Zoey’s Story

“Part of the process of creating digital minds is understanding what a mind actually is. And the fact is that human minds still aren’t fully understood. I had been stumped in my AI development project for a while because of this. I had to sift through a lot of different ideas on human minds and consciousness. It was while I was watching a video on “dual consciousness” conditions for people who have had their brains “split” that something clicked. 

Basically, people who suffer from seizures would sometimes have the corpus callosum, the piece of their brain that connects the two halves, cut. This would stop the seizures, but it would cause a sort of side-effect. The two halves of the brain disconnected, create two consciousnesses inside the same head. You literally have the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing. 

It sent me down the rabbit hole of looking at the bicameral mind theory or the society of mind theory and pluralism… and the more I read the more I began to think about my AI modeling as being too singular. Humans are social creatures by their very natures. What if our own consciousnesses were, in essence, a community in their own right? So, instead of trying to create one godlike AI, I worked to assemble a whole host of them all working together to become something greater. I found that if you created a collection of sub-nodes they would collectively create self-awareness.

And why stop there? With parallel webs of AI clusters, you could create a number of them with different specializations working together. This was the initial platform which created RoEM. Our game was literally built on the idea that the whole could become more than the sum of its parts.”

-Taylor Klein, RoEM LLC Chief Information Officer, December 2034, Aggredit AMA

_____________________________________

When we stepped back into Anika and Beth’s apartment, we found it more crowded than we left. LD had stayed to talk with their mom, Wanda, but even still, four new people were now crowding the living room, their eyes instantly snapping onto us as we opened the door.

I recognized Molly and Hanna, both of them stopping short of a conversation with Anika and Beth. But I all but dived into the familiar pair of girls, fully throwing myself on top of them. No matter how much pain I was in, being separated from them for another second was worse.

I couldn’t stop sobbing as I gripped her around their shoulders. For physical and emotional support.

Even as I positively soaked through Paige’s shirt, I needed to hold her as closely as I possibly could, for fear of losing her again. I felt her body shudder as she quietly cried as well, her tears splashing onto me. I felt Ruth embrace me on the other side, warm and real. And behind me, I felt Gavin place a hand on my back in comfort.

They were back. They were safe. They were here.

“I’m so sorry,” Paige choked out, squeezing me tight. “Jesus fuck… I was coming back for you, Zoey… I swear to god I was going to get you.”

“She had to get me first,” breathed Ruth, rubbing my back as she sniffled through tears. “She didn’t forget about you. Neither of us did.”

I shook my head. “It’s okay…” I managed to choke out, “I just… I missed you so much…”

“I missed you, too, little sis,” Paige gasped, “I was so worried.”

Me and them went back and forth like that for more time than I could count… until finally we ran out of tears and sat down on the couch together. Paige to my left, Gavin to my right and Ruth on the other side of Paige. It was a tight squeeze, but neither of us cared. I took both of their hands in my own, quietly terrified that they would be torn away from me again.

“It’s good to see you again, Zoey,” said Molly, smiling as she held Hanna’s hand. “And I mean that. Paige was worried sick about you when she showed up for help at my salon.”

“Slept in front of the damn place,” Paige sighed, shaking her head. “Didn’t have any other way to get in touch without a phone. I was terrified for you, Zoey. Ruth, too. But I knew I needed help.”

“More than happy to help a fellow queer in need,” said Molly, with a wink. “Up to and including being the wheels for a quick getaway."

“It was a close call,” whispered Ruth, chewing her lip for a moment. “I saw Paige outside the house. We talked a little outside the window and tried to plan things out. But then Dad saw me trying to leave the house with a bag over my shoulder and I had to make a break for it. Dad was trying to find his gun as soon as he saw me and her outside. Mom was the one that actually tried to stop him and gave us time to escape.”

“He shot at us…” shuddered Molly. “He missed, but I couldn’t believe that someone would do that to his own daughter.”

I frowned. I was grateful that Dad hadn’t had time to fetch his gun, but I could absolutely believe that he would have been willing to risk my death to keep me from escaping.

“Suffice to say, I got some interesting new additions to our household and a hell of a story when I got back from work,” sighed Hanna, rolling her eyes. “Thankfully, Anika dropped me a line and we put two and two together. Literally, I suppose.”

“We’re one big happy family once again,” said Molly, beaming.

“Well,” Hanna nodded to herself, “I guess we sort of need to figure things out a little bit now that everyone’s here.” She squeezed Molly’s hand and looked up to Anika and Beth. “They can’t stay here. They can’t stay with me and Molly either. Not forever. I talked to a lawyer friend and she said that we could be charged with ‘contributing to the delinquency of a minor’ if we keep sheltering them like this. We need a more permanent solution.”

“Also, we don’t really have the room in our place anyway,” said Molly helplessly. “Poor Paige had to sleep on the floor.”

