Self Insert as Spider-Man MCU

Detective Jean DeWolff kicked herself mentally several times as she waited in her condo just before six o'clock. It had been twice now that she had let a handsome young man manipulate her and he had used a fantastic kiss to pretty much shut her brain off and made her agree to whatever he wanted.

She was a highly intelligent woman and she never let her emotions and hormones override her common sense or dictate how she behaved. She always chose her actions accordingly...

...and here she was, all dressed up in a fancy red dress, and she felt anticipation.

As soon as I see him, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. A huge piece. One that I'm going to shove so far up his ass that he won't walk straight for a month! Jean promised herself.

For some reason, Jean also didn't want him to disappoint her, even though she didn't want the date in the first place. With her resolve to not enjoy the date set just in time, her doorbell rang and she practically stomped over to her front door and yanked it open.

Jean caught her breath at the tuxedo-wearing man that was at least two inches taller than that afternoon. His long brown hair was styled perfectly with gentle waves and her fingers itched to test the softness.

“You look absolutely beautiful, Miss DeWolff.” Ben said without ogling her, took her hand and kissed the back of it, then he gently eased her out of the apartment. He locked her door with the spare key and tucked it back into its hiding space in the window frame beside the door.

Jean didn't ask herself how he had known where the key was, because she had something else to occupy her attention. A stretch limo idled on the street in front of her building and the driver stood beside the back door and waited for them.

Ben took her arm to escort her and put his other hand on the small of her back as he led her down the stairs to the small courtyard and the driver opened the limo's door for her. She climbed inside and the door was shut behind her and she sat there, kind of stunned, and the other door opened and Ben sat beside her.

“I hope I'm not shocking you too much with all of this.” Ben said and she gave him an incredulous look. He chuckled and turned slightly in the seat to face her. “I wanted to go all out and impress you and this was what I and my friends came up with.”

“Your friends?” Jean asked and he nodded. “Do all the women you take an interest in date an entire committee?”

Ben barked a laugh. “I didn't realize I did that.” He said and smiled warmly. “I've only consulted them once before and that was because I needed advice for dating a rich African Princess.”

Jean's eyes widened. “You're joking.”

“Not even a little bit.” Ben said. “I needed the extra help when it was really important to me.”

Jean wasn't sure what to say to that. He had just compared her to a princess and it was a lot more flattering to her than she thought it should have been.

“As for tonight, we have flexible reservations at the best Italian restaurant in the city, a private booth area reserved at the most-happening nightclub, and I thought we could end the night with a bit of sightseeing from the top of the Empire State Building.”

Jean locked into the odd phrase he had said. “The most-happening nightclub?”

“Isn't that what the kids are calling it these days?” Ben asked with a smirk.

Jean laughed, despite her resolve to not enjoy herself.

Ben looked very pleased to have made her laugh, which made Jean put her promised tongue-lashing on hold. She decided to save it for later and they sat in silence as the limo took them to the restaurant.

“Why did you say the reservations were flexible?” Jean asked as the limo slowed down.

“I allowed for good half an hour for you to berate and curse at me before our date could officially start.” Ben admitted, to her surprise. “I was pretty relieved when you stayed silent.”

“I do have a full-blown tongue-lashing that I had planned to unleash on you.” Jean admitted right back. “I'm saving it for later.”

Ben chuckled as his door opened and he hopped out and followed the driver around to the other side and stood there to help Jean climb out. The people on the street waiting to go inside stared at them. Jean did her best to ignore them as she took Ben's arm to let him escort her. He did so and brought her inside the very fancy restaurant.

The grumbles Jean heard made her a little happy to get one over on the snobs that usually looked down on people like her. She wasn't the kind of person that usually held grudges like that, since she wasn't someone that would bother even acknowledging ignorant people's attitudes towards her. It was too much of a hassle to waste time worrying about things like that.

“Reservations for Parker and DeWolff.” Ben said to the Maitre'D and handed the man a hundred dollar bill. “Thank you for accepting both reservations in case of a delay.”

“Well, that explains the odd phrasing of your request.” The man said and pocketed the tip.

Ben gave him a knowing smile. “Perhaps you can word the opened reservation to the next people in line and explain that you worked your magic to squeeze them in early?”

The man smiled back. “That would be a prudent use of an opportunity.” He said and waved a busboy over. “Table 12 in the back. Five minutes for drink delivery, fifteen minutes for the appetizer, and twenty for the meal.”

“Yes, sir!” The young man said excitedly and Jean held Ben's arm as they were led to the right table.

Ben ordered a glass of red wine and Jean copied him. When the busboy left, Jean gave Ben a questioning look.

“I think he's new and learning the ropes on the job.” Ben said. “It could be worse. We could sit here for an hour before someone came to take our order because he forgot.”

“That's a good point.” Jean said and fell silent as they waited for the drinks. She glanced around and saw that the others had dressed just as well as she did and Ben was dressed that much better. “So, you chose a tuxedo.”

