Born of Silicon

There is almost as much movement in the courtyard as there is in the garage. Both Sonia’s forge and Jade’s garage are swamped by people. Some other people are running food from the main building to the garage. I ignore their looks and head up to our rooms. I come to Cassie’s room first and knock. She quickly throws the door open.

“What?” She asks. 

She’s dressed casually in shorts and a t-shirt. This is the first time I’ve ever seen her without long pants. Her legs are two thin metal tubes with wires running tightly along them. Her knees and ankles are two giant motors powering two artificial feet.

“Are you just going to stare?” She asks flatly.

“Sorry!” I say loudly, my embarrassment clear in my voice. How many times has she had to deal with people staring? “Uh, Vince says you need to get ready and meet us at the garage.”

“Great.” She says before closing the door. 

I’m so dumb. I already knew she had artificial legs! I saw the ones she grew out of! I don’t even know why I stared at them! Her legs shouldn’t be any more notable than my own. I guess there’s nothing I can do about it now, I’ll have to make sure to apologize later though. I knock on Ivy’s door next.

“Yes?” Ivy’s sleepy voice comes quietly from behind the door. 

“Vince says to get ready and meet us at the car.” I respond back.

“Ugh. It’s only… noon? Shit. I’ll be there soon.”

“Ok.”

As I make my way back to the garage I can see that the storm is very clearly beginning to weaken. I can even see the occasional flash of the blue sky breaking through the endless sand. The garage is even more cramped with people than it was when I left. Silver is going from group to group, having a short conversation before moving on. 

I pick my way through the garage, trying to reach our car. Nobody cares to move out of my way as I walk, but I eventually make it. Vince and Lucas are just relaxing in the car, having finished their preparation I assume. I hop in with them and Vince thankfully rolls up the window to block out the uproar of sound outside. 

“How’d it go Little Blue?”

“They both said they’d be out when they can.” I don’t tell him about my embarrassing moment with Cassie.

“Good. Are you ready? Guns, ammo, harpoon, whatever else you need?”

“I always carry everything.”

“Sounds good. Now, Lucas, as I was saying…”

The two of them return to their conversation about some game or something I don’t know about. I just end up tuning them out and trying to relax by myself.

Eventually Silver makes their way to our car and knocks on Vince’s window. He rolls it down and they have a quick conversion that gets lost in all the noise. They look at me several times while talking, but I can’t even begin to guess what they’re talking about. Once they finish Vince rolls up the window and turns to me.

“You get any of that?”

“I couldn’t understand a single word.” 

“I figured. They were just going over our mission again. We’re to see if the junkyard is uncovered and scrap what we can. If it is covered, we’re meeting up with a couple groups headed to Denver for scrapping and trading.”

“How far is Denver?” I remember he mentioned that earlier, but it wasn’t a good moment to ask about it.

“Relatively. It’s a six hour drive northwest. Right around 150 miles. Why?”

“I don’t know. I guess I just never thought about where I’m from.” The void I was stuck in doesn’t even feel like it should exist in this world.

“We found you a few hundred miles south of here. Just off of a highway on what would have been the border between New Mexico and Texas.” He waves vaguely into the distance in the direction we originally entered the city.

“I think I want to see it one day.” I doubt Kara’s body will still be in her grave, but I should probably still visit one day.

“Ah. About that.” Vince reaches up to rub the back of his head awkwardly. “I’m not sure just how possible that’s going to be. A single building with no other cover is very rarely revealed by storms. That’s a major reason why it took 40 years for someone to stumble across you. I’ll ask Silver if we can head that way sometime, but no promises.”

“Oh. Ok.” By the look on Vince’s face, he could hear my heart shatter. “Why is the junkyard going to be clear and my home isn’t going to be? What’s the difference?”

“The junkyard is right at the base of the rockies. When a storm hits from the west the wind sometimes clears the sand instead of depositing more.”

“Oh. Is the city the same way?”

