Worthy Core

Chapter 174: A Deep Breath



The rest of the day was surprisingly quiet in Worthy Dungeon. Although it wasn't in one large mass the way they had arrived, in small groups throughout the morning and early afternoon almost all of the dungeon's guests made their departures. After all, hiking up to the place had been a rather spontaneous affair, and the vast majority of the Challengers still had rooms down at the Bastard where they were keeping their things - and were paying for the space to do so. The more serious parties had reports to file, the nobles had a scandal to manage, and even Sable and Lilly couldn't wait to tell Mother Elance all about what she had missed.

Taking advantage of this lull and somewhat worried that one might not come again for a while, Xenia decided it was time to see to some of Deylia's needs, both professional and emotional. Setting aside some of the vast amount of still-unused space available on Floor Five, the dungeon master carved out a new room and kept it intentionally very plain. Simple wood and bricks made up the floor and walls, with a few rugs and large pillows for comfort, but beyond that and some candles for light the room was left entirely unfurnished. When the Rabbit Priestess arrives through a shortcut portal, summoned by Guy, she peers around at the new space in a bit of confusion.

"Yes, Xenia? Guy said you wished to speak to me? ...Are we decorating a new room for the inn?"

Xenia shakes her head as she sits down on one of the pillows, cross-legged, and motions for Deylia to do the same across from her. "Nope - this room is for you. Or, well, it's a prototype of one. Thinking of making a connected living space on Floor Five for all the dungeon employees, hook up your apartment and Zappy's and the rabbit barracks to some shared space, so you don't just gotta deal with portals all the time. This'd be a room to add in there - a meditation room."

"Ah, I see." The rabbit takes a moment to claim her own seat, needing to adjust her robes a little to match Xenia's pose, and eventually returns to studying the room's design. "So, I've heard a little about meditation - I've heard certain religious orders do it? Or specific classes of some? I'm not familiar with the details, but I'm given to understand that it mostly involves...sitting very quietly, with your mind empty? Or in devotion of a particular deity, or some such?"

Her boss nods. "That's the broad strokes of it, yeah, though the actual practice of it's a little more involved."

"I see." Deylia awkwardly clears her throat. "Not that I know you particularly well as of yet, but...I'm a little surprised that you consider this to be an expertise of yours."

Xenia can't resist showing a grin. "Yeah, I get that a lot. Actually, before we get into it...how about we just talk? Not...dungeon spirit to dungeon guardian, or anything like that, but just woman to woman?" She pauses slightly before continuing. "I...look, I've put you through the wringer these past few days, I know it. Killing you, new body, new job, took you to meet a goddess, then put you in charge of customer service at the grand opening of a monster tavern...it's a lot. Too much. Neither of us asked for things to turn out this way, but if this is going to be our lives from now til the mountain falls over, we ought to do it on a good foundation. Am I right?"

Deylia lets that sink in for a moment before nodding. "I, well, I wasn't about to complain, exactly. You brought me back to life when you had no obligation to, and you took me to meet a goddess, which ought to be considered a positive, I think. But you're right. I sometimes feel almost dizzy when I look around and see where I am, see so many unfamiliar faces...many of them monstrous, including my own, at least to a certain extent. It would be nice to...slow down, a little?"

"Yeah, I can imagine. Learning meditation will definitely help with that, I think, but how about we start with something lighter? Say...I tell you how I learned to meditate, you tell me a bit about what it's like growing up in one of the local noble families? I'm familiar with nobles in general, but not so much the ones around here."

The Maid nods eagerly. "I've been wanting to hear more about your past lives! You and the others have given me the quick summary, and I understand much of it's far from pleasant to recall, but other parts do sound rather amazing."

"Ha, well...the one I'm about to discuss wasn't that amazing. Didn't slay a single dragon or nothin'. So, how to start...you've probably picked up by now that I've had my ups and downs, yeah? One really big down, but I've had plenty of existential moments throughout my career as a Reincarnator Extraordinaire, as y'might imagine. And there was this one time where it caught up to me in a life where I was born as a gnome girl."

Deylia's head tilts. "A...gnome? Is that some sort of monster?"

"Nah, picture...a dwarf but smaller, and less hair. Less stubborn, friendlier, slightly more likely to die in acts of insane stupidity." She pauses as it appears Deylia is about to say something, but the other woman wisely decides to remain silent. "Heh. I've seen gnomes in a few realms, but in this case I had the bad luck to be born as one in a world where they were dying out. As it happens, my family was the only gnome family in our town. Mostly humans, elves, centaurs, that sort of thing."

Deylia perks up. "Oh, I've heard of centaurs!"

"...Good to know. Might ask about that later. Anyways, the point is, this was real bad news for Xenia the Gnome."

"Oh? Did you get...bullied or something growing up? Face discrimination?"

"Nah, gnomes had a good rep. Problem was, my usual way of making it through life on a run involves, like, physical shit. Adventuring, mercenary work, occasional terms as a soldier...once in a while a table dancer for a weekend if I need some quick money, nothin' fancy." This time as Deylia is about to interrupt, Xenia quickly moves on. "It ain't that I can't learn magic, but I almost always need to start over from scratch every time, everywhere's got different rules and systems. Literal capital-s Systems, sometimes. And as for like...trades? Artisan skills? Book-learnin' shit?" The dungeon master frowns. "I've always been bad at that crap. Have been since Run Zero, barely made it through high school to be honest."

"...Ah, I see. You said gnomes were even smaller than dwarves?"

"That would be the problem, yeah. Maybe if the world'd been gnome-sized, but making it in a culture of humans? Sure, I could punch way above my weight, literally. But there's limits. Hard to be an adventurer if the average monster can swallow you in one bite. An' I've been swallowed by monsters, can't recommend it as a way to go. The vore folks got no idea what the fuck they're talking about."

