NOVEL SIMPLE Chapter 11
Disclaimer: If you recognise it, surprise, I don't own it.
Chapter 11– Book Signing.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to Mr Gilderoy Lockhart." As soon as I hear those words, I move the curtain out of the way and walk through the doorway and onto the stage to see a gaggle of witches and wizards absolutely crowding up the inside of Flourish and Blotts, as it is Friday and the day of my book release and my signing event.
Over the past few days, I have acclimatised to the wizarding world quite well, partly because of my memories from old Gilderoy and also because I am so in awe of all the magic in everything that surrounds me. I don't have time to be scared or closed off from it because I want to learn and devour as much of it as I possibly can.
I have gone out and explored almost all of Diagon Alley in the last few days, visiting various shops that were all just so bizarre and random, such as a shop just for magical lanterns and a shop for random magical odds and ends. There was even a magical playground right near Ollivanders. I guess even magical mothers get tired of their kids. But boy, does that playground look fun. The magical swings and stuff look like bundles of fun.
Bizarrely the oddest shop, or maybe not the oddest, but the shop I least expected was a magical money lender, or better known as magical loan sharks, that had an office called GalloLoans, but I shouldn't have been surprised. People are inherently greedy, even magical people, so it makes sense that there would be loan sharks in the wizarding world as well. Since Purebloods are hard to have as clients given their financial wealth, then muggle-borns will obviously be the main targets.
Either way, it wasn't my problem if people were going to be idiots. But, if anything, I have to respect the people in that office a bit, given that they saw an opportunity and an untapped market, in this case being new poor muggle-borns that would need financial support and would prove to be suckers.
Just get them under a contract, and they will be spending the rest of their magical lives working to pay you, living breathing magical cash cows, not a respectable business but a profitable one, and that is really the only thing that matters these days.
Over these past few days, I have been exploring the alley like there was no tomorrow, and I did plan to go explore other places like Hogsmeade and Godric's Hollow. But there was so much to do and see here in Diagon Alley that I never actually got around to it. Even old Gilderoy didn't know about ninety percent of these shops since he usually stuck to the popular fancy shops, but each and every shop here has something special about it that is unique to it.
But even with all the excitement and fun I was having, I could not rid myself of the nervousness that was plaguing me. I was anxious about this very day because this was the day I signed various witches' and wizards' books and finally revealed myself, the new and improved Gilderoy Lockhart, to the world.
This entire time I have been wandering around and exploring this new world without actually revealing my natural face. Instead, using extensive charm work to disguise my appearance, I have been running around as a completely different face with no one distracting or bugging me.
To be honest, I was making the most of this time before I had to be at the book signing because after I showed my face as Gilderoy Lockhart, there would be no turning back. I will live the rest of my life as Gilderoy Lockhart. It will be who I am. I will have to deal with all the crap Gilderoy left unfinished and all the people he had relationships with, good and bad.
So today, here I am because no matter how you cut it, I am Gilderoy Lockhart. There is no running away from that fact. I have his body, I have his face, I have his memories and everything else that he owned. It all belongs to me. I am all Gilderoy Lockhart was, is, and ever will be, but when I look out at all those faces staring up at me with love and adoration, I stall.
"Uh, Mr Lockhart, are you okay?" The announcer looked at me and asked with concern on his face, which was because I had just pushed the curtain out of the way and walked onto the stage, and the minute everybody looked at me, they started to cheer and shout, and I was taken aback.
"Haha, my apologies. I was just so stunned to see each and every one of you that have shown up here today to show your support for me. I am completely astonished." I start to monologue, feeling the words just roll off the tongue with ease, while I walk over to the podium and place my hands on it.
"Truly, I just had to stop and stare for a moment, just so that I could memorise each and every one of your faces, the faces of my biggest fans. I would surely not be in this position I am in today if it was not for your support, and so for that, I thank you, and I hope to get to meet each and every one of you today." At my words that make mention of them repeatedly, cheers and cries ring out, professing their love and admiration of me, and all I can do is bask in the effervescent glow.
