Denial is the Way

Break from the main story

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Kori finding out Yan is a father reaction:

 

The silence dragged on as Yan and Kori stared at each other. Yan could only stare in dread while Kori could not wipe the confused expression off his face. And it only grew worse after Nan called Yan daddy. 

 

No one said anything as time continued counting. Even Nan kept his mouth shut when he noticed the mood. Although it felt like his stomach was going to eat itself, Nan was too scared to say anything. 

 

And it ended up being his growling stomach that broke the silence. 

 

Nan turned red as he put his head on his dad's shoulder to cover his face, "Sowwy, daddy." 

 

Yan cleared his throat, finally looking away from Kori to glance at his son, "It is okay. I need to start breakfast anyway." 

 

Then he looked back at Kori once again, "Why don't you come in? Are you hungry?" 

 

Kori still held a confused look but shook his head anyway, "I am not hungry." 

 

Yan moved towards the kitchen as Kori walked into the house. He closed the door behind him, locking it, before following Yan and his (Yan) supposed son. 

 

When they entered the kitchen, no one spoke as Yan sat Nan at the table on a chair higher than the others. Kori sat on the other chair, glancing at Nan then at Yan. 

 

Nan watched his father, not saying anything to anyone. 

 

Yan started cooking in the silence as the air felt almost suffocating from unspoken words. Minutes continued as Yan finished up making eggs, bacon, and toast with orange juice. 

 

He did not want orange juice, but he decided to drink the same as his son to ignore the urge to drink alcohol. 

 

He finished putting the food on the plates, and poured orange juice into two cups. Yan also grabbed a straw for one of the cups so that his son wouldn't end up making a mess. 

 

Turning off the stove and putting the dirty dishes in the sink, Yan grabbed the plates and cups after cleaning his area. He brought them over to the table, placing a plate and cup in front of his son. 

 

"Thank you!" Nan finally spoke to thank his dad. Although, as he looked at his plate, the amount of food was too much for him. 

 

His mom always gave him small food portions, so his stomach was not big enough to handle more significant amounts. Nan wanted to say something, but he did not want to seem ungrateful, so he kept quiet. 

 

There were already utensils at the table as Nan picked up a fork and slowly ate his eggs. He thought if he ate at a slow pace, maybe he could finish his plate. 

 

"Do you want any syrup?" Yan asked Nan once he put his plate and cup down. He decided to sit across from Kori. 

 

Nan shook his head, "NanNan is good." 

 

Yan hummed, walking out the kitchen for a second to get something from the living room. Once he came back, he had ear covers in his hand. He put them over Nan's ears so that Nan wouldn't hear his and Kori's conversation. 

 

Nan looked at his dad but did not question it as he went back to eating. 

 

Once Yan sat down, he started talking, "I know you have questions." 

 

For the first time, Kori put his phone up because he wanted to focus on this. "I do. And I can tell there is a story to this. I want to hear all of it from the beginning." 

 

"The beginning? Are you sure you want to listen to me talk for so long?" Yan responded with a forced, amused tone. 

 

Kori glanced at Nan before looking back at Yan, "I do."

 

Yan swallowed, looking down at the table as he did not want to recall his past with Kim. They were never good for each other, even when they spent a few years trying to act like it. 

 

"I had this ex-girlfriend named Kim. Our relationship was something that burned and never stopped, consuming everything. We were toxic as there were more bad times than good. 

 

"But we tried to focus on the small amount of good. And, unsurprisingly, that never worked. I ended up drinking to the point of also getting high to deal with my and Kim's relationship. I had others and family telling me to end it with her, but I didn't want to. 

 

"She was like a drug. But four years ago, we finally broke up, and the main reason is that she became pregnant. 

 

"We both did not want to be parents, especially me. But she decided to raise Nan. I knew I would never be a good father, so I left her and my unborn son, cutting them from my life. Yeah, I made a terrible mistake and should have talked with my mother instead of doing what I did. 

 

"But at the same time, you cannot always force someone, who doesn't want to be a parent, to become one. Sometimes, it would leave the child getting abused out of resentment. And I knew because I did not want to be a father, that if I stayed, I would have emotionally abused Nan. 

 

"Although, Kim did force me three years ago to see him. I did not want my family to know, so I started visiting Nan on certain days. I wanted to be better, so I never emotionally abused him, but I did leave every time and barely came back.

 

"And Kim didn’t do better. Yeah, she decided to raise him, but she ended up neglecting him. Some days she was there, and other days, she would act like he didn't exist because she did not want to be a mother. 

 

"I tried to tell her to give Nan to a loving family, but she told me I did not have a right to tell her anything about Nan. And now, Kim is gone for good, and I am left taking care of Nan. 

 

"This time, I want to take care of him. I do not trust myself with being a parent, but I am all he has right now. I want to do better and make up for the mistake I made. 

 

"And that is the story." Yan finished. He picked up his cup and drained half the content down as his throat felt dry from talking too much. 

 

Silence entered the room again as Kori looked down towards Yan's hand. Yan started to grow nervous from the lack of response. 

 

"If you want to leave, that is okay. I won't stop you." Yan spoke. 

 

Kori shook his head, grabbing Yan's hand as he squeezed it. "Everyone makes terrible or/and dumb decisions. And as long as you learn from it while trying to do better, I will not hate you for it or think you are a terrible person. 

 

"You told me before how your mother wanted grandchildren, right? You should have told her about Nan at that time. But I will never hold that against you. 

 

"Tell me, Yan, look me straight in the eye and say that you will do right by your son. And if not, I will leave for good." 

