The Land of Broken Roads

Dirt’s dreams were troubled, full of ferocious beasts and blood and death. Monsters of shadow fought monsters of sunlight, and Dirt kept getting tossed upward into the empty blue sky to fall for eternity. He woke several times during the night, sweating and scared, injured face aching terribly, but each time, the rhythmic vibrations reminded him that he was safe, resting comfortably under Home where nothing could get him. He reached up, ran his fingers along the rough bark until the tree’s calm became his own, and went back to sleep.

The last dream of the night stayed with him long after he woke, though. He dreamed that he couldn’t stay on the ground, that the earth would not hold his feet even though he was in the forest. Screaming in terror, he was flung helplessly across the unfathomable distance between the canopy and the ferns. Never reaching top or bottom, unable to control his flight, and all his screaming couldn’t save him.

Then the tree entered his dream—that was the only way he could describe it. The nightmare filled with senses he didn’t have, perceiving a world they were unsuited for. The tree dream and the nightmare were only superimposed for a moment before the whole thing collapsed and jolted him awake, but he remembered that moment in vivid detail for several minutes afterward.

The tree’s mind had seen him, he was certain; or perhaps, it might be more accurate to say it had seen his dream. Dirt wasn’t sure if the tree even knew he was there, or could understand him any better than he understood it.

He learned a bit, though, in that brief moment. Home didn’t have any perception of distance, not like he did. It didn’t know anything about up or down, forward or back. All it knew was the strength of its perceptions. If Dirt hadn’t seen the wolves talking in scents, he might never have realized that so much of what Home did or saw was similar. Not really smells, but something close to that. It saw the world with ten thousand tongues, noses, fingertips, all at the same time. Maybe that was the leaves? Or part of it was leaves, and some the roots or bark? If only he could understand more, like what the tree knew as sunlight or water, earth and air, he might see what it wanted to say.

He lay for a moment, trying to reach out with his mind, to talk to Home like he talked to Socks. He touched the root again, imagining himself merging and going inside, rising up the bark to find wherever the tree’s Self was centered, if it even was. Nothing came to him. No thoughts, no feelings.

-Come out, little Dirt,- sent Socks.

Dirt scrambled to his hands and knees and crawled up out of his hole. The fog still lay thick and heavy, and he couldn’t see more than ten paces in any direction.

“Socks?”

-I am almost there. I am glad you are awake because I want to hurry and go there.-

“Where are we going? Can I drink some water and eat something first?”

Without waiting for an answer, Dirt darted to a spot where he hadn’t dug for grubs yet and started tearing up the rich, black soil. The humidity brought out the scent of it even more than usual, filling his nose with that comforting, pleasant aroma. But when he smelled it, instead of just enjoying it, it just reminded him of the tree. Had it been trying to understand him? Did he get tangled up in its dreams?

He found a grub, long as his finger and squirming energetically, and only chewed it two or three times before swallowing. He frantically dug until he found another, and another, and ate those too. Then he pulled all the baby ferns he could find and swallowed them as fast as he could.

Socks’ big wet nose poked him across his whole bottom.

Dirt screamed and jumped into the air, but he was laughing by the time he hit the ground, and Socks was sending him plenty of amusement as well, in his mild way.

“I even knew you were coming! I feel silly now. I need to learn to keep a better eye out.”

-You are lucky I am not a goblin.-

“No chance. Those are too noisy. Boy! Meat! Come, Boy!” He mimicked one and stomped around.

Socks’ face couldn’t smile, but it didn’t matter, because Dirt could tell how he felt anyway. He patted him on the nose, then stepped in closer to hug him around the snout.

“Can I get just a little more water before we go?”

-There will be plenty. You can drink later.-

“Do you know where we’re going?”

-Yes.-

“Can I ask you something? Can you teach me how to hear thoughts? I can only hear the ones you send me on purpose. And I’m not sure if I can think them TO someone or not, or if you’re just always watching.”

Socks tilted his head. -You don’t know how? You are asking me how to smell with my nose, even though you have a little one of your own. You just sniff to smell, and you just—

The image that came next into Dirt’s mind gave him a mild headache. Socks simply opened a part of himself that Dirt had never known existed or even imagined, but knowing it could open now filled his bony skull with sparks. It was right there, plastered over, stuck shut, and the more he thought about it the more it ached to open but was unable.

Socks sent the image again with a little more force, and it hurt like his swollen eye did, and was closed just as tight. But right then, now that he was thinking about it, his injured eye popped open. He blinked a few times and the vision returned. It was sore and blurry and wouldn’t open the whole way, but it was still there and it still worked. Dirt tried to use that feeling to open the new part, but it wouldn’t budge.

