Waifu Catalog: Warcraft Beta Tester

6/12 morning

Zalazane retreated to his final fallback position. For days the blue leviathan had been pursuing him, quickly dispatching any servants he sent to counter her. The crafty witch doctor was more than capable of avoiding attention normally, but slowly he had been worn down. Every trick he was forced to pull cost him resources, made him reveal more of his hidden stashes, and generally bought him an hour or two at most.

He was exhausted; he’d gone days without meaningful sleep, so in desperation he had sought out his last resort. He intoned the ritual, and encased himself in a sphere of force. So protected, he let himself finally sleep. His eyes snapped open moments later, as far as he could tell.

“Ahh.” Cooed a feminine voice. “There you are.” The blue haired elf strolled into his small temple. He knew her for what she really was, but for whatever reason she preferred this form whenever she got close to him. “You’ve really been a fun diversion, but it appears I’ve cornered you.”

Still a bit punchy, Zalazane cackled. “Hah, dragon. Not so powerful now, are ya? No matter what you try, I can’t be touched.” His shield was all but impenetrable, only allowing in air for him to breathe. Nothing short of a god could hurt him while he was encased in this.

“Oh certainly,” she agreed, “but thankfully, I don’t actually need to touch you at all for what I have planned.” She started tracing a rune in the air and ice began forming around Zalazane’s barrier. “I notice you don’t have a proper air recycling spell integrated into that shield. An easy mistake.” The ice formed into a smooth, unbroken dome over Zalazane’s form as he began panicking. Malygosa sat down on a nearby stump and waited. He’d suffocate soon enough; hopefully he’d surrender before that.

She settled down nearby, noting that the mission was already complete, and projected her voice into his bubble. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re good stock. You kept me busy for a respectable amount of time. I’d be happy to put you to stud among my daughters, and I think you’d serve my organization well. You’d need to swear loyalty of course, but come now! Either you get to live and enjoy quite a few lovers, or you die of suffocation here and now. Slowly, but with certainty, wasting away without oxygen. The other fun option is of course for you to drop your shield and try to escape. That will still result in you joining my organization, but on far worse terms. Think about it. I suspect you have a few hours before you run out of air.”
Entirely for effect, Malygosa filed her already perfect nails. She was actually writing up her report for the successful mission, but Zalazane was watching through the ice and force field. She didn’t want to look like she was just staring gormlessly into space.

••••••••••

Carlin Redpath stood outside of the Light’s Hope Chapel, holding the hand of the usually-silent woman that had been entrusted to his care earlier today. She was an Overseer, specifically one created from a mindless overlord and put in the body of a small, distinctly metallic Watcher. She had been given an understanding of how to behave formally and what to watch out for, and was fully capable of speech, but nobody would mistake her for a normal person. Officially she was a purpose-built golem created by the elves at Silvermoon, handed over to the Argent Dawn as a kind of beta test.

“The true enemy approaches, Sergeant Redpath.” The golem whispered. “Requesting additional instruction now.”

As Carlin turned, trying to process what she meant by that, the golem’s stance shifted. Where before she had been incredibly stiff, her body relaxed into a stance that would still be perfectly in place on a parade ground, but felt more human nonetheless. She looked around for a few moments. “Ahh. Yeah that’s going to be a problem.”

“What should I do?” Carlin whispered, “Is it the Scourge?”

“Nope. Probably much worse.” The Ops team member piloting the overseer shook her head ruefully, “The caravan headed this way has two of Nefarian’s crystals in the mix. Thankfully they are broadcasting, so I could hear them from miles away. I don’t think any of your allies have noticed the caravan yet. Do you think we have enough capital to get some of the Scarlets taken into custody for having that kind of contraband?”

“I doubt it.” Carlin guessed, “Lord Bismark has offered some handy assistance, but he’s not exactly in formal alliance with the Dawn. Sylvanas might have more success, but a lot of people would just assume she’s harassing the crusaders out of pettiness.”

“Fair, fair. It’s only a few of them that have the crystals, so hopefully Tyr’s Hand hasn’t been fully subverted yet. I’ll just send a small team of rogues to handle it, eh?”

••••••••••

The heavily armed convoy was fairly typical, consisting of around one hundred Scarlet Crusaders guarding a few wagons full of food and equipment for trade. The elite VIPs in the front of the column were the real reason that the crusaders were coming to Light’s Hope; after Saidan Dathrohan’s death when the forces of Naxxramas destroyed the Scarlet Enclave, the new leader in the region had been far more open to coordination. Oracle Demetria declared the destruction of the Scourge to be paramount, and was willing to set aside petty concerns in favor of greater advantage. Sending teams to coordinate their movements was the first and most vital step in this mending of bridges.

A shame that the communication crystal that was to be delivered to lord Maxwell Tyrosius had been altered, converted into a crystal of entrancement by Nefarian’s agents in Tyr’s Hand. Rohan the Assassin, captured during his nightly visits to the Gadgetzan Discoteque, hadn’t yet managed to take over the whole stronghold, but he was making a lot of progress for a single man. That ended today.

••••••••••

Darcell took the lead. Doris had more experience in field work and Lilian had actually been in the area before, but the superhuman senses of a demon hunter would serve better on a job like this, with or without the blindfold that would hopefully block the entrancing effect of the orb. Valeera brought up the rear, and Vanessa had been brought in to serve as a point of contact with the Overseer.

There were limits to what stealth could accomplish, so they needed to move fast and without mercy. Valeera and Vanessa moved for the head cart to get the orb of communication while Lilian and Darcell intercepted Rohan, who was scouting ahead. They moved in teams of two as a safeguard against being entranced together.

