The Greatest Sin

King Richard VI looked through letters. An invitation to a dance, the official proclamation of the first Epan International Archery Competition, a plea for help from Ausa, a rather terrible financial report.

Helenna lay on the ground and watched the stars above. Divines did not need to sleep, nor could they get absolutely wasted like mortals, they could faint from pain or be put to sleep but Helenna was never good at closing her eyes. Now with Iniri gone, with Kavaa and Kassandora gone into that great green mass on the horizon, with them being accompanied by Fer… Could anyone sleep with all that on their minds?

She heard Iliyal approach, felt him rather. Helenna’s hearing wasn’t exceptional, nothing like Atis’ had been, even Kavaa had better ears than she did, but Helenna would always know when mortals were about. Iliyal had a slow heartbeat and a fast mind, both cold. They reminded her of clocks. “Helenna.” Iliyal said. Helenna did not move. She sat on the ground, knees brought to her chest, and eyes focused on the Jungle ahead of her. She did not care what the camps did, Kavaa’s Clerics and Kassandora’s new army weren’t hers to command anyway. She had never met soldiers who liked Love snooping about when the winds of war were blowing, so she stayed away.

“Mm.” Helenna idly replied after a minute of silence.

“We’ve been recalled. Me, Ilwin and Daganhoff. We’re leaving when the Raptors arrive.”

“Are you not taking Neneria?”

“Neneria wants to stay.” Iliyal said. “And she wasn’t called by name.” He came close and stood next to Helenna.

“Do you think they’ll get out?”

“It is Goddess Kassandora leading.” Iliyal said. “Of course they’ll get out.” and Helenna smiled. The man was cold, but when he spoke of Kass, it was like he was speaking of a loved ancestor. It was just a slight change in his tone, barely a drop, no one else but her would have noticed it. His heartbeat quickened just slightly, his muscles tensed for a moment before he relaxed them.

It was good that Kassandora had people that worried about her. Helenna turned to look up at the man. He stood there exactly as she remembered him from the Great War. Tall and cold faced. With the pointed ears peering out of his blonde hair and those dreaded eyes that were the colour of green snakeskin. “How can you be so sure?”

“Because Goddess Kassandora is the best of them all.” Iliyal said. Then sighed and looked down at Helenna. “Hold yourself together, she’ll make it.”

“You’re the last person I’d expect that from.”

“There’s not many of us ancients about.” Iliyal said. “She’ll come out, she wouldn’t have gone in if she thought there wasn’t a chance.” Helenna smirked. A mortal proclaiming himself in the same league as the Divines? The man had courage, she had to give him that.

“Well…” Helenna wandered what she should say. She had never fought directly with the man, but her spies had ruined a great many of his plans back in the Great War. “Take care then.”

“Take care.” Iliyal looked up at the night sky. The two planes that had dropped off Fer and Neneria shot above.

“That’s my ride.” Iliyal took another breath. “I’ve given Damian Sokolowski a contact to us. If help is needed, then call.”

“We’re not on the same side.” Helenna replied.

“Are we not?” Iliyal asked. “You may not be, but Kassandora is.” He turned. “You’d do well on our side.” And then he walked off. Helenna sighed as she looked back at the forest. Joining Arascus? She had never considered that nowadays. It was a proposition she had thought about a thousand years ago, she had stalled then. Stalled until Allasaria had swept her up. Did she join the White Pantheon? Or was she merely conscripted. Helenna did not know.

Maybe a bit of both. Probably a bit of both.

Before she knew it, she was working for Allasaria. She smiled to herself. Same story, different time. Now, she was simply working Kassandora. Some things never changed. The night changed to day.

Dawn rose above that Jungle, with all its vivid oranges and yellows, then dawn gave way to day. The light scorching blue Arikan sky eventually started to retreat to purples and reds, and until it collapsed into a canopy of dark blue. It was a full-moon today, a beautiful night, the sky spilled over with stars. Helenna had sat through another day.

Helenna felt Neneria a mile away. The Goddess of Death was sitting down on the red sand and being avoided by everyone. Even the Arikans did not particularly like her. Still though... Helenna watched the woman as she gazed into the forest. How long had she been there? An hour passed and Neneria did not move. The moon slowly sauntered across the sky and Neneria did not move. It began to set as the east started to get brighter and Neneria still sat there.

Helenna finally moved.

It was a slow walk. Helenna wiped the dust off her clothes and readjusted them until there was nothing left to change. Then she straightened them a bit more. Eventually, she reached Neneria. The woman sat there, silently, watching the Jungle. In her dark dress and with that black hair, she practically melted into the night, but her pale skin reflected the light like a torch. She did not even glance at Helenna. “Can I sit here?” Helenna asked.

