The Final Desperation

Ij'gne woke up on the floor with a throbbing headache in the back of his brain. The pain was a dull one and resembled an unpleasant hangover after an intense night of drinking. 

"Ugh, what happened to me?" Ij'gne groaned, massaging the side of his temples with a circular motion.

At this moment, he noticed two glowing eyes staring curiously at him from the darkness. Ij'gne jolted to his feet and prepared to fight, but relaxed when he realized it was only a ferret. Seeing Astros, memories of the previous day rushed back to him, worsening his migraine. 

"Oh, so that was all a dream. What a mysterious method," he commented and sat back down on a chair. 

After adjusting for a few moments, he picked up Astros and scratched the back of his head, mimicking how the ferret's former owner used to do it. Ij'gne tried his best to replicate those movements since he understood the sense of loss Astros was going through. Why else would such a cheerful creature enter such an uncomfortable area, if not in search of his master?

Only Ij'gne didn't have the heart to tell Astros that Genji had died. Although the man had been an enemy, Ij'gne couldn't fault Genji because his side had been the one to initiate the conflict. Assuming what he saw was accurate, he knew the history he'd been told was a modified version. Genji hadn't entered their domain out of a desire for destruction, but rather in search of his comrades. 

It was a noble cause and Ij'gne would have done the same given the circumstances. And now, this harmless critter had followed in his master's footsteps. Ij'gne didn't want to leave Astros alone like this so he vowed to take care of him in Genji's stead.

'I inherited your daggers. This is the least I can do for you,' he thought, recalling the impressive figure in his memories.

Astros purred comfortably under his touch and cuddled against his arm, entering a relaxed state. However, Ij'gne could sense a faint unease from its movements, further solidifying his resolve. 

'I wonder what happened to that red horse. Shouldn't it be taking care of this guy?'

Ij'gne cradled Astros until the ferret fell asleep before gently placing Astros on his bed. Then Ij'gne walked over to his window and gazed at the clear night sky above. It had only been half a day since he'd lost consciousness but it felt like a lifetime had passed. He'd been introduced to so many new ideas and he couldn't sleep.

Just the idea of there being worlds outside his own made him consider the endless possibilities in the universe. What was it like out there? Are there worlds similar to his own? Different? How so? What about its inhabitants? Would they be humanoids like what he was familiar with or something completely unfathomable? These questions made his heart race with anticipation and thirst for adventure. 

He'd never felt this way before and he desired to seek those answers, but he quickly stifled those ambitions. Before everything, he was a priest of the world tree.

He needed to take care of it above all matters because it was only with the tree's help that Ij'gne achieved his current standings. Without it, Ij'gne would be nothing. So for the sake of repaying this life-changing favor, Ij'gne buried those thoughts and humbled himself as one of its believers. 

'Not in this life. But if there's a life after this one, I definitely want to.'

The following morning, Ij'gne had rid himself of these thoughts and returned to his normal duties. He left some coarse bread for Astros and headed for the world tree once more. Everyone greeted him as usual, their words repeating like a broken record. This comparison came to him like an intrusive thought, but Ij'gne quickly dismissed it.

'I must have heard it one too many times. There's no way they're like that. But what even is this record thing I just compared them to? And why does it make so much sense to me? I don't think I have seen such an item.'

Ij'gne soon reached the world tree and he put away his stray thoughts. As he approached, the same priest as before held out the offering for the day. Yet as Ij'gne reached for them, the plump fruits suddenly became decapitated heads. Black botches of dried blood were smeared on the face, emphasizing the hollow eyes that stared hauntingly back at him.

'What-'

Ij'gne nearly jumped at the sudden transformation, but his trained instincts quickly reined in his flinch.

"Is something wrong, high priest?" the servant asked, looking concerned. But to Ij'gne, the man felt like a mannequin, his expression artificially crafted and insincere.

Though Ij'gne didn't know what a mannequin was, he responded as if nothing had happened. "No, I was just lost in thought."

"Okay. Take these. Our lord is awaiting your presence," the man said, offering the offerings once more.

Ij'gne looked back and realized the heads had transformed back into fruits. Relieved, he took them and walked inside the ceremonial room. Placing them on the altar as before, he readied the crushing block. After clasping his hands to pray, he aligned the block over the altar. At that moment, the fruits became gruesome heads again, but Ij'gne remained unfazed this time.