Anika crossed her arms over her chest. “We took in Jade until she turned 18. Fuck the law, fuck logistics, we do what’s right. They can stay here as long as they need. I’ll sleep in the goddamn bathtub if I need to.”

“And I celebrate you for it… but it’s a little more serious than that,” Hanna shook her head. “Don’t forget that… Gavin?” she looked to him for confirmation which he offered with a curt nod. “Yeah… he’s got a warrant.” 

“What?!” me and Gavin cried out in unison. We had been hoping that maybe they might not have put the pieces together… but it was apparently too much to hope for.

Jade sighed, pulling up a screen. “Sorry. He got ID’d. Assault and kidnapping. That’s not something the pigs are suddenly going to let go.”

“It was self defense, though,” said Gavin, putting an arm over my shoulder. “I fought to protect Zoey.”

“And technically, I was the one who hit Dad first,” I said, raising my cast up. “How come Gavin is getting charged and not me?”

“Take a guess,” sighed Gavin, pinching at his skin.

Hanna nodded miserably. “Look, assault aside, Gavin is still on the hook for kidnapping.” 

“It’s not kidnapping!” I cried out instantly. “I ran away with him! I wanted to go!”

“The law says that Zoey is a minor and that even if she went willingly, her dad has a right to take her back,” said Hanna wearily. “Assault is anywhere from one to ten years. But kidnapping is double that.”

Gavin squeezed my hand. I saw that he looked like he was going to be sick. 

“Could we run?” Paige asked, “Me and Ruth have money from moonlighting. We can head north. Like… Chicago is a sanctuary city, right? They won’t extradite runaways for LGBTQ+ child abuse.” 

“For you, Ruth and probably Zoey… sure,” said Hanna, nodding. “You’d be runaways which is not exactly a crime. And Zoey hasn’t technically been charged with assault. Gavin, though… kidnapping and assault… even for the right reasons… there’s no guarantee that the courts won’t send him back here. Those are felonies.”

Gavin swallowed hard. “I… I’ll stay here then.”

“NO!” I exploded, wrapping my arms around him. “I’m not going to leave you behind, Gavin! Either we both go or I won’t go! I’m not leaving you behind!”

“I don’t have a choice, Zoey!” he shouted back. “They locked up Dad! Unless I turn myself in, then it’s never going to stop!” He forced out a sigh. “I… I need to end this.”

“We’re not doing that!” I shot back, furiously. “If you stay, then I’ll stay. I’ll confess or whatever. But you’re not doing this alone!”

“While your Romeo and Juliet impression is cute, we might need to look for more practical options,” said Jade, as she stared into her phone projection absently. “Right now, most of the case against Gavin relies on the testimonies of Zoey’s mom and dad. The pigs didn’t get any other eyewitnesses or evidence because they were sure it was open and shut. If they lose her dad’s testimony, the case would probably fall apart because her mom didn’t see much. We might have a case, especially if Zoey were to testify.”

Anika raised an eyebrow as she stared at Jade. “And… how would we stop her dad from testifying?”

“We kill him,” said Jade coldly. "Obviously."

On some level, I might have had some objections to that plan, but truthfully, I felt so little care for that man that I couldn’t muster the will to verbalize said objections.

The silence that followed her words clearly indicated that the others in the room felt the same way.

“Fine, I’ll say it,” sighed Beth impatiently, “No, murder is not the solution.”

“Says you,” interjected Paige, narrowing her eyes. “I’ll do it.”

“I’ll dig the grave,” said Ruth cheerfully.

“I was thinking more along the lines of a woodchipper to hide the body,” said Jade with a smirk.

I snorted, somehow amused by the image of my dad being fed into a woodchipper.

It was fair to say that there was no love lost between us, because there had never been any to begin with.

“Girls,” said Beth impatiently.

“Beth’s right… you’re being silly,” said Anika authoritatively, putting her hands on her hips. “You need the right chemicals to dissolve the body or else you’ll get traced back by forensics.”

“Anika!” snapped Beth, rounding on her girlfriend. “Not helping!”

 “What about her mom?” asked Molly, frowning. “Would she be willing to testify to defend Zoey?”

“You’ve clearly never met our mom,” sighed Paige, shaking her head. “She’s a fucking coward. Through and through.”

“She’s scared of Dad,” I added, still feeling a measure of sympathy. “I don’t want to think about what he’s been doing to her since we’ve been gone.”

“Well… what if he got caught hurting her?” asked Ruth, massaging her chin. “If he got busted for DV, then the cops probably wouldn’t bother defending him. It would also put doubt on her testimony.”

“You forgot Rich… Richard Fritz,” I sighed, shaking my head. “He’s ride or die for Dad. He’d do anything to protect him. The cops aren’t going to be any help”

“Holy fucking shit, your dad is friends with him?!” Jade gasped, her jaw agape in horror. “Fucking Fritz?!”