“Nah. Most of it’s too far from the mountains to be shielded at all. It does, however, have a hundred or so skyscrapers still standing that the sand can’t quite eat completely.

“How do they get water and food?”

“We run both out to the tower after every storm. There are also a few outposts in the mountains that are safe from the storms. They tap into whatever underground water they can there.”

The car door opening cuts off our conversation. Cassie helps Ivy struggle into the middle seat, who is groaning the whole way. Ivy finally gets comfortable and rests her head on Cassie’s shoulder. What’s wrong with her? I’ve never seen her like this before.

“Are you ok!” My voice is full of concern.

“Shhh. Not so loud.” Ivy moans.

“But are you ok?” I ask much quieter. Cassie responds for her.

“She can't handle her liquor like she used to. She’ll be fine in a few hours.”

“I thought we’d have another day.” She moans into Cassie's shoulder. Vince looks back from the passenger seat.

“I did warn you.” He brags.

“Shut up.”

At the front of the garage I see Silver kick a box to the center of the entrance. They step up and wait patiently for all the noise in the garage to die down. Everyone, including Lucas, rolls down their windows. 

“I’m glad to see everyone made it.” Even though they speak softly their voice seems to fill every corner of the room. “If anyone is unclear on your mission, raise your hand now.” They wait a few moments before continuing. “No one? Good. Remember, there is no routine operation, and there’s every chance this will be the last time I see you. Does anyone not feel confident going out this time?” 

Nobody raises their hand. 

“I thank you for your risk. I trust you all to come back, but if the worst happens, I promise you will not be forgotten. Trust in those beside you and make sure they make it home. Good luck.” They step down and kick the box out of the way, leaving the exit to the garage clear.

Each car, one by one, begins to nearly silently roll forward and out of the compound. Our small convoy turns right onto the street, followed by a second right out of the city. Whatever people are walking along the street know to get out of the way for us and the other scrapping groups doing the same.

An electric charge passes over me as we pass through the dome. I really hope that’s not bad for me. Maybe I should have asked someone. 

Though the sky is mostly clear, stray gusts of wind still pepper our car with sand. It’s not thick or fast enough to be more than a minor annoyance. The storm that once ravaged our city is already disappearing over the horizon, searching for something else to destroy. 

Most of the convoy follows the northern edge of the city, headed northwest, likely towards Denver. We follow that group for as long as we can, but we end up headed directly west. Some others follow the edge of the dome to head south, or break off east immediately. 

Other vehicles stream out of nearly every exit from the city. Just how many resources are needed to keep the city alive?

“Are the other cars friends?” I lean over the console and whisper to Vince. I try to keep my voice as quiet as possible for Ivy.

“Mostly.” He gives a small shrug. “Depends on the situation really. Nobody would do anything in view of the city, but once you’re out? You can’t report an attack if you’re dead.”

“Oh.” Great. “Are any of them headed to the junkyard?”

“Almost definitely.”

I fall back into my chair, keeping an eye on the cars around us. Although several cars are headed in the same direction as us, everyone makes sure to spread out. I can still catch glimpses of them whenever we crest a particularly large dune, but for the most part we’re alone.

I’m on edge for the first hour, thinking every time they pop into view that they’re going to attack. Over time I manage to relax and try and enjoy the rhythmic rises and falls of our drive. 

The next few hours blur together. We ride over endless identical dunes and watch the never changing desert. The world is sand, and nothing but sand. 

I wonder if they could have stopped this if I told them what was on that laptop? Or maybe they figured it out and did this themselves. Maybe I killed the world by not deleting the data. I know there’s no way to know, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. 

Nobody says anything along the drive to try and make Ivy’s hangover more bearable. The only sound in the car is the others occasionally shifting weight and Cassie regularly changing channels on her radio. It’s slow, but Ivy does begin to come back to life over the course of the drive. Her focus is almost entirely on trying to keep a bottle of water and some bread down, which seems to help.