Using his body weight, Ij'gne pushed down, creating a sickening crunch. The once satisfying sound of popping fruits had turned into a horrifying cacophony of death. Pinkish brain matter, yellow-brownish cerebrospinal fluids, and red blood oozed out between the crevices of the altar, painting it grotesque.

A sharp, acrid smell wafted up Ij'gne's nose, upsetting his stomach and causing him to inwardly gag. Pushing down harder, he hoped to end the unpleasant experience and suppress the surging discomfort inside him.

A few drops splattered on his face, but Ij'gne forced himself not to think about it. A few seconds later, everything had turned to pulp, and he repulsively wiped down the altar.

"Good work, high priest," the servant's jarring voice came from the doorway, waking Ij'gne from the bloody scene before him. "I can take it from here if you want to take the pulp outside and bury it."

"Thank you," Ij'gne said somewhat absentmindedly, picking up the now fruity remains.

"No problem. Happy to serve," the man answered as Ij'gne walked past him.

Once done, Ij'gne went to the barn attached to the building and grabbed his cleaning tools. Yet, even this peaceful task was marred by his horrifying visions.

A few minutes into his task, the debris shifted under his gaze, becoming remnants of weathered bones, hardened skin, and grey ligaments. These disturbing images only intensified, causing Ij'gne to doubt himself. At some point, he began praying for someone to talk to him, to distract him from these mentally disturbing hallucinations. Anyone would do—please, just relieve him of his duties!

Realizing this wouldn't happen, Ij'gne picked up his pace. Gone was the tranquility and respect of his actions, replaced by disruptive anxiousness.

'What's wrong with me?' he asked himself as he finished the last piece. 'Why am I so restless today?'

Returning his tools to their place, Ij'gne walked home in the shade. Even the shadows of his lord couldn't calm him today; they heightened his unease, seeming like demonic signs of corruption.

'Demonic?' Ij'gne asked himself. 'Isn't that what those barbarian heretics called our lord? Did those memory fragments subconsciously influence me like this? Damn it! I knew that guy had an ulterior motive for showing me that. It should have been obvious when he portrayed Father and the lord in such a negative light.'

Ij'gne became irritated by this realization, and his pace reflected his mental state. His leisurely steps vanished as he began stomping his feet. This was his only way to vent accumulated frustrations, which eventually transitioned into a sprint across the settlement.

Arriving home, he kicked open the door, startling the sleeping Astros. Grabbing an empty wooden bucket, he headed for the nearby well. After filling it up, he rushed back home and slammed the door.

Placing the bucket down, he grabbed a chair and moved into the darkness where the sun couldn't reach. Sitting down, he buried his face in his hands, taking deep breaths to erase the haunting images from his mind. Seeing his disturbed state, Astros walked over and gently poked at his leg, inquiring about his condition.

"I'm okay," Ij'gne answered with a forced smile. "Just had a long day."

Astros tilted his head in confusion before jumping onto his lap. "Yiiii yiii," Astros cried out and nuzzled against his stomach.

This greatly relieved his discomfort and soon, Ij'gne began petting Astros to calm his nerves. This continued into the afternoon and Ij'gne began forgetting his worries. That is until a soft knock sounded at his door.

"Ij'gne, you in there?" Zarasu's muffled voice came from the other side. "I heard you were acting strange today."

It was a reassuring tone that any caring parent would have, yet Ij'gne felt a strong trepidation from hearing it. He couldn't understand why he was feeling this way, but some part of him was unnerved by Zarasu's presence. It was as if Ij'gne was in the presence of a mortal enemy capable of killing him if he made a single mistake. 

'That doesn't make sense. He's my father. He wouldn't harm me!' Ij'gne thought to himself.

However, Ij'gne didn't have much time to dwell on this issue as another knock sounded again. "Ij'gne? Is everything okay?" Zarasu asked again.

Hearing this, Ij'gne's apprehension swelled to a new level and panic began setting in. Whatever the reason, he couldn't let Zarasu discover his condition. He needed an alibi!

"Give me a moment," Ij'gne called out with the calmest voice he could muster. Then in a moment of inspiration, he rushed over the bucket of water and dunked Astros in. This startled the ferret and caused him to thrash around in discontent, widely spilling water everywhere.

