Worst Stories Ever

Jimmithey Johnrey James (the schizo energy powered high school student), Jackie Hammy (the fat high school nerd turned magical girl), and Miss Milly (the assassin turned superhero) were walking around in a massive forest on the outskirts of the city.

They were searching for the King Cuck’s degenerate general named the Furry Führer. They had previously beaten him, but had left him alive for interrogation. But in order to keep him from escaping to his fellow general, Ms Milly had thrown him away! 

But thankfully, Jimmithey had just beat that Cuck King general, named Colonel Cosplay. But they had to act quickly, for the King Cuck’s army was acting fast and wanted Jimmithey. 

This was no longer any normal battle or fight, it was now a war. 

A Cuck War.

“Shit! Where the fuck is he?! I had just thrown him around here!” Milly screamed as she checked the tree she threw him under. 

It was dented, showing that she had thrown him into this tree with all of her force. But even then, all that was left were a few blood stains.

“Wait! I see a blood trail! Going this way!” Jackie yelled as she pushed a few branches aside, revealing the blood trail she was talking about. 

“Good job. Let’s go and look for this asshole!” Jimmithey said, following the bloody stains. 

As they continued to follow it, the smell of the forest only got worse and worse. They all began to cover their noses from the horrible scent.

“Why the fuck does it smell so damn bad?!” Jimmithey asked, coughing as he put his shirt over his nose.

“I have no idea. And it’s only getting worse…” Milly responded, covering her nose with her fingers.

Eventually, after a few minutes, they had reached the end of the trail and saw something horrible.

It was a chunk of large hairy, smelly, shit meat. It was red, brown and rancid. Blood was still spewing out of it, slightly pulsating every second.  Jackie nearly fell over from the sight, barfing into a nearby bush.

“What the fuck is that?! It looks like a pile of shit!” Jimmithey asked, covering his nose with his arm, his jaw slightly dropped.

“No… Fuck.. That’s the fucking Führer… Shit!!!” Milly screamed out as she slammed her fist into a nearby tree, cracking it in two. 

They now had no way of learning the King Cuck’s strength or any information about the other generals. This was a massive disadvantage, especially with the generals still searching for them!

“Who the hell did this?! T-they’re sick!!” Jimmithey asked as he went to help Jackie stand back up.

“I have no idea. It could’ve been another general, or it could’ve been something worse. But it doesn’t matter anymore. We have no lead. We need to go to another one of my hiding spots, an abandoned school. It’ll be where we can rethink. We have an advantage with Jackie’s magical girl powers, but it isn’t enough to fight the King.” Miss Milly said as she looked at the other two.

“Okay… Let’s just go… I don’t wanna be here anymore.” Jackie said as she covered her nose from the horrible smell, feeling even more nauseous. 

“I know. We have to go back through the city though. It’ll be a more efficient way. If we’re fast enough, we can get through it without being spotted by any lingering dildo ships. Alright everyone?” Milly asked as she crossed her arms. 

“Understood...” Jimmithey said, looking back at the bloody mess that the Führer was now.

If one of the generals who did this to their own ally and fellow general, what could they do to Jimmithey and his friends?

Milly began to sprint forward, reaching the high speeds she once ran at earlier. Jackie decided to fly next to her, going at a similarly fast speed. 

Jimmithey followed at the same time, using his schizo powers to enhance his legs. Despite the leg wound he got from earlier still getting healed, it still ached a bit.

As they began running off back to the city, a figure was watching them from afar, standing on a nearby tree branch. 

They were hidden in a black hood, crouching down. The only thing that was visible was the figure’s green hair and mouth, for they were wearing dark black sunglasses.

“The time is coming… And so will I… Heh… Just a bit longer… And Jimmithey will be mine…!” The figure said as he licked his lips, revealing a long and disgusting tongue. Green, acidic saliva dripped down from his mouth, falling onto the leaves below it. 

The figure’s energy began to flow out, causing the man to realize that he was getting too into it! He calmed down, his energy becoming invisible once again. 

Jimmithey sensed this energy as they were running, turning his head around for a second. But it seemed to have been nothing. He guessed that it was just his imagination. His schizo powers were a double edged sword at times, making it so he could have some silly delusions.

It wasn’t that bad whereas he actually was schizophrenic, but instead just a bit delusional. It’s been this way ever since the Cuck incident and his powers awakening. 

Jimmithey wondered why his weird abilities were even called Schizo powers. Maybe Milly’s weird name for it made more sense. He could ask her about it, but they had more pressing matters to deal with. 

“Hey. Jimmithey! Are you listening!?” Milly asked as she and Jackie both turned their heads around, side eyeing him.

