NOVEL SIMPLE Once a **** always a ** ***
Mak. Oh, Mak. How I wish I could twist your twisted neck off! Eric was livid! He was so livid right now! One bad thing happened after another!
"Why didn't you tell me that sooner? I wasted so much time!"
"Heh," Mak only scoffed happily before he disappeared again. Good, never come back into my head! You're not some kind of annoying system I can't get rid of!
Mak hated him, yeah, we've been over this, but this bastard actually! Eric wasted so much time! He had to find Timo and Van quickly!
Think Eric, what could his little brain produce? Just what? In the face of this dilemma, Eric reached the limits of his brain capacities and produce the most brilliant idea ever! Ah, yes that was why he was an editor, that was why he was a genius and that was why he was unrivalled on earth, back when he was still fucking alive, apparently!
But then Eric stopped for a second and thought, why should he even get Timo and Van, wouldn't they naturally come back? But what if they didn't? What if Eric's fart hurt Van so much that this thorny prince full of spikes would defy Eric and let him suffer for an eternity in the Demon World?
Judging by how Van was until now, Eric was pretty sure Van wouldn't forgive Eric and would be so petty to let Eric forever suffer under the curse!
Dammit, Eric couldn't let Van and Timo roam around the human world alone! Eric had to apologise to Van, it was an accident! He didn't mean it, well him escaping and leaving Van cold on the floor pretending to be a murder victim was indeed intentional and Eric's fault. Cough cough.
Anyways, after making sure he had a reason to find Van and Timo, well forcing himself into having one, Eric went ahead to execute his brilliant and amazing genius idea.
Without thinking twice, Eric ran towards a large tower a few streets behind his company. What was it? Yes, it was the news station that had nothing fucking better to do than to broadcast Eric's death over and over again with an insane amount of testimonies about how amazing Eric was, what an angel he was and why everyone loved him.
Enough! We had enough! There was only so much an ex-narcissist like him could take. All the flattery and all that bullshit swirling around him like honey, wouldn't even make him happy when he was still his old scummy self from back then before the Demon World.
This was getting too embarrassing! Earth, the human world was completely different from what Eric could remember. He wasn't even long away but it still felt weird to be back. His first joy and euphoria quickly vanished in face of what earth has become, all because of his death. Ah, his power was indeed unrivalled.
But it was still nice for Eric to be able to walk around, breathing fresh air, feeling the sunlight on his skin and just be able to be outside without having to fear that demons would come and eat him in the good and bad way.
Earth also had so much more fun things to offer, all these entertaining places, restaurants, cinema and whatsoever, the Demon World didn't have naturally! All these stinky boring demons did was to mate! They didn't even need to eat or sleep frequently! What a cheat but also what an utterly boring way to live!
They didn't even have stories! Goodness, if Eric would have to stay in the Demon World for longer, he definitely needed to change that. First, he needed them to stop seeing humans as food and then introduce a lot of great entertainment activities so the Demon World would become a lively place. He should talk about it with Del.
Running across the few streets, Eric realised how athletic he has become, was it because of all the time he spent in the stories, or all the time he had to run away from being banged, or because he flapped his wings a bit too energetic as a dragon?
Either way, sooner than he anticipated he already arrived at the news station without needing to catch his breath.
Eric was delighted at this realisation but also offended that he was already captured by security guards.
"You can't blindly charge in, what are you? A hooligan?''
Excuse me? Eric felt attacked as he was dragged out by two security guards. He felt like a prisoner.
"I'm here to give news."
"Then do it the legal and normal way."
And what was that supposed to be? Wasting time? Fuck, Eric still had the mentality of being in a story. There he could almost do whatever he wanted as long as the system didn't apprehend him because it was fiction after all. But this was real life. This required quite a lot of effort to get used to again.
If he died here, he'd die for real. If he went to prison then all his time would be gone. Wait, but this wasn't his body, only his soul. So if he died, how did it work?
Feeling the oncoming headache, Eric quickly threw that thought away. Didn't matter.
