Sgt. Golem: Royal Mech Hussar - Stubs Soon!

"From what I hear, you've been doing the work of 10 men."

I shrugged as we walked between the too-quiet tables of listless Hungarian soldiers. I didn't like where this was going already. "I've just done what needed doing. If I did more than any others," I flexed my big hands, "it's because I'm just bigger than them."

"That's not what I've heard."

"I don't want any recognition. Anything you do would just disrespect all the others who've worked their asses off tonight."

The general nodded. His expression thoughtful. "You're right, and I'm glad you feel that way. But there's still something I thought we should do for you."

I frowned but didn't answer. Somehow that didn't sound like a medal.

We stepped out of the cafeteria, and he motioned me to a car waiting nearby. As we approached, a driver standing to the side hopped behind the wheel. He was dressed in a chauffeur's uniform and not a military one. I was working on the assumption that this general was retired, rich, and political, and the chauffeur seemed to back that up.

We both climbed into the back seat. Our driver set off as the general continued, "We have experts in golems here that work for the government. I believe there's some assistance they could give you."

I frowned. I had already met some Hungarian golem experts, and it hadn't ended well. My misgivings must have shown on my face. The general laughed. He waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, I heard about your altercation at the Capitol. This isn't the same people. Well, actually it is, but not that man in particular. Not all of them are so close-minded. Or at least, they won't be after I explain things to them." The emphasis he put on the word "explain" was slightly menacing.

I honestly didn't know what to make of all this. I wanted to protest and deny that I deserved any favors, or else asked to go back to my barracks. But mostly I was just tired. So very tired. I leaned back in the seat as the streets of Budapest whizzed by.

I was still coming to grips with my thoughts and trying to think of a way to beg off his so-called favor as we crossed over the river in the middle of town. Was it the Danube? My European geography was a bit fuzzy. Then we were climbing up a steep hill towards an ancient fortress. We drove through a gate and into a parking lot, nestled between crenelated walls.

"Welcome to Castle Buda, Sergeant Golem."

The general led me into the castle, down tight medieval corridors, through winding passages, and then down deeper into the fortress. We must have been several floors below ground level, somewhere deep in the hill that the fortress perched atop.

We emerged into a cavernous chamber. The twelve-foot ceiling was buttressed by stone arches. The chamber itself was filled with equipment that would have done Dr. Frankenstein proud. A rack of golems stood in the corner, just like the one I had seen when I awoke in Poland.

Two men in white coats were discussing something on a clipboard. They looked up as we entered. “General Nádasdy.”

"Gentlemen," the general said, "I've brought the golem I was telling you about. Sergeant Golem, this is Dr. Ádám Kovács and Dr. Gábor Szabó."

The two men in lab coats studied me wide-eyed as if expecting me to break out in song and dance. For a moment, my fatigue-addled brain considered doing just that.

"Nice to meet you," I said. They weren't wearing uniforms, so I didn't salute. I turned to the general. "Why are we here, sir?"

"I talked to your colonel this morning, and he explained what an unusual specimen you are. It got me thinking. I’ve had some experience with golems in the past and know a little about their construction.”

One of the doctors was sizing me down with almost as much interest in his eyes as the middle-aged Hussars at the party.

"Enough to make me wonder if we couldn't enhance you in some way," the general finished.

"Enhance?" I asked.

Doctor Kovács interjected. "It's quite simple, really. In theory, a golem should be able to absorb vast quantities of information. Nearly all the skill recordings we have should be able to fit in any one golem."

"Should?" I asked.

"Wow, he really does sound human," Doctor Szabó interjected.

I fixed him with a glare. "Yes, someone must have included 'pretend to be human' in my upload."

The man's brow furrowed. "Upload? What's an upload?"

I shrugged. "Whatever it is you call your... the knowledge you stick into golems." I tapped my skull with one thick finger.

"Ah, yes. Upload. I see. An apt term."

