Denial is the Way

Nevan and Ender were in Nevan’s car, driving to Ender’s family home. 

 

Ender was in the middle of giving Nevan directions when he cut himself off. “I have to pee.” He said, shaking his leg as the feeling came over him. 

 

They were a bit far from Ender’s remote place, so there were a few stores, food places, and buildings around. Nevan turned the wheel, changing his direction as he turned into the gas station since it was the closest to them. 

 

Nevan parked in one of the spots in front of the store. Ender quickly got out of the car, not waiting for Nevan to say anything as he fast-walked into the gas station. 

 

Once inside, Ender went straight to the bathroom, walking into a stall instead of using the urinal. Ender quickly did his business, closing the door behind him, feeling relieved when he got it all out. 

 

When he finished, he did the usual shake, zipped up his pants, and walked out the stall to wash his hands. Ender left the restroom, seeing that Nevan was in line buying something. He stepped closer and saw that Nevan was buying chips and a jar of peanut butter! 

 

Ender excitedly made his way over. 

 

He has been eating healthy for the babies, taking his vitamins, and even doing yoga since the doctor recommended it. Sometimes, Ender wanted some weird combinations he craved. So, seeing the peanut butter and chips made him happy. 

 

“Nevan, you are the best!” Ender spoke once he was near. 

 

Nevan turned towards him, looking at Ender’s excited face as he kept glancing at the food. The man could not help smiling at Ender’s cute actions. 

 

Seeing the smile, Ender deflated and grew shy. He looked at the ground, counting the tiles as he tried to get Nevan’s smile from his mind. 

 

Why can’t Nevan understand how attractive he is, especially when he smiles! 

 

Ender was not the only one thinking this. The cashier blushed as she bagged the items. “T-That will be $11.25, s-sir.” 

 

Nevan looked back at the woman as he wondered why Ender started staring at the ground. He paid, grabbing the bag and handing it to Ender. The cashier took the receipt, quickly writing something on it before giving it to Nevan. “Have a good day!” She shyly smiled. 

 

Ender held the bag, looking at the food inside as he was ready to eat it. Nevan grabbed the receipt, sticking it into the bag without looking at it. Ender frowned at Nevan’s hand for blocking the delicious view. 

 

Nevan tilted his head at the cashier, indicating a goodbye as he walked out with Ender. They made it into the car, closing the doors behind them as they put on their seatbelt. 

 

Ender opened the bag wide, getting ready to take out the peanut butter and chips so that he could eat them. But he stopped himself when he noticed something on the receipt. He pulled it out instead and saw that the cashier wrote her number on it with ‘call me’ under it. 

 

Seeing the number, Ender felt anger coursing through him for some reason. He quickly tore up the receipt, wanting to go back in and throw it at the cashier. He glared at the torn pieces like the paper offended him.

 

Nevan did not start driving because he wanted Ender to have time to get out the food he bought him. But when he saw Ender tearing up the receipt, he looked at the man with a confused expression. “Ender, what’s wrong?” 

 

“Nothing, can we go?” Ender snapped. 

 

Nevan hummed, wanting to know what was wrong but noticed that Ender was in a mood. He decided not to push and started driving. 

 

Ender threw the torn pieces into the bag, deflating a bit as he felt guilty. He didn’t mean to snap at Nevan. Ender didn’t even mean to tear up the receipt. It is not like he and Nevan are going out, so there was no need to act in this way. 

 

But Ender’s mood has been all over the place lately. 

 

“I’m sorry for snapping,” Ender muttered. 

 

Since the car was silent, Nevan heard him. “It is okay.” 

 

Ender finally took out the peanut butter and chips. He opened the bag before unscrewing the top of the jar. Ender pulls the protector cover off the jar, dumping it in the bag. Finally, he took a chip, dipped it in the peanut butter, and ate it. 

 

The taste was utterly salty but so delicious as Ender moaned. Nevan gripped the wheel as his eyes darkened a bit. Ender grabbed another chip, this time coating it with a lot of peanut butter as he took another bite. 

 

He was getting ready to moan again from the taste that he has been oddly craving when Nevan cut him off. “I still need the directions to your family’s home.” 

 

Ender chewed the food in his mouth before swallowing it down. “Oh yeah, I forgot, sorry.” He started giving Nevan directions again, silently staring at the chips and peanut butter with longing. 

 

Ender gave Nevan the code to type in for the gates to open when they reached Ender’s family home. 

 

They drove in, going down the long road as the vast house, or more specifically, the villa came in view. Ender took the time to eat more of his food, unknowingly torturing Nevan a bit. 

 

Nevan parked the car as Ender already finished his chips. The jar of peanut butter was almost half gone. They got out of the vehicle, Ender taking his peanut butter with him. 

