The Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer

I was no stranger to vast corridors. 

Granted, a magical library was a quaint sight. But having yawned my way through the halls of lordly estates and the great vestibule of Reitzlake Cathedral, it would take more than endless corridors to earn my acknowledgement. 

And so it proved as I brushed my fingertip against a row of spines. 

I briefly paused as a spine jutted 2 millimetres from its section … and smiled.

Sloppy.

Ohohoho!

Yet again, the Royal Villa was a beacon of standards. For as frightful as a dragon was, it was little against the demands of my family! 

I glowed with pride. 

Our library was somewhat smaller, yes … in fact, it clearly needed expanding. But that didn’t detract from the care and diligence it took to ensure our own books were immaculately presented.

Why, even when I accidentally knocked over the poetry anthologies I’d written when I was 7, they remained resolutely stuck in place. Those that I did manage to accidentally remove with a pair of kitchen tongs would magically reappear the next day, rescued from the burning hearths they also accidentally fell in while carried in the diligent arms of my father.

Thus, I held my head high as Coppelia led me through the corridors.

And then I was forced to hold it higher … and higher … and higher.

“Okay!” she said, stopping before a vast door of white marble fit enough to swallow a temple. “We’re here now! This is where the big guy snores.”

I raised an eyebrow … just as I also raised myself to my toes.

Here, the bookshelves no longer made up the walls. 

It was carved stone, etched with words in a script I had no knowledge of. And the greatest was on a door so high I had to crane my neck like an ostrich just to judge it. Pure marble with just a hint of natural weatheredness, somewhat spoiled by a great gash splitting the centre.

“The entrance to a dragon’s lair,” I mused as I studied the damage. “And it seems someone was too eager to rescue me.”

“That’s our fault. I don’t think we had a sign saying no princess was inside.”

Coppelia pondered for a moment, then looked at me.

“Want me to … ?”

“No, thank you.” I shook my head. “A time will come where I’m forced to visit a dragon’s lair against my will. Or rather, more against my will. Until then, I refuse to accept that my first experience is so lackadaisical. I haven’t even screamed once. That’s almost disappointing.”

I paused.

“But not because I practised my gentle screaming or anything,” I said, idly shooing a nearby crab away.

Coppelia giggled–just as she reached for the doors.

“You never know, there’s still time~”

Brumumumum.

The doors rumbled as she pushed the doors open.

And then–I promptly held my hair in place as a draft instantly struck me. 

Whatever I expected, it wasn’t quite this.

Great shafts of sunlight poured through a chasm in the ceiling, highlighting a cavern as wide as a quarry. One that hadn’t been chiselled, but clawed and melted. Dark spots covered the walls where they had been met with flames so great many of the surfaces still emitted smoke.

A truly dangerous place. And not just for intruders. For the treasures held here were not beds of gold, gemstones or armoires filled with everyday attire for a princess. 

It was books. 

An enormous quantity lay before me, almost rivalling the amount found in the main library chamber.

A veritable hoard in its own right, books littered every inch of the cavern like the socks which didn’t exist in my bedroom. Amidst them were fallen bookshelves, lying like open chests buried beneath piles of gold. And claiming it all was a single treasure hunter.

A pretty girl with long, wavy pink hair and bright emerald eyes.

Wading through the disorganisation, she was valiantly making an effort at collecting the strewn books.

No older than I was, she wore a frilled pinafore dress, its appearance halfway between a book vendor and a maid’s uniform. Yet despite the wildly luminous nature of her hair and the uniqueness of her attire, it was the large golden key at her back which first drew the eye.

The second would be the bundle of books she carried like a circus performer wielding a stack of plates. A skill my couriers could learn to adopt.

“Ow ow ow ow owow.”

At least until the heap collapsed, sending her buried amidst a fresh wave of invaluable tomes.

Coppelia smiled brightly.

“That’s Fleur,” she said, pointing and not helping as the girl’s hand pitifully broke through the layer of books. “She’s the librarian you heard through my thingy.”

I watched as the girl struggled to crawl out as if buried in sand. 

For a moment, she almost seemed to break free … only for the books to give way beneath her knees.  Then, all I saw was the pink outline representing the top of her freshly buried head.

“She has rather colourful hair,” I said simply.

“Yeah.”

“... Would that be the reason she’s a librarian and you’re an assistant librarian?”

“Nah, she’s a librarian because she does stuff like look after the big guy’s books while he’s been kidnapped. You might think it’s a mess. And that’s because it is. But it’s his mess. He’ll be grumpy when he gets back. Oh boy, you don’t want to see what a grumpy dragon looks like.”

“Please. I’m a princess. It’s impossible for me to see a grumpy dragon. Either they’re overwhelmed at my company or they’re overwhelmed that I’ve rescued them. Your dragon may experience both.”

Coppelia giggled, then pointed at the quivering bed of pink hair.

“In that case, you need to ask Fleur for the details.”

“She looks like she’s busy being in distress … could you not simply relay the details to me instead?”

“If I knew the details, sure.”

“Excuse me? Have you not already spoken with this girl?”

“Hey, I’ve been busy! I had to forage for those blueberries, you know!”

