But for a Slime

* * *

“Report to me when both the captain of the guards and the clan healers have arrived. Prioritize the healers of the mind.”

The maid bowed to Gwenvair, “Yes, First in Line for Matriarch.”

“I will be in the room with my sister. Seek me out immediately.”

She bowed, “Yes, First in Line for Matriarch.”

Gwenvair nodded and turned away, knocking softly on Kilniara’s room before simply opening it and slipping inside, as was her right. She came in to find Kilniara curled up on the bed, sobbing softly into her pillow. Her head came up in surprise to hear the door open before dropping in relief to see Gwenvair come in. She turned away and buried her head into the pillow again and her sobbing took on a more manic tone. Gwenvair stifled a sigh and ran to her, leaping onto the bed next to her.

“Kilniara… shh… Shh… it’s ok. It’s ok.”

Kilniara immediately reacted to Gwenvair’s presence and snapped on to her like a lamprey, her arms gluing themselves to Gwenvair as she clamped her in a rigid hug. Gwenvair continued to whisper softly in her ear while comforting her. She laid a hand on her arm, and washed Kilniara’s spirit in Gwenvair’s own calm and peace, returning Kilniara to a softer calm, but did not wish to drown her sorrow. She needed to release and while her anger was a simmering rage, it was not enough for Gwenvair to need to guard against.

She slowly released Kilniara’s pain while guarding against the anger and Kilniara’s sobs grew from their soft whimpers to great full body sobs full of pain. Gwenvair allowed the loss, guided it, seeking Kilniara’s healing without allowing the pain and rage to twist her and ultimately destroy her. Even as Gwenvair did so, a bitter twist of pain tore at her deep within her heart as she began removing Kilniara from the bind. Kilniara is an… was an amazing sister… this… Gwenvair struggled to hold her own pain in even as she pushed to calm Kilniara’s pain and dampen it so it did not burn so hotly with her heart. Gwenvair continued holding Kilniara but then stopped when a knock came from the door. Kilniara immediately quieted herself but buried her head into Gwenvair’s shoulder.

“May I come in?” Joe called softly from outside and Kilniara quickly sat up, rubbing her eyes and calming herself. Gwenvair grimaced, upset that Joe had interrupted Kilniara’s release of pain and she spoke out.

“It would be best if you do not.”

The room paused, everyone holding their breath while Kilniara continued preparing herself if Joe came in.

“Is there some… cultural difference here? Among my people, … why can I not comfort Kilniara?”

Gwenvair looked at Kilniara in shock, eyes widening. Both of them were utterly surprised, so much so that even Kilniara’s shame and pain were forgotten. Kilniara stared at Gwenvair, and smile sadly. The spoke not a word to each other, but words were meaningless, and unnecessary for their eyes conveyed everything each needed to know.

I… don’t want him here, but…

He’s… confused, he needs us… me.

I know… but… I’m hurting

I know, but … he is my responsibility.

Kilniara offered nothing in response at that, simply looking away and nodding, unable to hold back a stifled sob that broke its way through. Gwenvair sighed deeply.

“It is not good… for … A man should not see his wife in pain.”

As soon as Gwenvair finished speaking, Joe pushed on through the door, poorly wrapped in a bathing gown, before coming to a halt and speaking cautiously, “I need to talk with you. Garnedell told me about…”

He looked over at Kilniara and quickly noticed her pain as she desperately attempted to clean herself up and become presentable for him. For some odd reason Gwenvair could not understand, this seemed to enrage Joe and he immediately stomped towards Kilniara, angered. Rage flowed over his being, but Gwenvair felt no fear easily feeling his emotions. She felt only awe and then amazement as his rage was simply his anger against the evil committed against Kilniara and, to a lesser degree, her concern for looking presentable. Joe immediately pulled Kilniara into his arms and then his lap as he sat on her bed.

“Sob. Cry your eyes out. Wail in pain. Rage in anger and hate at what happened while weeping in horror and fear over it. But never… never fear showing me your emotions; your fear, your hate, your pain, your sobbing terror. Please, be comfortable in front of me!”

Kilniara’s shock only grew as Joe spoke, and Gwenvair found her own shock magnified in equal amounts. Gwenvair stood and ran to the door, closing it in the face of both the boys who looked in; Garnedell with curiosity and Zilnek in fear for his sister. Gwenvair nodded to them and shut the door, whispering a soft ‘sorry’ to them as she did so. She turned back to see Kilniara sitting in Joe’s lap and pressing back against him futilely.

“Kilniara. Relax. It’s OK. Feel the fear and pain. Please don’t hide it from me.”

Kilniara didn’t release her emotions, as was only right, but she did finally succumb to pressing against his chest and struggling to keep her tears in. Gwenvair tsked, frowning. She needs to release!

“Joe. You … you should leave.”

Joe looked down at Kilniara, then back up at Gwenvair, deciding that she, at least, could answer some questions, “I’m lost here. Why can I not comfort her?”

Gwenvair shook her head, “It would not… be right… or wise.”

Joe seemed confused by this, “She cannot cry in front of me? Women cannot cry in front of men?”

Gwenvair sighed at that, “Maybe… their father’s and brothers… but never their husband.”