 

Once they neared the entrance, the door opened. “Thank you, Mr. Forn,” Ender said. 

 

Mr. Forn bowed, “Young master En, your mother is in the guest room on the left-wing. Would you like me to walk you there?” 

 

“No, thank you, I got it.” 

 

The butler gave one last bow, glancing at Nevan before walking away. 

 

“Follow me,” Ender told Nevan. Nevan nodded and followed him. 

 

They made their way towards beautifully wooded long stairs, walking up as Ender took Nevan to the left-wing of the house. 

 

They passed by a few rooms as Nevan glanced at the many pictures on the walls. The photos had Ender and his family in them. For a vast home, there was still a warm, loving feeling inside. 

 

It made a person feel right at home. 

 

They stopped at an open room as the smell of paint hit their nose. Ender ran in; his arms already open as he yelled, “Mom!” 

 

Nevan entered the room after him, seeing a beautiful older woman, who looked young, hugging Ender. She smiled, her lovely face softening while lighting up. “It is good to see you too, son.” 

 

Ender’s mother had thick white hair that was in a high ponytail. Her face was smooth of wrinkles except for her laugh lines and crow’s feet. Her surrounding air was refined like a wealthy person but had a playful youthfulness to it. 

 

Even though her hands were rough, showing they were hands that worked hard all her life and paint-covered her, she still had an elegance to her. 

 

Ender stepped away from his mother as she glanced at Nevan. “Well, hello there, young man. My son did not tell me that you were this handsome.” She greeted with teasing in her tone. 

 

Nevan blushed a bit, bowing as he said, “Hello ma’am, it is nice to meet you. I’m Nevan. And thank you for the compliment; you are lovely yourself.” 

 

Ender’s mother softly slapped Ender’s arm, “And he didn’t mention how well-mannered you are. So different from En. There is no need to call me, ma’am. Address me as mom or Leilani.” 

 

Nevan grew shy, clearing his throat as he looked away while Ender blushed. Ender felt his heart-stopping for a second when he heard his mother’s words. Is she trying to kill me! 

 

“Why don’t we get to painting?” Ender awkwardly laughed. He walked to the only table in the room, putting his peanut butter down as he picked up a paintbrush. 

 

“Oh yes, I have three more rooms to get to today.” His mother agreed. 

 

When it comes to home repairs or repainting rooms, his mother loves to do it herself. She honestly forgets that she could call someone to do it. Sometimes, Ender feels like she had grown used to doing things independently, that even when she got rich, the feeling never left her. 

 

Nevan grabbed a paintbrush, putting it into the sky blue paint as he started painting a wall. Ender and his mother joined in as they were working faster since it was three people now. 

 

Four hours passed when they entered the last room to paint. Ender did not join in as he was tired. He sat on the ground with paint on his face and the plastic bag he wore (his mother gave Nevan and him one so that they wouldn’t dirty their clothes). 

 

Ender had his peanut butter in his lap, eating it with his fingers as he watched his mother and Nevan. He felt like banging his head on the floor as he listened to his mother telling Nevan stories. 

 

“Did you know that En never liked wearing his diapers?” His mother started. 

 

Nevan chuckled, shaking his head, “No, but I would love to hear it.” 

 

“Mom, can you please not?” Ender pleaded from the floor. But his mother ignored his pleas as she continued. 

 

“En was a difficult baby and toddler. He hated wearing his diapers for some reason. He would take it off when no one was looking, and there would be accidents all the time. So, his brothers and sisters banded together and gave him food to distract him. Then, they would put his diaper back on. 

 

“En ended up being a chubby baby with all the food they fed him. He was so adorable with his big cheeks and little belly. It made you want to pinch him. I have pictures if you want to see them.” His mother reminisced. 

 

Nevan laughed, almost dropping paint on him as Ender groaned. “Please, no pictures,” Ender added. 

 

His mother glanced at him, “Stop complaining, hun. I’m your mother; I have to embarrass you to your friend.” 

 

Ender narrowed his eyes at his mother, emphasizing the word ‘friend,’ but he ignored it because he did not want his mother to embarrass him any longer. 

 

“I don’t mind seeing pictures,” Nevan commented.

 

“See. Nevan doesn’t mind. I should tell the story of the stuffed animals or how clingy you were.” His mother responded. 

 

Ender popped up, dropping his peanut butter, “Mom, please, there should be a limit on embarrassing stories.” 

 

“What about the stuffed animals? I offered to buy him one earlier, and he got excited.” Nevan spoke. 

 

His mother started chuckling when she began to remember how Ender was a child and teen. “En loves stuffed animals. But during his teen years, he grew to dislike them because of his siblings. 

