Self Made [Harry Potter fanfic]

5. Mistakes were made



It's been a good six years since my birth and it has been rough. The first six months in particular had been a nightmare. Not being able to control my bladder or sphincter was a curse I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Having someone clean your privates wasn’t nice either. For Lucy’s sake I could have been my new mother’s grandma in my past life! 

 

Another thing that made those first six months hell was my lacking muscle strength and control. Being imobile is not fun and the one thing that kept me barely sane was my mother’s company and insistence on carrying me everywhere. One would think that a family like the Malfoys would be a shit family but that isn’t the case, not entirely at least. 

 

It is obvious for anyone to see that Lucius and Narcisa didn’t love each other. Though believe it or not this didn’t mean they disliked each other. On the contrary the two act more like two very good friends than husband and wife behind closed doors. It isn’t surprising either that the two loved me and Draco to bits. 

 

Though I say they love us to bits it's in a somewhat strange way they show this love. Not like I can’t see where they come from, chances are this is how they were brought up as kids and now they are just replicating it. Once we were able to speak somewhat their demeanor changed somewhat. Some would interpret it as them becoming colder towards us. Instead I saw that they were just becoming strict. 

 

It didn’t take long for Tutors to be employed for mine and Draco’s education and indoctrination. There really isn’t any other way to say it. All tutors are pure bloods with blood supremacy beliefs and so that is what they taught us as well. Draco drank it all and I could already see him becoming the little shit all HP fans know and love. Me? I couldn’t care less about blood supremacy and what not, but I did need to keep appearances. 

 

Unlike me, Draco became spoiled by our parents' praise for his efforts, which didn’t amount to much mind you. He learned the basics and that was about it. I on the other hand drank in all the information that was offered to my grubby little greedy hands. Without a wand though I could do nothing more than memorize the magic theory and wait for my eleventh birthday. That or steal a wand somewhere. 

 

I of course asked my parents for a wand once but they refused like sensible adults. Who could blame them really, a wand is a great tool and an even greater weapon. Hell, bombarda maxima exploded with the force of a C4, you don’t give that kind of power to a then five year old. I am actually surprised they give wands to eleven year olds.   

 

Anyway, since my access to magic was restricted I dedicated myself to raid the family’s library. For as much as I loath to admit it I am thankful to Lucy for reincarnating me in a pure blood family. The amount of knowledge inside the library made me shut in to the point mom had to bring me out kicking and screaming. Now they have prohibited me from spending more than four hours a day there. Originally it was two but I argued vehemently and threw a few tantrums until they made it four.

 

Was it disgraceful to do something so childish? Sue me, I am a child and this stupid body with its stupid underdeveloped brain affects me more than I would like. Anyway, I could see why Lucius and Snape are friends if you could call it that. The library held a lot and I mean a lot of books on potion making. I even found the recipe for the potion in the animagus ritual, a ritual that I would undertake with some modifications of course. 

 

One thing that does bother me in this new life is the gift Lucy gave me. It's nothing too bad, just annoying. My parents realized rather quickly that my touch steals magic. At first they were afraid that I had some blood curse or something else. Not to mention the possibility of permanently depowering them. Thankfully they soon realized neither scenarios were the case. 

 

Unfortunately for me having your magic being sucked from you doesn’t feel nice. Because of this I am forced to dress like a nun. Actually, scratch that, I am even more covered than a nun since I am pretty sure most of them don’t use gloves twenty four seven. I still get hugs and kisses from mom though she makes quite the effort to not touch me directly. 

 

Now that I think about it I wonder if this irritation is what Rouge from the x-men felt. Well, I would guess in her case it was worse since she could kill people by mistake. Me on the other hand, at most the witch or wizard would become winded or faint should they be in a poor physical condition.    

 

With all of this said and done I haven’t forgotten about my own branch of blood magic. Having access to only my blood made it a pain in the ass to make anything useful. That and the fact I need to keep everything secret from my family. Thankfully no one has caught on to what I have been doing. 

 

Now, what have I been doing? might you ask. The answer is recreating a very useful glyph formation that I had carved onto my body in the past. It was a safety mechanism that would use my own life force to defend me. From magic shields to enhanced perception strength and speed. It would activate automatically when my life was threatened. 

 

It had taken me a whole five years and a lot of human experimentation to get it working how I wanted it. Now that I knew the formula all I had to do was create a new formula that would carve the first onto my back when activated. It was rather easy to achieve but my lack of materials made it so I had to work slowly and carefully. That and my child's body didn’t cooperate. Now, at the ripe age of six I had finally gotten a parchment large enough to write the formula on it.  