-Silly little Dirt, like this, right here.- The giant pup raised one of his paws and tapped Dirt on the top of his head with a claw, and his mind split open with a fleshy ripping sound that he might not have imagined.

His mental world filled with countless lights, each of them a bundle of awareness, a mind. At first it was deeply disorienting, but Socks sent him more thoughts that helped him organize and sooth it.

Most of the minds were too small to even look at, but Socks stood out like a little sun. The pup was doing it on purpose, too, thinking extra loud but not directing it his way.

-Can you hear me, little human? You can, can’t you?-

“Yes! Wow…” Dirt turned in a slow circle, trying to take it all in. It felt a bit like the tree-dream; he couldn’t say where anything was. He couldn’t point and know there was a grub there or anything like that. There was a sense of distance, but no direction at all. It was a whole different world than he was used to, and trying to superimpose it on what he saw just made him dizzy.

-If you had a mother, this would have been the first thing she taught you, before you even crawled up to nurse. Don’t worry if you are still unsteady. It is something you have to work on. Even I can’t hear very well if you’re not trying to let me hear.-

The little thoughts all around him were made to fit in a world that suited what they were—ferns had fern thoughts, and trees had tree thoughts. Trees he could recognize, if only for the increasingly-familiar flavor of their incomprehensibility. It would take him a very, very long time to make sense of any of it.

“Oh! Socks, can you see goblin thoughts? Can I use this to know if any are around?”

-Of course, if you pay attention. They are like this,- thought Socks. He sent an image of primal simplicity; basic, but mostly understandable. Plans with only one or two steps. Hunger, fear, anger. This must be how Socks knew they couldn’t really understand words. He could see what was going on their minds.

Dirt could use this to survive! This was real strength—strength to live by his own power, not at the mercy of everything around him. It was only a start, and it wasn’t as good as giant claws, but it was something. He wasn’t completely helpless anymore.

He grinned, sending Socks every bit of what he was feeling, but it quickly got emotional as he started thinking how lucky he was, how incredible this new mental vision was. He might have gone his whole life without knowing.

Tears came to his eyes and a lump formed in his throat. “Thanks, Socks,” he thought, reaching up to pat the pup’s belly, since that was all he could reach.

-I thought you were thirsty but you are leaking water,- said Socks. -Just kidding. I know why you are doing that. You’re welcome. Now get on. Mother said to go play in the water. My task is to keep you alive, but that seems easy.-

That got his attention. “Now? What about the fog? Can you see where you’re going?”

-I’ll be fine. I can use a different sight when I need to. Get on.-

Socks squatted down so Dirt could climb up, and he did. The pup instantly burst into a run, so fast Dirt nearly slipped and got left behind. He giggled and held on tighter, and they were off.

Dirt couldn’t see a thing through the fog, so he tried to pay attention to all the minds as they ran. He hoped to spot Home by how it faded, since there was size but no direction, but it wasn’t the only tree they were leaving behind.

It should have been scary, going so fast without being able to see anything. But it wasn’t. If anything, it just made him aware how smoothly Socks ran. The pup’s enormous muscles pounded a rhythm beneath him that was so regular and balanced Dirt felt like he could dance and not fall off.

-Mother said we must learn how to swim,- said Socks. -She told me the place to go. The water is deep there and we will jump in and pull ourselves across. But you have to be careful, because if you do it wrong you will sink to the bottom and run out of air and die.-

“How do you do that? How do you pull yourself across?”

-Mother said it’s easy for wolves, but not for humans. She said if you can’t figure it out then you’re not smart enough.-

“I can do it!” thought Dirt, before he’d really had time to consider what that might entail. But it didn’t matter—no matter how hard it was, he would do it. He steeled himself, body and soul.

-I hope so. You are fun and no one else has a pet human.-

“Really. I can do it. Mother wouldn’t say I had to unless it was possible. If she wanted to get rid of me, she could just kill me or tell you to stop coming. Mother knows I can do it, or at least that I should be able to. So I will. And we’ll do the next thing, and the next thing, until you’re the strongest, best wolf, and I’m the strongest, best human, so we can stay friends.”

Socks kept his silence for a moment. Dirt could just barely see enough of the pup’s thoughts to know he’d never considered that Mother was that careful. -You are clever for a little baby. I am lucky I found you.-

“Oh, I’m way more lucky than you are,” said Dirt, trying for the first time to hide a thought—his next sentence.

It must have worked, because Socks turned his head briefly, which made the soft tips of his ears flap in the wind. -Why is that?-

“Because my best friend is a giant wolf who could win against anything, and yours is a little human who can’t even fight a goblin. You better keep me around so more of my luck rubs off on you.”

-The only thing of yours that rubs off on me is dirt.-

“That’s the luck. I’m covered in it.”

