NOVEL SIMPLE Truck Prep Seminar
Zin-Azshari
Aegwynn gathered her notes and went over her presentation in her head. The former Guardian of Tirisfal had been asked to serve as an analyst and professor for this little plane hopping excursion. It was a transparent attempt to keep her safe while she carried her baby to term, but she could accept that. She’d been dangerously vulnerable during her last few months carrying Medivh, and as much as she hated to admit it her personal value to the retinue as a mage was quite minimal these days. She was looking forward to relearning everything up to the new standard after transferring her power to this little one as well.
As such, she contented herself with assessing and educating a dozen people on how to do something she had never done herself, but had thought about quite a lot at this point. She’d studied the recordings, interviewed Kathra’Natir on the technique of scouting and subverting a world for the Legion, sent text requests asking Erich for speculation about places that an agent might be sent, and tried to synthesize them into a lesson plan that would prepare these people when they were sent abroad.
“Now then,” Aegwynn began. “I have studied what is available to us and extracted a set of principles to help you in your journeys beyond our realms.”
She looked over the set of ten students, all of whom had been chosen by Erich to be rewarded with this opportunity. Tony and Sally of course, three more of Talaada’s horniest recruiters (following in the footsteps of Chadro’thar), a pandaren slave girl named Feng that suffered a whipping for her part in capturing Vashj (she was a power hungry little minx under that fuzzy exterior), Lillibeth the necromancer (chosen for her prior successes at Scholomance and her personally empowering regional upgrade), Keryn Sylvius (who spent most of the lesson critiquing the curriculum based on SI:7 protocols), and two Kaldorei girls that Erich had slept with once each.
This first lesson, before they got into specific known worlds and cultures, was split into four parts, ABCD, to make it easier to remember. She drew each in the common human language; thankful that the amulets allowed her students to perfectly comprehend her native tongue.
Adapt
Build
Control
Direct
She pointed at the first of the four words, causing it to sparkle, before she began conjuring a vision of the expedition she intended to use as an example.
“First, before everything else, assess the situation. Figure out what resources you have, including your amulet’s functions, your prior or implanted knowledge, your personal capabilities, your identity, potential allies be they willing or coerced, and any stable environment you can initially work from. Note what reward system you have, if any, and if any mission rewards are immediately accessible.”
••••••••••
Mezorian Skybinder and Priaris Lightblade, also known as Mezzo and Pryzhum, were dropped off in the middle of Sunstrider Isle. As a pair of young blood elves, they were expected to help reign in the unruly mana-craving wildlife of the Eversong Forest. Without the Sunwell, the Blood Elves had been forced to use more unsavory mana sources, many of which drove the local wildlife mad. As such, the two were commanded to go out and do glorified pest control as their first mission.
Both had been placed in the bodies of young academy graduates from Silvermoon that had grown up in a post-Sunwell society. They had very basic military training, as all High Elves did since the Scourge came to Eversong, but no combat experience and little in the way of effective combat magic. That affected Mezzo far more than Pryzhum, who had been weakened but was horribly overqualified to hunt fel-crazed treant gardeners even as a level one Blademaster.
They had a shop that would allow them to purchase valuables (which looked suspiciously like the company assets I’d sold to the Darkmoon Faire, except for the ones that were actually mundane magic items or otherwise stolen from my timeline), instant captures, skins, and access to functions on their amulet for special credits. These credits were earned by sending people back to me, “selling” them for a fraction of their credit cost. All well and good, except that they didn’t actually have access to any bindings by default, making capture relatively difficult.
••••••••••
The projection faded. “Of course, Assessment can take anywhere from a few hours to a few days depending on how far removed your situation is from what you go in knowing. It all leads into the second step: Build.”
The appropriate word began to flicker.
“Without compromising your starting assets any more than necessary, make a power base. This can be done in any number of ways; so, what would each of you do in the situation they have found themselves in?”
The pandaren girl, Feng, was the first to speak up. “If you can not make use of this shop, it is useless. Focus on growing personally stronger with our talents, yes?”
One of the chad-likes jumped in, “yeah, but you want people to watch your back, right? Find someone important who you can catch with the amulet thing.”