“It was a cross between making you laugh and making myself uncomfortable all night. In both respects, you enjoyed it, so it was worth the risk.”

Jean's opinion of Ben went up a little and she tried to fight it down. It wasn't quite working, because they were supposed to go dancing and he was wearing a tuxedo. A goddamn tuxedo in a nightclub!

A huge smile formed on her face and she couldn't stop it.

“I really am a scoundrel to enjoy making you smile like that.” Ben said and a waiter came over with their wine. “Thank you.” He said to the man and took a token sip of it before he ordered devilled eggs and caviar for appetizers.

Jean took a bigger drink than a sip and she sat back to look at Ben. He didn't look nervous at all and sat there calmly as he accepted her scrutiny. “You really do have huge brass balls, don't you?”

“Well, I don't like to brag.” Ben said with as much of a self-depreciating tone as possible. “They're gigantic.”

Jean almost snorted into her wine and Ben grinned at her.

“Before you start complaining that I'm too full of myself or that I'm narcissistic, the truth is I've been dealing with a lot of stuff that you might not be fully briefed on.” Ben said.

Jean raised her eyebrows at him. “And you're going to fully brief me, are you?”

“I could make a few jokes about what fully briefing you could mean.” Ben responded instead of answering her question. “I would have to get you to sign an NDA and perhaps another paper or two if I was to tell you even a fraction of what's been going on.”

Jean gave him a bit of a smug look. “If you're going to bandy around about the alien invasion, I'll have you know that I know a few people. A few high ranking people. I have unofficial access to a few choice files and documents that might curl your toes.”

“Are you talking about the alien autopsies and cybernetic advancements that the augmented aliens will allow humanity to adapt for the disabled and crippled, or are you talking about the portable power systems that can be copied from their weapons and technology?” Ben asked and gave her a smug look back.

Jean's mouth hung open and she was too shocked to react, even after their appetizers were delivered and Ben ordered their main meals. When the waiter left, Ben ate a devilled egg and started speaking again.

“I co-wrote the report for the power system's adaptability with Tony Stark and Tony and Bruce wrote the cybernetic one with a few consultations from me and another friend of mine. He's somewhat of an expert, considering who he is.”

Jean could only stare at Ben, because it wasn't possible. There was no way that a mere civilian could be anywhere near that highly secret alien technology stash that the government had confiscated. They even had a fully intact and undamaged Leviathan Troop Transport that looked like a giant space whale.

“The super-lightweight dense metals that have been harvested are already being dispersed and disseminated into the armed forces. Tanks mostly.” Ben admitted. “The efficiency from having a new power source and lightweight armor has increased a tank's fighting ability by nearly 300% and its survivability by a factor of 10.”

Jean sat there, stunned. Her mind went over everything she knew about Benjamin Parker and there wasn't even a hint that he had some kind of insider information or position anywhere near the government, except for his Ambassador status. That was an odd thing on its own. Now, he proved that he also had better access to restricted materials than the people she knew that had direct access!

Their food came and Jean ate it automatically without even really tasting it. Their conversation had stopped and she desperately wanted to continue it. When the meal was over, Ben asked for the check and he was handed a little leather folder. He didn't even look inside as he put six bills inside and he stood.

Jean was on her feet instantly and grabbed onto his arm as they went to the front of the restaurant and Ben handed the folder to the Maitre'D.

The man checked it and smiled widely as he nodded. “Thank you for your patronage, Mr. Parker.”

“The meal was excellent and the company divine.” Ben responded.

Jean ignored the jab at her staying quiet during the meal and led Ben outside. The limo showed up at that exact moment and Jean climbed in the backseat and stared at Ben with intensity.

“A side trip to the park for a brief stop, Marcus.” Ben said to the driver.

“Yes, sir.” Marcus said and closed the door, then he went to the driver's door and climbed in. The tinted window behind the driver's seat slid shut and there was a loud click.

Ben nodded and took out an envelope from his coat pocket and a pen. “Please read these.”

Jean glared at him and didn't take the envelope.

Ben sighed and opened it and handed her the NDA form. “I can't say more without you signing this.”

“You know it's barely worth the paper it's written on.” Jean said and signed it without reading it.

“I think it's the trust that signing it should instill in someone after they see the recipient actually read the thing.” Ben said, pointedly.

Jean held the glare for another moment and then huffed as she relaxed against the comfortable leather of the backseat to read the form. It was a standard non-disclosure agreement and it didn't have any special clauses or anything, just a monetary penalty to match the breech of trust.

“There, are you happy?” Jean asked and handed it back.

Ben didn't say anything and handed her the next paper. Jean thought about signing it without reading it again, just to make a point about the fruitlessness of superfluous paperwork, then sighed and read it as well. When she saw what it actually was, she almost choked on her own spit. Or her tongue. It was hard to tell.

The sheer audacity of him to give her a contract that would sign over their first born child into Wakandan Military Service was completely ludicrous!