"Oh my god, stop flailing around! I'm trying to clean you," Ij'gne exclaimed, much to Astros's annoyed glare. It was as if Astros was asking why how Ij'gne could be so shameless to pin the blame on him when Ij'gne was the one that caused this mess.

"Okay, fine. I'll stop. Look at the mess you made," Ij'gne continued, disregarding the look.

Ij'gne gave Astros a rough drying before walking to the door in his soaked robes. "Sorry Father, I wanted to finish his bath before he slipped away," he said opening the door.

Zarasu scanned his messy figure before turning to the wet Astros. The dissatisfaction in the ferret's eyes amused him and elicited a soft chuckle. "No, it's fine. I was just worried that something unexpected happened to you. So is this the reason you rushed home today?"

"Yes, Father. I was worried about leaving him alone at home. I just picked him up yesterday," Ij'gne lied without a shred of guilt.

"Just make sure it doesn't distract you from your duties. We are priests before anything," Zarasu said, patting his shoulder.

"I understand," Ij'gne said. "It won't happen again."

"That's good. I'll get going then." Zarasu turned around and slowly walked away, leaving Ij'gne by the door.

When Zarasu left his sight, Ij'gne closed the door and broke out into cold sweat. 'That was a close one,' he thought. 'But why did I need to hide that from Father? It wasn't like I was doing anything wrong.'

Despite these thoughts, Ij'gne didn't regret his choices. Something reassured him that this was the correct choice and he trusted that feeling. 'That or maybe the memories are affecting me more than I think.'

At this moment, Astros bit his finger again, expressing unhappiness and waking Ij'gne from his thoughts.

"I'm sorry," Ij'gne apologized and gave Astros a head rub. "I'll make it up to you later."

However, Astros puffed his cheeks and leaped out of his grasp, maintaining his glare.

'I think I ended up on his bad side,' Ij'gne thought, scratching his head with a wry smile.

Later that night, Ij'gne had nightmares about his daytime experiences. The holy tree in his memories had taken on a nefarious appearance consisting of dark red branches and bloody roots. Many screaming souls could be seen beneath its soil, expressing their suffering and pain. Discomposing bodies entangled by small vines could also be seen, their expressions permanently frozen in fear and agony.

Zooming out, Ij'gne saw a ghastly face in the middle of the trunk. As if noticing his gaze, this face turned to him and unleashed a silent roar. Then Ij'gne jolted awake, his body drenched in sweat and his breath more rugged than the mountains outside. His chest rose and fell like a beating drum and his mind rode a giant roller coaster of emotions. 

"What was that?" He whispered to himself. "A nightmare? But that felt so realistic!"

Genji walked over to his window and peered outside. It was still night, around the same time he'd woken up yesterday. 'It seems like I'll be starting my day early,' he thought. After that experience, Ij'gne didn't think he could fall asleep any time today. So he simply gazed at the sky and awaited dawn's arrival.

Once the first beam of light reached him, he got up from his seat and headed for the world tree, hoping to wash away his bad memories with his lord's figure. However, this proved to be a mistake, as he walked in on the morning priest decapitating a group of absent-minded residents.

Ij'gne's eyes dilated with shock and his thoughts grew tumultuous. However, he regained his bearing before the priest noticed his fluctuation. 

"You're here quite early today," the priest said after he killed the last resident. "Why the sudden change, high priest?"

His tone sounded almost threatening to Ij'gne, but he pretended everything was normal. "I wanted to see what the dawn tasks were like. Are those the fruits you harvested for today?"

"Ah yes," the man said. "They're not quite ready for the morning offering since they need to dry first."

"Then what about those trees? I haven't seen them before."

"They are our lord's subsidies. The trees grow in a random spot every day and provide these fruits. It's a shame each tree only bears one fruit, or we can offer much more."

"It's a shame indeed," Ij'gne said disappointedly. "So what do you do after you harvest the fruits?"

"I put them out in the sun to dry. Then as the sun rises, I move them to the brightest spots. That way, they can make it in time for the ceremony," the man gave a standard answer.

"I see. Then do you have any other duties?"

"No. That's my only task."

"Cool. Can I watch?"

