Weeaboo's Unfortunate Isekai: The Necromancer's Gacha

I couldn’t bring myself to look at Mika’s character sheet. Somehow I knew that whatever I read, I would become violent. The Blue Roses too- would they be described as dancers? Entertainers? Somehow I doubted the developers would acknowledge that they were so Ride or Die for their boss, death and personality obliteration wasn’t enough to break their loyalty. Pains in the neck though they were.

I slapped my cheeks. Moping wouldn’t solve anything. Violence, that’s what solved problems. Gratuitous, unreasonable, violence.

Plans for the day… hmm. I definitely needed to keep clearing the dungeon. I wouldn’t go crazy with it- just invest one time unit, clear another building on that burning street. I also needed to harvest resources and build new defenses. I’d been having a lot of success with stake fields, abbatis and a palisade, but my paranoia was flaring. There was only so far that would be able to carry me.

I’d have to consult with my new Worker Marci and my new Front Line combat engineer Rakim, find out what they thought was doable. They were high enough level that some degree of communication was possible. Should I send Rache out to scout again? Dungeons were apparently rare, but a new resource site would be very welcome.

I walked back up to the Throne room. It remained an empty hole in space, with just the notice board pinned to the wall. Let’s see the missions of the day, shall we?

Check in bonus, get! Ten resonance crystals in the pocket. Any new notifications? No. Furniture store? Locked. There was a costume store, but it was also locked. Gnome Market? I didn’t know if there was anything I actually needed to buy. I checked the day’s missions. Timber collection, survive the wave, Ah! There was a mission to continue exploring. Guess Rache was going for a ride after all. Nothing about unlocking new furniture, unfortunately.

Not much in the way of missions. Come on, devs. That was a classic way to drive the plot! Also gets the players hooked on the dopamine of opening lots of things. No wonder I had never heard of their game.

I sighed, and called Versai, Rakhim and Marci up. Might as well have the meeting in here. I tried to get my head straight. Put myself in a Tower Lord mindset. They might be… eeeh… biologically? Incapable of disobeying, but that didn’t mean I shouldn't be a leader. Just the opposite. They needed me to lead. I tried to remember some good examples. Not a lot. Vinland Saga had some… okay… ones.

Technically Gendo Ikari was a great leader, but… maybe not him. For reasons. King Bradley? I would work for him. Real lead from the front homunculus.

Huh. Yeah. Word of the day right there- homunculus. Maybe I should get an eyepatch?

“This is the situation- We need to gather resources, improve our defenses, identify new opportunities, and keep on exploring the relic site, aka, the dungeon. I’m only investing one time block into the exploration, so that brings us down to four orders. Rache is going to be off exploring the area around the tower some more, so that brings us down to three. How do we use those three orders to best defend ourselves when tonight’s wave hits?”

They all stared back at me blankly. There weren’t even crickets.

I groaned. “Versai, I know damn well that you, of all people, can respond to a question like that.”

“I can’t, actually. Not in the way you want. Nothing that could be construed as telling you what to do. There is a tiny bit of wriggle-room on some things, but it’s pretty strict.”

Huh. That fit. Irritating, but it fit.

“Alright, let's try this another way. Rakim, what do you think of our current defenses?”

“They exist.” Rakim shrugged. “No such thing as a perfect defense. You tailor them to your specific situation and needs.”

“Given the current forces at our disposal, would they be adequate for stopping the next wave?”

“Don’t know, Sir.”

Right, right. Dumb question.

“You said that you can make defenses. What kind of defenses?”

“I can build walls- rammed earth, reinforced concrete, stone, whatever. Just need the materials. I can also dig trenches, which is a more technical job than you might think. I can build moats, divert rivers, set deadfalls, pit traps, explosive traps, all kinds of nasty things. Again, I just need the right resources.”

She took a deep breath. She had her hair pinned up behind her. I would have thought long hair would look unmilitary, but pinned up like that? She was competence personified.

“I can also make bunkers and pill-boxes, as well as other fortifications. And build roads, but that seems less relevant.”

I nodded at that. “Marci, what kinds of resources can you gather around here?”

“Trees. Dirt. Rubble.” She shrugged. And stopped.

“You would need a scout to find you a place to mine for stone or metal?”

“Yep.” She nodded. Higher star or not, she didn’t seem eager to speak.

“Could you build fortifications with the dirt or rubble?” I asked.

“Sure.”

I looked over at Rakim.

“Rammed earth and rubble fortifications are a lot more common than you might think. All the biggest city walls were made that way, and just clad with stone or brick. Dirt’s way better than stone at absorbing impacts.” She nodded calmly. “With enough dirt or rubble, or both, I can start building much better fortifications than what you have now.”

“Big project?”

“Oh yeah. We are talking literal tons of dirt here. Depending on the size of the fortifications and the amount of support I get, could be ten, fifteen?”

So all my orders for two or three days. Yikes.

“Alright, let’s figure out what we are working with first. RACHE!” I yelled. She trotted up the stairs. Could she drive her motorcycle up the stairs? I shook my head. “Orders. Explore the area east of the Tower. If I tell you to look for something specific, are you more likely to find it?”

She tilted her head quizzically. “Chromed lightning?”

No? Yes? Wha?

“Scout to the east of the Tower.”

“Chromed lighting!” She yelled happily and ran off.

So “Chromed lightning” is a yes? Or orders received? I’m still confused.