This time Deylia has absolutely no idea what to say to that, and Xenia continues. "So, with my usual method of making a living cut off to me, the existential despair and depression hit me hard on that run. All 'who am I, really', and 'what's the point of me being here', so on and so forth. So...I figured for once I'd give religion a serious try."

"I can see how one in your position would be inclined to seek divine guidance. And you seem to be rather...familiar with deities."

"Well, I am these days, but back then the most contact I had with any was through SGA reps or your usual priests and all that. Anyhow, this was one of those realms with...let's call it low-anthropomorphic-level deities. Something like five 'spirits' that guided the world, basically supernatural forces of nature, you couldn't talk to them but if you were in tune enough, you could sense their will and maybe get on their good sides. Earn their version of a blessing - for example, there was a general purpose 'Life' spirit who might heal you, help you raise crops or animals and stuff like that, but you had to be so in tune with their natures that you sort of had some Life spirit inside of you."

Deylia's brow furrows. "That's interesting. Sounds much more high-effort than becoming a priest, but on the other hand, more...personal, I suppose?"

"Pretty much, not that the spirits had more than the vaguest sort of personalities. Anyways, I ended up signing on for a Monastery of Fate. The 'Fate' spirit managed luck, time, self-control, and even a bunch of aspects that helped keep huge empires running, or break them apart. Maintaining the roads, good or bad weather, things like that. Personally, I was in it to see if I could get a handle on my bad luck curse. Or at least try and get some control over how I keep bouncing around between random universes."

"I take it that didn't work out? But it appears you continue practicing your meditation skills regardless?"

Xenia nods. "I never did actually get in tune with Fate. Not that surprising, I suppose - it could take decades for it to really click, and, well...making it to thirty is usually a huge accomplishment for me. But even aside from that, I kinda got the feeling it was avoiding me." The luckless woman snorts. "I swear I could feel like I was almost there sometimes, and it'd just...run away from me. Like a fog getting blown away in the wind every time you get closer. Still, living at that monastery was a really good few years for me, generally speaking. Had to be one of the least violent runs I've ever had. It's still not really the sort of life for me, I think, but at the time I really needed the break, and it was...nice. Not having to worry about anything more serious than collecting food for dinner or keeping my space clean. Also, Fate Monks were huge into gambling, and the card nights could get pretty wild."

"...Really."

The former monk shrugs. "Takes all kinds, I guess. Anyhow, how about you? How'd you get signed up as a Maid?"

Seeing that it's her turn to share, Deylia takes a moment to collect her thoughts. "...Well. Our family, the Niyens, have been an ally of the Perlin family ever since the founding of the kingdom. Militarily, economically, and especially in marriage. Two of my aunts are Perlins or close cousins, as is one of my grandmothers. For those of us in the more minor houses, it's common for us to spend our adolescence in the service of one of the larger ones. My brother being a Squire, for example. Personally, at the age of ten I was sent to be Sansie's handmaiden, she being only one year older than I."

"Getting sent to work at ten, huh? What'd that even involve?"

Deylia chuckles at Xenia's concern. "Well, early on it was more of a formal way of assigning me to be her friend. Occasionally, especially around formal events and that, I'd have some responsibilities to ensure she was prepared, and to make sure she kept up on her studies, and so on. But up until I was fifteen or so we were mostly just companions - she, I, and a few other young girls."

"What happened at fifteen?"

"Well, that was about the age for a young noblewoman to get serious about her Challenger class. Almost every noble in the Rainlands has one, you know. There's no legal requirement, but it's practically an expectation, and failing to reach at least Advanced level will usually mean getting passed over for getting much of an inheritance. We'd of course been taking some introductory courses the previous few years in both combat and magic, but both Sansie and I were clearly more suited for magical talents. Sansie chose to specialize in offensive magics, and so I took up supportive magics with which to assist her."

"Man, you started your team-building way early. You said there were other handmaidens as well?"

The Maid nods. "There were, but by time we were nineteen two of them had already married and moved to their new households. The others...well, they were fine young women, but they struggled somewhat. They both achieved Advanced rank by time they were twenty but retired from the career after that."

"Not for you, though? Retiring or getting hitched?"

"Sansie is...very good with her magic. Perhaps the best in House Perlin of her generation. Being able to help her with her successes...it always filled me with a great deal of pride. While I'm not drawn to the violence so much, we've been Challenging together for eight or nine years, now. That's...it's quite a close bond. Hard for me to break, even now, I suppose."

Xenia gives an understanding nod. "I'll say. You said you were twenty-five now? And you've lived and worked with her for fifteen years, then? I can see how you'd be pretty close."

Deylia sighs slightly. "Indeed. I...understand your position of neutrality when it comes to the noble houses of the land, but I have to admit, I still personally hope that House Perlin is granted control of these lands. And perhaps even that Sansie might take some role in their administrations...but I suppose that's something of a fantasy."

"Yeah, I don't know nearly enough to go wading into those waters - and I might want to hear your take on the politics involved in more detail later, I suppose. If I hafta. But for now - let's get to meditation, yeah? Get you nice and relaxed, and all opened up for Kahlia's touch! If you're ready?"

The Priestess-in-training eyes her boss a little before answering. "...I am ready, yes. Although...I do have one more question. You say you often die young...how did Xenia the Gnome meet her end, if I might ask?"

Xenia shrugs. "Gnomes were dying out there for a reason, y'know? I was walking home one day, and a griffin swooped down and ate me."

"...That's horrible!"

"That's what I'm saying! Vore, don't even think about it, kids."


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