Born of Silicon

Lucas drives slowly into the scrapyard. Small, semi cleared paths crisscross endlessly through the junkyard. Now that we're here, the sheer scale of this place finally hits me. If I had 100 years I couldn’t use even half the scrap in a single pile. And the piles seem endless. 

As we drive we pass by a few scrappers picking their way through the junk. Each and every one of them stops their work as we pass, ready to open fire at a moment's notice. 

We’re equally ready for an attack. The rest of them look to be wearing old military gear, kevlar vests and olive helmets. I guess I don’t get any, even though even the smallest hole in my cooling system would inevitably result in my death. I’ll just have to make sure not to get shot I suppose. 

It takes 20 minutes of crawling through rusted canyons before we arrive at our destination. In a small clearing lies a modest concrete structure that may have once been a house. It has no remaining doors or windows, just baren holes to the outside world. A low concrete wall surrounds the house, giving a semblance of cover. Countless bullet holes mar both the wall and the building itself. Great. This seems like a great place to stay.

Lucas pulls the car into what was probably a garage at one point, but is now a barely standing shelter. I guess unstable shelter is better than no shelter. We all hop out and Vince immediately begins giving commands. 

“Cassie, scout the perimeter. Ivy, get to a high point and keep a lookout. Lucas, Little Blue, you’re both collecting scrap with me.

Cassie shoots off like a bullet without another word. Somehow she’s nearly silent as she runs through the sand and scrap, just like the dog I met so long ago. Ivy begins to climb the unstable metal mountain, claiming her nest at the top. Vince and Lucas head to the nearest pile and start looking. 

“So, what am I supposed to be looking for?” I follow them awkwardly as they head to the nearest scrap pile. “I never actually got told what we’re doing here.”

“Right, sorry Little Blue. We’re looking for metal sheets, unrusted iron, steel, anything electrical, motors. That kind of thing.” 

“Oh wait!” Lucas yells out excitedly. “You can probably pack up the car perfectly! That’s the hardest part, so just wait there and put in whatever we bring you.”

“Ok. I can do that.”

We work for two hours as the sun goes down. I have a ton of time to myself as Lucas and Vince pick through literal tons of trash, but I’m not in any mood to think. At least an ever changing packing problem is complex enough to keep nearly my entire mind focused. 

I also keep a portion of my mind focused on keeping an eye out. I know Ivy can see everything from her position, but a second set of eyes never hurts. I can see Cassie dashing through gaps in the scrap occasionally. The few times I do see her she’s flashing signals to Ivy on her perch. Ivy then flashes them to us whenever one of us looks up, relaying her words. Cassie has been reporting that there are a few groups around us, but nobody who we have a problem with.

Once the sun goes down Vince and Lucas head into the ruined house to prepare dinner, leaving me to finish organizing the car. Only once Vince has cooked a small pot of mushrooms and carrots does Cassie return to us and Ivy comes down from her nest . They’ve already begun eating by the time I finish organizing and join them.

“Alright, now that we’re all here, let’s go ahead and talk about guard duty. Tonight’s a new moon, so Ivy gets the midnight shift.”

“Of course.” Ivy mumbles through her mouthful of food. 

“I’ll take first, Cassie, you’re on third, and Lucas you’re off. Little Blue, since you don’t sleep you’re a second pair of eyes for every shift. Any complaints?”

“I can’t see very well in the dark.” I say. Not to mention my history with it. Ivy speaks up in response.

“It’s not all about sight. Good ears are just as valuable.” She reassures me. Easy for her to say.

“You’ll be fine Little Blue. Come on, I’ll show you the ropes.” Vince picks up his gun and bowl before we walk out of the building. “Couple of things to remember. Keep moving, try not to walk in the open, don’t discount any noise you hear. It’s probably nothing, but you always have to check, just in case. That’s about all there is to it.”

“Ok. I think I’m just going to follow you.” I say. It can’t be as simple as he’s making it sound.

“Works for me.” He shrugs and takes a few silent steps before continuing. “How are you holding up?”

“Surprisingly well. Thanks for making sure I’m never alone tonight.”

“Am I really that transparent?” He gives a small chuckle. “I must be getting older than I thought.”

We walk laps around the building for a few minutes to let him eat before I begin the conversation again. The sky stays pitch black long after the sun sets.

“Why can’t we see the stars?” I ask disappointedly. 

“Hm? Oh. Dust stays in the upper atmosphere for a while after a storm like that. It should clear up soon though. Why?”

“Cassie said the stars were pretty out here.”

Even in the dim light I can see Vince smile.

