The Punishment of A Demon General

"Yeaaah... I kinda get a teeny bit aggressive when it comes to 'competition' in general, not just battle." I can smell her attempt at understatement from a mile away with the way she said 'a teeny bit'.

Frankly, I'm still surprised how friendly a human is being to an 'enemy'. Perhaps she understands that I'll be taking her with me later when I escape? "Mm, I know what you mean. When it comes to fighting it can be really satisfying to just rip through people, though I'm mostly someone who makes enemies rip through each other.

"... Yeah, I noticed that in the last battle." I can see her brow furrowing in pain.Was that not a good topic? I mean, it's not like she died, so what's the problem?

"To be completely honest, I don't like you. The heroine says 'she physically can't help it because she's a demon' and 'I'm working on it' or 'she's a victim as much as anyone else', but I really can't stand someone who killed so many people." Hm, why do I feel like I just heard something incredibly important?

Oh well, now I'm even more curious as to why she bothered accepting guiding me in the first place if she doesn't like me. "Is this some sort of plan to get me alone then and murder me then?" I tilt my head to punctuate the curiosity in my remark.

"You're apart of the heroine's harem now, so your status is higher than mine for one... For two, I want to see if I can really tolerate this course of action." I noticed that when she's not around the heroine she stops calling her 'Lady Heroine' like most. Ooh, does she secretly hate the heroine?

"Oh? Do you hate the heroine for doing this? Bringing a horrific murderer into the harem with absolutely no consequences to either the murderer or herself?" I don't like that I have to call myself part of her harem, but the conversation is more interesting this way.

Oh, she looks even more annoyed, that's kinda hot! "I don't hate the heroine, I can't hate the heroine. 'She is the savior of our peoples, and the only way we can survive the contest of battles between the demons and humans.' Annoying as she is, I'm here to serve her, I don't gotta agree with her decisions." That middle sentence sounded a bit like she was reciting it from elsewhere.

"I mean, if you don't like the heroine then what's the problem with just joining demons?" I may as well get a little bit of a recruitment drive going. She very much seemed to put emphasis on the fact she doesn't 'hate' her, but that doesn't mean she likes her. I don't trust the heroine's good intentions enough to not have backups.

"Everything is the problem with that! Demons are literally the worst things in existence, and there are absolutely no redeeming qualities about them, you included," she shoots at me.

Whoa, hostile much! I can feel her amber eyes trying to drill into me with how unhappy she is. This is the second time the heroine has introduced me to people who hate me, and I'm starting to think this is a pattern.

I don't really get it. I'm really lovable and quick to adapt to interacting with humans despite them being silly and weird. "I mean, there really isn't much difference between humans and demons besides you all being super awkward talking to people about normal topics. Humans kill demons, demons kill demons. Humans kill humans, demons kill humans, isn't that basically the same thing?"

I finally managed to get her to stop looking at me like she wanted to twist my neck, though I'm not sure her looking at me in utter disbelief is any better. I mean, I didn't say anything wrong, did I?

"We don't constantly invade other territories to pillage, murder, and rape! We don't force people to kill a dozen of their allies and make them live with it for the rest of their lives! You all are the reason war crimes exist in the first place!" This fiery redhead seems to be getting even more worked up now.

I don't get the point of a war crime anyway. Isn't the entire point of war to cause as much chaos as possible and win? Adding 'crimes' to it sounds kind of stupid. I shake my head of this thought, humans are just weird, it's best not to try and apply logic to them. "So what? We do the same thing to demons too. It's just survival of the fittest, nothing personal, so no need to get so worked up over it."

I'm not really one to talk because I'd get annoyed whenever assholes try to overthrow me, but that's my privilege because I'm better than them anyway.

"You..." I see she's been rendered speechless by my flawless argument. Perhaps she is amenable to logic given her response? Oh, she's talking again! "If I ever see you even think about trying any funny business like that, harem or not I'll take you down with me."

Oh, she really is a demon! I'm glad we've worked out our differences in favor of mutual destruction. She sounds like Wrath right now and she's my bestie, so. "I'm glad we could see eye to eye!" I say with a bright smile. This is a lot more comfortable than these weird human friendships.