The other doctor looked annoyed at having been interrupted. "My point is, the theory of what can be loaded in a golem and the reality are quite different. It turns out that if you put in more than three, sometimes four, skill sets, they start to become unstable."

I raised my eyebrows. "More unstable than me?"

"No, no. I mean actually unhinged."

"Ah. So not like loading in a wandering soul from an alternate earth."

The two scientists gobbled at me. "So it's true what the general told us, that you've developed a belief in a past life."

I snorted. "A belief? Yeah. That's one way to put it. I had a past life. I remember everything. My name, my social security number, what I had for breakfast the morning I died, who my third-grade teacher was. Everything."

"Fascinating," Doctor Szabó said. He lifted his clipboard and started scratching on it furiously with his pen. I couldn't tell if he believed me, but Docotor Kovács definitely looked unconvinced.

"Be that as it may, loading extra skills into a golem invariably has poor results. But from what I've heard, they've given you at least five skill sets. It's a fascinating test case. And the general has speculated that you might be able to hold more."

I raised an eyebrow at the word "test case" and fixed the general with a look. He waved a hand dismissively. "That's not exactly how I put it. I'm quite certain you're an extremely unique example of what we call a golem. I believe your story." He glared at the two scientists. " Either you got some form of incredibly unique skill sets that have programmed you to be the perfect specimen of an army sergeant or it happened exactly as you've described."

I folded my arms, trying to figure out where this was going. “So what exactly do you have in mind?”

The general waved his arm at the equipment around the room. "We have considerable golem expertise, probably more than they do in Poland, as we've been using them considerably longer. We have large libraries of skills, many of which you would find extremely useful."

"What do you think I need?” I was wondering what he did and didn't know about me.

"Hmm. For instance, I got a detailed account of your altercation in the capital, and everyone agreed that the bodyguard golems were more than a match for you."

I unfolded my arms and stood up straighter. "Well, I don't know about..."

"Come, come, sergeant. There's no place for pride in the army."

I frowned but closed my mouth. He was right, and it annoyed me.

"Those golems were loaded with a database of hand-to-hand combat skills as well as armed combat. Skills I don't believe you've been loaded with."

"I did okay last night."

"You got lucky. I inspected what had been done to that mech you took apart. I suspect one of our bodyguard golems would have done a better job, considering how damaged it was before you encountered it, and its lack of weapons."

I frowned and thought to myself, other than a damn machine gun...

"Look, sergeant, I'm not here to insult you. I'm offering you access to our library of skills. You can get the same load as those bodyguards and more. They're taught just one refined martial art as well as an etiquette skill set. That only scratches the surface of what you should be able to load. If what these scientists are saying is right, then whatever's in your head has turned the theory into reality."

"What theory?" I asked.

Doctor Kovács spoke up. "That a golem should be able to handle an indefinite number of skill sets. If you've already received five and are perfectly stable," he eyed me suspiciously as if wondering whether that was true or not. "We should be able to load a sixth and a seventh. Why, who knows how far we could go with you."

He sounded eager at performing an interesting experiment. What they were suggesting was finally dawning on me. Could I really just load a martial arts program like in a movie, plug in, and suddenly I know kung fu? And what else could they load into me?

"Do you have a list of these skill sets? Are they discrete, or is there overlap between them?"

"Overlap?" the general asked.

Doctor Szabó was nodding. "Yes, yes. Good question. There's considerable overlap between the skill sets because so few can be loaded in a given golem, and so many jobs require similar skills. Such as driving a car, still requires properly putting on clothes."

"Well, we want to find skills that don't overlap too heavily. Integrating them causes me a hell of a headache."

Both the doctors perked up at this. "Integrating them? What do you mean integrating them?"

"The skills." I tapped my head. "Getting the skills to line up with what I already know requires a bit of effort and gives me a heck of a headache."