“Divines don’t ask.” Neneria replied, still unmoving. “But go ahead.” Helenna sat. Of all the Divines, Neneria was the one Helenna understood least. Even Malam, Goddess of Hatred, had things to be said about her. What was the Goddess of Death? Death was death. The end. That was it. Someone died and life was over.

Helenna pulled her knees up to her chest. “Do you think they’ll make it out.”

“Kass is there. They will.” Neneria replied. First Iliyal, now Neneria. It was one thing for a mortal to treat a Divine like a… like a Divine. But Gods did not bow to Gods.

“How can you be sure?”

“Because Kass is there.” Neneria answered quickly.

“That’s it?” Helenna asked.

“That’s it.” Neneria replied then sighed. Those cold dark eyes and that alluring face turned to look down at Helenna. Neneria was taller, but now that Helenna saw Fer, minor differences like height didn’t seem to matter so much. “Why have you come here?” Oh. Helenna shrugged.

“I wanted someone to talk to.”

“Then you’ve chosen the worst there is.” Neneria replied flatly.

“You’re all there is.”

“There’s mortals about.”

“But they’re not us.”

“No. They’re not.” Neneria agreed, then went back to watching the Jungle. They sat in silence as day rose again. Eventually, Helenna simply had to speak.

“Why do you trust Kassandora so much?” Helenna asked.

“She wouldn’t have been made part of the family if we didn’t trust her.” Neneria replied.

“That wasn’t the question.”

“But it’s an answer.” Neneria replied. “I trust her because I trust her. That’s the end of it.” She smirked. “Why do people love?” Helenna had been asked this question before, countless times. She had never worked it out.

“Because they do.” That was the best answer the Goddess of Love could give.

“Same as why people die.” Neneria said. “Same as why they draw swords for war. It simply happens. Same as why I trust Kass, I simply do.”

“Really?”

“You’re talking to too old a woman to have this conversation. A millennia ago, maybe we could have had this conversation.” Neneria replied. And silence fell on them again. Helenna sat there, the Goddess of Love next to the Goddess of Death, as they silently watched the Jungle. The Clerics got to their daily trainings, Kassandora’s men had already started, the Arikans went out to hunt. Cooking fires were started, more tents were being put up, two more planes landed ferrying more Clerics from Epa or Guguo or the Union or wherever they came from. Helenna did not really care. She just wanted her friends to leave that Jungle.

“Time passes faster if we talk.” Helenna tried again.

“Time passes all the same.” Neneria replied.

“You’re not easy to talk to.”

“I get that a lot.” Neneria replied then smiled. “Fer complains about it to me.”

“She seemed sweet.” Helenna saw how the short interaction she watched between Kassandora, Fer and Neneria. Between all the shouting and hitting each other, the order-giving by Kassandora, she saw the woman smile in a way she had never smiled with them. And then Fer told her she drank too much, that was true too. There was nothing in it for Fer to say that, but she did anyway.

“She’s annoying, loud, lazy, stupid and never pays attention.” Neneria replied in a flat tone. “But you’re not allowed to say that.”

“Oh.” Helenna said. “Why?”

“Because she’s my sister, not yours.” Helenna smiled as she looked out at that Jungle. That would never fly in the White Pantheon. There, everyone complained to everyone about everyone. Love and Death spent the next few hours next to each other in silence.

“Iliyal told me something.” Helenna said quietly and Neneria sighed.

“That man, you are allowed to talk about. All of them. Daganhoff too. Daganhoff especially.” Helenna’s eyes broke from the Jungle and at Neneria. That was a reaction at least.

“The girl?” Helenna asked.

“Yes.”

“I don’t know her.” Helenna replied.

“Don’t be so high and mighty as to pretend you’re not prejudicial.” Neneria scowled. Helenna felt her lips quirk up. Why did the woman get so angry at mortals? What was there to get angry about? Mortals were simply mortals.

“I mean… she’s pretty.” Helenna said. She knew it would be annoying. She thought Neneria would get mad.

“She’s a chit who oversteps boundaries.” Neneria looked at Helenna and shook her head. “You know already, Fer spilled, of course she did, but Arascus is awake.” Helenna nodded. Honestly, once the shock wore off, there wasn’t much to think about. Arascus’ awakening did little to affect Iniri and Kavaa in that Jungle. He had sent these two because Kassandora had asked, if they were to come out, then it would all be down to Fer. Frankly, she felt as if she had a debt to the God of Pride. “We held a feast the other day. She started to put her hands all over him!” Neneria scowled. “Can you imagine that! And he did nothing about it!” Neneria swore and kicked up some red dust. She shook that black head of hair and went back to looking at the forest. “Whatever, what’s done is done. I don’t like her.”

“Oh.” Helenna said.

“What?” Neneria scowled.