“Yeah… he goes to our church,” replied Ruth, raising an eyebrow.

“And Dad’s an old childhood friend of his,” groaned Paige. She fell silent, blinked in surprise and turned around to stare at Jade. “Wait… how do you know him?”

“Fritz worked with my Dad at the precinct. And while Dad was absolutely a piece of shit, even he would say that Fritz was a goddamn Nazi. Called Dad every slur in the book for being Latino,” she said, frowning. “Way I hear it, he’s got a record a mile wide. Not that Internal Affairs did jack shit about any of it. I would absolutely believe that Fritz would cover for his dipshit friends.” She blinked. “Wait.” She immediately went back to her phone, combining for data. “Oh… shit.”

“What?” asked Aiden, stepping up beside her.

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice…” She snorted. “It looks like ol’ Fritz is the investigating officer for Zoey and Gavin’s case. Jesus fuck, that’s not a conflict of interest or anything.”

“Would Rich get in trouble for that?” I asked, peering at her for any sign of hope. “Get it thrown out?”

“He should get in trouble, but given how fucking crooked the PD is here, he probably won’t,” groaned Jade, shaking her head. “It’s not like any attorney for the state is going to do jack shit about it.”

“For the state, no,” said Hanna, her features hardening in determination. “But you’d better believe I have some lawyer friends who’d love to take a crack at this. Police corruption carries some big publicity and payouts.”

“So… am I going to jail or not?” asked Gavin, uncertainly.

“TBD,” sighed Hanna, frowning, “But let me talk to some folks. Can you get me a copy of that report, Jade?”

“As long as you don’t tell anyone where you got it,” she said, tapping on the projection to pass it to Hanna. “I’ve grown kind of attached to my illegal access to the pig files, you know? It’s the only thing my dad ever left me of any real value.”

“In the meantime, Paige and Ruth? You want to come home with us?” asked Molly, turning to the pair of them.

Paige shook her head. “No. I want to stay with Zoey. I owe her that.”

Ruth hitched a thumb at her. “I’m staying too, then.”

“Just for the night,” said Beth, gently. “We have to find a more permanent living situation.”

“We’d have to clean up the place a little first, but we could take two of them,” offered Riley, grinning. “Gotta admit, I’m sort of invested now.”

“The more the merrier,” said Aiden with a smirk.

“That's not a bad idea, actually. We probably want to shuffle them around a little bit between addresses,” said Jade with a nod. “Makes it harder to track them that way.”

“I’ll keep talking to my lawyer friends in the meantime,” Hanna said, nodding. “They might have some kind of path forward for you all. But for now, I’m heading back home. I’ll stop by tomorrow morning and we can reconvene then.”

Molly waved at us, smiling wide. “We’ll get you all through this. I promise.”

“In the meantime, I guess we’re hosting a good old fashioned queer sleepover,” chuckled Anika. 

I blinked in surprise. A sleepover? I’d never had one before. Especially not with a bunch of girls and especially not with a boyfriend. But I had to admit that I was excited about the idea.

“Woo! Be gay! Do crimes!” cheered Jade.

“I’ll order some pizza,” chuckled Beth.

Aiden and his dad Riley left to clean up their house for possible guests and Molly and Hanna left to do more legwork for us.

Before departing, both of them embraced me, which was an unusual experience from the two men. 

For so much of my life, I had learned to be afraid of men. Dad was the biggest masculine figure in my life and had done so many awful things. Pastor Benny and his son Jacob were absolute monsters. The idea of being in the arms of an older man my dad’s age should have been terrifying.

But it wasn’t. Despite being a man, he was still kind and warm and caring. Strong and smart, but using those traits to help others rather than to establish dominance.

And Aiden, who had turned away from a girlhood that didn’t fit, was fitting into the same shape. A masculinity that didn’t inflict pain. Something apart from the miserable boyhood I’d known. I still had no desire to go back to being a guy, but I could see in Aiden and his father that there was something of value in it.

As they waved goodbye, I turned to Gavin as well. I guessed he was technically a guy, too. His gender had never really filled my brain as I’d spent all that time with him over the years. Even if he’d been a girl, I likely would have fallen in love with him. It was the connection that we shared that drew me into his embrace. The closeness of our souls that made his physical touch so much more wonderful.

I sighed, leaning up against him. He curled his arm over my shoulder gingerly, almost without thinking.

As Paige and Ruth collapsed into one another and me and Gavin did the same, I tried to think.

It was strange to see everyone so casually coming together and doing whatever it took to make things right. The law didn’t matter. Money didn’t matter. What mattered was making sure that we looked out for one another. That justice was served at all costs. It was, to them, as easy as breathing.

I could only hope that it got easier.

“God… Gavin, it’s been forever,” sighed Paige, looking over her shoulder to us as Ruth nestled into her collarbone. “How many years has it been?”