"Wait!" Eric screamed and like a kid on a rollercoaster having a death wish, threw a tantrum wanting to free himself from the shackles of confinement aka the belt in the rollercoaster's case and the security guards' arms in Eric's case.
Then with all his might, he ran back to the reception and continued to scream like a crazy mental patient.
"I...I", Eric needed to catch his breath before he dropped a world war 5 bomb, "I have juicy, mega juicy, so juicy you can even slap a thigh and a spring of juice could spill out, kind of juicy news about Eric's death!"
GASP! The whole lobby and the receptionist on the phone could be heard gasping. In an instant, Eric was ushered with the utmost respect and care to the top floor. Ah, yes this was how his treatment should be. Just one word of his, or sentence, and they all came to tend to his every need.
Well, Eric didn't lie when he said he had news about his own death. But that wasn't it, while everyone buzzed around him wanting to get the scoop first to present it to their higher-ups so they could get a bonus, Eric looked around and asked, "Aren't they broadcasting the news now?"
"Yes, yes," everyone nodded to curry favour with Eric, this curry was extremely spicy to handle!
"Then where are they shooting right now?"
At this everyone got a bit upset, but Eric dropped the next ball, "I want to get familiar with the layout, I wonder if my news doesn't accidentally leak out."
"It's there, if you go right up then-"
Say no more, Eric got the location and everyone else got the intention behind Eric's words. If you do what I say I will tell the person with the hardest and most dedicated loyalty and commitment, the secret! Eric dealt with these kinds of people for so long. How could he not know how to manipulate them?
With demons it was using their horniness as their weakness and temptation and for humans, it was their greed. Easy. Eric had it all figured out. He deliberately went closer to the broadcasting room.
"Ah, my back hurts," Eric let out nonchalantly and instantly many strange hands massaged him everywhere.
This... didn't feel good at all. No one but demons should touch him. Eric was actually shocked at himself at this realisation but then again, he already admitted he had a huge thing going on for demons so what the hell did he have to be so surprised for?
"Ok, that's enough," Eric quickly threw their hands off and continued his charade, "I'm so thirsty, hungry and cold."
In an instant, everyone rang to bring him water, food and clothes, well this shouldn't be how it worked to have masses of idiotic humans flock around him for news about his own death, but plot willed it so.
And honestly, Eric's death was layered in mystery. No one has figured out his cause of death yet even after enough time. Dammit, system, just what did you do to my fake body?
Anyways, Eric looked left and right and once he was sure that no one was around, he quickly snuck into the news room where a live broadcast went on and with the greatest entrance of all entrances in the history of entrances he banged the door open and BAM-
Raced in. The news anchor, the cameramen and all the other staff were perplexed at this newbie. What should they do? Cut the broadcast? Of course not, this segment has been running for centuries and should be stopped because of one clown, even if it was briefly?
Hell no, their reputation was on the line and they've been doing this for so long, overcoming so many ups and downs, how could they not handle a signal hooligan?
So a man sitting in a chair, seemingly the producer, quickly signalled the security guards to 'escort' Eric out. The camera hasn't captured him yet, only the loud bang of the doors were heard but that was fine. News sometimes had bloopers and mistakes, something like this wasn't bad.
But Eric was slippery as an eel and managed to evade the security guards before he became everyone's worst nightmare.
He appeared before the camera!
RIP the owner's body, Eric's one action would put him to shame for the rest of his life. Damn, Eric really destroyed this man's life.
Gently pushing the news anchor to the side by rolling her chair away, Eric stared dead in the camera shouting at an insane speed before the cameraman could stop filming, "Demons are all stupid! Especially one named Van and his friend Timo! Come and get me you losers!"
What? Just what the hell was this bullshit? Came in with a bang and left with a flash. As quickly as Eric ran in as quickly he ran out again. Escaping under everyone's frozen statues, Eric made a successful bail!
No one could beat him when it came to his brain farts, and Eric was convinced his idea was amazing. Van and Timo would definitely come and get him.