Growing Lilies

Lily returned to her spot next to Star, trying not to ruminate. She felt like she was going to throw up, but this had to be handled delicately. This other Lily was already in a bad place, and she was about to make it worse. A voice snapped her out of her internal spiral.

“Welcome back, Master.”

“Thanks. Was I… away long enough?”

The other Lily spoke up through the spell.

“I’ve gotten myself together. Can’t say everything is peachy, but let’s deal with this huh?”

Lily paused for a moment.

“Is that really what I sound like?”

“Hey! I could say the same thing! It’s weird hearing your voice from the outside. Especially saying things you’ve never said.”

“...Yeah. Hey, listen. I was thinking. Do you have any of the supplies we packed? Backpack, laptop, notebooks?”

“Oh yeah. Were you like naked after the spell was cast or something? ‘Cause I got it all. Even Bay. He’s unharmed by the way.”

“Wait, what? That’s– But I have Bay. And I have our clothes.”

“Huh. Did they all get duplicated? Well, yeah. I have all our stuff here. Even Bay and the Laptop. Phone is missing though. I think I must have dropped it in the snow or something.”

A pause. That was weird. How could their phone be missing on both ends? Maybe she lost it before going to the basement? But she was pretty sure she had brought it.

“That’s weird as hell. I lost the phone too. I haven’t seen it since the spell. Even Star can’t sniff it out.”

“What? Did the spell eat it or something? Why? How?”

“I don’t know! More importantly, about those notebooks–”

“Yeah! I was thinking about that too. I’m gonna try and fix the spell and come home.”

The bottom dropped out of Lily’s stomach. Come home? That was… That was such a terrible idea! What if it just duplicated her again but here? And on top of that working with this spell is DANGEROUS. Not to mention– She didn’t know if two of them in the same space was a good idea. Noticing the silence, the Lily on the other side started again.

“Hello? Is this thing still connected? Look I know you probably don’t want me there. But it’s my home too you know! Besides, it’s a big world. I’ll even take off when I get there. Maybe see about tracking down all that data from defunct servers we still want.”

“No.”

“... What do you mean, no?”

“I mean, no! Listen, there’s a bigger threat than any of this you clearly haven’t thought about yet. You need to get out that notebook and burn it. As soon as you can.”

“Like hell I will! That notebook is my lifeline! All the spells I worked so long to learn! I’m not trashing it!”

“You have to!”

“I don’t have to do anything. You’re not my boss, you’re just me but more secure! Easy for you to say Miss never-left-home. It’s rough out here.”

Lily bit her lip. This wasn’t going well. She took a deep breath, and tried to restart.

“Look, I’m sorry. Let me explain. Please?”

“Fine.”

“That spell– The basement spell. It’s more than it seems. If it really made you, it’s a gateway to a lot of things that shouldn’t exist. Think about it. Either one of us can make copies now, and send them who knows where. Once we figure out how to target the spell, we can send them anywhere we want. Copies of us.”

“So?”

“So?! What do you mean, so? That’s so bad!”

“In what way?”

“Think about it for two seconds instead of just being contrary! God damn, am I always this annoying?”

Star and Sunica both started speaking at the same time, but cut each other off. Sunica started laughing, Star looked apologetic. The other Lily let out a deep sigh, and continued.

“It’s not like I haven’t thought it through at all. It’s a huge amount of power to have. But, I feel relieved to have it. Hopefully we can use it to get me home with some modification. But, even without that, yeah. There might be even more worlds out there. We can explore the universe! Isn’t that something we’ve always dreamed of?”

“Sure, and who cares about the ramifications right? The fact that me being there will alter the way that world continues forward from that point? The fact that we have magic and they might not? The fact that death is more of a set back than a showstopper?”

“I was thinking about that too, think we could set up the spell to work like a save point? What if we seperated the copy half and the paste half you know? I wonder what the precedent is for storing magical data. We could do it in circuits, but it’d be huge and instantly erased if the spell lost power, but I’d feel a lot more secure knowing that if I die I’ll just be backed up to the last time I stepped in a circle like that you know?”