“Three,” he said, stroking at my hair. “Thanks to your Dad and his pet cop.”

“I heard you made him pay for it. Slammed his head into a car door?” she said with a smile.

“I slammed him into his head into the side of the car,” I said, too happy for the horrors of that fight to properly register in my brain. “Gavin slammed his hand in a car door. Six times, I think.”

“You were counting?” snorted Gavin, shaking his head.

“If he was your dad, you’d have counted it too,” I sighed, nuzzling closer to him.

“Yeah… well… given what’s probably happening to my dad, it wasn’t enough,” he sighed, his voice hard and cold.

We winced, and I planted a kiss on his cheek softly. Another silence settled onto us like a suffocating wet blanket. I glanced absently outside the window. The sun was beginning to set. Was it really so late?

I’d need to get to sleep at some point. Without my REMbox. I shook my head.

“It’s weird… maybe it’s just from playing RoEM for so long, but somehow everything that happened today doesn’t feel real. This was a million times more terrifying than facing down an invading army of grief-eaters and yet somehow, it still doesn’t feel real,” I said absently staring out the window.

“I know, right?” breathed Gavin, leaning up against me, “Jesus fuck, when we were fighting with your dad, I nearly reached for that sword you made for me. It all sort of bleeds together. Dreams and reality.”

Paige snorted. “God, and here I thought that you two were having fun while me and Ruth were moonlighting. We’ve been using our REMboxes for work.”

“For what it's worth, I think Molly does both actually,” said Beth, stepping out of the kitchen. “She livestreams retro games from her REMbox for her viewers. Gaming for fun and profit.”

“God, I wish I had something that interesting, “ sighed Ruth, shaking her head. “I spent my nights working as a virtual receptionist for a company back in Israel.”

Paige shifted in her seat, looking off to the side. I looked up at her curiously. “What kind of work did you do on your REMbox?”

Paige closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head. “Some stuff I don’t want to talk about. Ruth had marketable skills given that she spoke Hebrew. I… uh… didn’t. The work paid well and I’ll never have to do it again. That’s all that matters.”

I stared at her, seeing a deep disgust that was barely contained in her features. Ruth hugged her around her shoulders. I had a… guess at what she might have been doing. There were some dark corners of the REMnet and some hacked together sims that had some deeply screwed-up expectations. I shuddered to think that Paige had been subjecting herself to that night after night.

“I’ll actually be grateful to get a real night’s sleep,” sighed Ruth, leaning on Paige, “One next to my girlfriend and not having to deal with shitty customers in Tel-Aviv. I might as well sell that stupid box at this point.”

“You still have it?” I asked, my heart skipping a beat.

“Sure,” said Ruth, nodding. “I got a little more notice, so I was able to pack up before making a run for it.” She reached down into a bag beside the couch and pulled out her REMbox. My eyes widened in awe.

I bit my lip, “Uh… if you’re not going to be using it…”

She nodded and handed it over to me. “It’s all yours.”

I literally hugged the small box of plastic and circuitry. I felt the familiar texture of the crown set into the case. The vents for heat dispersal. The buttons and the plastic REMbox-engraved logo.

It was just a fancy computer, really. It had no right to be so important to me. But, it was the people that it connected me to that made all the difference. RoEM wasn’t a game, so much as a platform where I could be my real self and share that self with others. I’d play the game on that stupid little flat rectangle of a burner phone if that was what it took. These people were my friends, no matter where they came from.

“I wish I could join you,” sighed Gavin, shaking his head. “I don’t suppose you have a spare?”

Ruth shook her head but Jade held up a finger. “Uh… I actually might have something.”

“Huh?” I asked, peering over to Jade curiously.

“Me and Anika have a spare REMbox that we cracked open,” she hiked a thumb over her shoulder to Anika who nodded.

“Yeah, we wanted to see what kind of stuff we could do with the platform. We got it to run an open source SleepiSheep distro, but it still has the basic REMos in a separate partition,” said Anika, shrugging. “So yeah, you could log into RoEM on it.”

Me and Gavin exchanged glances, blinking in confusion. “What?!” I asked, frowning. 

“They’ll get you two set up,” sighed Beth, shaking her head as she tapped onto an invisible screen in front of her. “I think… My techno-speak is a little fuzzy. I can handle the basics, but I leave the advanced computer techno-wizardry to these two.”

“I mean, given what you’re studying, I think that computer science is the easier option,” said Anika, wrapping her arms around Beth’s waist.

“What’s your major?” Paige asked curiously.

“Education,” she said with a faint smirk. “I’m going into teaching. Queer kids need to see that there’s a future for people like us. As garbage as the school system is down here, somebody needs to do something.” 

I nodded. “I could absolutely see you as an amazing teacher.” Better than my mom, at any rate.

“I mean, if anyone could make it as a gay, Wiccan teacher in the deep south, it’s Beth,” sighed Anika. “Also, please tell me you’ve ordered the pizza.”

