The Priest Wants to Retire

EP.204 Spouse

Fortunately, the misunderstanding caused by my reckless remark was quickly cleared up.

When Lulu and Ria shouted that they had gotten a new dad and I saw the signs of reason gradually fading from my senior’s eyes, I momentarily prepared for death.

But thanks to Madam, who perfectly mediated the chaos that entered at a perfect moment, we managed to avoid the crisis without a single casualty.

“Right, I did say the honeymoon room happened to be empty the other day. I also told you not to hesitate to ask for help. But if you say it in that order, I have no justification to raise a fist against you.”

“I’m sorry… I actually realized that myself right after saying it…”

I’ve never felt the importance of my usual conduct as much as I did at this moment.

If my past actions had been even slightly untrustworthy, the last words that would have been chewed out from my mouth would have been that ridiculous NTR declaration.

“Don’t be too harsh, husband. You know better than anyone that a weak human isn’t made for that. And more bad words aren’t good for prenatal education either.”

“Sigh… I know that… I do, so please stop poking me with your horns, Evan.”

Seeing me cowering at my senior’s command probably made Madam feel quite sorry for me.

In an attempt to help, she poked her husband on the head with her horns.

“Thank you, Madam. And I must say again, I’m truly sorry…”

“Don’t worry about it, weak human. My husband and I have exchanged various favors with you multiple times, so we’re basically compatriots. Compatriots don’t apologize over such trivial matters.”

“Yes…”

The term weak human that Madam attached to her sentences referred to me.

Due to her unique background, Madam could only distinguish the traits of humans by their strength and weakness, aside from her husband, senior Haren.

According to senior Haren, in her youth, Madam referred to most humans as ‘vermin’ or ‘inferior species’.

This title of “weak human” she used for me was said to be quite a generous expression for her.

“So what’s the matter, weak human? I hope you tell me directly if there’s something important. My husband and I are busy preparing for our fourth child.”

“…My dear?”

That stern declaration muttered with a blank expression sent my senior’s face from a casual expression to a ghostly pale one in an instant.

Unlike the noticeably growing children, Madam’s appearance hadn’t changed much.

Her noble silver hair, woven as if spun from the brilliant moonlight, remained perfectly neat around her nape, yet was breathtakingly elegant.

Her horns, reminiscent of a goat’s but of a size that was incomparable, showcased overwhelming magnificence without ruining her beauty at all.

Though she wore glasses, it wasn’t to assist her vision, but to conceal her sharp vertical pupils.

Once a notorious dragon that rampaged throughout the system, the brutal creature.

Evan.

The scene of that cruel being falling in love with a human man and becoming a peaceful family’s mother was awe-inspiring every time.

“Well…”

“Uncle! If you don’t like the new dad, let’s marry Lulu! Let’s marry Lulu and live together forever!”

“No way! Uncle Regis will marry Ria!”

Just when I was about to open my mouth again. I was once again interrupted.

You could tell they were twins.

No matter how much they babbled, their actions matched so precisely.

“I-I’m sorry, Lulu. Ria. Uncle is quite busy right now, so can we talk later?”

“No! Last time! You promised you’d play with us until dawn! Let’s play house! Lulu is the mom!”

“No! Ria is the mom! Lulu, you be the puppy!”

With both sides compelling me, my body was jostled like a metronome, ticking left and right incessantly.

Thanks to my experiences with the hero and saintess, I thought I had gotten used to this kind of torment to some extent.

But this naive whining was a different kind of overwhelming.

“Lulu! Ria! Didn’t Dad tell you not to interrupt when the adults are talking?”

“Lulu. Ria. Or else the spanking…”

It was just then.

The couple, who seemed to just try to stop their daughters’ fussing, suddenly twisted their eyes anxiously toward my back.

“…!?”

The gaze of my senior, who hurriedly stood up with a flustered demeanor, became frantic in an instant.

But Madam’s gaze, looking in the same direction, remained as calm as a tranquil lake.

“Calm down, strong human. The children have no breeding urges towards the weak human. It’s just something they are saying.”

Strong human. That surely was the term Madam used to refer to ‘her’.

Turning my head slowly, resignedly, at the dismayed feeling, I found the hero and saintess looking at the children, who were in a tug of war over my body, with fierce gazes.

“…”

“…”

Neither said a word, but honestly, that was even scarier.

It seemed Lulu and Ria felt the same, as they trembled like rain-soaked puppies, digging deeper into me than before.

“Eep, eep─!?”

“It’s a g-g-g-ghost─!!”

Though Lulu and Ria instinctively pressed against me, they were oblivious to how their actions were actually spurring their impulses.

It was understandable that the saintess would be frightened since it was our first meeting, but seeing the hero in such a panic after meeting me a few times made me realize how terrifying this was to them.