When I came to a stop earlier, barraged by the noises of the crowd when I first walked out onto the stage, it was not because I was nervous or scared. On the contrary, it was because I felt great pleasure and joy when I heard these numerous wizard folk shouting out their love and admiration for me. To see them all showing up in mass to come and meet me for something as little as a signature, no doubt some of them will cue up for hours on end to get it, yet they are willing to do so.
I have never felt such energy before, and I have never witnessed such dedication and determination, and it is all for me. So all of this hubbub just to meet me, to shake my hand, talk to me for a minute top and get my signature before going on their merry ways, am I really so beloved?
"Haha, okay, okay, quieten down. I don't want you all to strain your voices before I even get the chance to speak to you. Now, who is ready to buy my new book and get it signed by me? I will also sign any of my other books that you have brought with you today." Again at my words, a cheer rings out even though I had just told them all to quieten down. Such is their excitement that they cannot control themselves.
"Now, I know I have been gone for a year, and you all must be wondering where I have been. Well, this new book will tell you all that and more. In it, I record my trip to a land that is so cold that there is hardly any life there, and the danger is so imminent that the life that does inhabit this land is always in jeopardy. Finally, I encounter a mythical, never before seen magical beast that I doubt will ever be seen again, so come forward and buy my new book. Assault On The Abominable Snowman!" Another wave of cheer rings out, and I can't help the smile that grows on my face.
I turn around to see that a desk with all the tools and equipment I need, as well as several of my books, has appeared on the stage behind me, and I go forth to take a seat at it, having memories of following this procedure numerous times. And when I am sat at the desk, the podium that was on the stage was now gone, and I was left with a clear view of the entirety of Flourish and Blotts and all of my fans queuing up to meet me.
"Okay, reporters to the front, right next to the stage. Everybody else, stay in the cue and wait until we allow you to get your books signed. remember, you can buy your books at the front of the store." One of the staff begins to speak and organise the event, and the reporters quickly come up to the front of the stage and immediately get out and point their cameras at me, and I am barraged by a constant flashing of lights.
I easily manage to ignore the constant glare in my eyes because I have memories of doing these sorts of events before, as well as my body is used to functioning under these conditions. So I have no problem watching as an older woman walks onto the stage clutching a few different books to her chest, and she is also quite the looker.
"Hello, Mr Lockhart, my name is Patricia Evans, and I am a big fan, and I have bought all of your books." She begins to bumble as she drops all of her books onto the table. As Patricia starts to ramble off about various things she loved in my books and asks me questions, I pick up the first book and get to signing them, occasionally humming to her words and pitching in with some answers to her questions.
"And we are all done. Thank you for buying my book Patricia, and I look forward to seeing you around sometime. it was lovely meeting you." I say as I hand Patricia the final books, which she grabs hold of with her left hand before she suddenly reaches and grabs my hand with her right and leans in to get close to me.
"You can see even more of me tonight. I would love to spend even more time with you. You can owl me with a time and place, and I will be there." She seductively whispers into my ear, propositioning me. I was kind of expecting this since Gilderoy had received many of these offers in the past and took some of his fans up on it.
As Patricia backs away without waiting for a response, clutching her books as she goes, I can't help but look at her delicious posterior. I really think I will love my new life as Gilderoy Lockhart.
"And we are all done. Thank you for buying my book Eveline, and I look forward to seeing you around sometime. it was lovely meeting you." So I say as I hand Eveline the final books that I ha assigned, though this time I do not get a sultry proposition, or to be more accurate, I quickly wave her on her way before she can send one my way.
Eveline is an old woman, and I don't roll that way. I had already received numerous offers today, so much so that I was spoilt for choice on who to pick. There were a lot of incredibly beautiful gorgeous women that I met today, and not all of them had invited me to join them on a later date, some having been here purely out of admiration and love of my works, and it wasn't just women either.
I had met all sorts of people today at this event, men and women, old and young, beautiful and not so beautiful, and there were even some foreigners, and I also suspect that there might have been one or two magical creatures as well. I call them creatures, but they are more like magical variations of humans, having something more to them than ordinary magical folk, and I think at least one showed up today.
It was halfway through the book signing when an angelic blonde woman with sinful curves walked onto the stage, completely eclipsing everything else in the room. I wasn't surprised when the flashes of the cameras no longer blinded me as they were all now pointed towards her and constantly flashing.