Beth nodded. “Vegan for me, supreme and pepperoni sound okay with the rest of you?” She looked to the rest of us, who nodded in reply. The grumbling of my stomach concurred.

As we sat, talked and eventually ate together, I couldn’t help but think that it should have been like this from the beginning. That this was what family was always supposed to be. 

Eating used to be quiet and dominated by Dad. Now, we could all speak freely. Dad would rant angrily. 

Here, we could laugh and joke and be joyful. I was always grateful to be able to leave for my room.

Now… I didn’t want this night to end.

But, in spite of everything, I was more than willing to fall asleep in Gavin’s arms nestled in Beth and Anika’s couch. Jade slept on an inflatable mattress in the corner, facing the wall to give us some privacy. As I placed the REMbox crown on my head and watched Gavin do the same, I knew that everything was finally right with the world.

I pressed my lips into his, feeling the warmth of his body melt into my own. It was intoxicating. In spite of how my body reacted and felt at his touch, I never doubted for a moment that everyone saw me as a girl.

Feeling his arms wrap around me, my head nestled into his chest, for the first time in my waking life I realized the truth.

I was home. And I could finally rest.

___________________________________

I woke up in my bed. The fluffy feather one that me and Marianne had only just managed to squeeze into our apartment. I shot up, and while my body was still a little stiff, it wasn’t the mass of pain that I had expected it to be.

My injuries in RoEM were thankfully better healed than my real-world ones.

I looked down at my body. I had some visible scars, but they healed. Whatever Marianne or the Scalekeeper had done while I’d been out, it had worked.

I scanned the room for Marianne. The apartment was messier than I remembered. The walls were still absolutely bare from the missing weapons that had been stolen. But now, the room was cluttered with bottles, bandages and dirty dishes. I felt a twinge of guilt. I had always done my fair share of the cleaning and I had abandoned her.

Not by choice, I reminded myself, but I still felt that guilt burn through me.

I moved to step off the bed, and immediately lost my footing as I tripped over something uneven and squishy.

There was a yelp of surprise and a confused tumble as I hit the ground. While the stone had a soft, almost mossy carpet to take a little out of the blow, it still hurt. My body sang with a million little twinges as the impact jolted through me.

“Ow!” hissed a voice next to me, “I'm up! I’m up! What time is it?”

I looked over, and with a stunning realization, I saw that Marianne was laying on the ground next to me, rubbing at her head. She had fallen asleep next to my bed, sleeping on the floor beside me.

A rush of emotions flooded through me and I almost dove on top of her as I wrapped her in a hug. Tears welled out of me and I began to messily cry into her shoulder as she made noises of shock and surprise.

“I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!” I wailed into her shoulder.

“I… I missed you, too, Zoey,” said Marianne, returning my hug. “Gods… I… I didn’t know if you’d ever wake up. You stopped breathing for a moment but… I know that humans can sometimes sleep for days at a time, but… I was worried I’d never see you again.”

“I’M SORRY! I’M SO SORRY, MARIANNE!” I bawled, “I’M SORRY FOR LOSING MY TEMPER WITH YOU LAST TIME! I WAS JUST SO SCARED AND I THOUGHT I’D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN AND I HURT SO BADLY AND-”

“Shhhhh…” hissed Marianne, rubbing my shoulder. “You’re okay now. You’re safe. Right?”

She pulled away from me, giving me a piercing look. I had an inkling that this was Thalia asking.

“I’m… better… I think,” I said carefully, “I… I’m okay.”

She breathed a visible sigh of relief, which resolved itself back into quiet concern. “Okay… so… uh… I guess I need to catch you up on things…” She stood up and offered a hand. “Can you walk?”

I nodded. Better than I could in the real world, at any rate. Marianne reached into her nearby closet and pulled out some clothes, which I gratefully put on. Wordlessly, she handed me my hammer and the chipped and dented shield.

With shaking hands, I accepted them and strapped them into place. I wasn’t excited at the possibility of fighting again, but knew there were little other options.

Marianne was wearing some kind of heavy leather tunic and pants, bearing visible bloodstains. Her hair was a mess and, truthfully, she didn’t look like she had slept much of late. Even as I walked next to her, I got the distinct whiff of odor that made it clear that she hadn’t washed much.

As she led me out of the cave district and out of the base of the falls, I realized that the rest of Whiteoak Falls hadn’t fared much better than Marianne had.

It wasn’t as bad as my dreams had made it out to be, but it was still bad.

There were massive branches which had fallen from the central tree of the city, carving sizable gouges into the farmland below where they landed. Storefronts and homes looked hollowed out, like giant termites had eaten away at the tree itself. Even those damned tree elevators, bane of my existence, were dangling limply from the tree, like some kind of distorted fruit. Scorch marks dotted the trees and the ground. Even days later, the scent of smoke lingered in the air. It was quiet and still.