“That’s…” Helenna did not how to describe it. It was refreshing. In the White Pantheon, they spent a thousand years of using roundabout ways to hint at mutual dislike. This woman went out and said it. “Well, you can’t fix that.” Helenna said.

“I thought you were Of Love.” Neneria said. “You should be good at these things.” Helenna’s mood immediately changed. She hated whenever people brought that up.

“Well I’m sorry very much!” Helenna scowled. “But what am I supposed to say? I can’t fix her for you.” Helenna realised who she was shouting at, remembered how easily Neneria could crush her, memories of the ghastly Dead Legion crossed her mind, and then shied away. “Sorry.” She said quietly and looked at Neneria. The woman was looking down at her in confusion.

“Why are you apologizing?” She asked. Helenna did not know. Why was she apologizing? She had always done so for Allasaria and Maisara and Fortia, Elassa and even Sceo. Zerus… All of them frankly. All of them save for Kavaa and Iniri. Helenna merely shrugged. Neneria shook her head and went back to looking at the Jungle.

“Don’t apologize to me. It doesn’t fit you.” Neneria sighed. “So? What did Iliyal tell you?”

“He said I should pick a side.”

“So he asked you to join ours.”

“Mmm.” Helenna replied. “And… well… I don’t know, I couldn’t give an answer.”

“If you did give him an answer, I would veto your joining.”

“Excuse me?” Helenna asked, her tone incredulous.

“It took me thirty-one years to make a decision. I am the fourth daughter-Goddess of Arascus.”

“I…” Helenna said. “I wasn’t talking about that…” To join the ranks of Arascus’ daughters? She had never even considered the idea. It crossed her mind only in dreams and nightmares. “I wouldn’t be able to do that anyway.”

“Why not?” Neneria asked. Helenna blinked. Wasn’t the answer obvious? She was only the measly Goddess of Love. How could she stand straight in the same ranks as Chaos? Or Death? Or Darkness? Or War?

“I mean…” Helenna did not know how to say it. Damn her own pride. She should just be able to come out with it… “It’s… How could I?” Hopefully Neneria got what she was hinting at.

Neneria, the Goddess of Death of all people, did understand. “You mean you’re too weak to compete with us.”

“Mmm.” Helenna gave a wordless acquiescence of a reply.

“I’m not one to talk badly about my sisters, but Fer, like I said, is stupid. Kassandora is weak. Olephia cannot speak.” Neneria stopped. “Well she can, but she doesn’t. I’m cold and hard to talk to. Iri thinks she’s the star of the show. Baalka is more annoying than Fer. Malam…” Fer laughed. “Well, you know Malam, she’s like the opposite of you, she always think she’s the smartest in the room. You’re easier to talk to all of them.”

“I meant power wise.” Helenna said quietly. Her own powers did little.

“And?” Neneria asked. “What can Kassandora do?” Helenna blinked.

“What do you mean?”

“I asked the question, what can Kassandora do?”

“Have you not seen her fight?” Helenna asked. Neneria chuckled a deathly chuckle.

“Do you think we needed another person who can just swing a sword around? Did you not see her and Fer? There isn’t a power-gap, Fer is simply in another league. And even that is nothing compared to me. To Olephia. To Irinika or to Arascus.”

“But you…” Helenna simply did not understand it. It was simply not how things worked. “You listen to her.”

“I…” Neneria gazed over the Jungle again and smiled. “I am rather dismal in planning. I cannot do what Kassandora does. So I don’t bother.”

“Oh.”

“It’s not my domain. It simply isn’t.” Neneria said and shrugged. “We leave Kassandora to what she’s good at, she leaves us to what we’re good at. Like I said at the beginning. I trust her. She trusts me.”

“Is that why you didn’t argue about going in?” Helenna asked.

“Fer said I shouldn’t, so I won’t. Fer is annoying, she’ll pinch my cheeks and rub my head, but she won’t wish me harm. If she says I can’t handle it, then I can’t.” Neneria shrugged again. “I’m not going to argue with her senses when mine aren’t anything stellar.”

Helenna turned away. She felt her eyes grow wet. It slid down her cheek. She had spent a thousand years in the Pantheon, and she had never seen this. She looked down at herself. The tips of her hair had gone from the ivory white of worry to blue. She smiled and shook them away, but the blue still remained. How could they get along like this? They were Forces and Abstracts of domains that directly encroached on each other. And yet… And yet they did. Simply and without reason. Like that trust Helenna had never felt. Trust and love unexplainable. Existing for its own sake. “Come now.” Neneria said as she put her arm around Helenna. “I don’t like watching people cry.” She pulled Helenna close into herself. “They’ll be out soon, and you’ll have your Iniri and your Kavaa back.”

Love cried into Death’s embrace and as they sat there, together, and waited for everyone to return.