I could only thank my great luck that by this point in the book signing, I was employing my Occlumency to keep up with the continuous strain of talking to people for hours on end, and so I was able to keep my mind and functionality while the rest of the room lost theirs.
The woman seemed to realise the effect she was having on the room due to being on the stage and the point of everybody's focus. However, a second later, the influence affecting everyone started to fade, dimming but still ever-present in the room, affecting us all but not so much that we would lose our minds.
Though instead of feeling relieved, I doubled down on my Occlumency and fortified my mind even further since I knew there was a threat to it right in front of me. Even if the woman did not look like she was going to attack anytime soon, I could not trust that.
The rest of the interaction was quite pleasant and normal, aside from her stunning looks, with us both conversing and her complimenting my books as I signed them. All in all, an average interaction, but still, I did not let my guard down.
"I do wonder, though, Gilderoy Lockhart. Are you truly the man described in these books? Surely such a perfect being, as mentioned in the book, does not exist." It was after I had finished singing all of her books and handed them back over to her that she leaned in closer to me and whispered into my ear with her seductive French accent.
And out of the blue, I feel the full force of her allure weigh itself down on me, pushing against me from all angles waiting for a crack to open up so that it can rush in and completely overwhelm even more of my mind. Thankfully my Occlumency was in full force and held up against the surprise attack. However, that did not mean it had no effect on me at all.
"Perfect? Haha, on that, I can assure you that I am not perfect. No one is. However, it was lovely meeting a big fan such as yourself today, and I hope to see you again." I speak those words out with a charming smile and a calm face though the inside of my head is an entirely different environment. As soon as I finish speaking, the force surrounding me disappears as if it was never even there, to begin with, and the woman smiles the sweetest smile I have ever seen.
"I have a feeling that we will meet again, Gilderoy. After all, this meeting did not betray expectations. You are exactly the man that was written down in your books. If anything, I am even more infatuated with you now after meeting you. So I will see you soon, Gilderoy Lockhart." She says mysteriously before turning away and walking off, leaving me to watch her go.
And so the woman who had me sign her books affectionately to Polly walked out of the door, leaving me bewildered. I can only thank the lord that I am sitting down behind this desk. Otherwise, I would have given everybody an eyeful of my engorged package.
"Have a lovely day." I wave as another one of my fans goes down the stairs of the stage and departs from Flourish and Blotts, leaving just a few stragglers that joined the queue late but still stayed all this time to meet me. I quickly get to work talking to the last few fans that I have, tired from my long day of work. It is at times like this that I genuinely envy Gilderoy's outlook.
Because for Gilderoy, something like this was not tiring at all, and that was because the man was incredibly vain and enjoyed the love and adoration his fans poured on him. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it as well, but my level of vanity was nowhere near the astronomical amounts Gilderoy had. he anticipated events like this where people would continually praise and talk about him.
It is like they say if you do something you love, you will never work a day in your life, and Gilderoy loves attention. It was practically the only thing he lived for. Keeping a sigh from escaping my mouth, I quickly buckle down and get to finishing off the few stragglers so we can all go home. Surprisingly, a lot of the reporters are still there, and they are still shooting away.
"Alright, that is the end of the book signing, Gilderoy. We had a good release day, and we sold a lot of books, not just the new release but even some older ones. Go get some rest, Gilderoy, and I can't wait until your next book. Goodbye, Gilderoy." My publisher says before leaving the store with all the other people that are going now that the event is over, the reporters are still around, however. They are still packing up their cameras, and the guy in charge of the store is currently taking down the displays that were up for my event.
"Um, sir. Can you please get off the stage so I can take it down, uh, if that is okay with you, Mr Lockhart, sir?" A young member of staff nervously asks me while I still remain at my desk, sitting and relaxing after a tiring day. I gave the employee a nod and slid my chair back so that I could stand up, and then I turned around to walk off the stage the way I came. I notice that the curtain I had first come through has already been taken down, and I begin to walk down off the stage so I can go home and sleep.
"Excuse me, is the book signing still going? We didn't miss Gilderoy Lockhart, did we? Please say we didn't" I hear the front door of the store open, and a loud female voice enquires, and I stop to listen before I go entirely down all of the stairs.