-Well, you won’t be after we play in the water. You won’t have any dirt left but I hope I do. If I lose my Dirt I’ll lose my luck as well.-

Socks surprised him with a mighty leap. Dirt yelped and held tight, enjoying the excitement rushing in his veins. It was uncanny in mid-air, where there was nothing to see but pale gray in every direction, even down; but then came the fall he always felt pressing against his insides.

Dirt squealed in terror that was only mostly fake, then laughed when they finally hit the ground. Socks sent his own amusement at how easy it was to please his little pet. The pup never seemed to laugh, and maybe that was just an emotion wolves didn’t have, but amusement was close enough.

Socks ran until the fog faded and disappeared into the late morning. The forest vanished behind them to reveal vast plains of deep grass that glowed a dusty yellow-green in the sunlight. The pup crossed the fields in giant leaps, since that was easier than trying to push through the grass.

They came to a dark, clear river cutting through the landscape, wide and full. It ran quickly but the surface was smooth, making it seem plenty deep. It was almost silent compared to the smaller one that Socks had him drink from yesterday. Socks stepped up to peer into it, and Dirt wondered for a moment if this was where they were stopping. But it wasn’t, and Socks turned to run alongside the river as it cut a mostly straight course across the plains.

After going a little farther, the grasses grew shorter as the landscape began the change. It was much less flat here; instead, it was dotted with small hills that were barely big enough to be lumps. Some were long and straight, but most were smaller and much more limited. Grass still hid every inch of ground, but it was short enough for Socks to run through.

The sun was a third of the way across the sky, hot and bright, before Socks stopped at their destination.

It was another place of men; Dirt knew that instantly. The deep, quiet river ended at an enormous basin, mostly square and lined with cut stone. The lip of the basin was at ground level and the river simply disappeared into it without making much sound. From one end to the other, the basin was dotted with regularly-spaced stone pillars that came up to almost exactly water level, making a path that Socks could probably jump across. They were too far for Dirt, but maybe he could swim between them once he learned how.

-Mother says this is not a real lake. This is a place that men made, and it broke a very long time ago and filled in. The real lakes nearby are shallow unless you walk way out toward their middle, and that is too much hassle so we will learn to swim right here.-

Dirt slid off without Socks lowering for him, landing perfectly. He was getting better at that. He got down on hands and knees and crawled to the lip of the basin. He carefully leaned his head over to look down into the water, making sure his arms were planted firmly so he didn’t fall in on accident.

The water was clear and deep, deep enough that even Mother might not have been able to stand up in it. The bottom was covered with broken stones, large flat ones. In between them all, sand and mud and strange plants grew, but looking at it again…

Dirt jumped up and pointed excitedly. “Socks, look. I think there was a floor here once, and it was hollow underneath, and it all crashed down and caved in. The sides of the lake where it’s flat and square must have been the walls of the room under there. It was so huge! How did little things like me make something this big?”

The giant pup silently padded over to peer in the water. -I don’t know. Maybe it took a lot of them, or maybe they could use magic.-

“Magic?” That was a word he’d never used, but it felt like a pleasant word, one he had liked before.

-I don’t know how else they would have done it. I think ten of you couldn’t lift one of those stones. Maybe human adults are stronger.-

“No, I mean, what’s magic?”

Socks sent him a puff of amusement. -One thing at a time, little Dirt. You just learned how to listen, and now you need to learn how to swim before we disappoint Mother.-

Dirt supposed that made sense. He stood and ran a short distance along the rim, growing more and more impressed with the size of the basin. What had it been? Did people walk here before?

At the far end of the basin, he noticed a mound that seemed suspiciously large, but it was quite a distance to get over there so he just peered at it from across the lake. It might have been a building once, or maybe just a little hill. It looked like there might be an opening there, under the water level where the extra water from the river drained out. If so, where was all that water going?

He looked back at the spot where the river entered the lake, and it wasn’t a small amount. It had to be going somewhere. But was it? The water atop the basin seemed so calm, he wasn’t sure it was moving at all.

“Socks, do you know where water goes? Does it all come up from the ground, and go back down?”

-Mother says the water comes from the rain.-

“What’s rain?”

-It’s when water falls from the sky. I saw it once when I was a week old. I didn’t like it.-

Dirt shot a panicked look up at the sky.

-Only when there are clouds. Thick, gray ones, not like that little white one over there. Dark ones covering the whole sky.-

“Oh. Okay. I’ll try not to stand under any clouds.”

-It’s not about where you’re standing, unless you’re standing under something to keep dry. You’ll see someday,- thought Socks. He sounded amused again. -For now, drink some water, but not too much. Then we shall swim.-