His friend countered, “No way man! First person shouldn’t be too important, that draws attention. Just choose someone hot; they can train with you and they’ll be on your level the whole way.”
Tony scratched his beard thoughtfully. “Nah. I think you guys are a little too fast to drop the shop. No bindings is rough, but there’s other ways to capture people.”
Aegwynn pointed at the big man. “Precisely.”
••••••••••
Priaris jogged back into the clearing, carrying one of the struggling lynxes they had been instructed to cull. It’s legs had been broken to keep it from struggling too much. Mezorian looked up with a smile.
“Excellent! Go ahead and take care of the treants, yeah?” He placed the pathetically struggling cat in a ritual circle. “This one will take a while before we’re ready for you.”
“What?” She asked, “aren’t you just gonna summon another imp to sell?”
“This is the fifth lynx!” Mezorian berated his brutal partner. “Don’t you remember what happened when the boss tried to summon a sixth Imp? You’re the one summoning the next five. Later. Like I said. This one is special. Buzz off, go kill some trees.”
Priaris shrugged. “Okay.” She faded from view, running with the wind. She didn’t mind handling the violence; it meant experience, and that meant she’d get much stronger very quickly.
Mezorian finished off the lynx, summoning an imp he knew by name from the burrow near where he had lived on Xoroth. Anticipation made it annoying, but he knew better than to rush a demon binding. He’d been on the other side of that road. Of course, once Buldak agreed to the contract he was captured, just like Mezzo had been.
“Alright,” Mezorian said, tossing both his and Priaris’s necklaces to his rather confused but safely captured old friend, turning them into rings that fit the imp’s two fingers. “You’re gonna take those, and you’re going to go make skin contact with Zelena Felwhisper. Don’t touch anyone else on the way, alright?”
“Fine, fine, whatever.” The imp agreed readily enough. “Why though?”
“That’ll bind her to my will. I’ve always wanted to fuck that stuck up bitch in the ass. Too big, though.”
“Boss… she’s only like… maybe a foot taller than you?” Buldak didn’t have much explanation to go off of, so he was pretty sure this elf was just crazy. He was loyal, sure, but that didn’t mean that his boss was sane. Not to mention how impossible it would be to get out of the burrow without touching anyone, but he’d give it a shot.
It didn’t work. Across All Timelines went off without a hitch… on two imps Buldak shouldered past on his way out of town. Luckily he noticed what happened and didn’t end up harassing the Burning Legion Recruiter without a binding to back him up. Not a problem; at the end of the day the two demon-elves had captured and sold ten imps, and still had two extras to use as conduits and companions for themselves.
••••••••••
“That is the kind of creativity that gets attention.” Aegwynn explained as the illusionary projection faded, “Despite his lack of ritual circles or necklace based bindings, Mezzo remembered how he was captured and was able to exploit it to make use of the shop that was presented to him. His plan to capture Zelena would likely have worked with a bit more planning, but wasn’t completely without merit. Meanwhile, Pryzhum’s Hero class allowed her to fulfill the military obligations for both.”
“Not completely without merit?” Lillibeth interjected, “Bullshit! He has a partner that fucking turns invisible. They could have captured just about any priority VIP in Silvermoon with that and he failed to use it on a demonic cattle rancher!”
“While you have a point, this method also had minimal potential blowback compared to your suggestion. Had his implementation gone better, he likely could have repeated Lord Bismark’s method and had informal control over all of Xoroth over the course of a few weeks by capturing Nadira and Hel’Nurath via the same method. I’d caution against going too far too fast unless you want to risk your whole experience. So, with this example, can any of you think of other methods to build a power base that you could plausibly accomplish regardless of your destination?”
The discussion shifted. Many of their suggestions were tied to Azeroth’s magic for obvious reasons, but Aegwynn did not dissuade them. Becoming a shadow priest would not be a viable option in the world where Ursula and Vashj had been sent, but similar magic might exist there in some form.
Sally had the bright idea of joining a military organization and gaining command to get oaths of loyalty. Chet’arian pointed out the obvious method of seducing someone lonely with red string. Nerea, a fruit cart vendor, shyly asked if love potions would last long enough to count (they would if capitalized on, but were illegal and somewhat rare). When Aegwynn was satisfied, she moved on.