"I am sorry, ma'am, but the book signing is now over. If you want to purchase Gilderoy Lockhart's new book, Assault On The Abominable Snowman, then you can do so, but you will not be able to get an autograph today." So I hear a member of staff tell her, and to be honest, I agree with them because I am pretty wiped out after today.
"Please, I can see him right over there. Can't you make an exception and let me get an autograph, please? I have seven different children, and I look after them practically all by myself. My husband works long hours at the ministry, and this was the only time I have managed to get away to come here, and I still had to bring two of my children with me." So the woman complains, and she has clearly seen me at the back of the shop. But sheesh, seven kids, that is a lot. I don't know any people with seven kids except...
I slyly turn my head around so that I can get a glimpse at them to see if my suspicions are correct. And low and behold, I see three heads full of red hair at the front, each at a different height, a mother with her two children, a girl and a boy. I am surprised to run into people from the original story so soon, I basically just stepped out of my home, and already I have run into some original characters. However, I suppose Britain's wizarding world is quite tight and compact.
I pay close attention to them and what they are saying. These are some pretty essential characters from the book, after all. Cannon will also be starting really soon, so perhaps I can glean some vital information from them and see if this is an evil Dumbledore I am dealing with in this world.
"I am sorry, ma'am, but the book signing is already over. Mr Lockhart has been here a long time, and he is tired, so can you please-" The staff member continues to deny the red-headed woman. I can clearly see that the woman is losing hope, and she begins to back away towards the door, her only reason for being here to meet me, which is clearly being denied.
"It is okay. Send them over here. I have enough time to see another fan of mine and sign a couple more books." I quickly speak, not wanting this opportunity to go to waste, And I turn around and head back towards the desk on the stage, ignoring the sigh of the staff member that was waiting to take down the stage.
At my words, the woman looks towards the staff member, who quickly deflates and backs off and takes her opportunity. The woman soon grabs hold of her kids and rushes over towards me, practically dragging them along. By this point, I had already sat back down at the desk, and a member of staff had hurriedly brought me another quill and ink bottle to sign the books that were coming my way.
The red-headed woman quickly comes up the stage stairs, and lets go of her children's arms, who now trail behind her as she begins to fiddle around in the bag she has over her arm. The woman starts to pull numerous books out of it as she walks over to me, and when she finally gets to the desk, she puts the books down on the desk and looks toward me.
"Now, let's see what we have here. Who am I? Marauding with Monsters, Year with the Yeti, Gadding with Ghouls, Break with a Banshee, Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pests, Magical Me, Wandering with Werewolves, Voyages with Vampires, Travels with Trolls and- Oh, would you look at that, The Travel Trilogy which includes the three previous books I just mentioned. This is my entire collection. You must be a very big fan to have all of these. Are you here to buy my new book as well?" I ask the woman as I thumb through all of the books, to which she reacts flusteredly.
"Ah, no, I won't be buying the new one just yet. I still haven't finished all of the ones I have got, I am just so busy, and I can't find the time. But I will most definitely buy a copy when I am up to date on my reading, Mr Lockhart." She says with her face turning massively red, and as I look down at the books and rifle through them, I can see that they all have some wear and tear.
These books look as if they had been read through multiple times and had a lot of use. Either that or they are books that have been through many hands before finding themselves as her possessions. Either way, this proves that the woman is not in the financial position to be wasting money on books for her pleasure since she either got these books second (or third/fourth) hand or she lied to me and has reread these books many times herself.
"Come on, a dedicated fan like you that has bought all my previous books deserves to go home with a brand new signed copy of my book today. In fact, I will give it to you free of charge. Now, what is your name Mrs?" I ask as I pick up a copy of my book Assault on the Abominable Snowman that was on the desk and prepare to autograph and write a message on it.
"Ah, it is Weasely, Molly Weasely, Mr Lockhart. Thank you very much for this, but you don't need to." She tries to dissuade me from giving her a copy while still being polite. doesn't she know that misplaced pride will never get you anywhere?
"Nonsense, Molly, you will take this book. Think of it as a gift for my most loyal fan. you will be doing me a favour." Yes, you will be doing me a favour. You will be doing me a favour by revealing all the little secrets you have in that redhead of yours.