 

“Here goes nothing.” I said to myself as I laid my back against the parchment that laid on the floor, noctus glyphs tightly written all over it. With a deep breath I prepared myself for the pain to come as I touched my bloody finger on the spot for activation. What came next was the searing pain of glyphs being carved on my flesh. 

 

I wanted to scream bloody murder but I restrained myself as I whimpered alone in my room. Should even a peep of distress escape my lips I would be in deep shit. That is why I used every once of will I could muster to keep my trap shut. It took a good five minutes to finish. Five minutes during which I felt like a red hot knife was having a rave party on my back.

 

Once the engraving process finished I stood up nauseous from the pain. I needed to check if it had been transcribed properly before activating it. Otherwise I could die in an instant from it malfunctioning. With that thought in mind I went to my bathroom to check my back on the mirror. 

 

A work of art, that was all I could say as I looked at my scarred back. It had worked and the entire thing had been carved perfectly. Now it was the time of truth. I placed my still bloody finger on my back in the center of the glyph arrangement. What came next was something I didn’t expect. 

 

“Mother fuck-” I couldn’t even finish cursing as I felt pain that made the previous engraving feel like a love tap. Every single cell in my body was screaming bloody murder as the formation began working. Something had gone horribly wrong. 

 

“I… am… an… IDIOT!” I had forgotten that I had magic now! I could feel how my magic was fighting the engraving, seeing it as a foreign force that was trying to kill me! What my magic didn’t know is that its efforts to protect me was what was truly killing me! Because my magic was fighting the engravings they responded in kind as well, seeing my magic as a threat to myself. 

 

My body continued to spasm on the floor as I felt the war between my vitality and my magic rage on. I needed to act fast or I would die right here right now. With my trembling spasming I got to work writing a few glyphs on my stomach with my bloodied finger. 

 

It took a few seconds but I managed to do it. Activating the new inscription I felt how my magic and vitality began to calm down. That is until they began to rage with renewed vigor. At that point I had given up. I was too tired to think or try anything else.  

 

I hadn’t even realized I was screaming my lungs out the entire time. I resigned to my fate. To die by my own hands due to a simple and stupid mistake. Lucy was probably laughing like crazy seeing my predicament. 

 

What I didn’t expect however was for the pain to get even worse as I felt my entire body being rocked by a violent spasm. I felt the visceral feeling of my flesh wiggling under my skin alongside said skin. I was in so much pain I didn’t notice my father and mother bursting into the bathroom to find my body bleeding from every pore. 

 

“What the hell happened!” My father roared to the poor house elf that had found me. The very same that had been assigned to look after me. The sheer unadulterated rage on my father’s face spoke promises of pain should the poor guy’s answer be unsatisfactory. 

 

“Don’t know! Don’t know! Gurry heard the missus screaming and found her like this! Gurry went to inform master Lucius next!” With a kick the poor elf was thrown away as my father ran to my still spasming body. The next instant he aparated to San Mungo hospital for magical injuries and maladies. 

 

It didn’t take long for me to be admitted into the emergency ward where medy witches and wizards worked tirelessly to figure out what was going on. It didn’t take long for them to come to the wrong conclusion that I was becoming an obscurus since my magic was harming my body.

 

Many potions were shoved down my throat as spells were casted on me to try and stabilize my condition. However, no one could have expected what happened next. I hadn’t realized it but my carefully crafted glyphs had disappeared without anyone noticing them in the first place.

 

The pain went away like it had never been there in its absence, a rush of power filled my body. I felt as if my body was full to the brim with physical prowess. I quickly recognised the feeling as the enhancements my inscription would give me when activated. 

 

Well, at least I wasn’t dying in the next few moments. Bad news though is that if I can’t turn this shit off I will die in a year or two without being able to replenish my vitality. Speaking of, what the fuck.  

 

I couldn’t help but think as I felt my vitality and magic mixing together in a lazy spiral inside my body. It felt nice not going to lie but they shouldn’t be doing that! In my extensive six years of life I had never seen, or rather felt them doing that! 

 

Opening my eyes I came to see a bunch of witches and wizards looking at me with a mixture of worry and relief. That wasn’t important though. What is important at least for me is to figure out what made my magic and vitality mix and stabilize. That and making it believable that I have no clue as to what happened, nothing too hard since I really didn’t for the most part. 


Tip: You can use left, right, A and D keyboard keys to browse between chapters.