 

Yan looked at Kori as they both stared at each other without looking away or Yan backing down. "I will do right by my son. I will, not I want to, raise him." 

 

Kori looked deeply into Yan's eyes, searching for something. And when he found it, he smiled, "Okay, now, I want to introduce myself to your son properly." 

 

Yan nodded before reaching over and taking the ear covers off of Nan. He set them on the table before asking Nan, "Do you want to meet daddy's friend?" 

 

He and Kori still did not give each other a label. 

 

"Boyfriend," Kori interjected, "hi, Nan, I am your dad's boyfriend." 

 

Yan felt his heart skip a beat as his son shyly waved at Kori before asking, "Daddy, what is a boyfwiend?" 

 

Yan and Kori laughed at Nan's question as the surrounding atmosphere felt clear and light. 

 

---

Yan and Nan's weekend routine:

 

Nan woke up first, rubbing his eyes before sitting upon his knees. He moved closer to his dad, shaking him awake. "Daddy, it is time to wake up." 

 

Yan squeezed his eyes before opening them and turning over. He grabbed Nan, wrapping his arms around him as he pulled his son close. Nan giggled as he rested his head on Yan's chest. 

 

"Are you hungry?" Yan asked, trying to clear the sleep from his eyes. 

 

"NanNan is hungwy." 

 

"What do you want to eat?" 

 

"A sandwich!" 

 

Yan hummed, keeping a tight hold on Nan as he moved out of the bed. He left his room, walking into the kitchen as he sat Nan at the table. 

 

He quickly made them a sandwich as Nan watched his dad in silence. Nan did this a lot, only to make sure that his dad was not going anywhere else. 

 

It would take a long time before he would get out of this mindset. 

 

Once Yan finished, he brought the food and them back to the living room. Yan sat on the couch with the food on the other side of him. Nan moved into his lap, grabbing his plate as he leaned back and started eating it. 

 

Yan reached over, grabbing the remote to turn on the TV. "Do you want to watch a movie?" 

 

"NanNan will watch whatevew daddy watches." 

 

"You have to have something you like." 

 

Nan shook his head, "No. NanNan likes whatevew daddy likes." 

 

Yan sighed, patting Nan's head before combing his hand through Nan's messy hair. "Okay." Later on, he could try to get Nan to find things he (Nan) will like. 

 

He put on any kid-appropriate movie as he and Nan spent the morning, even the afternoon, watching TV.

 

When night came, Kori would visit to hang with them for a few hours. 

 

"I think I found the piece. You can put it there." Kori told Nan. They were working on a 300-piece puzzle because Nan wanted to show them how smart he was. 

 

Yan also found another piece, handing it to Nan, "I found another one. You can put it on the puzzle." 

 

Nan grabbed it, connecting the piece to the others. The picture started to come along. Nan broadly smiled, "NanNan wants to do mowe puzzles!" 

 

Yan softly smiled, patting his son's head, "We got to finish this one first, buddy." 

 

Nan eagerly nodded his head before staring at the puzzle pieces with a concentrated look. After a few seconds, he found one that would connect to the others. He picked it up, handing it to Kori, "Kowi, NanNan found this!" 

 

Kori chuckled, "Good job, you are so smart. Do you want me to put it on the puzzle?" 

 

Nan nodded. 

 

Kori grabbed the piece, connecting it with the others. Yan watched them as he grew warm at the picture in front of him. He loves this. 

 

Once Kori left, and it was time for bed, Yan and Nan would get ready. Taking a bath together to making sure their teeth were clean. 

 

When they got on the bed, they instantly fell asleep as Nan moved into his dad's arms; he felt safe and warm for the first time in forever. 

 

---

Ender and Nevan telling their friends that they are together reaction:

 

Everyone was at a diner, sitting down in a booth as they ate their food. The conversations were light and funny before Ender softly tapped his fork on the table. 

 

Everyone looked at him as he started speaking, "Do you know why I gathered you here?" 

 

Tia laughed, "Are we in the freaking mafia now?" 

 

"If we are, I already have a hit list set up," Kori commented while texting someone on his phone. 

 

"Hmm, I wonder if my insurance can cover me being in the mafia," Fe spoke. 

 

Nevan covered his mouth, trying to hold back his laughter. Although, his shaking shoulders gave him away. 

 

Ender pouted, "I hate all of you. None of you can go to my baby shower now." He felt Nevan patting his leg, trying to comfort him. 

 

Tia coughed, trying to hold in her laughter, "We are only playing." 

 

Kori shrugged, and Fe did not respond. 

 

"Well, I wanted everyone to come out so that I can tell you that Nevan and I are together." 

 

"Is he the father too?" Fe asked. 

 

"It is not much of a surprise. Nevan spoils you; it was only a matter of time." Tia responded as she went back to eating. 

 

Kori stopped responding to the conversation as he started getting into his messages with Yan. 

 

Nevan silently nodded towards Fe's question while Ender huffed. "You know what, forget it. Enjoy your meals because we are now splitting the bill." 

 

Nevan patted Ender's leg, leaning closer as he whispered, "It is okay. We can still end up surprising them at the baby shower." 

 

Ender smiled at that. "I changed my mind. I will pay for it all!" 

 

"Ah, I am so jealous. You always knew how to coax Ender well, Nevan." Tia complained. 

 

"I know," Nevan smirked. 

 

Ender glared at him, "I won't pay for your food." 

 

Nevan internally laughed because he knew that Ender was lying. But he finds Ender cute when he acts like this.