“You’re not as subtle as you think you are.”

“Who’s being subtle? I just really want that.”

“I do too! But it’s not worth the rammifications. It’s not about us! It’s about the universe at large! Say there really are more worlds out there, it’s not okay for us to mess with them.”

“Ugh, I hear it now. Sunica has told me a hundred times that I’m not okay and I sound like a lunatic, and I can totally hear it from the outside.”

“What, you think it’s no big deal?”

“I think you’re letting your fears coerce you into doing something stupid because it ‘must be done’. Not that I’m one to talk. I almost killed myself casting this stupid spell.”

“Wait, really? This spell wasn’t hard at all on this side. What happened?”

“I don’t want to get sidetracked, but there’s like WAY less mana over here. I had to power it with my own, and I made some mistakes.”

“Huh.”

They sat in awkward silence for a few moments. The mana was much less over there? And the other Lily had said something about getting there days ago. That was weird too. The spell was the day before yesterday on her end, so there must be some kind of time incongruence too. But it wasn’t messing with the message spell, so that was very strange. Finally, Lily returned to the difficult topic.

“I really do think it needs doing though. We can’t mess with other worlds. Our very being there with magic could change history on a world like our earth, and we don’t know if it would be in a good way.”

“You’re right about that. But, so what? Listen, we’re traumatized. I know it. I suffer from it too. But that’s fear talking. The same fear that tells us we are worthless, and disgusting, and shouldn’t be out in public. That we shouldn’t be allowed to be in those spaces. I– I had an experience in the city. It went bad, and it was my fault.”

Sunica protested in the background, and that Lily continued.

“It was mostly my fault. But I’ve been thinking about it since then. Rational thought can’t just erase fears… but I think a lot of our actions stem from those feelings. And now I hear you saying that– and yeah. Why can’t we go to other worlds? Who says we shouldn’t be allowed to have that power? We have it. We get to decide what to do with it.”

“But! Listen! We could end up spreading exponentially even if we don’t intend to. All we need is one of us dead set on creating more, and it turns out we can disagree on things. Which is juuuuuust perfect.”

“Do you honestly think that a version of us is capable of doing something intentionally horrible with this power?”

“YES.”

“Like what?”

“Like– I don’t know. Do you really think we’re so selfless a person that we should have this much power?”

“No.”

“Exactly!”

“I don’t think we’re a selfless person at all. But I think whether we like it or not we have this power. All we can do with it is our best.”

Lily was grinding her teeth. This was another version of her, separated by days? Days, and they could disagree on such a fundamental issue?

“Our best is renouncing magic and never using this spell.”

“That’s stupid. Other people have it too. At very least Entity B. The only thing us not using it at all changes is whether we have that power. You’re comfy at home, you have the privilege of thinking over the moral issues. I’m out here, and I don’t know what I’m going to do or how I’m going to live in this world long term. I want to come home. Then we can decide what to do from there together.”

“The answer is obvious–”

“TOGETHER. How about this? Help me figure out the spell enough to get home, and I’ll agree neither of us uses the spell unless we both think it’s a good idea.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Now who’s being contrary!?”

“I think you will eventually convince me. I don’t want the temptation. I don’t want this power! I’m– I’m not good! We are not good! We ruin everything we touch, and the last thing I want to do is ruin the entire universe!”

Lily took a deep breath, but before she could continue Star nipped her arm.

“Ouch! What the hell?”

“You are being cruel to yourself again, Master.”

Lily couldn’t help it. Tears filled her eyes. She was having trouble seeing.

“Oh, so I guess you’re on her side then?”

“I am on no one’s side. But I love you, and you are not bad like you think.”

“I just– I don’t want it. It shouldn’t exist, for anyone. No one should be allowed to have that much power. But it especially shouldn’t be me.”

“Then, do not use it. It is up to you. It is yours.”

