her ass hard enough to leave a bruise. She let out a moan and nodded before she left with a smile on her face.