"Sure, go right ahead. Just don't disturb those tree remains. The lord likes to reabsorb the nutrients after the fruit is harvested."

Ij'gne nodded and stood aside, ignoring the shrinking pile of corpses as tiny tendrils squeezed the liquid out of them. Ij'gne had decided that he would give the same treatment to all strange visions going forward. The world tree is holy and it's impossible to be otherwise. Since he's seeing these hallucinations, then the problem must be with him, not his lord. But that wouldn't stop him from performing his duties faithfully.

'Hphm. You think these illusions can sway my belief? Think again. Comprised or not, I refuse to give into your influences.'

After a few hours, the priest finished the task and it was Ij'gne's turn. He took the severed heads inside and repeated the duties before cleaning up the eroded remains of the corpses. Then he returned to his hut and procured some food before playing with Astros. The little guy still hadn't forgiven him for the previous day, but his attitude had eased up.

After a whole day of relaxing, Ij'gne finally welcomed the embrace of sleep, only to be met with another nightmare. This time, the scene consisted of people being painfully decapitated before their brains were fed to the ever-becoming malevolent tree. Their haunting bore into Ij'gne as if asking how he could do such a cruel act without flinching. 

The scene zoomed into the soil, revealing the ocean of blood and the mountain of bones hiding beneath the tree. Then Ij'gne jolted awake again and repeated the struggle from the previous night. However, he was much more composed this time and quickly regained his poise. 

'More propaganda. When will you give up?'

Hours later, Ij'gne got up at dawn and joined the morning priest in his duties. He would crush the fruits, pick up the debris, go home, play with Astros, and sleep. However, his rest was short-lived as nightmares plagued him again, growing worse with each cycle. The details became grimmer and his mental state began deteriorating.

It took a lot from him to ignore these brutal depictions, leaving him more exhausted by the passing day. Eventually, it became so bad that Ij'gne began hearing voices in his head. 

"&$(^$&@@(#%&"

Ij'gne couldn't make out what the voice was saying, but it came multiple times a day. The only times he was free from its influence was when he was with Astros, and fully relaxing himself. But the more he tried to ignore it, the louder it became.

"Wa(*@&%!#+, "It would say, often distracting him from his task. But Ij'gne trudged on with resilience, having made a promise to his father. He must keep his word, no matter what!

"Wa&#(@&%up," it sounded again.

"Wak&@^up."

"Wake up."

"Wake up."

"WAke up"

"WAke UP"

"WAkE uP"

"WAKE UP!"

Until finally, he couldn't ignore it any longer. Even during his sleep, he wasn't free from its torment. Now, he couldn't even sleep as the voice would scream at him every time he tried. Ij'gne tried his best to make it through his days, but he was nearing his limit. The others were also starting to notice his deteriorating mental state and heavy eye bags, further accelerating his mental collapse.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I am awake!" Ij'gne roared into his pillow. Even in his state, he inexplicably knew that he shouldn't cause a scene and attract the attention of others. It was a curious instinct, but he didn't care anymore. "Otherwise, I'll make you!"

"WAKE UP!" The voice repeated itself as if taunting him, causing a maddened glint to form in his eyes.

'Fine, you asked for it!' Ij'gne clenched his face as hard as possible, seeking to crush the voice inside his head. The joints of his fingers turned white from the exertion and his knuckles creaked stiffly.

The cheekbones of his face throbbed with pain and his tendons screamed for release, but these sensations only encouraged him to apply more force. Suddenly, a cool material manifested under his hand, evoking a maniacal grin from Ij'gne. 

'Got you!' He celebrated and yanked the material off his face, finally basking in the peace of silence. At this moment, the moonlight shined through the gaps in his half-closed window, revealing the item in his hand.

Yet the moment Ij'gne saw it, he froze, and his pupils widened like never before. "W-what?!? Why do I have this?!?" His voice was laced with utter disbelief and confusion, emotions that his exhausted brain couldn't comprehend.

Because in his hand, was a black mask reminiscent of the darkest nights. It was a mask that he'd only seen in his memories and shouldn't be in his possession. Yet here it was, against all expectations, welcoming the light amidst the darkness.

At this moment, the corner of his eyes saw the reflection in the water - a face that matched the owner of the mask. It was Genji.