Slime Girl

- Captain Gareth -

Being guard captain in Ekoras is a shit job.
Well, that's something one could probably guess after a single glance at this town.

I joined the city guard after putting my career as an adventurer to rest.
It was simply the best course of action after everything went down.
While it lasted, we were one of the few groups that could be considered somewhat successful.
As good as is possible in this town at least.
Our team was well-known and had a decent reputation.
However, it was only a question of time till we eventually faced something we couldn't handle.
After making it out of there alive, I knew that things couldn't continue like this.
If you think about it, the whole guild system is basically designed to pit you into increasingly risky endeavors.
One day a mistake, a bad day, or mere chance will turn the sides against your favor and that will be it then.
Though, there are always eager idiots to replace the losers of this dynamic.

I certainly wasn't going to be one of these idiots who would just take that.
So when I saw that things were going down for my team after that one disaster at the mine, I did the only reasonable thing and chose to call it quits.
I thought a decent job at the guard would make for a steady income with a drastic decrease in daily life and death struggles.
As I said, I was a good fighter and had a decent reputation.

With that, it wasn't too difficult to get a job with the guard.
I even directly became an officer, on accords of my good references, and managed to pull off the incredible feat of not getting too involved with the criminals, maintaining a careful balance of not doing too much but not being outright corrupt as to maintain appearances.
It couldn't have been going better for me.
So you can probably imagine my face when the lord announced me to become the next guard captain, responsible for every single affair within the city after the old one got stabbed to death by criminals because "he wasn't respectful enough".
Seriously, if there's one job nobody wants to have...
This position might be the very definition of a lost post.
It's not like there'd be any chance to win in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, I could certainly live without all that scum on the streets.
For now, I managed to deny most "gifts" in my direction, which are essentially bribes to buy my services.
In exchange, I'm not looking too closely at their businesses, but take care of the most obvious crimes to maintain appearances.
That's a mutually comfortable agreement, as I at least don't have to directly support these assholes.
However, I can't do all that much, as their support is too strong.
If I were to let the guard crack down on the criminals we'd have civil war on the streets by tomorrow and the whole city burning.

So all I can do is to maintain peace and order as well as I can.
Which is also in favor of the gang lords, as open anarchy would be bad for business.
Merchants need a semblance of security after all, if they're supposed to come.
This might be the only reason why I'm still alive.
So let's just hope it stays that way.

"Captain! Something happened!" (guard)

What is it now?
Seriously, that those two female adventurers returned was already problematic enough.

What they did the last time raised so much animosity from everyone involved in Cid's underground business that I basically got swamped by requests to turn them in.
The only reason I could avoid having to do that was that they weren't there anymore.
This wasn't too bad, honestly.
I always get an off feeling when I have to do with them.
As many unknowns there are about them, there might be the chance they could be able to inflict serious harm if they were to be cornered.
So yes, not having to engage them wasn't too bad.

But now they return with basically diplomatic immunity.
Royal agents!
Can anybody believe this shit?!
Just great!
Not to speak of the man who arrived with them.
They all spell trouble.
The parties demanding that I shall take care of them are naturally again getting louder.
It's not like they would be the ones in a tight spot if they make unreasonable demands.
So yes, right now I'm not in the best mood to hear about any further problems.

"I'm here! What is so important that it couldn't be delivered in the formal way? It's not like I have..." (Gareth)

What the fuck am I looking at here?
Right now the most troublesome individuals in my life are standing in the guards' barracks while having a whole troop of tied-up men in tow.
Just what is the meaning of this?!

"Sir..." (guard)

Yes, it's obvious that my men are as well at a loss.
At the second look, I realize something really bad.
I recognize some of these people.
They are members of a city-wide known gang.
Naturally, just as protected by the upper nobility as all the others.
And if I'm right, that one over there is their leader.

Oh fuck!
Oh, fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!

"We'd like to report a crime, sir!" (Shari)

Goddamnit!
Why me?!
Just what is wrong with them!?

"Explain! Anyone!" (Gareth)

The new guy in their group takes this as an invitation and steps forward.
The other two hiding their intentions behind those creepy gold-colored masks of theirs.
I have honestly no idea why they thought this might help her to hide anything if they're uncomfortable about their appearances.

"Good day, Captain Gareth. We decided to bring you a little present. With a tie and everything it needs. I hope you can appreciate the effort we put into acquiring it." (M)

The tied-up criminals look all in apparent fear at their captors.
If it wouldn't be my job, I wouldn't be too keen to hear what happened there.

"I'm asking again! And this time I want a clear answer! What happened?!" (Gareth)

"As you wish. We did your job for you and took care of a local gang that was terrorizing the southern district. As the battle was fierce not all of them made it, but the remaining ones are all more than willing to make proper testimonies. You'll see, the case couldn't be clearer. For a start, I suggest you talk to their leader. Renkos, it's your turn." (Michael)

"Sure thing, Pa." (Renkos)

He turns to me.

"He wants me to confess all the bad stuff I did, so I will. There was a lot of stealing, robbing, killing on the way, so it might take a while." (Renkos)

It's obvious that this man isn't in his right mind.
At the same time, none of his confessions come in any way surprising, aside from the fact that he confesses them in the first place.

This will have consequences.
Terrible consequences!

"You don't need to thank us! Naturally, we also remembered to take all the evidence we could. It's so obvious that they are guilty of anything alleged to them, you won't have any trouble at all to turn them over for their rightful punishment. It would require a true miracle if they wouldn't end up convicted. There's basically no chance at all." (Michael)

I see.
So that's the game they're playing.
They prepped everything so I can't just look away here.
It's too big of a case, too brazenly presented, with too much evidence to push everything under the rug.
Also, despite their peculiar characters they're still royal agents.
Ignoring them would mean ignoring the crown.
Such a thing I can't do by myself without involving the lord.
It would be outright disobedience to the crown.
Basically an act of rebellion.
Shit, I have no idea how to get out of this.

"Dear guard captain, you seem troubled. Is anything the matter?" (Michael)

What an asshole.
He's perfectly aware of the situation.
Otherwise, he wouldn't have opted for such a bold move.
Who knows what else they have in hand here?

"It's nothing. It just seems like handling this might turn out to be quite the piece of extra work." (Gareth)

"Ah, of course. Processing all these criminals will certainly not happen overnight. But we're still glad we could do a service to your wonderful town. Speaking of it, there's something else we'd like to discuss." (Michael)

So this was just the pretext.
Of course, it was.
They cornered me for a reason.
There's a great scheme at play.

"Naturally, I will hear you out. Are you fine with my office?" (Gareth)

"Sure we are." (Michael)

I need to somehow control the situation.
The first step is to learn about their true goals.
Ignorance won't do me any favors.
I sit down on my chair, intently staring at the nuisances that make my life so much more difficult.
Maybe I should try to assert a bit of dominance over my domain, but I doubt it works with these kinds of people.

"So, what are your true intentions? Certainly it's not just bringing a bunch of criminals to my place." (Gareth)

"Oh, how great that you admit what they are. I was already getting worried in that regard." (Michael)

"Cut it out! I want to know why you keep on showing up!" (Gareth)

"Well, just one simple thing. We want you to start a raid on every single underground base in the city." (Michael)