NOVEL SIMPLE F*cking About
6/14 night day 1
Most of the rest of that day was actually spent in study. Talaada was busy coordinating the “revelations” among the priesthood of Elune and the general populace. The central temple here was already completely mine, thanks to a mission perk Talaada had picked up. Not only did everyone believe she was a priestess of Elune, but real priestesses trusted her like an old friend. It made capturing them very easy.
We were planning on implementing quite a few more religious reforms to troll Elune, but it seemed best to stagger them. I knew that lures tended to get stronger with prolonged exposure and I could still remember the time a lovestruck Dena Kennedy had legitimately almost killed someone because she realized that I was brainwashing her. I really didn’t want a desperate goddess that thought she was being backed into a corner; just because Elune had been hands off so far didn’t mean she was incapable of getting angry enough to smite.
To that end, the first form of baiting was simple: Talaada started spreading an alternative interpretation of the eclipse among the priesthood. Elune had been embarrassed, you see. That is why she hid her face. She wasn’t angry, she just needed time to process. She wasn’t used to being pursued in this way. Her fondest lover, Malorne the stag god, had made his intentions known by literally chasing her through the sky with supernatural speed.
It was obvious bullshit, and that was why it would only spread among those Talaada told. Fortunately, Talaada would be traveling to quite a few temples now that we were gunning for the goddess. Subverting Elune’s faithful through capture across the length and breadth of the Kaldorei Empire was a good first step, in no small part because it would allow Talaada to control the narrative moving forward. They would keep worshiping their patron goddess normally until things progressed past the point of no return.
••••••••••
When I went to court with Talaada on my arm, I had been expecting to mingle a little and get a feeling for how the court of Queen Azshara worked. Perhaps try out my newly mastered glamor spell when I was ready to head to bed, maybe fuck Azshara just to see how everyone would react to me using my fucktoy in public. I was not expecting the question boldly asked by one of Azshara’s handmaidens after I’d only been there a few minutes.
“Sir,” asked an elf in an elaborate crown braid and very little else, “if it’s not too much trouble, could I be your fuck toy as well?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Uh… why?” She was captured, of course, but this seemed a bit extreme.
She gave me a cool, steady look. “My queen has taken this path. I wish to follow.”
“Ahh.” I looked over at Azshara, who was currently presiding over a harp playing contest. She’d reverted to her utter self confidence around an hour after she’d left my presence, and was for the most part back to her routine. That is to say, being surrounded by a few hundred very hot people that were actively trying to entertain her through arts, sciences, culinary delights, political debates, shows of strength, gifts, etc. and mostly being bored by it all.
The whole damn system of government, whatever it had been before her ascension, was her playground now. The highborne of her court were all captured, though most had only mild mental changes at the moment. I could do as I pleased here. I intended to.
After I bent the girl over one of the card tables and fucked her senseless, I had a devious thought and wrote on her ass “Erich’s honored fucktoy.” If she went into the fucktoy business to try to be more like her idol, I wondered how both of them would process that she was an honored fucktoy while Azshara was a “lowly fucktoy.” Worst case scenario it wouldn’t track because it wasn’t objectively true, but it was still worth checking. Best case scenario there might be some cognitive dissonance or weird knock on effects.
“Hey, what’s your name by the way?” I asked the blissed out noblewoman.
“Moreina, my lord.”
“Alright. Go find a mirror to look at your ass. You earned it.” The ink wasn’t permanent, especially on skin, but for a week or two she would outrank Azshara in the hierarchy of my fucktoys.
I looked around and saw a few dozen people watching both me and her with a combination of respect and naked envy. Talaada was a bit unusual in that she was mostly just turned on, which I wasn’t expecting from the comparatively chaste priestess. I don’t suppose there are many environments where you can rail a random gorgeous woman that you just met without drawing at least some attention. I haven’t been to any I didn’t organize myself, but I imagine even most orgies would consider that at least slightly noteworthy.
