Slime Girl

 

- Shari -

 

Oh damn, what to do now?
I completely forgot that I have a successful business running!
Currently, there are quite a lot of people queuing in front of my door.
Still one of the best acquisitions I ever made, but it came with many strings attached.
On another note, I don't have the slightest idea how to deal with so many people.
My resources are dwindling, and I never was great at customer service.
However, the problems won't go away because I wish them to.

This leaves me with two options, pushing through this sales operation or sending everyone away, which might cause problems for me by upsetting this crowd.
Also, did I mention the girl in my cellar?
Once again I feel like the world sets me up to make this situation more and more ridiculous.
Nonetheless, I still owe Tamarah money, and she doesn't seem like she wants to see me in the near future.

So I judge that it might be better to make some money.
However, I'm almost out of ingredients, which means no potions to sell.
A kinda big issue for an alchemy business.
To remedy this there's but one choice.

I quickly write a list with the things I need to restock and the approximate prices.
This comes down to hopefully less than two silver.
Which I provide in copper, as that's what we're mostly dealing with.
With this, I form my doppelganger and send it down the cellar.

 

"Okin, I know you're currently spending a moment with your sister, but I need your help with some groceries. So please, finish your meal and then take this list and the money." (Shari)

 

It's almost funny.
Some days before I wouldn't have trusted my money to him, but now I can be rather sure he won't run off with it and abandon his sister.

 

"Excuse me! Will you open soon?" (pushy potential customer)

"Please! Just a little bit more patience!" (Shari)

 

Seems like I can't delay things much further.
The people out there start to become impatient, as nothing riles you up so much as staying in a queue that just won't move.
This means I have to make potions to sell to these people.
Yet with this comes up another issue.
To make anything happen, I need a cashier.
But Nia is out of commission, and I’ve already given Okin another task.
This leaves...

 

"You're looking at me. Why?" (Liqu)

 

Oh my god!
Am I seriously considering this?

 

"Liqu... You're good with calculating stuff, aren't you?" (Shari)

"Ehm, yes? I think so at least. It's a bit part of being a slime." (Liqu)

"And you were able to use money, right?" (Shari)

"Yes? I mean, it was a bit scary, but I think it worked out well." (Liqu)

 

Does anyone know this sense that something feels like a really bad idea, but for fuck's sake nothing comes up that would finally get in the way to prevent it from actually happening?
Just why does this slime have to appear so damn competent on paper?

 

"Okay, Liqu. I'll be honest. Could you go behind the counter and do the selling?" (Shari)

"Me!?" (Liqu)

"Yes, you! We don't have any other option. I need you." (Shari)

 

Promptly she becomes still.

 

"You... need me?" (Liqu)

"Yes. As someone to rely on now. Would you mind helping me out, please?" (Shari)

"Oh, yes, yes! Sure. Ehm, how exactly?" (Liqu)

"People will tell you what they need. You take the potion, hand it over, and then take the money in return." (Shari)

"How do I know how much I need to take?" (Liqu)

 

Oh right.
That was Nia's thing.
I actually have no idea about the prices.
While I start taking care of the potions, Okin runs past me, coming from the stairway.

 

"Ahem, Nia? I'm aware this might be a bad moment, but what are you usually selling everything for?" (Shari)

"S-seriously? Urgh. Cough, cough. Usually twenty-five to forty copper per unit, it depends on what they want. Don't hand over too much at once. Only tiny amounts." (Nia)

"Oh, good to know." (Shari)

"Could you now please grant me some respite? I think I'm dying here." (Nia)

"Oh, yes. Sorry." (Shari)

 

She might want to be alone while her innards dissolve.
So I close the door and relay the information to Liqu, so she knows how to fill the bottles.
With this, I am finally able to open the shop.

Instantly, the customers stream inside.
As far as I can tell, the slime at the counter is off to a rough start, taking the requests in a sincerely flustered manner.
However, I'm not as concerned as I was before with sending her for our groceries, because this time I'm in the vicinity.
Despite her struggle and frequent calls for help, I decide to only intervene when things start to really go downwards.
As long as things don't become violent, this is a good practice for her to become more secure in social interaction.
Figuring out the things she needs, she will soon enough adapt.
As it's the nature of a slime.

After some early difficulties, we slowly get into the rhythm.
I manage to prepare orders on time, set up the new solutions, and hand them over to Liqu without anyone noticing that the alchemist is in fact a giant slime monster, feeding its body to the masses.
I even need to feed myself with Liqu's meat to keep up with the mass I'm spending.
Liqu on the other hand, can portion the requested items as instructed and do the exchange with the customers.
Quite a lot of people even thank her personally or just in my stead for our service, which doesn't help her get less flustered.

Eventually, Okin returns with the ingredients and more containers.
We may offer a return fee of five copper for the latter, but that doesn't mean we're safe against shortages in that regard.
However, in total, we get through a rather profitable day without any greater disturbances.

 

             

 

- Liqu -

 

My Shari tends to do rather weird things.