I paused … and then nodded.

“Understandable. Let’s see to this dragon business, then.”

“Yay~”

Coppelia’s enthusiasm prodded me towards the other clockwork doll. One who was now gasping as she finally broke free of her parchment prison.

I sincerely hoped I wouldn’t replace her.

My stride became a wade as tomes larger than my arms could carry reached up to my knees. I used them as steps instead, helped occasionally by Coppelia’s palms as she kept me upright. As I hopped across the slabs, the pink haired girl finally regained enough of her balance to find her footing.

She looked up as I approached, her eyes widening appropriately … even if it was mostly towards Coppelia. I caught her attention with a final skip towards her. And also a cough.

“Salutations, clockwork doll.” I placed my hand upon my chest, offering a gentle smile in the name of first impressions. “My loyal handmaiden and not your assistant librarian informs me that you can be useful. I require information to ensure my visit is as brief and painless as possible. I believe you have a missing dragon. Please point me the correct way so I can extort him after rescuing him.”

The girl stared at me.

Then, she turned her attention to Coppelia, who responded with a typical smile and a wave.

“Hi there! I’m back! And look, I brought a–”

“Cooppeeeliiiaaaa!”

The pink haired girl promptly assaulted my handmaiden with a wild lunge at her legs.

Like a fruit slime tackling a shin, she threw her arms around Coppelia’s ankles and anchored herself squarely down upon her knees. Globs of fat tears fell down her cheeks as she peered up, all the while ignoring the gathering hole of books slowly collapsing under their combined weight.

I was horrified.

Why … there was a clear social hierarchy here! Before one could throw themselves pitifully at the feet of my retainers, they first had to do it with me!

“E-Excuse me!” I said, trying to catch the bawling girl’s attention with a wave. “Please remove yourself from my loyal handmaiden’s ankles at once! It is extremely inappropriate to–”

“Coopppeeeliiiaaa!! It’s awful!! It’s been absolutely awful!!”

“Ahahaha~ I know, I know. Everything’s awful when I’m not there. Do you know why that is? It’s because I’m amazing.”

“No, you don’t understand! The master has only been gone for one night and everything is already falling apart!”

“Now that’s just exaggerating. I did a quick look just now. Nobody is murdering each other, the books haven’t grown sentient and started eating us and I only saw one mysteriously unidentified charred figure. How many hours has it been? 4? 5? … That’s great!”

“It only looks that way! Without the master here, we’ve no way to conjure more cheese!”

Suddenly, Coppelia’s expression turned serious.

I, on the other hand, tapped at my ears.

I was going to be doing that a lot, wasn’t I?

“Really?” asked Coppelia, her tone earnest. “Is it all the cheese?”

“No, not yet … but the gorgonzola was already low, and now it’s almost run out! Even if we stop issuing new visitor passes, we don’t have enough for the mages still due to visit!”

“Hmm, that’s bad. It’s the ones who like gorgonzola you need to watch out for. They’re always the most defensive about it. But no worries! I’ll make sure to bring all the wedges back!”

Then, Coppelia gestured towards me with a beaming smile.

“Or rather, she will~”

Hearing my cue, I took to the stage. 

Standing with a posture that could look down on more heads than existed in my kingdom, I offered a proud smile as I permitted my angelic aura to flick away the darkness enshrouding this bawling girl’s clockwork heart.

“Indeed, I have heard the echoing of your woe. The dragon who presides over this mysterious library … and apparently, dairy as well, has been cruelly abducted in the night. Although I do not know the details, I wish for you to understand that I will strive to ensure he is returned safe and sound, drawing from him the maximum compensation for my time as possible.”

The girl blinked.

The next moment, she ceased to cling around Coppelia’s ankles. Jumping to her feet, she immediately bowed several times. 

Such was the depth of the hole she was in, her forehead almost reached my boots.

“That’s … That’s wonderful! Thank you, both of you, for coming at such short notice! Coppelia, I can’t believe you returned! And with a guest as well!”

Her bows turned to nods as she looked up, her eyes practically glittering.

“You must truly be talented. Excuse me for asking, but do you have experience in rescuing dragons?”

“No, but I have experience in fixing everything. And this falls under everything.”

“In that case, I knew it was right to tell Coppelia what happened! To arrive so fast and already find the services of a heroine! No matter what the master says, she is not slovenly at all!”

“–Ahaha, he doesn’t actually say that … does he?”

The pink haired librarian looked me up and down, assessing me in a way few eyes could. 

After a moment, her excitement turned to puzzlement as she realised that no heroine boasted an aura as regal as mine. I might be able to hide my identity, but not my calling.

“... My apologies, but my information regarding Ouzelia’s heroines are 74 hours out of date. May I ask whose jurisdiction you fall under?”

“None.”

“Excuse me?”

“I am no heroine. In fact, please never call me that. No amount of soap can wash such an accusation away. I am a visitor from afar and an angel from even farther. And while lacking my wings, I shall find this missing dragon of yours nonetheless.”

Forgetting to turn her puzzlement back into excitement, the girl turned to Coppelia. 

As did I. 

