NOVEL SIMPLE Wake up in the morning feeling like a triple amputee
6/6 Morning
Lillibeth was proud to gaze upon the towering Nerubian woman before her. She was probably strong in her own right, but far more importantly she represented success in Lillibeth’s mission. She’d finally been in an appropriate position to leverage the company assets at her disposal. Ras Frostwhisper had been only too happy to submit while under the effects of a seal of joy. Darkmaster Gandling’s subservience to the Barovs was made absolute with a pact stamp. Marduk Blackpool had been only too happy to undergo a procedure that would let him feel physical pleasure again once the rabbit insignia was used on him, and now she would be a powerful agent for the master. Kirtonos, now unknowingly without a single ally to call upon, was mentally overwhelmed by several dozen necromancers while he feasted on a cauldron of blood willingly donated from all the children in Twilight Grove.
Scholomance was still ostensibly in service to the Scourge; maybe a quarter of the student body were actually captured, and the puppets of the Lich King would turn upon them if they dared open rebellion. That didn’t matter to the Company; if it came to a fight, Lillibeth’s servants would win handily, so the mission was completed. No one among the faculty was left to ask questions. The group of researchers from Naxxramas that were arriving later today would be both a headache and an opportunity, but Lillibeth was confident in her ability to present them as a gift for the master.
“Welcome, sister. The master will be pleased. Is there anything you require?”
“Biomass.” The towering being noted Lillibeth’s confusion. “Blood. Meat. Bone. The remains of the living.”
The Dread Necromancers eyes lit up. “Oh wonderful! We’ve been getting shipments of disassembled Silithid corpses and didn’t know what to do with them!”
••••••••••
I sat at a table in the Scarlet Monastery library, waiting for classes to begin. Lividia and Aegwynn had helped me get set up after breakfast, and Aegwynn was staying nearby while I did my standard book keeping. She was curled up with an ancient tome of lore she’d penned herself, and having quite a lot of fun relearning her own insights. She seemed perkier than the grumpy milf I’d first met, but I couldn’t tell you if that was the dryad template or the fact that she was able to approach something she loved like a newbie again.
Yesterday could have gone better, but it certainly could have gone worse. Nefarian had presumably pulled out everything of particular value in his lab based on the lack of powerful gear, but thankfully some things were left behind in the scramble. He had a refinery that could strip the trace elementium out of dark iron, and as luck would have it the resulting pile of metal bars were not considered the highest priority during evacuation. Most had been squirreled away, but there were enough ingots left next to a work station for the arcanite buoy.
Speaking of constructing items that allow me to fight raid bosses, the Windseeker’s wraps were in the caring hands of the Earthen Ring. They had been able to harvest enough residual energy from the Molten Core to potentially resurrect him. Hopefully, he’d be amenable to a group of shaman resurrecting him and handing him a friendship bracelet. If he turned out to be unfathomably ungrateful, Ragnaros had shown how a powerful being could slip out of time stop, but a team of 9 Guardians should be able to keep him locked down for most of a minute with coordination and forewarning.
I put out orders for a new initiative. Everyone of exceptional skill in any field was to acquire at least 4 promising apprentices and start training them. I already didn’t have anyone strictly useless in my retinue, so it wasn’t too hard for my big names to find people they wouldn’t need to train from scratch. Everyone of a lower tier of power was to find someone, anyone, to teach them a useful skill and dedicate an hour per day to it. For people who were currently non-combatants, I encouraged them to take up craft skills. I didn’t have enough leatherworkers, alchemists, blacksmiths, enchanters, or tailors to use the resources I was gathering. The general mind rune conditioning to pick up productive hobbies was still in play, but this new order would encourage the members of the retinue to focus a bit more on improvement rather than just relaxing productively.
The obvious exceptions were the people working on Theramore. Tony and Whitemane were there already, but from what I’d been told it had been an absolute slaughter. Normal people, even elite guards, didn’t have much they could do against shadowflame. Even worse were the reports of a two headed purple dragon that could somehow turn people into dragonspawn in the field. The attack had started as a group of four dragons descending on the center of town, but within minutes the populace had been twisted into bloodthirsty undead born of shadowflame and loyal chromatic dragonspawn obediently slaughtering their friends and family.
There was nothing I could personally do about any of that right now. I had a freshly regrown penis and my upper arm was starting to grow back thanks to troll regeneration, but I was absolutely not going into the field in this state. Speaking of my penis; I’d heard that if you cut off an extremity it would grow back a little bigger. Don’t believe it. No noteworthy changes to little Erich have manifested.
I even had a new regional upgrade to purchase for killing Rend. The actual reward was even good. Aggressive initiations meant that members of my retinue sexually dominating people in necklaces would accelerate capture. I honestly wasn’t sure if that would be universally applicable, but I knew that Titan constructs were at least sexual enough for two of them to have an absolutely disastrous affair, so it wasn’t out of the question that I could get Archaedes or Ironaya in the mood. Normal prisoners would likely be happy to discover that Dommes were going to start living up to their names, at least. The Seduction spell would ensure compliance, and the right implanted kinks would ensure domination.
I moved on to missions. I was systematically moving through the regions, starting from the northern tip of Kalimdor to pick up every regional mission and the tasty tasty upgrades they brought. The peaceful Druidic haven of Moonglade was next.
Ghost Rider
Have sexual intercourse with Sindrayl, the caretaker of Nighthaven’s hippogryphs, while undead.
Reward: temptress bell, mission ticket
“Aelthalyste. How reliably can you make someone want to have sex with someone they wouldn’t normally be attracted to? I need an elf to fuck someone undead. Yeah, she’s a civilian as far as I can tell. Probably military trained, since she’s a night elf, but not a druid or anything. She is in a town full of Druids though. Good. Make it happen.” With that handled, I moved on to today’s moderate mission.
Welcome to the Machine
Kill Sister Hatelash, leader of the Windfury Harpies in northern Mulgore. You will be penalized if a member of your retinue is within 100 yards of her at the time of her death.
Reward: 1 credit, Template Stacking: Sister Hatelash
Ooh? Template stacking instead of swap? Sir, you have my attention. It wasn’t likely to be anything too exciting, but I could just drop that on anyone who might be able to use a little extra power. Plus Mulgore is a place where I haven’t already gotten a regional mission. The only difficulty was the harsh penalty requirement, which wasn’t as big of a deal as you might think. I was a faction leader now. I needed to think like one. By hiring random unaffiliated people to go and kill the leader of an enemy faction that my own guards could easily tear to shreds.
“Hamuul! Hey. I need someone dead, but it can’t be you or any other member of the retinue who does it. Do you have some trustworthy and powerful friends who can go to the north and kill a specific harpy? Sister Hatelash. Oh, you know about her? Good, good. Twenty gold bounty and some magic jewelry to whoever comes back with her head. Yes I know I’m overpaying, I want it done fast. I dunno, tell them Sylvanas posted the bounty. People trust her.”
I finished up by properly spending over 9000 energy and 1400 essence by finally going all in on building units. Seven stone giants, seven huntresses, the final offensive upgrade for non-elf units, thirty more wisps, and another tree of life to tap in for Emeriss at Valhalla. I dropped another ancient of war and moon well to keep it company, and found the member of my retinue that looked the most like Fry from Futurama to buy out the entire stock of the ancient of wonders for me.
When Doan and my fellow students, including Onyxia and Eva, arrived, I was feeling pretty good. I’d only just now seen how much Naxxramas had been appraised to be worth. I’ll probably be able to get the Horde fully funded soon at this rate. Hmm. Was there anything else of equal value I could claim and lease? Also… what am I going to do with this ritual rod?