“The next step is C, Control. This is when you start to leverage your power base to remove limitations on your autonomy. As we discussed, you can try to take powerful individuals before this point, but this is the phase when you are angling to be able to conquer with impunity. You want patrons, legal protections, and loyal allies that will shield you from prying eyes. If you have a reward system, this is when you start using company assets to strike above your weight class.”
••••••••••
Two subjective days later
“Alright, here it is.” Mezorian held aloft the small crystalline bottle full of rippling golden light.
“Here what is?” Priaris asked from her vanity, brushing her hair. For her exceptional work over the last three days, starting with pest control and ending with the apprehension of a wanted fugitive, she had been granted a commission as a minor officer and her own room at Faconreach square. Mezorian was, officially, her assistant.
“It’s called Anveena’s Gift.” He explained, irritated. “A vial of water from the Sunwell in the boss’s world. According to the description in the shop, it contains enough energy to fully bring someone under her influence if a single elf consumes it all. That means capture, and service to us! It’s the cheapest binding they offered; the price is about as much as we get for five imps.”
“Ooooh so we get someone to summon five imps,” Priaris’s eyes lit up, “send them and all the imps along, replace the bottle and pocket the extra?”
“I wish. We are the only ones who can pull the demon summoning trick, anyone else just gets a bound demon that’s not in the retinue. We have to use these two wisely. We might be able to get more if we get the right tools to summon other demons, but for now this is all we have. Enough to capture any two of these junkie elves, no problem, as long as they are greedy enough to keep it to themselves.”
Priaris shrugged, “Just get a shadow priest, then. The Sindorei have got to have a few running around, right? Have them charm people and capture them that way. I’m sure we can find people to send back to the boss that no one will care about.”
“Yeah, well, that or we take a trip to the Undercity once I’ve got Zelena in my power.”
“Hey.” Priaris rebuked him, “If we can send people back home, that means we get stronger. I’m not gonna let you waste my amulet’s charge on fuckin imps again. Have you considered just seducing someone instead of stalking Zelena? You’re not bad looking.”
Mezorian scoffed. “I might not be an imp anymore but have you seen these blood elf girls? Unless you can incinerate an army or have more gold in the bank than a goblin merchant prince, they won’t give you the time of day.”
“Aight, no skin off my nose.” She answered as she finished with her hair, “Have fun here then, I’m gonna go get laid. We can literally tell at a glance if someone would sleep with us, Mezorian. At least keep your eyes open.”
••••••••••
“As you can see, they spent their first bottle on the strongest warlock they could find in Silvermoon willing to take Mezorian on as a student. Priaris was later invited to join the Blood Knights, an order of pseudo-paladins found in Silvermoon. She snuck her bottle into the bedroom of her ultimate commanding officer, Lady Liadrin.
It had been identified as water from the Sunwell and shared with several high ranking blood elves like a bottle of fine wine. This diluted the effects, but Anveena still had enough influence to nudge many of the leaders in small ways, or to make them forget or ignore small details.
“Now that they have patrons which can provide them with material and legal support, these two are able to look beyond the stability of their own positions. That means they have reached the fourth stage: Direction. If they had a Mission system that would give them some obvious goals, but since they don’t they need to find something worth pursuing on their own. In theory they could simply retire, but Lord Bismark would prefer that anyone sent abroad make some effort to profit the retinue while they are there.”
“Options that I would suggest for individuals such as these include capturing as many people as possible for the sheer numbers advantage, specifically capturing useful or notable individuals that have not been captured in any timeline thus far, making the touch-binding more flexible, personal training to become as powerful as possible, killing many enemies in order to contribute to Xal’atath’s awakening, or accumulating enough credits in their personal store to purchase things that would still be uniquely useful to Lord Bismark, such as a Megapixel binding or a Pen of Ownership.”
••••••••••
Four subjective days later
Priaris returned after her first day of training with the light, having been shown the true secret of the Blood Knights’ power. “Yeah. Apparently they suck the power right out of a Naaru; way easier than channeling the light yourself, honestly.”