Expertly communicating with my eyes, I blinked repeatedly to caution her against giving away my royal identity in this foreign land. She clapped her hands in understanding.

“... She’s an adventurer! I brought her with me!”

I let out a wince as the jab cleanly struck.

Seeing my reaction, Coppelia tilted her head quizzically. She then turned to her fellow clockwork doll with a renewed smile.

“She’s an A-rank adventurer!”

I took a step back, almost falling over against the weight of the mental strike.

“An A-rank adventurer?” queried the librarian, her eyes as uncertain as they should be. “One that you brought with you?”

“Mmh~ all the way from the Kingdom of Tirea. She offered to help find the big guy.”

The other librarian merely blinked.

For a moment, she did nothing but join me in wondering why Coppelia would call me an adventurer and not simply a mysterious, delicate and beautiful maiden from afar. Her cogs spun so loud I could practically hear them.

And then–

“I … I see!” she said with a clap of her hands. “That is … well, that is a bit unorthodox. Ouzelia doesn’t have adventurers in the formalised sense that exists elsewhere. But … But if you’ve answered the call for help, the library will happily accept any and all assistance!”

I held back a groan as I reminded myself why I was here.

Tragic as it was that my first impression was as anything less than a princess, this was no formal excursion. I needed to rescue a dragon, exploit him for it and then return to my kingdom where I could pretend every moment I spent here wasn’t a diplomatic faux pas.

It was time to go straight to the heart of the matter. 

“The dragon, if you would. Please explain in five words or fewer how he came to be kidnapped, who took him and where he is now.”

The librarian blinked.

“I don’t know.”

Hmm.

Maybe I needed to request she use the entire 5 word allotment. Even with my famed powers of deduction, this was something lacking in clues.

“Is … Is that it?”

“That’s it.”

“Were the … mandrake alarms not triggered?”

The librarian nodded.

“They were. But it wasn’t until later that we realised it was a ploy. We were so focused on defending our books from theft that we didn’t imagine the target was not the library, but rather its curator.”

She gave a sigh, her shoulders drooping as she looked forlornly around her.

“Virudaax the Learned. An ancient green dragon whose heart lies not in gold, but in wisdom. Before dawn came, the door to his chamber was split. And then he was gone, leaving not even a bookmark behind in his most recent book. He will be most aggrieved by that.”

I frowned as I peered up at the chasm above.

“Frankly, unless this dragon was hoisted by an even bigger dragon, I see little that could kidnap him.”

“That’s because it’s true. As an ancient green dragon, the master is not only very large, but shielded in potent magic. An extremely powerful adversary must be responsible. And as of now, we’ve little idea who. The golems didn’t see anyone in the night.”

“I see … and so where am I to find this mysteriously vanished dragon, then?”

“You don’t.”

“Excuse me?”

“You need to find an official hero or heroine.”

“Why? I have no luggage that needs carrying.”

“Um … it’s not to carry luggage. But to find the master. Our heroes are gifted with senses, guidance and luck that the rest of us don’t have. Once you find one, they will do the rest.”

Ugh.

And so the eye rolling began. Of course I wouldn’t survive this ordeal without groaning at least a dozen times in succession.

“An insufferable hero as a dragon hound. Fine. But what do you mean by … do the rest?”

The librarian blinked.

“Well, your part would be done. Once you inform a hero of this issue, they will see it solved.”

I nodded in understanding.

“Unacceptable.”

“Huh?”

“I did not come all this way from the fair fields of my kingdom just to act as an errand girl. If a hero wishes to assist me with directions, then I may consider it. But I require this Vir …”

“Virudaax the Learned.”

“–The big guy.”

“Yes, him. I require the big guy to be in my debt. It’s not necessary, but it will make the process of extortion smoother. I shall be the one to rescue this dragon.” 

The librarian stared at me. 

She turned to Coppelia, who only whistled in support.

“I … see? Your enthusiasm is really quite … something! And I do really appreciate it! But it really isn’t necessary to do more. When it comes to the tales of heroes, the rest of us are simply background pieces.”

A moment of silence passed.

And then–

“Ohoho …”

The librarian leaned slightly away. She should be appreciating every moment. 

After all, this was my first laugh beyond my kingdom’s borders. And she was my first recipient.

“Ohohoho … ohhohohohohoho … ohhohohohohohohoho!!”

I raised my hand to my lips, barely covering my smile.

As two clockwork dolls exchanged vastly differing expressions, it was all I could do to keep my amusement in check. A poor way to shape my first impressions. 

But then again, I could hardly allow a jest to go unrewarded.

A background piece?

Me?

Please. That would imply that Ouzelia was even a new play. It wasn’t. Until the Royal Treasury was overflowing with taxable income and I was rolling in my orchard, this was still the same act. 

And I was more than just its leading figure.

I was a princess. And where I went, I took the very stage with me. 

My role never changed. Only the scenery did. And that included the props along the way.

Thus, I offered a beautiful smile as I turned on the spot.

“Very well … let’s find us a hero, shall we?”

I began to walk away, basking in the quiet admiration that followed.

Then, I paused and peeked behind.

“... Where is the exit?”