Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune

With a solid plan in mind, I just needed to speak with Central’s staff to obtain the necessary information about the foe. I doubt they’ll hide that kind of thing from me; it wasn’t like I it was a secret, or that it would help me beat them in any meaningful way.

Noe, can you contact the Site’s staff through the Trash Matrix?

“Affirmative,” she responded, “Site Manager Jordan has given you access to internal communications, note that all communications done through the Trash Matrix will be monitored. Who would you like to contact?”

“Just send a message to Jordan herself, tell her that I need information about the Aspirants of Site 1100.”

“Acknowledged.”

Jordan got back to me shortly. There was no fuss about getting me that information, in fact, she was almost giddy when she heard my request. Something told me that I was not going to like what I was about to hear.

She sent a weird imp-like creature to my room when she got my permission. The small red creature held a little portable projector and quickly set it up in the corner of my room.

“Good afternoon, Lord Arbiter,” he said with a raspy voice, “I am here to answer any and all questions that you may have about the Restus. Any information that Site 1102 has at its disposal will be yours. May I begin with the basic rundown of this race?”

I nodded.

“Excellent!” he exclaimed and pressed a button to turn on the device, “As you can see, the Restus of the Andromeda Galaxy has been chosen for Ascension due to their innate strength and brutal society.”

I looked at the screen and saw a medical model of the thing they called the Restus. It looked like a strange hybrid of a spider and a lizard. Its entire body was covered in scales like a reptile, but it walked on four hind legs supported by a bulbous backend. Its upper body was massive as well, sporting two pairs of arms that ended in taloned hands. Finally, the face was little more than one massive crocodilian jaw. If the diagram was to be believed, these things were also about 9 feet tall on average, and about 5 feet across.

“This species has been integrated into the Trials at roughly the same time as the Humans of Earth,” the imp continued, “For the glorious Overseer wishes for this upcoming contest to be as fair as it can be. No race will be advantaged based on time spent in the Ascension process”

Fair my fucking ass. How the hell would any normal human go up against that monstrosity? The fact that the Trash Matrix beefed them up further only made the situation worse.

The imp clicked a button and a new picture appeared, this time it was an aerial view of the city that they inhabited.

“These Aspirants are in Site 1100’s Quietus city and equal the number of Aspirants in Pandora,” the picture zoomed out and I could see where this place was relative to Pandora, “Quietus is quite close to Pandora, and if my conversions are correct, it is about 15240 Earth kilometers away.”

I wouldn’t call that kind of distance close, but then again, we are talking about multidimensional beings who travel between existences. 15k kilometers is probably a step or two away for them.

“The location for the upcoming Clan War will be at a neutral location chosen by both Site Managers, subject to change by the Overseer.”

Translation: we’ll get the absolute worst terrain possible.

“As will the weather conditions during the battle and method in which the war is waged.”

Translation: the weather will be horrible for humans, and the way we get to fight will be even worse.

“Now the Restus are well known for their capabilities in melee combat and immense endurance and tenacity,” the imp stated, “But they lack support roles like medics, healers, and magic users. I am sure that the Lord Arbiter can make use of this crippling weakness to your advantage.”

I could almost hear the snide chuckle in the stupid thing’s voice when he said that. My ass we can exploit a weakness like that, what use was a medic or healer when we’ll struggle to even harm them?

“Additionally, their scales provide them an unparalleled level of defense, and their race is inherently immune to magic as well as extreme changes in temperatures and pressures, but I am sure that this will prove to be a negligible issue for the mighty Lord Arbiter.”

Now the shit-eating grin was starting to surface on the imp’s face. He knew full well how unfair this matchup was.

He continued, “Lastly, their talons are coated with a deadly neurotoxin that can prove fatal for even the strongest early-stage Aspirant, but I am sure that your humans can simply dodge these attacks. Easily done under your tutelage, just like how you can easily overcome the fact that the Restus can fight for upwards of seven Earth weeks without rest.”

“I see.”

“Now those are just the characteristics of the base, unascended Restus, so it makes sense why they seem so feeble for you,” the imp explained with an even bigger grin, he was clearly enjoying this, “Shall I explain what the Origin Matrix has bestowed about this race in the three Trials that they have completed?”

I forced my expression to remain neutral and nodded. The imp continued to speak for a while longer, but to summarize, the human species was well and truly fucked. The Restus were quicker, stronger, more durable, more cunning, and altogether more of everything when compared to their Human counterpart. The Trash Matrix enhanced their already formidable abilities and all but eliminated their preexisting weaknesses. I could have all the resources in Central and I still wouldn’t be able to claim a victory for the humans.

“I have summarized all of the information about the Restus into his booklet,” the imp said once he was done, “I am sure that you will use this information wisely when devising your training regime. I look forward to seeing the tremendous growth of the Pandora Aspirants!”

“You’re dismissed,” I said dryly as I took the offered paper, “And I’ll be sure to do just that.”

He waved me goodbye, “Take care, Lord Arbiter, and all of Site 1102 wishes you the best of luck!”

I’ll still be the one who gets the last laugh. There was one good thing about the situation despite the disparaging news about the foe we have to fight soon. I am now confident that all of my requests will be met with little resistance. For one, they’re clearly trying to show how supportive they are to my cause for everyone, like the Sponsors, to see, but I already knew that.

I had feared that they would try to sneakily sabotage my efforts in secret, but after seeing the imp, I didn’t have those fears any longer. They were so sure that they would win that there was no need for subterfuge. As long as I didn’t ask for anything unreasonable, I was sure to get it. They had no reason to do otherwise because the conclusion was already certain. That will be to their detriment.