With a shock, I realized that the heartbeat of the falls, the great waterwheel and its millworks weren’t audible anymore. Only the pouring of the falls itself. As I turned around, I saw a burned and splintered mess of wood where it had once stood. I stared at the ragged ruins and splinters of the wooden complex, realizing that the forge, my work, my home… all of it had been devoured by war.

I wasn’t going to be able to get my life back until the griefers were finally dealt with. Nobody was.

“Zoey!”

I had gotten all but knocked off my feet by the force of his embrace, but the moment I heard that voice, I melted into his arms.

“Gavin…” I said, burying my face into the nape of his neck. “Gavin… god it’s so amazing to be back.”

“Yeah,” he panted into my ears.

I pulled back a little to look him in the eyes. They were incredible as always. Filled with such kindness and joy, even in the face of what we'd gone through. Those eyes saw the real me. They always had. “Gavin,” I said, breathing hard, “I wouldn’t have wanted to come back if you weren’t here with me.” I took a deep breath and pressed my lips into his. 

Gavin was shocked with my boldness, as I felt his muscles tense in surprise. But slowly they relaxed and he began to reply with his own intensity.

“Ahem…” coughed a dry voice behind Gavin, “Are you two going to start mating right here or can we get back to the whole ‘war’ thing?”

I felt my face flush as I peered around Gavin to see his partner Syd impatiently tapping his taloned feet on the stone floor. We disentangled ourselves from one another awkwardly while he continued to look at us with quiet amusement.

Something looked immediately off about his appearance, and with a shock, I blurted out, “Your tail!”

Syd shrugged his shoulders and peered behind him. “Eh… it’ll grow back. You should have seen the other guy…” He waved the stump of his tail almost apologetically.

I shook my head as I began to take in the state of my friends. Marianne looked exhausted. Gavin clearly was nursing some bandaged cuts under his clothes. Syd’s scales had some ugly gashes carved into them.

“How… how bad is it?” I asked, wringing my hands.

“Bad…” came another voice from behind me, stepping out of the caves.

Leon looked worse for the wear. His usually shining armor was dented, scorched and outright broken in a few places. He visibly limped as he moved, his right leg clearly injured as he leaned on the shaft of a long spear to move.

Beside him, Milo, Odric and… Steven followed behind him. Each of them was armed and armored in one way or another. My heart broke to see Steven carrying that little pitchfork of his, and see the agony on his face… but all the same, he rushed forward to hug me, which I gratefully accepted.

“I missed you so much, Miss Zoey!” he cried out, squeezing me tight around the middle. It was strange being called ‘Miss’ when I was only four years older than him. 

“We kept the little guy safe,” sighed Milo, still somehow wielding that ridiculously oversized sword of his as he rested in on his shoulder with one hand and tousled the hair of the boy with another.

“It is good to see you again, Lady Zoey,” said Odric, bowing deeply. “Word has spread about your fight and the Scalekeeper choosing you as a Justicar.” He pointed to my hand. “May I see?”

I nodded and held it out. He gently accepted my wrist and peered at the brand marked onto the back of my hand. “The gods have not yet abandoned us, and this is the proof,” he said, nodding. “We may yet win.”

“It’s going to be difficult. They’ve been moving in a unified swarm,” breathed Leon, his voice rough, “Town to town. The only reason why they haven’t reduced Golddell to a smoking crater is because they bit off more than they could chew. They’re setting the place to siege until they get enough people to take it down. Only a matter of time, I’m afraid.”

“I… might have an idea,” I said, chewing my lip. “Did… did Devon show up?”

The others exchanged glances, uncertainly. Leon scratched at his head.

“The dark-haired kid? About so tall?" He made a height with his hand, which I nodded at. “He didn’t give us a name. Just said he was giving up and Zoey told him to come. We weren’t sure what to think of him, but he let us throw him into the jail. Why?”

“He can get me an in with the Chosen of Sword and Flame,” I said, and you’d have thought that those words had been a hand grenade given how the others reacted to those words.

Syd looked visibly disgusted, as if he were going to throw up. Leon took a step backward, stunned. Gavin, still holding my hand, squeezed it and turned to stare at me as if I’d grown a second head. Milo’s nose wrinkled as if he’d smelled something foul. And Steven turned as white as a sheet, covering his mouth.

“That brat in the cage is a member of the Chosen of Sword and Flame?!” breathed Leon, tightening his grip on his spear. “Dios mio, Zoey, do you know what those people are?! What they’ve done?!”

“They’re Nazis and white-supremesists. Christofacists. They’re like the KKK and the Nazi’s made a baby born on a pile of imageboards, fuck,” growled Gavin, shaking his head, “And you sent one of them to us?!”

“He’s not like them,” I replied earnestly. “He’s… queer. But he’s being forced into following them. We can use him to find the Chosen and take them down from the inside. Like… draw them into a trap or something.”