+Part of me wonders if Wrath was the reason you're so socially awkward...+

(Demons go by the 'being hated by someone means you're still living in their head rent free, and makes them more predictable.' Being liked by someone makes them unpredictable.)

+So, I was 'living in your head rent free' back then?+

(If I denied that, I would just look even more shameful, so yes.)

+So you liked me the way demons usually like each other? Aw, that's cute.+

(I mean, there are demons who can get around to trusting each other but generally it's lust demons who find each other really good in bed, envy who hate everyone else together, and occasionally hate-fuck, pride who boost each others pride, sloth who just chill... The other three though generally will always hate others of their kind, though.)

+Huh... So because I'm really good in bed you liked me?+

(No. You do realize we'd only had one sexual encounter at this point, and you kind of tried to shatter my ego with it, right?)

+I didn't try to shatter your ego! I succeeded for a while there.+

(Nuh uh.)

+Yuh huh.+

She looks at me, completely baffled. I know right? I'd be baffled too if I were friends with a beauty like me, I'm so amazing. I continue to follow her with a smug grin. Oh right, weren't we supposed to be doing something? Oh! Tour.

"Aren't tour guides supposed to like... describe areas?" I tilt my head. The books I read were written by unreliable heroes, so she can't really blame me if I'm wrong.

+You really just hate to admit you're a hero weeaboo.+

(Am not.)

+How many times so far have you mentioned reading hero stories again?+

(Dunno.)

+Is it because you dunno, or you lost count?+

(Shush.)

"... Right, tour." She sighs, looking exhausted for some reason after listening to me. I know, my beauty really can be fatiguing if you aren't used to it. "Like I said, this place is in a grid pattern so if you just mark each area in your head by column and row you can get there eventually. There's a ton of bedrooms, a couple ballrooms... Yes, the ballrooms are stored in the balls. Three barracks, one on each side, and one in the shaft.. There's a belltower in the head of the shaft if you feel like getting a good view of the area. There are marked public bathrooms in a bunch of spaces... Spaces outside vary from gardens, to training grounds, to picnic areas... All of which are also arranged in a grid."

She takes a deep breath, looking annoyed for some reason, but I shrug it off like a polite demon. "And that's it, tour complete."

"... Aren't tour guides supposed to show the areas, not just describe them?" I wonder if she just isn't all that bright, it would make sense given everything. Sorry, Killa, some people are just meatheads only built for combat.

"... Why in the holy heavens are you looking at me like I'm the problem here? It's not my job to take care of you. I volunteered to be a tour guide, it doesn't mean I have to stick it through. Go, get lost for all I care." Oh, looks like I hit a sensitive area. As much as I love hitting sensitive areas, perhaps that wouldn't be best, I don't want to have to spend an hour walking to my room again.

Not that it would take an hour, mind you, I know this place like the back of my hand now! I just don't want her to lose her reputation for not following through on her promises. "My room is an important destination for any tour of this place, so if you guide me to it, I suppose I'll let you off for not keeping your promises."

She opens and closes her mouth a few times, trying to think of something to say. I really am the most kind and beautiful demon, she can't even find words to thank me for protecting her reputation.

"... Let's go." I see her eyes look like a dead fish as she speaks and turns away, starting to head in the direction of my room. A direction I definitely was sure of when I had asked her to guide me.

I have to jog every once in a while to keep up to her. She's quite the skilled power walker! I hum a bit while I'm lead along, getting lost in my thoughts as usual, my gaze just locked onto following the red hair.

Room, get! New bed... Already get! That was fast. I use the bell in my room to call for lunch the moment I get there, turning around to ask the red head if she would like to stay and eat as well.

Where'd she go?

+I had to apologize to 'Killa' after that. I didn't expect Ilvia to be THAT bad at communicating with people.+

(You know how to apologize?)

+... I literally apologized to you a couple chapters ago.+

(Oh, right, you did. I just forgot because you never seem remorseful.)

+You're painting me like I'm some sort of deranged lunatic!+

(Sorry, I can only paint with what colors you give me, and those colors are 'black' for your heart.)

+Why are you saying sorry and insulting me at the same time?!+

Author's Note:

War crimes are only war crimes when committed during wartime.

Unfortunately for Ilvia, demons and humans are always at war.