Rohan was surprisingly difficult prey for the relatively inexperienced duo. It took seconds for him to realize that he couldn’t take them in a direct fight, at which point he dropped a flashbang and vanished. It was an extremely strenuous technique that allowed one to entirely escape the perceptions of everyone in line of sight, but damn if it didn’t save lives when used correctly. While the girls were trying to reorient themselves, Rohan was sprinting back to the relative safety of the convoy. He stayed quiet initially, hoping to avoid giving his location away before he could be heard clearly.

Unfortunately for him, Darcell didn’t need anything so crude as that to track his location. She could hear his heartbeat from a hundred paces, and her demonically charged muscles carried her faster than even a master assassin could ever hope to move. She had to use her ultimate ability as a demon hunter to metamorph into a great winged demon to catch up before he was safe, but the result was still her tearing a man limb from limb and stealing his pack in full view of his allies.

Half a dozen young women, all unusually pretty (and unnaturally enthusiastic about disco dancers), seemed particularly distressed by the view. They charged after the demoness in a blind fury, waving their weapons and shrieking out their rage. It would have been far harder to disable and abduct them in the woods if they’d had more support.

The majority of those in the caravan, however, were a bit distracted. You must forgive them, for you see two women had blinked into the head cart and slit the throats of Commander Marjhan, Wrathcaster Mataus, and Lynnia Abbendis, the daughter of the high general of Tyr’s Hand. All three hadn’t quite realized what was happening until after Valeera’s daggers finished their work, as the orb they were staring at was quite distracting.

The girls shattered the orb and blinked away after holding off the very inquisitive bodyguards trying to break down the door into the cart. For most people, anyone that wasn’t a warden really, blinking left the body unstable for around fifteen seconds. With two crystals destroyed, the caravan could be left alone to finish its journey. The four ladies had to get going; it was time to get a better look at the situation in Tyr’s Hand. Meanwhile, they sent reports back to Ops. They needed to be sure that resurrection was available for their new recruits when they arrived. Uther the Lightbringer arriving at the chapel as an ascended being of light should do nicely.

••••••••••

I woke up and stretched, kissing Lividia on the forehead and walking down the hall to my dining room. I’d had a chef shipped in from Stormwind to help me vary my meals a bit, and I just had them make me an omelet today. I sat down for a bit of bookkeeping, and did a double take seeing the results of my minor mission scheme in the distant past.

Mission complete! Mission ticket + Rabbit Insignia
Mission complete! Talaada’s paper trail has been upgraded to make other priestesses and Elune trust and favor her by default.
Mission complete! Paralytic Poison
Mission complete! Highborne fashion has shifted to emphasize transparent fabrics and showing off as much skin as possible.
Mission complete! Savory Deviate Delight
Mission complete! Bronze dragons corrupted by Secundus will be captured in the process
Mission complete! The Bronze Dragons masquerading as merchants in Zin-Azshari have decided to go and investigate the infinite presence in Pandaria.
Mission complete! Tyrande Whisperwind (past) has been mentally linked to Tyrande Whisperwind and believes her influence to be the voice of Elune.
Mission complete! Paper Trail- Arcanist Doan is now a formally recognized magister of Zin-Azshari
Mission complete! Epic Purple Shirt
Mission complete! Fading Dream Mushroom
Mission complete! Arcanist Doan is now known to be an unparalleled instructor in magic among affluent members of the Highborne
Mission complete! Talaada has gained the ability to redirect any and all positive emotions someone feels towards her to another person of her choice; she may reverse this effect at any time.
Mission complete! Any citizen of the Kaldorei Empire may now take an exam on the use of arcane magic to be declared a full Highborne with their resulting social status based directly on their score, seal of Joy

I laughed. The mission rewards seem to have been retooled slightly to limit the amount of swag I got, but that was still 6 credits worth of items I could sell and several small benefits to help firmly establish my team in Highborne Society. To the team in the other timeline, they’d been working steadily for almost two weeks, after all. I even had a new capture method, even if it was quirky to the point of irrelevance. Checking the capture tab, Talaada had also parlayed that influence over Tyrande’s younger self to capture her, Malfurion, and most importantly Illidan.

Past Tyrande and Malfurion were not the first versions of themselves I’d captured, so they didn’t get a power boost. Oh well. Illidan, on the other hand, was rapidly transformed into the single strongest demon hunter in history while avoiding most of the negative side effects. In fact, he was so powerful that pulling him out of that timeline and replacing him with a lookalike seemed like the best way to keep any level of secrecy going.

The only bad news was that the entire Kaldorei Empire counted as one region for regional missions, despite being larger than the entire continent of Kalimdor. Of course, I would have fulfilled this particular mission without any incentives at all. Hell, from Talaada’s reports the team was already working towards it.

Kaldorei Empire: Defeat Queen Azshara
Reward: Alluring Whisper Upgrade: Dirty Minds

Dirty Minds: That’s not what you said…? When speaking in person to someone you find sexually appealing, they may miss your actual words entirely, hear lewd suggestions instead, and then agree to them. These suggestions will never be activities that you or the target would never do or would interfere with either of your professional duties. Other individuals present may hear either a normal conversation or the same suggestions as the target, only, but not always, hearing the latter if they’re a valid target as well. This perk is a psychic effect and can be resisted by skilled psychics or sufficient density. Targets with crippling self-image issues or sufficient purity will still be affected, but the full impact will only be felt with repeat applications as they rationalize the actions they took while under the influence.
For an additional 10 credits, you have full control over this ability’s activation and can trigger it at will against any number of valid targets in a scene.