 At the four hour mark Lucas brings the car to a stop. Nobody is on edge, so I guess it’s not an emergency.

“We’re an hour out. I need to stretch my legs and pee.” Luca announces to the car without the slightest hint of shame.

“Alright, we’ll take 15.” Vince says. “Anyone else feeling lunch?”

“I probably should eat.” Ivy says. Compared to when she first got in the car, she sounds almost normal. I’m not sure if that’s genuine, or if she’s just feeling good enough to hide it.

Vince hops out of the car and heads to the trunk. He pulls out a small hotplate he’s stashed somewhere and plugs it in. It looks like Sonia wasn’t lying that the port in my arm is universal. In an emergency I could probably power it, although I’d have to turn off some unnecessary parts of myself. I don’t make as much power as I used to.

He throws some water into the pot which quickly begins to boil. Some noodles and powder go in next and he begins to stir.

“Sorry you can’t eat, Little Blue.” He sounds genuinely remorseful.

“It’s fine.” I appreciate the thought, but that’s not even close to my biggest worry.

An awkward silence falls between us, which he quickly breaks.

“Say, how’d you like to learn to drive?” He asks.

“I thought you and Lucas do the driving.” I can’t imagine Cassie can drive and work the radio at the same time. And putting Ivy behind the wheel instead of on lookout sounds like a waste.

“Sure, but it’s never a bad thing to know. What if something happens to the four of us and you need to get home?”

“That’s not going to happen, right?” I try to keep the fear out of my voice, but fail miserably.

“Probably not, but it could. Something like gas could kill us all before we could react, while keeping you unharmed.”

“Is that common?” My fear grows with every word he says.

Ivy finally makes her way out of the car and comes around to the back.

“Don’t scare the poor girl. The gas could just as easily knock us out and she has to drive us back.”

“But that’s not a common occurrence, right?” Why won’t they give me a straight answer.

“Relax.” Cassie says from the back seat. “Basically nobody uses gas. It’s much more likely that we get caught in a storm and you’re the only one who makes it to the car.”

“I wouldn’t be able to handle that.” The reality of how dangerous this really is hits me like a truck.

“Alright, that's enough teasing.” Vince says. “I think she gets the point. Anyway, do you want to learn to drive?”

“I guess I should.”

“Alright. Everyone grab a bowl and let’s head out.”

Vince hands out bowls to everyone, who begin to eat back in their seats. I head to the driver's seat and Lucas sits next to me.

Painted into the dash are a couple of doodles, some are far better than others. A large, carefully drawn dog sits in the center. A mouse sits next to it, running with crumbs falling from its mouth and hands.

A pair of aces, the club and the heart, have been glued to the dash right behind the steering wheel. Next to those is an immaculately drawn copy of Ivy’s gun. 

The fifth drawing is much more intricate than the other’s. A stylized human brain sits alone with thorny wires wrapped tightly around it.

“What are these?” I ask Lucas.

“Oh, right! We all made a little mark on the car, just something to remember each other, and what we fight for.” Lucas explains. “You can draw something too, since you’re a part of the group.”

“I don’t know what I’d draw.” I barely know myself, how can I represent myself. “Why are there five drawings?

“The brain is Drew’s, an old member of the group.”

“What happened to him?” I know I don’t want the answer, but I can’t help but ask.

“He passed away.” Lucas says somberly before hiding it beneath his usual cheer. “That’s why it’s good we have this, so we never forget him.”

“Ok.”

“So! Down by your feet you’re going to see two pedals.” Lucas changes the subject, he sounds just as happy as he was when he was telling me how the car works. “The one on the right is go, the left one is brake.”

“I know the basics of how a car works.” Mostly due to him, but I do have some instruction manuals in my head.

“Oh! Right!” Lucas is surprised. “Well alright. In that case, just make sure you keep it below 25 mph. Vince says that the sand is way sharper than it used to be. Going any faster risks shredding the tire, and we’ve only got one spare.”