“But she–!”

“She is she. You are you.”

There was silence again. Lily hugged Star, and just cried for a few minutes. Eventually, Sunica spoke over the spell again.

“So uh, how am I supposed to address each of ya? I mean, you’re both Lily. That’s confusing as hell, and that’s just with two of you.”

The Lily on her end responded.

“Well, one of us will be Lily One, the other can be Lily Two. “

Lily spoke up.

“Dibs on One!”

“What? How’s that fair?”

“I called dibs. Plus, I’m at home. Of course I’m the original.”

“Oh let’s not even start talk like that. I’ve had a rough time, let me have this!”

“I’m not going to go by Lily Two for the rest of my life just ‘cause you’ve had a bad few days.”

“Well, you could just choose a different name in general.”

“No! You choose a different name!”

“But I’ve already introduced myself to people here! Well, mostly just Sunica, but still.”

“Fine! You be Lily One, I’ll be Lily Zero.”

“Huh. You know, I wanna argue, but that makes too much sense. Okay, hub world Lily is Lily Zero. I’m Lily One. Poor Lily Two when she shows up…”

“There’s not gonna be a Lily Two. Don’t joke about that.”

“Fiiiine. Geez, just trying to lighten the mood.”

One let out a big sigh, and then tried changing the subject.

“Hey, so, there is one good thing about there being two of us.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. We can both work on spells. Double the productivity you know?”

“Hmm. I guess.”

“Not to mention! You gotta help me theorycraft. Okay, so this world is weird. It’s got classes and levels like an RPG! I’m dead set on getting a good one. Actually it’s half of what I worked on tonight.”

Lily paused. Classes and levels like a game? There was no way she meant that, right? Like. Like, D&D or something?

“Uh, wait. Wait. Hold up. First off, WHY DID YOU NOT LEAD WITH THAT!? Secondly, that is the coolest! I’m jealous! Did you get a class yet? Is that what Sunica meant by [Trapper] level 9? I thought it was like a licensing thing!”

“Yeah! Yeah! Really! I got [Fragment] and a skill [Heretical Mana]. I’m not totally sure what it means, but my internal mana is a LOT stronger now. Is yours? Is that my skill, or just having lived through the spell?”

“I– I think it must be your skill. I haven’t noticed a difference. Ah, that’s practically cheating! But what does the ‘Heretical’ bit mean? That sounds… ominous.”

“I don’t know exactly. But apparently strange magic users around here are on the government’s shit list. So I gotta be careful.”

Sunica’s voice interrupted.

“Uh, not quite.”

One turned to address her for now.

“What do you mean not quite? You gave me that whole speech when we met.”

“Well, it’s just, you’d be picked up by the guards if you were a [Sorcerer], but it’s really the church that wants you.”

“...church?”

“Yeah, they don’t have a strong presence around here, but they pay big money for [Sorcerers]. Most local governments will turn over anyone they find practicing strange magic in the hopes of a payout, and to maintain good relations.”

“Huh. Wait. What church? You have religion here? Gods and Goddesses? Are there more than one?”

An exasperated sigh came through.

“Talk to me when you’re not using a spell to talk about important things with your… um. Yourself.”

“Right! Yeah, so I am trying to get an [Enchanter] class. I enchanted Bay! It’s how we’re talking right now, and I have some more plans.”

“Huh. Why [Enchanter], why not something cooler?”

“Apparently all the coolest classes are upgrades of simple classes. I think [Enchanter] ought to be simple enough that it is obtainable, and having a source of money to start with would go a long way. For now, I’m thinking I’m gonna enchant some magical girl themed stuff. Any ideas?”

“Oh, well, Bay is already your mascot character, yeah?”

“Hah, of course you get it. Yeah! That’s the idea! He speaks too! Well, with your voice. But you know.”

“Hmm. I wonder if we can make that better so that Star can pilot him? Then you’d have Star as a mascot character.”

Star perked up.