“Truly?”

Gwenvair nodded but said nothing and Joe shook his head in frustration.

“Amongst my people, in a good relationship, the wife… the one person a wife is allowed to reveal themselves completely to is their husband. And… I will not begrudge it for Kilniara.”

Kilniara froze in Joe’s arms, but did not move and Gwenvair knew exactly what she was thinking. Not… not now… that would break her…

“Men do not often enjoy… emotional women.”

Joe chuffed at that, a half laugh as he shook his head, “That is true for nobody enjoys any overly emotional person. But, in this, it is more than acceptable… even expected. If such a thing were to happen to me, I would be… quite enraged and angry, as well as very gratefully relieved, but I would likely be very emotional. Anyone would.”

Gwenvair frowned, thoughtful, “Your… your people… the men of your people accept their wives weeping and emotional in their presence?”

Joe snorted once again, “There are exceptions for some people… possibly, but on the whole, yes. Especially if the event were something similar to this. Nobody likes people who are overly emotional often and regularly.

But this is not often or regular. This is one time. Not only that, this pain… it is … extreme. She should be … in fact I insist that she release-her-pain-in-violent-outbursts-of-emotional-cleansing-leading-to-catharsis!”

The bubble of magic the eccentric so easily released on a regular basis erupted outwards and offered an explanation to the word he’d used. It had been… a perfect word for the current situation, and she mulled the word through her thoughts. Vent… interesting… how strange his people must be to have such a word.

Gwenvair quickly returned her attention to the other two, but quieted when she saw Kilniara push back, looking put into his eyes.

“You…want me… hic… to … wail?”

Joe’s face immediately softened at that, and he gathered her in, but she resisted as she wanted to keep her eyes pinned to his and he allowed it as he responded, “Of course. It is wise… good if you do so. It will help… a little”

Kilniara fell silent at that, searching his eyes deeply and Gwenvair felt her stomach drop. No… no! No! Don’t ask now… no… deal with one pain first… don’t…! Gwenvair quickly stepped forward, raising a hand and opening her mouth to stop Kilniara before she could ask the dreaded question but she was too late.

“You… stil… you…”

Kilniara trailed off and Gwenvair quickly interjected softly, more a warning to Kilniara and hoped Joe would not noticed, “No. Not… no…”

Joe snapped his head up, of course easily hearing Gwenvair’s call and he looked back at Kilniara, now deeply searching Kilniara’s eyes as well. Gwenvair felt despair collapse her entire day. No! No! No! I don’t… no!

Joe spoke firmly, commanding, “I’m missing something. Ask me. What is it?!”

Kilniara turned away, fear now fully felt as she realized she would hear the answer she knew was coming, but Joe grasped the thread like any stout ulvan, digging in and refusing to release. Kilniara squirmed and Joe pushed the issue.

“Tell me.”

Kilniara began sobbing and turning away, pushing away from Joe and attempting to escape. The two wrestled like this for a few moments before Joe fell into despair and released her. This, of course, was the worst action Joe could make, but Kilniara was in too much pain to notice his despair, taking his release as rejection and her sobbing began breaking through her failing control.

Joe looked Kilniara and Gwenvair noticed Joe’s uncertainty and his struggle to balance his desire to comfort her with his desire to give her what she wanted. Gwenvair felt her heart fall at that and relented, speaking softly.

“She… is… in despair.”

Joe frowned then turned concern as he settled and shifted to look carefully at Kilniara, turning his whole focus on her, “Can you tell me?”

Kilniara noticed his shift in emotion easily and looked up, face fluctuating between worry and wonder as she spoke softly, “I’m afraid.”

Joe struggled to hide his pain, the hurt of Kilniara’s distrust touching him deeply and Gwenvair found herself struggling not to reach out to him as he continued, “Then… please… why are you in despair? Did I … fail you?”

Kilniara quickly reacted to that, able to push her own despair down while sitting up on her knees beside him before tentatively reaching out a hand to lay against his cheek, “No! No! You did not fail me. You saved me.”

“Then… why?”

Kilniara’s resolve sputtered out, a flame in cold wind, and she turned away to once more struggle to contain her sobs. Joe watched and his fear only grew. He turned to Gwenvair.

“Please. Tell me. I don’t understand anything that is going on!”

Gwenvair stared at Joe for a bit, unable to speak as it was not her place. She looked to Kilniara, watching her sob. Gwenvair came forward and settled next to her, wrapping her arms around Kilniara.

“Oooh… Kilniara!”

Kilniara’s resolve broke even more, and her choking sobs came through. Gwenvair reached a hand up and began to brush her hand through Kilniara’s soft feathery hair. Kilniara continued her struggle to maintain her emotional calm. The two remained this way for a few moments until Kilniara finally looked up at Gwenvair and nodded softly before turning away once again but not before Gwenvair saw the utter despair return to Kilniara’s eyes. Gwenvair sighed, her heart heavy as the mood grew ever more depressing. It is too soon. Of course she would be rejected. The least you could do would be to give her time.

Gwenvair sighed and asked the question she knew was pointless; the question she knew Kilniara knew the answer to but still desperately wished to ask, “She… wishes to know if you would still have her.”