If anything, the fact that Moreina was the object of envy far more than I was made it much funnier. Everyone here was captured. Anyone I’d enjoy fucking would be down to fuck if I asked, and they all used Azshara as an aspirantional idol. I thought about it, and wondered what would happen if I elevated every woman in the court above Azshara, even as they all adored her and thought she could do no wrong?
I walked over and whispered in her ear. “Toy, I’m thinking I’d like for you to be bound and gagged the next few times you come to court. Any time we are both at court at the same time, really. If you don’t know someone familiar with rope bondage, I’ll have Talaada look for someone.”
“Oh yes, of course.” The queen agreed readily, “If that’s what you wish I’ll see to it.”
“Good girl.” I slapped her on the ass and then went to enjoy some of the shows on the periphery. There was a largely ignored troupe of acrobats, and I thought they deserved more attention. I’d spent all day studying and I wanted to see some dumb fun.
••••••••••
Vashj was having a horrible time. She’d woken up in a cold, muddy camp in the middle of nowhere surrounded by pale warrior women that didn’t care about her title or status. They acted as if the disgusting porridge and straw pallet they gifted her was somehow a sufficient gift to grant a visiting Highborne guest.
As if their hospitality had not already been hideously lacking, they expected her to solve their problems for them. She was of course a rather powerful mage, but why would she bother helping these “Sisters of the Sightless Eye” with some kind of regional political or religious schism. She hadn’t paid much attention, but apparently they wanted her to single-handedly slaughter over a hundred “demons” currently poised to attack their little refugee camp. Whatever those were.
Alas, it seemed she might need to. She had very few missions, only 28 total, and the only one she saw that would give her any additional information was
The Den of Evil: Clear out the demonic garrison found in the cave near the Rogue Camp.
Reward: 1 skill point, A Price on Love
Sponsor: Copy of Blood Raven, the Fallen Rogue Champion
She could certainly DO it, as she was a powerful Sea Witch hero, a magister of the Kaldorei, and apparently would be gaining the abilities of a local sorceress besides, but she refused to do it without an escort. As such, the first order of the day would be to get a few of the soldiers alone and capture them with a magic circle. Once they knew their place, she would go out with her new handmaidens and do the mission. Actually, perhaps she would just take the whole camp? Clearly her leadership would lead to more success than whatever that Akara woman was doing.
••••••••••
When Lividia arrived, I was balls deep in Talaada. She had been working remotely via overlords while accompanying me, and I wanted to make sure she enjoyed the evening, so I was putting just a little more effort in than normal to make sure she enjoyed it. Lividia was busy looking around, only occasionally stopping to check my progress and give my high priestess an appreciative once over.
“Hey babe. Sorry, it’s been longer for me than normal. We are in that alternate timeline I told you about.”
“That’s fine. I see you’ve been enjoying yourself.” She strolled over and took my arm possessively while she surveyed the room. “Is this a royal palace? I hope it’s less boring than the one in Stormwind.”
“I think so, but would you like to go for a flight instead? I think I’m just about done here for now.”
“Excellent. Where are we going?”
“Wanna go see the Well of Eternity?”
“Oooh! I’d love to.” Beat. “What is it? It does sound very exciting.”
And so, as promised, I went sightseeing with my prime consort until I was ready to go to bed. We watched a bit of “tv” over dinner, though Vashj was far less interesting than Onyxia had been. Mostly it was just 24 hours of a ruthless but pampered noblewoman being irritated in a refugee camp. “By the light, I hope she doesn’t fuck this up.”
Onyxia, for her part, was bar crawling, looking for the right man to whisk her away to some random war front. Thankfully, she was taking the whole thing seriously. Despite all the nerfs she might end up bringing back the most rewards. Or at least I thought so, until I discovered that someone had already sent home two.
I wasn’t going to stay up later just to see it, but Gamon of all people had already earned a credit and an upgrade for Gigi Littlewhisker of all people. I yawned. “Alright dude. I’ll need to check in on you at this rate.”