“Right. So. While that’s happening. Time to go on our next dungeon crawl. I’m changing the team up this time. Versai, Rakim, Kim, Pammy and a Mika. You are with me.”

I took a deep breath. “Let's plunder a battlefield. Start Expedition!”

The dungeon, the former Floating Quarter of Gradden March, looked more or less unchanged. The town had that same Studio Ghibli look, by which I mean, it was all things that looked European, but they were jumbled together in a way I had never actually seen in Europe.

I could feel my skin beginning to crawl the more I looked at it. Like a fist sized spider looking up at you from the toilet bowl. It almost certainly wasn’t real, but it was real enough to cause portions of your anatomy to retract all the way back up into your lungs.

It took me a minute, standing there surrounded by the frozen fire, to figure it out- the uncanny valley effect. Real enough to be creepy. Not real enough to be completely plausible.

There were three entrances to buildings off the burning street- one on the right, two on the left. There was an enormous barricade at the end of the street, clearly intended to be impassable. I had a strong suspicion that I was looking at the boss arena. We had already cleared the building on the right- time to go left.

I pointed to what was clearly intended to be a gambling hall- the sign was lit with the frozen flames, clearly showing a mug with dozens of dice spilling from it.

“Kim, make us a hole. When she does, Rakim, breach the door. Versai, you are first in, shield up and ready to rock.” I looked around. They all looked a lot calmer than I felt. “Ready? GO!”

They moved like they had rehearsed it a hundred times before. A hole in the fire burst open, and in less than a second Rakim was there. She shoved a prybar in between the door and the frame and slammed her body backwards, smashing the door open and pulling herself out of the way at the same time. Versai had her shield up and rushed in, Rakim and Kim close behind her.

“Mika, Pammy, in with me!”

The room was a series of small square tables, bigger than at the Blue Roses, with what looked like a few table games setup. Nothing as recognizable as roulette or craps, but clearly special made tables.

A few things happened very quickly. Six headless men in black trousers, a white shirt and black vests had stood from various tables, and were throwing knives at Versai. Rakim knocked over one of the tables, lay down behind it and got her rifle up. Mika jumped in front of me and planted her pavaise, her metal doughboy helmet reflecting the light of the swinging chandelier. And I? Stood there like a moron.

It took me a very long second to kneel down behind Mika. Kim was lying flat next to Rakim as Versai rushed to close with the knife flinging gamblers.

“Kim, buff and debuff. Mika, Rakim, prioritize anyone flanking Versai.

Pammy! Where is Pammy?!

I looked around desperately. She was standing, pressed against the doorframe, shivering. It looked like the Gamblers were ignoring her for now.

“Pammy, kneel down behind me! Now!”

She lurched towards me, the sudden movement alerting the gamblers. One flung a knife towards her.

She was a golem. Just four days old. She looked like she was twelve.

“NO!” I tried to lunge for her, to protect her tiny body with my own. Waiting to feel the knife sink into my back!. There was a tink noise, audible in between the cracks of Rakim’s rifle and the unsettlingly meaty chunk noises Versai was making.

“Never fear, Mika’s here!” She had raised her shield and blocked the knife. For her troubles, she caught two more in the gut. I hauled Pammy over, kneeling behind the almost nude Mika.

“Oh No! Where’s the ouchie?” Pammy quickly started healing Mika up. Versai had worked her way through the gamblers, now posting up by one of the entrances and chopping any that tried to come in. The room was cleared. A few seconds later-

“The hallway is empty now. Seems to be all of them.” Versai said. A casual flick of her long sword was enough to rid it of blood.

“Great. Great job everyone. I’m just going to… take a minute, here.” I couldn’t hyperventilate. I could hug my knees in shock. What had I been thinking? What had I been thinking!? They were dolls! Not real people, dolls. Even if they were the mutilated souls of dead people shoved into doll bodies, they were definitionally not alive. None of them would be saved if I died. They would all be instantly obliterated, for all I knew.

I squeezed my legs even harder. Trying to feel that animal reassurance.

“I told you. First thing I told you about the Five Stars and under. Don’t think of them as people.” Versai’s voice was tired. “It only leads to pain.”

“I know. I know! It was stupid. But she looks like a twelve year old school girl. And I saw that damn documentary about the Lilly Princess Corps and I didn’t want a child on my conscience!”

“The Lilly Princess Corps?”

“Long story you don’t have any context for. Schoolgirls, mostly in their early teens, were drafted as nurses during a brutal war. Lied to about what they would be doing. Many died. Many killed themselves rather than be captured. Not… a lot of them, in the grand scheme of things. So many were dying. It was just later, when their story got out. They were school girls, given little to no training, and sent into Hell. They were scared. They suffered. And then they died.”

Versai looked over at Pammy. “I’ve never figured out her story, but that sounds about right.”

“Yeah.”

“Doesn’t matter. She’s a doll now. And if you want to ever do anything for her, you have to live. And even if she dies ten thousand times, it doesn’t matter. You can just draw her from the pool again, with no memory of any of those deaths.”

“Yeah.”

I didn’t uncurl for a couple more minutes, but eventually I shoved up onto my feet.

“Kim, loot everything.” Fingers crossed. Ah, wait, was that in bad taste?

“Hey Boss, you should see this!”

“Oh, good loot?”

“Not good loot, boss. The BEST!”