There were more worried glances that were exchanged. Leon frowned, shaking his head. “Well… at the very least, you can talk to the kid yourself. But I’m not going to lie, I’m tempted to let him rot in there.”

“You’ll see,” I breathed earnestly. “He’ll help us.”

As we drew closer to the guardhouse, I noticed that Steven drew back slightly, shivering as he saw the building with wide eyes and a face devoid of color.

“Uh…” squeaked out Steven, raising a hand. “Can I… wait outside? I… I don’t want to go back down there.”

Leon nodded. “Of course. Milo, Odric? Keep an eye out for him.”

They agreed and began to huddle around Steven, who was clearly upset about remembering his time in the dungeons.

“Where’s Polly and Era?” I asked Marianne, before shaking my head. “S-sorry, Gresh and Melody?”

“Gresh is out fighting,” Marianne replied, ignoring my slip-up, “And Melody and her father are heading south to Briar Glen, with the rest of the refugees. We’re going to try to hold the line to give them the chance to put some distance between themselves and the Grief Eaters.”

I nodded, sighing as I realized that the town around us looked much more barren than normal. People were leaving… and I couldn’t blame them. Leon led the way to the guardhouse, which was swarming with other city guard members who looked every bit as worn out as Leon did. Makeshift barricades of overturned carts, beds and other furniture and debris surrounded the guardhouse. Even with no sight of griefers, a host of the guards had leveled their crossbows at us as we approached.

Only one of the guards stepped forward. Frieda, Leon’s partner.

“What do you want, Leon?” she asked coldly. “Your assignment is to patrol the perimeter. Not socialize.”

“We need to see one of the prisoners,” said Leon, crossing his arms. “He has useful information.”

“Are you going to let another murderer free, this time?” snapped Frieda, stepping forward with her hand on her blade, strapped to the hip. “It’s hard for us to stop these humans if you keep letting them run around and kill more of us.”

“Steven has been fighting for us, Frieda,” shot back Leon, angrily. “We all have.”

“Not all humans are the same, cousin,” breathed Marianne, shaking her head. "They’re trying to help us.”

Frieda snorted. “Help? Oh, I think we’ve seen enough of the human ‘help’ at this time. I don’t care if Chief Petrov bought into your Guardian nonsense, he’s dead now.”

Marianne gasped. Leon winced. “What?! I… when did he pass?” he breathed, his face fallen.

“Last night,” she growled, “A wound turned septic and we couldn’t get a healer in time. While you and your kind were playing at war, he died in feverish agony.” She pursed her lips for a moment, stepping closer. Maybe a foot away from Leon. The other guards didn’t move as they kept their weapons pointed at us. 

“You know… I sometimes wonder if you humans are worth the trouble,” she hissed, shaking with fury. “To the hells with ‘courtesy’ or ‘tradition’ or any of the old ways when all they do is end with us paying the price for your foolishness.” 

She chewed her tongue for a moment before speaking, a painful, sharp silence marking the hesitation. “I’ve been hearing stories… that the humans aren’t dying when they’re killed. Some of the guards swear they’ve seen the same humans die one day and return afterwards.”

Leon swallowed hard, looking back at us for a second before turning back to Frieda. “I… I would imagine that they’re mistaken. In the heat of battle, it’s an easy mistake to make”

I felt a knot in my gut. I knew the truth. All the players did. If enough griefers died in the course of fighting… over and over again… it was entirely possible that they might end up back in the same town through sheer luck. I wasn’t sure how anyone could put themselves through such a thing, constantly dying, but I had no doubt that the griefers had no fear of it.

Frieda pulled out her blade, the sound of it leaving the sheathe at her side was deafening in the stillness of the moment. “Shall we test that theory? See if you come back?”

“Enough!” cried out Marianne, her own blades coming free at her belt. “Cousin, this is madness! I have seen Leon, Zoey, Milo, Gavin and yes, even Steven, face death to protect us! They are not our enemy! They are our Guardians!”

“Marianne,” sighed Frieda, gesturing with her blade in a wide-sweeping gesture, “You keep holding to that ridiculous fairytale. ‘Oh not all the humans are cruel, twisted monsters!’” She shook her head, “But even if you’re right, we cannot tell them apart from one another. We cannot separate the ‘good’ humans from the ‘evil’.” 

She peered at us, narrowing her eyes. “Do you truly wish to prove your virtue? Die for us, and never return. Leave us with less of your kind polluting the world we live in. We never asked for your presence and all you bring with you is war and bloodshed. This world would be better if you had never set foot in it.”

I rocked back a step. I had difficulty arguing with Frieda. The presence of the players really had been the cause of so much pain and suffering to these people. And what could I tell them in reply? The only reason this world exists is because it’s a game for us? A game that so many players were all-too-happy to upend just for the sport of it? Humans truly had ruined RoEM… I couldn’t disagree with that.

