Denial is the Way

“A-Are you sure I’m having twins?” Ender asked, trying to keep from passing out. 

 

The doctor gave Ender a look; he did not feel like going through what he did last time with him. 

 

“Mr. Long, you are having twins.” The doctor emphasized his words. “Would you like a copy of the picture?” 

 

Ender stared at the screen, not saying anything as his words were stuck in his throat. He wanted to cry. Why do I always end up with terrible luck? Ender whined in his head. Due to being in his head, Ender didn’t hear the doctor’s question. 

 

Nevan glanced at Ender before looking at the doctor, who seemed used to Ender’s silences at times. He decided to answer instead. “We will take the picture.” 

 

The doctor raised his eyebrow at the word ‘we’ but nodded as he pushed a button to send the picture to his laptop. “I will email the picture to Mr. Long soon.” 

 

The doctor moved the equipment away, wiping it off as he pulled Ender’s shirt down. Ender finally came back to reality when he felt the doctor’s movements. Ender touched his stomach. 

 

Ender sat up, unconsciously rubbing his stomach, “Are we done?” 

 

The doctor nodded, “But before you go, I need to mention some things.” The man rolled his chair to the counter, grabbing his clipboard as he started to write some stuff down. 

 

“For one, you need to work on keeping your blood pressure down, maybe try yoga; exercising is also suitable for you and the babies. Second, because you are having multiple babies, you will have extra appointments to check on them. And you are going to have to start taking vitamins for your pregnancy. 

 

“Lastly, your due date is May 5th, but because you are having multiple babies, you might go into labor early. Also, as you get closer to your second trimester, your appetite will return. So, your weight loss will no longer be a problem.” The doctor explained. 

 

Ender’s mind felt like cotton as he blankly stared at the doctor while nodding his head. The doctor sighed at Ender’s vacant look but glancing at the other man who looked like he was paying attention, the doctor didn’t question it. 

 

The doctor stood up, “Do you have any questions?” 

 

Ender shook his head, still feeling a bit lost as his hand never left his stomach. 

 

At least he did not pass out yet. 

 

The doctor tipped his head at both of them, “You two have a good day. You can leave and pick up your paperwork at the desk.” He walked out, closing the door behind him. 

 

Ender sighed, finally moving his hand as he put it through his hair, gripping it. What am I going to do? 

 

Nevan grabbed Ender’s fingers, unhooking them from his hair, “You don’t have to worry, Ender, I am here to help you, even when the babies are born.” 

 

Ender felt the air leaving him as he heard Nevan’s words. “I-I need to pee.” He weakly said, cutting the conversation. 

 

“Okay, do you-” 

 

Interrupting Nevan, Ender shook his head, “I got it.” 

 

He got off the bed, feeling a drop of pee slipping out when he got on his feet. Ender blushed at the drop, but did not mention it as he slowly walked out the room and to the bathroom. He knew if he moved faster, he would end up peeing on himself. 

 

Nevan watched him, silently following behind. But he went to the desk to get Ender’s paperwork instead of going to the restroom with him. He could not stop thinking about Ender having twins. 

 

---

 

Ender was nearing three months as he still had not told his family or friends about him having twins. He currently rested in his bed, looking at the picture in his hand. 

 

A few days back, Ender received an email from the doctor of a picture from the ultrasound. He initially wanted to delete the message, but he stopped himself and printed out the photo instead. 

 

He sighed. Ender’s fingers rubbed across the two glowing dots in the photo. He did not know how to feel. It was already enough that he was pregnant in the first place. But, having twins was taking the cake. 

 

Ender would not hate his babies when they are born, but he did feel lost. 

 

He rubbed his stomach, telling it, you two are making this hard for me. 

 

Dropping his hand, Ender put the photo down, finally getting off his bed. Before he could walk out, his phone started to ring. Ender grabbed his cellphone from the nightstand, seeing that his mother was calling him. 

 

His throat grew dry as he tried to swallow his saliva down. It is like his mother knew that Ender did not tell her something. 

 

Pressing the call button, his mother greeted him, “Good morning, son. How is my grandbaby doing? You did have a doctor’s appointment a few days back, right?” 

 

“How did you know that?” Ender asked. 

 

His mother chuckled, “Did you forget, I had seven kids. Now, what did the doctor say? When is the due date? I need to know when to start your baby shower.” 

 

Ender felt overwhelmed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Mom, I’m barely going to be three months soon. Don’t you think this is going too fast? And my due date is May 5th.” 

 

“Nope, it is not. Have you even thought of names? It is good to start that early. Also, I feel like you are not telling me anything. What happened to being honest with me, Ender?” 

 

Ender bit his lip, looking at the ceiling. He already felt a bit guilty of not telling his mom who the real other father is. “Uh. I. Mom, if I tell you something, can you not mention it to the others yet.” 

 

“Sure. It will be our secret.” 

 

Ender decided to do this quickly because if not, he will go back on his word. “I am having twins.” 

 

His mother squealed at the news, “You are giving me two grandbabies! That is amazing! I thought having seven kids would give me many grandkids, but it seems that everyone doesn’t want kids. So, I am happy to see some grandkids before I die.” 

 

“Can you not say it like that, mom?” 

 

“What? Me dying? I am an old woman, son, it happens.” 

 

Ender groaned, “Can we go back to the babies?” 

 

His mother laughed, “Fine. I am excited. I am going to go out and buy a bunch of baby clothes. I will make sure to get unisex outfits since we won’t know the gender for a while.” 

 

Ender rubbed his face as he could imagine the number of baby clothes his mother would buy. “I’m going to hang up, mom.” 

 

“Okay. Okay. Love you. And do not forget to visit soon.” 

 

“I won’t, and I love you too.” 

 

Ender ended the call, putting his phone down as he walked out of the room. He saw Nevan sitting on the couch, typing on his laptop while on the phone. 

 

Ender walked past him, making his way to the kitchen. Seeing him, Nevan put his phone down, covering it with his hand, “There is some food on the counter for you. You have to heat it.” Nevan told Ender. 

 

Ender nodded. He entered the kitchen, picking up the food on the counter and putting it in the microwave. Pushing the button to heat the food, Ender watched it cook as he got lost in his thoughts. 

 

What am I going to do? He, once again, asked himself.