"They’re really something to see. You’d never get a view like it in the old days.”

“I guess the end of the world really was worth it then.”

“Was that a joke Little Blue? You really are learning.” He chuckles to himself and sets his empty bowl on the windowsill when we next pass it and grabs a second someone has already set out for him.

I guess I am. I feel much better than I did in the city. At least the threats out here are physical, I can prepare for them. Rather than having to just not be myself in the compound.

“Yeah. I’m feeling really good with you guys. Thanks for not just killing me.”

“Of course. I couldn’t just leave you there.”

“Why’d you take the risk though?” I can’t be worth it.

“Look around you. This world has seen enough death.” He says casually with a mouthful of soup.

“And why’s Silver ok with the risk?”

“Believe it or not, Silver’s got a bit of a soft heart. It was just us two and Cassie against the world for years before they had to settle down. They’d let me get away with way worse things that just risking our lives.”

“So I’m a risk?” A hint of fear grips me.

“Course you are. And so are Cassie, Ivy and Lucas. There’s not a single thing in this world that isn’t. Doesn’t mean any of them aren’t worth it, and doesn’t mean you aren’t either.” He puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder for just a moment.

I guess that makes sense. I’d still rather not be a risk in the first place though. We take another few slow steps around the building before I ask another question.

“How’d you and Cassie meet anyway?”

“Well that’s her story to tell, don't you think?” Vince finishes his second bowl and sets it on a windowsill before continuing his patrol. Nobody set out a third, so I guess he’s done with dinner.

“I can piece together a lot of it. Lucas said she’s been scrapping for half her life, and she said her parents died 15 years ago. I just don’t know if you are the reason she started or not.”

“She told you that?” Vince asks. “Guess I hadn’t realized how close you two have gotten.”

“We’re not close. In fact I think she still hates me.”

“Lending her books and spilling her darkest secret isn’t exactly what you do with an enemy.” He says with a smile. “Trust me, she’s trying. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Ok.”

We make idle chatter for the next few hours while we walk. It doesn't take long for the sounds from inside the house to die down. I wish I could sleep, it sounds so nice to just lie down and dream for a couple of hours. I guess that’s something I’ll never get to do though. I’m sure I’d just have nightmares anyway, maybe it’s not worth it. Soon enough Vince cuts me off mid sentence.

“Shh. You hear that?” He whispers while putting out his arm to stop me. I listen intently for any sound. It takes me several moments to finally hear a soft cawing in the distance.

“What is it?” I’ve never heard anything like it.

“A bird.” Vince has the largest smile I’ve ever seen on his face.

“What? How?” I wouldn’t think anything could survive in the desert. Where would a bird find food or water out here?

“No idea.”

We spend a magical minute listening to the soft cawing in the distance. It isn’t long before the sound fades, existing only in our memory. Vince strains for a while longer, desperately willing for one more note. 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve heard that.” Vince’s voice is full of a sad nostalgia. The tiniest hint of a tear forms in his eye, only to be blinked away.

“It was prettier than I read about. How’s it still alive?”

“I guess it’s a little miracle. Three remnants of the old world in the same place is a rare sight.”

“I only ever saw three rooms in the lab. I don’t think I count.” If someone read the same books I was born with, they’d know just as much about the old world as I do.

“That’s still more than most.”

“I guess.” I still think he’s wrong but I don’t want to argue.

The rest of his shift goes uneventfully. Vince strains to hear any hint of the bird, but not another sound is heard from it all night. A few hours before midnight he heads inside to switch places with Ivy. 

While he’s gone I look up. The dust has finally cleared and I can’t believe my eyes. Nothing I’ve ever seen could come close to comparing with the view right now. Countless stars pepper the sky. A streak of color is painted across the infinite void by the galactic core of our galaxy. There are more stars than I could ever have imagined, and those are just the ones I can see! In between each visible speck of light are millions of stars far too faint to detect. 

“Told you that light pollution fucking sucks.” An unexpected voice from behind me nearly makes me jump. I turn around and am face to face with familiar green eyes.

“Cassie? I thought Ivy had the midnight shift?”

“She needed the sleep and I was already up.” She stands next to me, watching the stars as well.

“I didn’t have pictures when I was born. No amount of words can do it justice.”

“Mm hm.” she mumbles. Only a second later she begins her patrol. She’s a lot faster than Vince’s meandering pace. I have to jog every few steps to keep up with her.

“Vince and I heard a bird just a few hours ago.”

“Bullshit.” She says without breaking her stride.

“It’s true. I’ve never heard one before, but he says it is one.”