“How DARE you ask me to sign this!” Jean spat, angrily.

“Jean, I have to ask.” Ben said. “I'm required by Wakandan Law to have anyone I liaise with sign the contingency contract. It's not meant to deter anything or curb any activities. It's sole purpose is in case anyone gets pregnant, the child will be protected, well cared for, and taught to become one of the best warriors on the planet.”

“IT'S CONSCRIPTION FROM BIRTH, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!” Jean yelled.

“No, it's an automatic inclusion into a well-rounded family environment. In fact, you are the only one that has questioned it.” Ben said and his calm voice only pissed Jean off more.

“Look, you ignorant prick! I'm not signing my ovaries over to you! You are not taking my children, my future children, or anything even close to becoming my children, and training them to be killers and murderers! You can take your backwards-thinking, misogynistic, and illegal contracts and shove them so far up your ass that you choke on them!”

Ben sat there and didn't say anything at all to her as he looked deeply into her eyes.

Jean felt her indignation and righteousness reduce in intensity as she calmed down. She had severely overreacted and her face flushed to a deep red when she realized she had unleashed an even more severe tongue-lashing upon Ben than she had planned for. It wasn't even for the reason she had originally decided it was going to be for, either.

“I am very, very sorry that you feel that way, Jean.” Ben said in a soft voice. “I didn't realize...” He let out a long and completely resigned sigh. “I sincerely apologize for setting you off like that.”

Jean didn't move as Ben took the paper back and put it, the NDA, and another piece of paper back into the envelope. She was too surprised at herself to ask what that third paper was for.

“I hope that one day you can forgive me for tonight.” Ben said, sadly.

“O-one day?” Jean asked before she could stop herself.

“I highly doubt that you want to continue our date after I made such a huge mistake and embarrassed myself so much.” Ben said and Jean saw that his face was red, too. “There is no possible way that you want to go dancing after something like that.”

Jean really didn't want to do anything, let alone dance, so she nodded.

Ben hit a button on the intercom. “Marcus, take us back to Miss DeWolff's address, please.”

“Yes, sir.” Marcus said and the intercom clicked off.

Jean sat there and felt uncomfortable as the deafening silence in the limo engulfed her. She glanced at Ben occasionally and saw that he looked just as uncomfortable as she felt. She didn't know what to say to change that for either of them, though. She had expressed herself, and her real opinion, and there was no point in trying to soften the impact it had.

The limo came to a stop and despite the situation, Ben climbed out and went around the car to help Jean climb out. He escorted her across the small courtyard and up her steps. He used the spare key to open her door and handed it to her. She knew he meant for her to hide it somewhere else and she tucked it into her clutch purse.

The two of them stood there on her step and the silence was just as deafening as it had been in the back of the limo. Jean wasn't sure how to end it, either. Saying goodnight was as stupid as it was inappropriate. Saying she had a nice time was also mostly a lie. It had started good and then it was destroyed by her opinion of a piece of paper.

Just as Jean decided that going inside without saying anything was the best she could do, Ben reached out and took her hand.

“I'm sorry, Jean. I'm so sorry.” Ben whispered. “I won't bother arguing about what happened.”

Jean didn't respond. She knew he had a point to make and she waited for what he wanted to say.

“Condoms can fail. Taking the pill is only about 90% effective in some women. Even magical spells can backfire.” Ben said and Jean's eyes widened at the magic part. “If anything happened, I needed a way to immediately legitimize it. No questions could be asked. No doubts could be had. If it happened, then I would have it taken care of right away.”

“You make it sound like...”

“No, Jean. You misunderstand. I mean family. My family. It means everything to me and I will do everything in my power to...” Ben paused and closed his eyes briefly, then he opened them to stare intensely into her eyes. “I like you a lot and I wanted things to be...” He shook his head slightly. “It doesn't matter. I sincerely apologize for everything. The flirting. The teasing. The joking.”

“Ben.” Jean whispered.

“I would ask to kiss you one last time, except I know you are never going to look at me the same way after tonight.” Ben said and Jean could do nothing but agree. “I hope you have a great life, Jean. Find someone you want to spend time with and be happy. Forget about all the little details and... don't make the same mistake I just did.”

“You don't have to worry about that last part.” Jean said.

Ben nodded and let her hand go. He didn't say goodnight and just walked away.

Jean watched as he entered the limo and then she stepped into her condo and closed the door. She locked it and absently dropped her purse by the door. She took two steps and felt the tears form in her eyes. By the time she reached her bedroom, her face was soaked from silently crying and she unhooked her dress and let it drop to the floor. She kicked off her shoes and climbed into bed.

A soft sob escaped from between her clenched lips and she hugged her pillow as she cried and cried. She would never be able to explain why she felt like she had lost something precious that night.

When Jean went into work the next morning and found out Ben's case has been taken over by the FBI, she locked herself in an interrogation room and the tears started flowing once more. She somehow knew at that moment that she was never going to see him ever again.