“Huh? Oh, sorry Milly. I, um, I spaced out.” Jimmithey said as he continued following them, this time paying attention.

“It’s fine. As I was saying, we need more magical girl powers. Magical girl energy is the antithesis of degenerate powers, making it perfect for our current fight against these degenerate generals. The issue is, we can’t only rely on Jackie. She’s inexperienced and needs training. Training from an actual magical girl.” Miss Milly responded.

“Sorry everyone! But, who are we going to get help from? There are no more magical girls left in the city…” Jackie asked as she continued to run, using her new magical girl strength to move at faster speeds.

“That’s not necessarily true. We have one more option. We’re going to call Myusel. The last magical girl left.” Milly said sternly, looking back at the other two. This caused Jimmithey to instantly stop, slamming his feet into the ground.

“No. No fucking way!” Jimmithey yelled. Both Milly and Jackie stopped, walking right up to him.

“Jimmithey, I don’t know what happened between you two. But you can’t deny the fact that she’s strong and is someone we need in order to win. If we get her here, I promise she’ll never bother with you. Once this is over and King Cuck is dead, she’ll be gone and we can go back to our normal lives.” Milly responded, walking up towards him. Jimmithey clenched his fists and looked down at the grass under him.

“I-I’m sorry but there’s no fucking way. First of all, how can we even contact or find her? She’s out of the city for good, in who knows where. Second of all, she’s crazy! She’s a sex pest who would rather suck my dick than fight for what’s good. She’ll be worthless, hell, she’ll get us killed. And finally, Milly, she’s finally leaving me alone. I can live a peaceful life without her. Trust me! Fuck her and fuck that plan!” Jimmithey yelled, standing up to Milly. She scoffed and looked up in the sky, tapping her foot.

“You bring up good points and I understand your anger. But quite frankly, we are desperate, and we need her to win. Please Jimmithey, understand. I have her number, so I am going to call her. Okay?” Milly said as she put her hand on Jimmithey’s shoulder. But Jimmithey slapped her hand away and began to walk off.

“Fuck that! Milly, if you want her, I’m out of here! I’ll take care of this shit myself!” Jimmithey screamed as activated his powers, enhancing his legs. He ran off at incredible speeds, pushing dust and dirt back on the two of them.

“J-Jimmithey! Don’t leave!” Jackie screamed as he left them behind. Milly punched another tree in anger, shattering it in two. As it crashed down, making a massive THUMP noise, Milly put her hand on her face and sighed.

“Fuck! FUCK…. Jackie… It’s okay. He’ll come back.” Milly said as she began to calm down, continuing to tap her leg onto the ground. Jackie turned to her and patted her on the back.

“Well. It’s okay… It seems we’ll have to go behind his back, you know?” Jackie said with a nefarious smile on her face.

“S-shouldn’t you be against this and be on his side? You’re his best buddy. And I’ve only known you for like, half a day.” Milly asked, feeling a bit unsettled by Jackie’s villainous grin.

“Look at it this way. Jimmithey is right. Myusel isn’t a good person, she’s done unspeakably horrible things to him. If she didn’t do what she did, we may not be in this mess right now. He also has really bad feelings when she comes up. He’s justified in the way he feels. But, this is about more than just Jimmithey. This is about the world. And as a magical girl, my duty belongs with saving the world!” Jackie responded, doing a small magical girl pose.

“Okay, you’re right. I just hope he does forgive us… I’ll call her once we get out of the forest. I have her number right here from a notebook.” Milly said, pulling the note from her pocket. It had Myusel’s number on it, the paper being slightly ripped and damaged.

“Sounds good! My phone is a bit damaged from earlier, but I can fix it with my magical powers and computer smarts!” Jackie said, pulling her half broken phone from her pocket.

“Alright. Fix mine also if you can, please. By the way, where do you think Jimmithey is going though?” Milly asked as she pulled her cracked phone, handing it over to Jackie. 

She began to use her healing magic on the half broken phones, which began to reverse it back to its previous state. As she did this, she looked up at Milly and began to speak.

“I’d bet he’s going to check on his house. That’s where I’d go if I were in his shoes. My PC is at my house and all of my manga are there also. I swear if those cuck bastards touched my PC!” Jackie said as she stomped on the ground, slightly pissed off.

“Uh, sure.. We’ll check there. Let’s go, quick Jackie!” Milly said as she picked up the fixed phone from the floor, putting both it and the note back in her vest pocket.

“Hehe! Okay Milly!” Jackie said as she began flying forward, using her magic to blast forward. Milly followed her, sprinting as fast as possible.