“Hero… Saintess… We promised we would wait quietly outside until the story was finished…”

I had earnestly begged them to do just that.

Seeing their innocent remarks eliciting such sharp reactions from them filled me with bewilderment at their affection.

“We were all listening patiently outside! If it’s play house, I can’t be left out! Of course, it is essential for a hero! One must always do their best, even in the games of children! Please leave the role of mom to me!”

“I’m the mom. The puppy can be the puppy.”

Seeing the saintess and hero, who carry the fate of the world, arguing over roles in a child’s playhouse was, in many ways, astral.

It was needless to say about my senior, a regular person.

Even Madam, who had lived through countless tempests of life, appeared puzzled, constantly tilting her head as if trying to decode the surreal scene before her.

“What the heck is this…”

With those soft words spoken by senior, the serene house was instantly filled with noise.

“Hey! Hero! Didn’t we say we wouldn’t go in until you gave the signal? Hurry up and come out while the getting is good!”

“Ah, no! Welna! The priest is in the middle of speaking right now!”

Right after, Apis came in, followed by the sister, who entered the room one after another.

No matter how much the priest had joined the fray, it seemed that Apis alone couldn’t hold back the two.

In normal situations, Bigtim would have joined in to buy some time, but…

It was unlucky that the venue was senior Haren’s house.

It was to be expected.

Normally, Bigtim would be the most sensible among the hero party.

But in this space, more precisely, within the space where Madam Evan was, he was a shipwreck.

“E-Evan, it’s been a long, long time, even a-a-a long… It’s been… Are you doing well,..I mean, were you well?…”

Bigtim, wearing a suit, walked in with a bouquet that seemed to be as big as a house, his face reddened like a tomato.

He kept stuttering, but his voice was much clearer than usual.

“Hey! Bigtim! What are you doing? Get out here too!”

I now noticed that hanging from Bigtim’s waist was Apis, her anger written all over her face.

Ah, I see. Senior’s vigilance had lessened while trying to restrain Bigtim.

Well, there was nothing else to do.

“What the hell is this mess? I need an explanation urgently. Weak human.”

“Hah, haha…”

Thanks to Madam’s cold statement, my consciousness, which was about to black out momentarily, was vividly restored.

◈◈◈

“So that’s how it went… Alright, sounds good. I’ll cooperate…”

“Really? I-I mean, really…?”

“Of course I’m serious. And even if I refuse, Evan here will try to help you on her own. My wife may look like that, but she has a troublesome personality that can’t help but take care of someone she takes a liking to.”

“Ahahaha…”

How long did our lengthy conversation, laced with side drinks, last?

Senior willingly accepted our absurd proposal far more readily than I expected.

“By the way, trying to charm a future hero when they were just a baby, and now trying to woo the saintess? You really are some kind of insane nut, huh? Wouldn’t you say?”

“Is that coming from you, senior? Which crazy person would tend to an injured dragon with all their heart, abandon their job and family, and even think to make her their wife?”

“…True.”

“Puhaha!”

Clink!

As we scratched each other’s sore spots with words, we cheerfully clinked the glasses in our hands.

Downing drinks while sharing self-deprecating laments had been something we’d done often before.

But just having someone right next to me to listen and poke fun at such laments was strangely comforting.

“Senior, you’re just as you are. I heard you sold me out to the nun saying you were blackmailed over retirement pay. Do you have any idea how much I suffered because of that?”

“Hey! It’s blackmail with retirement pay! How could I not say anything about it! I have three kids! Soon it’ll be four! You saw what my wife was like! She was rubbing my thighs right in the middle of speaking!”

“Hmm…”

I couldn’t think of any adequate rebuttal for that.

If that’s the case, it sounds like sufficient grounds for betrayal.

Suddenly, such a thought crossed my mind.

Clink!

“Puhah! Well, that was half a joke, and in truth, there was another motive.”

“Meaning half of it wasn’t a joke?”

“Anyway, you men are quite strict…”

Swoosh.

In a rush to gloss over my retort, senior hurriedly emptied the glass, whereupon I slyly refilled it.

“Evan! Even if it’s long after your husband passes, please! Marry me!”

“I refuse.”

“Kyaaaaaaaaa!—!!!”

The sorrowful wail from behind arose for a moment, but neither my nor senior’s expressions showed a trace of agitation.

This was now a total of 87 times Bigtim had proposed to Madam Evan only to have his hopes dashed.

At first, it was shocking. But now it wasn’t that big of a deal anymore.

“I heard that guy’s first love was a beastman widow next door. Could it be he has a certain type?”

“Hmm…”

I tried to deny it for the sake of Bigtim’s honor, yet for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do so.

“By the way, what exactly did you mean by ‘another motive’?”

I decided to quickly change the subject.

Senior seemed to have noticed my intention to some extent, but he didn’t pry further.

“Hey, you too. It’s about time…”