 

“They bought En so many stuffed animals; it filled his room. En had a hard time telling his siblings no when it came to gifts, so he accepted them all until the point that he ended up having nightmares. En would run into our room, asking if he can sleep with us because he thought the stuffed animals in his room were out to get him. 

 

“It was so cute. Even En’s brothers and sisters started fighting to have En sleep in their room rather than getting rid of the stuffed animals.” 

 

Ender covered his face, feeling like he was going to cry. Did his mother have to embarrass him like this? 

 

Nevan smiled, imagining a teenage Ender going to his parent’s room, asking to sleep in the bed with them. “I bet he cutely asked to sleep in the room with you.” 

 

Ender blushed at Nevan’s words. 

 

His mother nodded her head, agreeing, “Yep. It reminded me of when he was a child and used to follow me everywhere. He rarely left my side, always clinging and wanting attention. I hope you are ready to deal with that. His hormones will be going crazy, so he will probably go back to being clingy.” 

 

Ender pouted, “I’m not going to be clingy.” 

 

“I don’t mind.” Nevan quickly said. 

 

His mother softly slapped Nevan’s arm, “I like you. You can come over whenever you want to. It can be with or without my son; I don’t mind.” 

 

“Mom, you sound like you are picking up Nevan,” Ender commented. 

 

“Nonsense. I just don’t mind having more children.” 

 

More children, who! Stop making it seem like he is your son-in-law! Ender complained to his mother in his head. 

 

And Nevan, being the gentleman he is, only smiled brightly at his mother. “I would love to visit again. You are a lovely woman to speak to.” 

 

His mother giggled. Freaking giggled! “No need to flatter me, Nevan. I already like you.” 

 

Ender sat back down in a huff, picking his peanut butter up as he ate it to deal with his problems. He came here to see his mother, and now he feels like a third wheel to her and Nevan. 

 

---

Ender laid on the couch, hugging a stuffed animal of a grey wolf. Nevan bought it for him a few days ago, and Ender could not stop himself from carrying it everywhere. 

 

He looked at Nevan, sitting on the couch with his laptop and headphones on. 

 

Ender has been trying to catch his attention for the last few minutes. “Nevan,” he called. But the man could not hear him with his earphones on. 

 

Sighing, Ender looked at the ceiling. Maybe he should see his other friends. It has been a while. And since it was November, people will end up busy when thanksgiving week starts. His mother always had the family stay at the family home for two weeks, so he barely hung out with his friends during November. 

 

Also, Ender wanted some attention. 

 

The grey wolf was not enough to get rid of his clingy feeling. His mother jinxed it; he knows she did. Looking back over at Nevan, Ender bit his lip, standing up. 

 

He walked over to Nevan, standing by the man, causing Nevan to look up at him. He pulled his headphones down, giving Ender a questioning look. 

 

Ender held the grey wolf towards his lips, unconsciously looking adorable. “I want some attention.” He muttered. His voice was low as he felt embarrassed for saying those words. 

 

Nevan swallowed, taking in how cute Ender looked. He closed his laptop, leaning back into the couch. He opens his arms, “Come here.” 

 

Ender sat down, sideways, in Nevan’s lap. His feet touched the couch’s pillows as he moved them under it. Nevan wrapped his arms around Ender’s waist, being careful about his stomach as he pulled the man closer. 

 

Ender shyly rested his head on Nevan. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your time.” He whispered. After getting his attention, he felt guilty and nervous. 

 

Humming, Nevan took in Ender’s scent. “I wouldn’t be here if I had a problem with everything you did. If you want something, come to me, I don’t mind doing it.” 

 

Ender kept a tight grip on his grey wolf, silently enjoying Nevan’s warmth. He was quiet for a second longer before asking, “How do you feel about staying at my family’s home for two weeks? You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.” 

 

Honestly, Ender felt mixed on Nevan coming. He wanted to put space between them, but at the same time, he didn’t. Plus, Ender knew his mother would love to see Nevan again. He swore that they acted like old friends even though there was a significant age difference between them. 

 

“I’m fine with it. I want to meet your whole family.” 

 

“You will regret those words when you meet them.” 

 

“Your mother will have my back if anything happens.” Nevan jokes. 

 

Ender rolled his eyes, “I think you and my mother need a break from each other.” 

 

“Why? Jealous?” Nevan surprisingly teased him. 

 

Ender huffed, putting the wolf towards his face to cover it as he did not answer Nevan. Nevan chuckled, softly rubbing Ender’s side; it kept him from touching the man’s stomach. 

 

The soft rubbing caused Ender to feel tired as he started to fall asleep in Nevan’s arms.