Their eyes grew wide, and Doctor Szabó’s mouth dropped open. "You mean you can feel the skill sets when you use them?"

I nodded and explained about my past experience with driving vehicles and operating heavy equipment. "When my loaded skills and my knowledge from my past life come together, I have to sort of get them to fit together like puzzle pieces. That's when I get a headache."

Doctor Szabó was furiously scribbling notes, and Doctor Kovacs nodded to himself. "Fascinating.”

“So that isn't normal."

Doctor Kovács shrugged. "I have no idea. Golems don't talk about how they use their skills. In fact, they hardly talk at all. You are truly an incredible specimen."

"Look, I just want to rest. This is all very interesting, but I've had a very long day and need a place to lay down. I need to get back to my unit as quick as I can."

The general explained, "I've already talked to your Colonel about all this, and he's given his permission for our experiment. He's also left it up to you whether you accept or not."

"Look, this all sounds very interesting," I said, "but I'm dead tired. I just need to get back and get some sleep. Can we talk about this tomorrow or the next day?"

The general shook his head. "You might not know this, but mobilization is underfoot. Mass mobilization is underway. I have it on good authority that your unit won't be around in two more days."

Doctor Szabó spoke up. "And that's the beauty of what we're proposing. When you use the Frankenstein machine, a golem is revived, reenergized, revitalized one might say. The process of putting in knowledge and memories infuses the construct with vital aura."

The general waved his hand. "Yes, yes, that's enough explanation. The point is, you'll feel much better after we do the first one.”

“The first one? You won’t just load everything at once?”

Szabó nodded vigorously. "Yes, we plan to sequence them one at a time and study how they affect you. It'll be interesting to see if there's any progressive degradation of..."

Once again, Ádám Kovács interrupted him. "It just seems more prudent to do them one at a time."

"So you think there's a real danger here?"

The two doctors looked at each other. I could tell the answer was yes.

Doctor Szabó spoke first. "Honestly, we think it's a only a tiny risk. You've already passed the point where an ordinary golem would have been noticeably affected by—"

Doctor Kovács interrupted. "It'll be fine. Certainly, one more is not likely to have an effect. And you can tell us to stop at any time if you feel that they're having an adverse reaction."

I looked from one to the other, and they looked back eagerly. I wasn't all that concerned. Like they said, I had already gotten way past the normal limit. When the memories had intruded on my own experiences, I had been able to use willpower to get them to behave. The idea of more knowledge, more abilities, appealed.

The humiliation of that fight with the other golems still rankled me. They had swatted my blows aside like they were nothing. After my altercation with the mech, the idea that I could get even more skilled at armed and unarmed combat was frankly exciting. I was already a monster, but I could be a fucking badass.

"Alright, let's do it."

**

The world swam back into view, and I looked up into the eager faces of the doctors.

"How do you feel? Did it take? Do you have the knowledge?"

I felt incredible. My ribs didn’t hurt at all and the swelling was down in my hand.

I had been waiting to use this quote.

"I know Kung-" I broke off as I felt the knowledge I had just received swirling in my brain.

Ah shit.

“Greco-Roman wrestling!?”

Doctor Szabó nodded eagerly. "Oh yes. One of the most ancient and widespread of the European unarmed martial arts."

"How about karate?”

“Never heard of it.”

“Kung Fu?”

“I think that's Chinese, isn't it?”

“Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu?”

“What? Oh, Jiu-Jitsu! I think we have that.” Dr. Szabó was thumbing through a page of listings scanning down a list of entries in his journal. “Oh yes, we do! Only it’s Japanese. Is that alright?”

“Very alright. Hit me.”

Dr. Szabó was looking at his own notes. “We were already planning on giving you… let's see, fencing. Boxing, Queensbury rules. Savate. Stick fighting…”

“Yeah, that's all fine, but can we start with the Jiu-Jitsu?”

“All right, we’ll queue that up. Just relax.”

I lay back as the doctors re-energized the equipment.