The Priest Wants to Retire

EP.107 Nursing

”I’m back~”

The space the woman stepped into, with a bright smile, was a pitch-black void where not even an inch ahead could be seen.

No response returned to the woman’s cheerful greeting, but.

Like a throng of bats in a cave suspicious of an intruder, a mass of ominous red eyes lighted up, clearly observing the woman’s movements.

”Did you kill it? Did you kill it? Did you kill it? Did you kill it?”

How many times had this murderous chant echoed?

The woman scratched her head awkwardly and muttered as if feeling guilty.

”Ah~ I’m sorry. They were tougher than I thought~ I just managed to escape holding Alphas hand~”

Thud!

Right after the woman finished speaking, a blood-soaked corpse helplessly tumbled at her feet.

”Kugh…”

Its body twisted and misaligned. Under normal circumstances, it would be impossible to say it was alive, yet still, the corpse was drawing pale breaths.

The rustling beyond the veil intensified.

Shooting glances that seemed to mock and reprimand in a relentless orchestra of nightmares, it was only when the woman raised her hand to quell them that the chaos began to calm.

”Everyone, please calm down. The original plan to assassinate the hero, the saint’s shield, has failed, but there are countless ways to torment that child.”

Suddenly, silence enveloped them. In the midst of it, the woman, regaining her composure for a moment, grinned like the Cheshire Cat.

”I’ve already planted a seed in a proper place♪”

Hiding in shadows that nobody paid attention to, crawling along the ground like cockroaches, they were once beings blessed, warmly enveloped by luminous mercy.

They could live without stealing someone’s happiness, and maintain their true selves without a heart of hatred.

But no more.

Existence. Name. Memory. Connection.

Having had every means to define themselves completely stripped away, all that remained for them was the only asset: a thirst for revenge against someone holding what they could not possess.

”Look forward to it, Welna. I’ll take everything you cherish in this world. Not a single thing will be left behind. Just like you did to us…”

◈◈◈

If we were to incinerate the word ‘attraction’ in ‘twisted charm,’ what’s left?

Right, that would just be a twist.

Feeling one’s heart flutter upon seeing a romantic interest show an unfamiliar side is quite normal.

But if you’d feel your heart racing because the local hairdresser changed her lipstick color, it’d be time to suspect early signs of heart failure.

Perhaps a tad extreme, but the impression her nursing outfit called forth from me sadly lingered at that level.

”L-Lowville? Why are you sitting so far away from me…?”

My body had begun to back away, unexpectedly glued to the window seat.

Seeing the dampness on my back, it seemed my body was sweating cold.

If we were to gauge by the duration of our acquaintance, Dawna would be the one with the closest relationship to me among the comrades.

Therefore, considering her acting unpredictably like this, it wasn’t hard to predict a danger would soon befall me.

Not an instinctive sense of crisis but rather a product of experience.

With a sea-like curiosity towards Magic Studies, and a challenge-driven spirit that couldn’t help but test everything she thought of, it was dreadful how often I’d become a guinea pig for the various magic she developed.

Tricked by her sweet talk about a spell that would let me see in the dark, when I ended up cursed for a full 30 days with glowing nipples, I had drenched my pillow with tears for three whole nights out of shame.

”Oh my! That priest’s chest! It’s as breathtakingly cool as a golem’s eye! Dawna! Cast that spell on me too! Please, I beg you!”

The innocent face of the Hero, sparkling like a child seeing a transforming robot while looking at my glowing breasts, was still vivid to this day.

If Bigtim hadn’t desperately knelt to stop the Hero and Apis hadn’t knocked Dawna out, intending to willingly use magic on the Hero, I shuddered to think of the horrific future that lay ahead.

”Your eyes don’t seem to be under any influence, but… what is your intention…?”

”What on earth are you talking about! The bright me dabbling in dependency drugs in the past was the folly of youth! The very fact that I had the same level of mental maturity as ordinary folks is something you know all too well!”

”Then why on earth are you wearing that…?”

”Naturally, it’s to nurse you back to health, considering you’re still not well! I had no idea of the details, since I was out cold until morning, but I heard you narrowly escaped death due to the surprise appearance of an assassin! Having saved your life countless times till now, isn’t it about time I returned the favor?”

”Hmm…”

Suspicious.

It seemed likely she was telling the truth about not being on drugs, but that meant Dawna was willingly wearing that risqué nursing outfit.

A tactic to lower my guard. Perhaps a form of restraint for using some new magic.

The threads of suspicion muddling my thoughts tightened rather than loosened, becoming more firm than before.

”Now, relax and entrust your body to me! I will nurse you back to health with all my heart and sincerity!”

”W-Wait! D-Don’t come closer!”

I hurriedly stopped Dawna, who was menacingly closing in on me while holding a stethoscope and a urinal.

Was it due to past trauma?

Even without consciously realizing it, my hands had timidly covered my chest.

It may not be the right time to say this, but Dawna actually pulled off that nursing outfit quite well.

The dark circles under her eyes, the black hair that gave her a pure impression, and skin so pale that her veins were visible beneath.

If Dawna’s attire was meant to embody a weary nurse, I’d say she could easily score ten out of ten.

But the passing mark was only for the appearance.

When her inner self was graded, she’d undoubtedly fail.

Dawna’s infamous cooking skills were so abysmal, it was laughable compared to our already low standards.

When the Hero mistook salt for sugar, Dawna once questioned Apis why perfume and preservatives shouldn’t go into cooking.

Thanks to that, Dawna was always treated as an exception in our party’s cooking duty rotation.

She always seemed displeased with such treatment, but we had to survive, so it was unavoidable.

”Cough!”

”Where do you think you’re going!”

I quickly tried to escape through the window, but that futile attempt was effortlessly thwarted by Dawna’s swift counter with her wand.

She vigorously swung her magically-imbued wand, and out of nowhere, ropes slithered to me and secured my limbs to the bed in an X shape.

”Dawna! Wait! Just wait a moment!”

”Patients must stay still!”

Under the crushing despair of my thoughts, the reassuring certainty began to take shape.

I could firmly declare this.

This woman clearly intended to use me as a test subject for new magic again.

I thought things had calmed down a bit. Oops.

What was it this time?

The last magic I was subjected to had turned my body into a frog.

Please, not again…

Thud.

Just then.

Having completely lost my freedom, all I could do was anticipate the terrifying future that awaited me.

”D-Dawna?”

Dawna boldly sat atop my abdomen and slowly began to unbutton my shirt.

The overwhelming embarrassment made my gaze shake uncontrollably, and what I belatedly caught sight of was so shocking I couldn’t contain my horror.

Her usual nonchalant demeanor vanished, replaced by a sorrowful figure with a face redder than a ripe tomato, on the verge of crying.

”Heeek!”

I could hear her stuttering hiccups now and then.

Did she really eat something bad?
“`