Shards of the Broken Heart

I was floating in a warm fluid. I had my eyes closed. I couldn’t open them. Even in this unknown situation, I felt safe and at peace.

I heard my own heartbeat. It was strong and beating at a constant rate with no disturbance. But I found that there were two heartbeats, beating at the same time.

Mine was weak whereas the other heartbeat was strong, which was comforting to hear. I focused on the steady heartbeat and fell asleep again.

I woke up again and was comforted to hear the same strong heartbeat.

This time, I found myself being filled with some sort of energy. This energy was gentle but firm, giving me a euphoric pleasure while entering my body. This energy swirled around inside my body but didn’t do anything.

The days passed, and once again, I fell asleep with the calm heartbeat surrounding me.

Then, one day, I felt uneasy in my body, like I was being compressed. I could feel the ‘metronomic’ heartbeat wasn't calm anymore. It was erratic. And something was pushing me.

After a long time, with a sudden push, I felt the pressure decrease. I couldn’t feel the heartbeat anymore. Also, there was no warm fluid around me.

I was scared. I started crying.

I could hear sounds of excited screaming and murmurings but no sound of the calm heartbeat. It made me cry even more loudly.

Then, all of a sudden, someone cradled me in her arms and pulled me closer into her embrace. I once again found the strong heartbeat that accompanied me. It was a little unsettled, but still, it was familiar.

I stopped crying and calmed down at once. I found my home once again.

I opened my eyes for the first time and found myself staring at a face. The face was of a woman. It was a little pale and a little sweaty. There were some tears in her eyes, but nonetheless, she was smiling.

She had jet-black hair and sapphire-like blue eyes. The first thing I saw in my life was the most beautiful existence ever. Feeling her presence, I clung to her to never let go and fell asleep.

When I woke up again, I was in a warm embrace with the calm and strong heartbeat that had accompanied me for many days. The arms wrapped around me loosed a little and lifted me up to face the face I saw the very first time.

With a gentle smile and a melodious laugh, she said.

~Fu-fu-fu~ “My lovely son, you are so clingy that you didn’t even let go of me in your sleep.”

I could understand her words but could not speak. I wanted to hold her close again, so I tried to stretch my arms towards her. Seeing my action, she was surprised, but her smile grew broader.

“Mother, I also want to hold my brother.”

From my side a different voice interrupted us.

I turned towards the direction and found a small girl sitting nearby. She had the same facial features as the woman who was holding me. From their words, I could deduce they were my mother and sister.

Because my sister also wanted to hold me, I dropped my arms down and tilted my head, my mother and sister. Seeing my actions amused my mother.

“Come here, Alice. Sit on my lap so you can hold him. I could also be nearby so he would feel safe and not cry.”

My sister crawled on the bed towards my mother and sat on her lap, then she took me from my mother gently and cradled me in her arms.

She had a bright smile on her face. She pinched my cheeks softly and then kissed me on the forehead. Her eyes were glowing while she held me in her arms.

“Waahh! He is so cute. He doesn’t even cry. And he is also smiling a little. ~Cute~.”

She patted and kissed me a few more times and then returned me to mother. My mother put me near her bosom and patted my head, too. Feeling their care and love made me happy, and I, too, was giggling.

“Yes, he is cute. After all, he is your brother and my son.”

Saying such, she pinched and kissed Alice on her cheek. Alice started to giggle, feeling our mother’s love.

“Now, it is time to feed him milk. Alice, do you want to drink milk, too?”

Hearing this, Alice had a rosy shade on her face. She looked at me and then back at mother and said.

“I want to drink too, but won’t he need much more? Won’t it be a burden on you?”

“It would be fine for both of you to drink simultaneously. But sometimes babies are a bit possessive. He may throw a tantrum. I think—”

Cutting my mother’s words, I stretched one of my hands towards Alice and toward mother. And tried to say ‘Drink’.

“eenngg, eenngg”

Both of them were shocked to see my actions and words. It would be surprising for a newborn baby to understand and mimic the correct words.

“Seems like he is asking you to drink with him.”

“Wahh! He also tried to speak. Maybe he understands us. So smart.”

Alice patted my head once again and rubbed her cheeks with mine. My mother opened her clothes around the chest and pulled me gently with my mouth towards one of her breasts.

I began to suckle, and warm liquid entered my mouth after some time. The taste was sweet, and the fragrance was intoxicating. I felt bliss as if tasting heavenly nectar.

I tilted my head and found Alice also feeding on mother’s milk. She also had a blissful expression on her face.

When I looked up at mother, she still had the calm, gentle smile that could melt all my worries away. Seeing her made me safe, and once again, I started to drink my mother’s milk. After getting my fill, I began to feel sleepy. Alice also had her fill.

When I looked up while trying to remain awake, I saw my sister and mother with gentle smiles.

“Sleep, my dear. We will always be with you. When you open your eyes, you will see our faces. You are safe with us. Have sweet dreams, my lovely Lucas.”