 

"Would you also have a stamina potion for my husband?" (customer)

"Uh, yes. Sure. Right..." (Liqu)

 

Ehm... Stamina, stamina.
St-a-mi-na!
Ah, yes that was it!

Why is this so complicated?!
I have to focus so hard on all the details that my core is almost melting from the heat.
How do humans manage to do such a thing without enhanced thinking?
It's incredible.
At least on this matter, I seem to have underestimated them.
This task might even imprint into my core as much as it takes from me.
Okay, I can interact with many humans, but I'm not sure if this is something I'd want to be stuck with doing.
It's quite exhausting, to say the least.
Though, I'm aware that they're giving us money.
I can even make sense of the amount and come up with quite a huge pile of meat I'd be able to acquire with this.
So it's probably still a good thing.
At least, I could just dissolve everyone if it gets too much.

 

"Hey, I suppose this is it!"

"To think an alchemist would open up in this district!"

 

Huh, what's that now?
A group?

 

"Boris, let me go in first. You're not the greatest talker."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" (Boris)

"Exactly this!"

 

The rather loud voices enter and I stand somewhat overwhelmed.
Adventurers!
Adventurers came right up to me!
Are they on the hunt?

 

"Good day. I'm Faldon and would like to make some purchases. We're about to move out and would like to stock up on health and stamina potions first. It's said on the street those are a specialty of the house." (Faldon)

"Ehm, could you please go?" (Liqu)

"Excuse me? I fear I don't understand. Did I do something wrong?" (Faldon)

 

Okay, it's not so bad yet.
It doesn't seem like they're able to identify me.

 

"Wait a moment! You! I know who you are" (Boris)

 

That didn't last very long.
I prepare to dissolve him the moment he makes his move.
Though, Shari wouldn't like this.
But at least I might damage his limbs to decrease his offensive potential.

So I get ready.

 

"You're the bitch that attacked me in the guild hall!" (Boris)

 

Huh!?
He's not attacking?
Just shouting.
Hm, regarding what he said that should mean I met him before.
Also, he doesn't seem to like me.

But no matter how hard I think about it, nothing comes up.
Not all of my interactions with humans are worth remembering and their physical features are usually nothing I memorize.
In hindsight, they look all the same to me.
So, who is this?

 

"Hey, don't dismiss me! I'm talking to you!" (Boris)

 

Ah, damn.
I forgot that there are such peculiarities in human interaction.
They always want you to focus your vision on them.
Just so you know, I can see you just fine without doing so.
If I could just tell them that.

 

"Whack"

"Would you, please?!" (Faldon)

 

Then the peculiarities become even stranger when the man who talked first with me hits his comrade for some weird reason in the side.
I'm honestly at a loss regarding how to react to this.

 

"I'm very sorry for my friend. He didn't mean it like this. It's just that he has a very poor temper and tends to do reckless things which he regrets later on." (Faldon)

"Regrets?" (Liqu)

"Oh, yes, he's very, very sorry. I heard about that incident in the guild. You can believe me, had I been there I would have prevented this kind of behavior from my fellow teammate. Such mishaps aren't tolerable. Especially not towards a fine lady such as you. My comrade just tends to forget such things and is very sorry afterward. Just like right now." (Faldon)

"Hey! I didn't..." (Boris)

 

"Whack"

 

"Shut up!" (Faldon)

 

Another hit.
Well, knowing what I do about the human sense of pain taking those hits can't be pleasant.
So I agree that it's something to be sorry for.

 

"So he's sorry?" (Liqu)

"Oh... Oh! Yes, extremely! Tell her you're sorry!" (Faldon)

"But I didn't..." (Boris)

"Would you shut the fuck up?! I don't intend to lose this business opportunity because of your useless pride which I can't buy anything from!" (Faldon)

"Urgh." (Boris)

"Now go for it!" (Faldon)

 

And then a small miracle happens.
That rude adventurer lowers his head and says words I never heard before in such a manner.

 

"I'm very sorry for attacking you. I lost my self-control and wronged you. For this I apologize." (Boris)

"Okay..." (Liqu)

"Deeper." (Faldon)

 

At this, his fellow "comrade" pushes him completely to the ground.

 

"Yes, yes! Okay, I'm sorry! Please stop! I'm sorry!" (Boris)

 

Is this that ominous "power" my Shari spoke about?
The kind that allows one to control other humans?
That a human apologizes to me is so novel, but I think I can get behind this concept.
It clearly has its advantages.

 

"Now that this was sorted out, would you consider selling to us?" (Faldon)

 

Ah, this is what he wanted.

 

"Well, okay. What do you want?" (Liqu)

"Thank you. As I said before we need healing potions..." (Faldon)

 

After this things develop as usual.
He tells me what he wants, I tell Shari about the order, and we exchange the money.
Finally, I can get rid of them.
But before he leaves, that adventurer turns again towards me.

 

"Ah, right! I heard some of our colleagues plan to come as well, so you should prepare for quite the rush." (Faldon)

 

Whyyy?!