“You know,” said a familiar voice, causing Frieda and her guards to jump in surprise, rounding to point their weapons behind them.

With Seamus and Steven by his side, Gresh, the orc tailor, strode forward to address Frieda, unperturbed by the mass of weaponry pointed in his face. Milo and Odric followed behind.

“You know, I seem to remember these words,” chuckled Gresh, shaking his head. “They were pointed at my people once upon a time. That we were savage creatures who cared only for war and conquest. We weren’t worth the effort. We were a lost cause. Can you truly say that you have forgotten this?”

Frieda gritted her teeth. “That is different,” she snarled, “You and your kind have lived in peace with us for-”

“But what did we have to do in order to win that peace?” insisted Gresh, “How much blood was spilled to form the mortar of that peace? And did you ever think for a moment why our people lashed out? Was it, perhaps, the fact that we were treated as less than animals by your people? That we were written off before we could even get a chance?”

Frieda brandished the blade and strode towards Gresh. I felt my breath catch in my throat at seeing how close she was and how defenseless Gresh was.

“What peace can be found with these things?!” she snapped, furiously, “You talk of wars, Gresh… you talk of nations and politics. But there is no reasoning with these things! They are not rational creatures, but a pestilence on the world we walk. They need to be exterminated. They cannot be reasoned with and they cannot change…”

“I did,” said Steven, so quietly that I had to strain to hear his shaking voice. Through the ranks of the other guardsmen, I saw the little boy shaking, pale, but determined as he stared down Frieda.

“He did,” murmured Seamus, “Frieda, dear, I understand your fury… but look… Much of the forces against us are children. They are lost in a world that they only barely understand. And you must not forget that there were so many like you who saw them as monsters… can we be surprised that they have come to believe us?”

“I won’t make excuses for all of my kin,” insisted Leon, shaking his head. “It is true that a number of them are simply bloodthirsty and wish only to warm themselves in the ashes of the apocalypse… but some are merely trying to live as you and others are. And some… like the humans who stand before you… are seeking to protect this world.”

“Please,” I said, folding my hands in supplication, “Please, please, please, let us fight. We can’t beat them if we’re too busy fighting each other.”

Frieda frowned for a moment, lowering her blade and stepping forward. I flinched as she grabbed my hand and struggled as she maneuvered the back of my right hand into her vision. She traced a finger over the back of it, and I realized that she was tracing the new brand of the Goddess that had been inscribed onto the back of my hand.

“The Scalekeeper… How?” she murmured, looking down at me with wide eyes, “You… you bear her mark. You… you were chosen? You are a Justicar?”

I nodded, unsure of what else to say.

She swallowed hard. “I… have been waiting my whole life to be chosen by her. To hear her voice and know that the years I’ve spent dedicated to justice were worthwhile.” She sniffed, blinking back tears. “And you… a human… she chooses you?!” The word came out as a choked sob, as she shook her head.

“I…” I stammered, surprised to see this surge of emotion from her. So much of what I knew of Frieda was that she was a hard, unrelenting and stern warrior. Seeing her cry was… honestly uncomfortable.

“Did… did you speak with her?” she whispered, almost fearfully.

“I did,” I said softly, nodding.

“And… what did she tell you?” replied Frieda, tears overflowing as she stared down at the brand upon the back of my hand.

I tried to remember her words.

“The gods haven’t forgotten you…That they have given you as much aid as they can. That they believe in us… all of us and that we can turn the griefers back together,” I said, firmly. I hardened my gaze as I met her stare. She took a step back in shock. “Frieda… I’m a paladin. A Justicar. And with the power of the Scalekeeper, I promise you that I will do everything I can to keep this world safe. We are not your enemy.”

She continued to stare at me for a moment, disbelieving and as if she were in a daze.

Gently and carefully, I reached out to touch the shoulder of her breastplate. “I can… I can tell you how I became a justicar if you let me,” I said, pleadingly. “I… I think you can become one too. But the most important part of justice is to know when to draw and when to sheathe your weapon. Frieda… please.”

Frieda’s blade tumbled from her hand, clattering on the ground below. She collapsed, sobbing into my shoulder as I held her upright. The guards around us, uncertainly looking to one another, lowered their weapons gradually.

Leon gathered close and comforted her, gesturing that I should proceed forward. I looked behind myself and saw the others all looking to me for guidance. Gavin reached out for my hand as I pulled away from Frieda and allowed Leon to look after her.

As I drew closer to the guardhouse, the guards watching me with a mixture of awe and reverence, I began to realize what Thalia, Polly and Era had been talking about when they called me a hero.

This was a power that people like Jacob could never touch. That no griefer could grasp. They would see this as mere weakness and unmanliness.

But I knew that this ability to bridge the gaps and make connections with others would be what would win us the war. Hearts united as one were stronger than steel.