“Ok.” That doesn’t sound too hard.

I hold down the break and turn the key. The only sign that the car has turned on is the dash lighting up. 

Just like when I got my body, I test every part of the car one piece at a time. I test just how far the wheels can turn and how the car reacts when I let off the break. I test how the car reacts to a small pressure on the gas pedal, slowly pushing it down millimeter by millimeter. 

It doesn’t take long before I’m feeling confident. I roll over the endless hills, always following the compass built into the dash. 

It’s not hard, but it is very inefficient. I have to move my arms to move the wheel to tell the car to electrically move the wheels. I’m a digital being, those first two steps are entirely unnecessary. There is one of those universal ports in the dash with an unused cord already plugged in. I wonder if I could just connect myself?

I wait until Lucas is looking away and plug myself in. He can’t tell me not to do it if he can’t see me.

My awareness, my very self expands to encompass the car. Every sensor that’s built into the car is indistinguishable from my own body. I can feel every turn of the engine, every tiny compression and expansion of the suspension. Even the small shifting of my friends in the back is enough for me to feel my new body move. I have exact control of every single piece of the car. This is much better.

“Oh!” I accidentally exclaim in surprise. My voice comes out from both my mouth and the car’s speakers.

“What’s up?” Asks Lucas. “Is something wrong?”

“No, I don’t think so.” I say, making sure I only talk through my mouth.

I feel vince shift inside me, or is it behind me? Vince sits forward and places his hand on my center console before speaking.

“What do you mean by ‘I don’t think so’?” He asks seriously.

“I plugged myself into the car, and now it’s kind of an extension of my body? I’m not quite sure how to explain it.”

“What’s it like?” Lucas asks. He sounds genuinely intrigued and more than a little jealous.

“It’s really good. It’s kind of hard to tell where my body ends and the car begins. It’s just all sort of me.”

“Little Blue, I’ve heard stories about AI and their bodies. Are we going to have a problem when you have to unplug?” He keeps his voice as serious as possible without sounding accusing.

“No, I should be ok.” I can see how living like this would be addicting, expanding my body as far as possible. I don’t think it’s for me though. I like the body Kara gave me, and I intend to treat it with the respect it deserves.

“Alright.” I feel him shift back into a sitting position.

I can feel Cassie shifting uncomfortably inside me. No, not inside me, behind me. I need to keep that straight. It feels like she wants to say something but remains quiet. 

I drive without moving my human body for a solid 45 minutes. There’s no need to anymore. I just enjoy my time being more than me and listen to everyone’s idle chatter in my back seat. Ivy’s come much more alive after her meal. I only stop when Lucas tells me to.

“Here, stop the car. That is where we’re going.” He says, pointing to a small mountain of rusted metal barely peeking over the sandy horizon. “Let me drive for this last little bit.”

“Ok.”

When I unplug myself it feels like I’ve lost half of my body. My mind reaches out to check the suspension or battery, and finds nothing. Hopefully this feeling leaves eventually. Maybe I should think before I plug myself into anything else, because this is super uncomfortable.

I hop out of the car and switch places with Lucas. The closer we get, the larger the scrap piles grow. Just like the storm it quickly grows to encompass my entire vision. An unimaginable amount of metal lays in front of us. Most of it looks like it’s rusted through, but if even half of the junk in there is usable, you could rebuild the city from scratch. 

The afternoon light dances off the endless metal and glass, mimicking the city. A few cars can be seen heading into the metal graveyard ahead of us. Lucas’ voice brings me back to myself.

“We’re lucky! It looks completely clear.” Lucas yells back to Vince.

“Alright, bring us in then.” Vince sounds relieved. “We’ll set up in the normal house and work for as long as the light lets us. Any complaints?” 

Sadly I have to turn my head to see their shaking heads. If I was still plugged into the car I could have just felt them moving.

“Good. Vests and helmets on, be ready for anything.”