“It’s probably just some clock’s alarm going off. It is a junkyard after all.”

“There’s no way something could still be powered after that long.” I try to defend myself.

“You are.” She responds flatly. 

I guess she could be right. I’m not sure how many nuclear powered cuckoo clocks there are though. 

We stay silent for a few minutes while I search for something else to talk about.

“About that book you lent me.”

“Do not tell me you lost it.” She turns on her heels and stares straight into my eyes to punctuate the seriousness of what she’s saying.

“No! Of course not. It’s safe in my room. I just,” I’m not sure how to word what I’m trying to say. “I really like it. My parents didn’t put anything about romance in my head. It’s just very sweet.”

“Are you going to keep talking all night?” Her tone is a bit softer than usual. Maybe Vince is right.

“I don’t have to. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it.”

“Cool. I’d really like to focus though.”

“Right. Sorry.”

We spend the next few hours in silence. I still struggle to keep up with her but she eventually slows down just a touch to allow me to keep up. Soon enough her shift is up and she turns to me.

“I’m going to go get Ivy. Congrats on not shooting anyone on your first day. Keep it up I guess.”

She disappears back into the house. That definitely could have gone worse. Maybe I do have a chance to become friends with her one day.

Ivy steps out of the building, stretching and yawning as she exits.

“Morning Blue.” Without waiting for a response she gracefully pulls herself up onto the windowsill, and then over the edge of the roof with one hand. I guess I should follow? 

I’ve never climbed anything with my new joints before. It takes a few minutes of trial and error, but I eventually manage to struggle my way up behind her. By the time I’ve managed to hoist myself up she’s already taken her position at the corner of the roof. She flashes me a few quick hand signals.

You take that corner. I’m taking this one. Keep your eyes and ears open.

I settle into my corner. Together we have full vision of everything around us, although I can’t see as clearly as I would have liked. At least this is way more efficient than running around in circles for hours. 

“Can you hear me?” I whisper into the open air. I imagine she doesn’t want to wake anyone sleeping.

“Of course I can.” Ivy’s response comes just a little louder than my question, barely at the edge of my hearing. “Any new hallucinations tonight?” 

“No. The dark isn’t so bad when people are with me.”

“That’s good. I’m proud of how fast you’re improving.”

Her compliment stabs to the very core of my mind, sending me reeling with emotions I can barely recognize. I’m not sure why such a simple compliment affected me so heavily but I don’t have time to figure that out now, I can worry about it later. It takes a few seconds to regain control of my mind and actually respond to her.

“Yesterday in the shooting range Mary tried taunting me but I managed it by myself.”

“That’s great. I assume Mary is one of your parents?”

Oh, I guess I never told her their names. I wasn’t exactly in any state to tell them when they first found me, and there hasn’t really been a good chance to since.

“Yeah. Mary’s just a mom, Kara’s my real one.” I know she can hear the sadness and regret in my voice, but I push on. “She wasn’t at the lab when everything happened. I really didn’t like her when she was around. But now? I just wish I was nicer to her. She was extreme, but I guess I needed it. it worked after all.”

“You’re not any harder to take care of than anyone else. Everyone has some special requirements.”

“I was way worse than I am now, believe it or not.” I half joke as tears begin to run down my face. For the first time maybe ever they’re not tears of despair, just nostalgia. “One of the first things I did was threaten to fry myself.”

“Ok yeah. That’s not great.” Ivy admits. “What drove you to that?”

“I’m not sure to be honest. I am the 11th time they tried to create life on my chip. Some of them succeeded, only to be killed and wiped so they could try again. It may have been some remnants of them coming through. Nine and Ten were apparently even more unstable than me if you can believe it. Although I could just be making that up.” It feels really good to finally let out some of these feelings I’ve been storing for so long.

“Do you think some of those past versions could be the ones who are causing the hallucinations?”

“No. Sonia says this is just what happens to Biological AI. Although now that you’ve put the idea in my mind they might use that as ammo.”

“Maybe now that you’re aware it could happen you can know it’s not real?”

“That’s not how it works. The hallucinations feel just as real as me talking to you right now. Once it gets bad, rational thought just isn’t possible.”

“Sorry in advance for your next nightmare then.” She jokes.

“Thanks.”

We sit separately and silently on watch. It has the same comfort that reading with Cassie has. 

The scrapyard is silent until the sun begins to brighten the very tips of the scrap mountains around us. I watch the rays of sunlight slowly inch downwards. Bits of glass and metal reflect the light, turning our little clearing into a mirror of the fading stars above. Everything feels nice.