“What are you talking about Master?”

“Oh, uh, well I think it’d be cool if you could control her version of Bay. Walk him around, talk to her through him, you know? That sound fun?”

Star’s tail wagged, and he gave her a huge dog smile.

“Yes Master, I would like that a lot.”

“Settled! Let’s work on that, yeah?”

“Welllll. I love the idea, but do you think you could work on it with your Bay on your end first? I don’t have access to Star, so it’s hard to work on it from this side. Besides, I have something I want to make asap now that I think of it.”

“Oh yeah? Safety spells? ‘Cause I got a good one I made.”

“Well, definitely talk to me about that sometime. But for now I want to throw together a mana reader! Something that can tell me what ambient mana levels in an area are like. I want to compare between there and here.”

Lily nodded to herself. It was a good idea. It’d let her create a standard for it too, and if they were going to explore… They weren’t going to explore! But it still might be good for spooky spots even on her side.

“Yeah, okay. I think that’s a great idea! You work on that, I’ll work on Bay. The other thing that comes to mind is the time difference.”

“Time difference? What time difference?”

“You said it’s been days there. I did the spell on my end the day before yesterday. It doesn’t line up. It’s not extremely far off, but it being off at all is weird don’t you think? We’ll need to set something up to measure.”

“Oh shit. Huh. That’s so WEIRD. Okay, yeah, we’ll need to create a spell to monitor the time differential too.”

Sunica broke in again.

“Oh my god both of you are so lame! Just talk to each other!”

Both Lily’s stopped for a second. Eventually One replied.

“Huh? We are?”

“About your time difference. Just call her back in the morning, and do it once a day until you figure it out. Do you have to do EVERYTHING with spells?”

Another pause. This time both Lily’s spoke at once.

“Magic is cool.”

“Magic is cool.”

They both had a good laugh at that. Zero eventually continued speaking.

“Well, she’s not wrong. I guess just talking to another person, even another me just doesn’t really come to mind.

“Yeah, that’s for sure. She’s been talking sense into me since we met. That said, I did stay up late into the night working on this spell. I am starting to get pretty woozy.”

“Huh. Alright, sleep. But…”

“What?”

“I know I shouldn’t bring it up again. But you’re really going to make more copies? You aren’t scared of the same things I am at all?”

Lily One laughed, with a hint of bitterness in her voice.

“Of course I’m scared of the same things you are. I don’t know if I’ll make copies. I just don’t want to decide not to. Tell you what, we can both agree not to until we’ve at least sat down and talked about this a few more times and tried to think through all the possible issues. Deal?”

“Deal. That’ll put my mind at ease. Just don’t let anyone else see those notebooks.”

“Like I would! Besides, it seems like other people might see gibberish when they look at them. I’m not sure what’s up with that yet.”

“What? That makes no sense. They’re just shapes. They’re mundane on their own.”

“Yeah I know right! Ow– Hey! What the heck!”

Sunica spoke through the spell again.

“She’s going to bed now. Or else you two will be up talking about this junk until half way through tomorrow. You can just re-cast this spell whenever you want now yeah?”

Lily laughed to herself, and felt mildly jealous. It must be nice, having a friend like that. Although, she adored Star too. It was just a different sort of relationship.

“Oh, uh. Yeah! When it closes off I’ll re-cast it in the boat. You should be able to connect any time from your side and talk to me. Uh, if I’m in the boat. If not, just… um. We’ll figure it out in time. For now, just try back every hour if I don’t answer.”

“Sounds good. It was nice meeting you Miss, and uh, Mister!”

Star perked up.

“Yes! Yes! It was fun! I like having more friends!”

The connection closed.

Lily sat back. It was starting to get late. Although, not quite dark yet.

“Master, are you okay?”

“No. But I will be. I think. I– My head hurts. I just want to lie down. I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier. Come lay in bed with me, okay?”

“Can we watch more of the baking show?”

Lily smiled.

“Yeah, that sounds great.”