“Oh… that is interesting indeed.” Mezorian rubbed his hands together gleefully. “Mistress Talionia is feeling extremely helpful thanks to Anveena’s influence. I think she should be able to get a shadow priest to tutor me with her influence.”
“You fucking her yet, or still just a student?” Priaris asked idly.
“Well. No. I’ve been focused on my studies.” Mezorian admitted awkwardly.
“Why the fuck not? Do you want to stay a virgin?” Priaris demanded with exasperation, “She’s already, what, three stages deep? That’s when Anveena gets control of her emotions, right? Make a move and she should be eating out of your hands.”
“Why do you care?” Mezorian answered defensively. “Why do you want me to get laid so much?
“If you get her with a love confession, any Anveena juice she didn’t drink can go to someone else.” She stripped off her armor, and the heavy padding beneath. “It’s a waste to lean on that stuff for the whole capture if you can just get them all sappy and seal the deal. Faster, too. Not to mention you might stop staring at my ass so much if you blow off some steam.”
“Alright, alright, I’ll ask her. Enough about me, let’s talk about this Naaru. What do you think, can we capture it?”
“Sure, if we buy one of those one-off stamps, I wind walk in. You have a plan to afford one of those?”
“Duh. Voidwalkers. Talionia thinks I’m ready to summon one, and if I can summon one, I can summon five. You too.”
“You sure I can’t just sell guys from my unit to pay for it? Or some boy toys?” Oaths of fealty or service apparently included joining a unit in a military hierarchy, as did groveling to a strong woman in the bedroom if the words were right.
“No. Not until we can be sure it won’t be traced back to you. They are more useful as troops than as credits, anyway.” He thought, “some of the ones you haven’t seen since you slept with them, perhaps? Even with them, we need to be judicious.”
The two bickered for a time about details, but both agreed that a Naaru would be quite a prize to add to the retinue, whether they sent it home or kept it here. They were weaker than the old gods, but still exceptionally powerful beings of the light and a species that the retinue did not yet include. The capture of M’uru was a goal well worth investing in.
••••••••••
As the scene faded, Aegwynn conjured one more letter: an E.
“After A, B, C, and D, there is one more step. Enjoy. Remember, this is meant to be a reward for you. Something fun, a fulfilling challenge, entertaining viewing for the rest of the retinue, and eventually a playground for you. Incompetence and mismanagement will be noted, but you will never be punished for making a deliberate and conscious choice to place your own pleasure over efficiency. There are relatively few things you could provide that are of substantial value to Lord Bismark at this point, though providing such a thing is worthy of celebration and further reward in its own right.”
••••••••••
Two subjective days later
Talionia leaned forward with rapt attention. “So you did it? You summoned the voidwalker?” It was only a moderately impressive feat; any remotely competent warlock could do the same, but Mezorian managing it excited her for some reason.
Perhaps that he’d only become her student a few days ago; he was a very quick learner. Perhaps she was proud that a total novice had grown so much under her tutelage. Maybe she was just more invested in him because of the potion he’d given her that stilled her cravings completely when she sipped it. It had been an unusually fine gift from a new student.
It was possible it had been an unusually high quality love potion, though if it was it was both long lasting and had wide reaching effects. She didn’t just desire him physically (though she did). She wanted his approval, and to be useful to him. She didn’t feel the slightest affront at the idea of being drugged; if he could override her natural reaction so completely, he was such a gifted alchemist that he deserved anything he could get out of her. She’d feel the same way towards any member of the retinue she met at this point, but she had only met Mezorian so she grew increasingly obsessed with him alone.
“I did,” the novice in question boasted, “and now that I have I’d like to know if you’d be interested in meeting more privately. I’d like to discuss the next steps between us. The rest of my education, and perhaps more?”
His words were innocent enough, but he was looking at her breasts as he said it, trying to be surreptitious. She leaned forward so he could see them better, subtly pushing them up with one forearm. If what he wanted was to look at her cleavage, she wanted to help him with that.
“Of course. I’d be happy to assist in any way I can.” She leaned forward with a manic gleam in her burning green eyes. “My chambers are very private. We could discuss anything you’d like, there.”
“Great.” Mezorian squeaked, bravado gone. “Let’s do that.”