I got the most important piece of information out of that exchange: the location of the Restus. I still had a few hours left of my Preview ticket left, so getting to the enemy was as easy as a swipe of my feelers. All that’s left for me to do was find a suitable corpse so that my impromptu visit to Site 1102 goes unnoticed. I guess it was time for Dr. Walter to make his appearance tonight. I doubt Central will care what I did with my own Aspirants.

It took two more hours before the doppelganger came back. In that time I had finally washed up and even enjoyed one of the Director’s cookies. I don’t know what she puts in them, but they perk me right up after having one.

“Lord Arbiter!” my clone greeted, “It is good to see you again! I am happy to inform you that I have successfully integrated with your friends! They suspect nothing!”

Huh, I thought Q’s creation would act differently, but he seemed the same as before. How odd.

“That’s good…” I said, “Why are you so cheerful?”

“Why would I not be, Lord Arbiter?” he asked with a tilt of his head, “I have performed my task perfectly, is that not a cause for happiness?”

“No, you did good there,” I answered, “But what about Q?”

“I’m sorry,” he said, clearly confused, “What do you mean?”

Oh… I can guess what kinds of modifications the Overseer made to the poor clone. I mean, I still hated the thing with all my heart, but not even I would want it to forget its own creator. I can see what Xalla meant by destroying Q’s legacy.

“Never mind,” I said quickly, “Tell me what happened when you took over.”

“Nothing much to report, Lord Arbiter,” he said, “We had food as a group after your marvelous announcement, and the guild engaged in what the humans call small talk. This strange method of communication is quite entertaining.”

“And they didn’t suspect a thing about you being a fake?”

“Not at all, my Lord,” he answered with a bright smile, “I have studied every instance of the Aspirant Walter and his interactions with his peers, and I am able to mimic them with 99.98% accuracy. All inaccuracies can be described away due to the human body’s natural tendency to fluctuate its use of neurochemical hormones.”

“That’s great to hear,” I said, “But I can take over for now. I’ll call for you once I need you again. And… good job, your creator would be proud.”

He brightened up immediately, “Thank you! I am sure the Overseer would be most happy about my performance!”

I winced at his response, but recovered quickly, “Good, you’re dismissed.”

I stepped back, but he didn’t burst into a puddle this time. He simply… vanished. Another improvement from his old self, but not one that I could be happy about. At least they didn’t mess with his stupidly optimistic personality, it was the only reminder of Q left.

I waited until it was dark out before making my move. I sent a quick message to the Regressor informing him of my departure, and to let everyone else know that I’ll be busy in the upcoming nights. More nighttime activities also meant that my doppelganger could spend more time pretending to sleep during the day; I didn’t trust the Overseer’s work to be foolproof.

I made my exit from the guild building and utilized the Absolute Luck Skill to ensure that no one was following me accidentally. I needn’t have worried, since I didn’t expend even a single point, but it was better to be safe in any case. Dr. Walter could never be tied with the Abyss guild.

Once I was sufficiently far away, I found a quiet corner and transformed. My grimly blood-soaked uniform was back, and I took out the Director’s bone saw to complete the setup. I took out Molly’s charm as well, might as well go all out on the first day.

This time Alice, Molly, and even Toby’s translucent forms appeared with me.

“Uncle Walter!” Alice shouted, but was immediately quieted down by Molly, “Sorry, I forgot you’re supposed to be a spy.”

Thankfully I was in the middle of nowhere and no one overheard.

“Um, hi Dr. Walter,” Toby said next, “It’s good to see you again, I’m taking care of Alice like you told me to. The Director’s also very nice to me.”

“We’re best friends now!” Alice added, “But I think he’s still afraid of mom.”

Toby blushed but didn’t deny it.

“Anyway,” Molly interrupted, keeping the kids on track, “What can we do for you, doctor?”

“I’ve infiltrated where all the patients live,” I explained, “But it’s not where the important invaders live. I need to get their attention, which means I need to cause a little bit of mayhem here.”

“Is that wise?” the doll asked, “You’ll be in direct danger if you make too much noise.”

I shrugged, “It’s not like I can just stay here and do nothing, I’ve already accepted a level of risk being here.”

“That is fair,” Molly agreed, “What can we do to help?”

“Well, first of all, I need to find someone who matches this form,” I canceled my transformation but still had Central’s suit on, “I’ll need it for the Director to use, but make sure it's undamaged. She can’t use a broken or smooshed corpse.”

The three of them indicated their understanding and hovered around me, taking in my appearance. It was a little awkward being stared at like that.

“Okay, I’ve remembered the body type,” Toby said first, “and no smooshing, got it.”

“Me too!” Alice added.

“I’m good as well,” Molly said, “And leave retrieving the body to me, I’ve done it for the madam a number of times already. You two know what that means, right?”

“Yes Molly,” they said at once with sad voices. I felt bad for not allowing the kids to have their fun when I hadn’t seen them in so long.

“Thank you,” I added, “There’ll be others that you can play with, so don’t worry.”

The two kids perked up at that.

“Alright, so here’s the plan…”

 

Want to read ahead? Check out my Patreon! It's what's keeping this project alive and well!

VOLUME 2 IS COMPLETE ON PATREON! 

It's currently 28 chapters ahead with a new chapter uploaded daily! 

Check it out if you want to support the author, and as always, thank you for reading!