Growing Lilies

“Oh you know. Just a little breaking into a rich guy’s house.”

Gull stared at the boy in front of him. Or the– Whatever this person was. Hex was smiling back at him. A human. Young. Straight brown hair down to his ears, and dirt on his face. Thin, malnourished even. Really, he reminded Gull of a goblin. He clearly lived down here, or somewhere like it.

“You want me to help you raid? Where? Above?”

Hex nodded, and gave a shrug before pacing around the circular room. Gull carefully kept his eyes on the boy. The feeling of unease in his chest just wasn’t going away. Hex was giving off all the signs of being friendly, but there was something dangerous about him.

“Mhmm. If you want to call it that. A raid. Really, I’m just taking back something that was stolen from me in the first place if it makes you feel any better. I was going to do it alone, but I won’t turn down company. You’re usually pretty handy to have around. Besides, you’re screwed in this world without my help.”

“I am not. I was fine. Those strange humans were friendly.”

Hex rolled his eyes at that, and poked at the fire in the center of the room with a metal rod that was leaning up against the side of the fire pit.

“Were they? Didn’t seem that way to me. But, even if you think so, you don’t have all the things you’ll need to live here. They don’t have goblins either, which is a point in your favor in the sense that no one is going to be hunting you. But, it’ll work against you in the end ‘cause you stand out.”

“What do I not have? I can cover my face.”

The boy giggled and shook his head.

“Every person here has a– you don’t know what a computer chip is do you?”

Gull shook his head, and the boy went on explaining.

“Everyone here has a small device under their skin. It’s not magic, but you might as well think of it like that. It’s right here. I have one too.”

Hex raised his hands and pointed to his left wrist with his right hand.

“Right about there. On most people anyways. They use it for everything. You don’t have one. And since they’re usually assigned at birth, well, let’s just say it’s pretty suspicious looking to anyone who finds out.”

Gull frowned. A chip? Like a chip of stone? Under the skin? That sounded uncomfortable. But then, it was magic. Maybe it was fine.

“I’m a goblin. I can hide. Back home there are legends. They said I can disappear. Like a Gull on the wind. Not even bloodhounds find.”

“Spare me the goblin tales.”

“Do not be rude. You won’t have your own legends.”

“Don’t need them. I’m already living mine. Anyway, are you in or out?”

Gull frowned, and gritted his teeth. He was still not feeling trusting. But, if Hex really would help him get the things he would need to survive, it might be worth sticking around at least that long.

“So, I can get a chip? From the raid?”

“I mean, he doesn’t have them directly, but he sure does have the tools to get them, and I’ll happily use them on you. You know, you’re really hurting my feelings right now.”

“I am?”

“Yes!”

Hex approached carefully and took Gull’s hands in his, then smiled up at him and continued.

“I know you don’t know me yet. But we really are friends. Sometimes we get in each other’s way, but we’ve got a bond. You’re another game piece on the board. Sometimes my ally, sometimes my enemy, but always my friend. So, of course being treated coldly hurts.”

The contact was almost too much for Gull. A human, holding his hands? This was… strange. But, the way his voice trembled a little at the end. He seemed entirely genuine. 

“I can not force trust. We just met. But, I will raid.“

Hex’s smile grew. He shook both of Gull’s hands, then let go and did a twirl.

“Aww, are you blushing? Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone!”

Gull was regretting this already.

---

He had been following the boy through the sewers for almost an hour when he finally stopped. Hex turned back to give him a look.

“Tired already? I thought goblins were strong.”

“Not tired.”

“Then what’s the issue?”

“How far is this raid?”

“What? We’re not going to do the raid right now, obviously.”

Gull’s impatience surged in his chest. He was beyond exhausted. If this kid had just led him around the sewer system for nearly an hour for no reason–

“Where are you taking me?”

“Hey, calm down. I’m helping remember? We can’t raid right now. You’re tired, and you smell like alcohol. You’ve been drinking, right? Tired and drunk is no state to be in when we do this. So, I’m taking you somewhere to rest.”

That stopped him. Oh. Hex did have a good point. Gull had been ready to just brush off his tiredness however long it took. But, if rest was an option… He changed his tone.

“Yes. I am tired. Okay. Then, how far until rest?”

Hex smiled.

“Just another block or two. Not far at all. I got us a hotel room. Seedy as hell, but it’ll still be luxury for you I’ll guess. Based on what you’ve told me of how your people lived.”

“What is a hotel?”

The boy laughed and gestured for Gull to follow. Gull reluctantly plodded on after him. He didn’t like not knowing what was going on. If this had been Barnacle, or Bonesnap, or Crabclaw he’d have trusted them implicitly. But, he felt like he was being led by the nose.

They came to a ladder leading up to the street above, and Hex told Gull to stay below. He waited impatiently for a few minutes, before the boy’s head popped out at the top of the ladder again and called him up.

Once Gull was above, he took a look around. It was raining lightly, misting really. The sun wasn’t out yet, but the early morning light had begun so it’d be up soon. He was on the side of that black stone path from before. A different one maybe? There were a dizzying amount of lights all around. Lights keeping the path lit, in the windows of the strange stone buildings, colored lights that were rapidly changing, and more. Hex urged him forwards, and he followed. In seconds, they were through a door and into a simple room with two extremely soft looking beds.

Gull sidled into the room, closing the door behind him and eying the place to make sure it was just the two of them. He was still on edge, and trying to unclench. Hex hopped up on one of the beds, and kicked his feet. When he wasn’t talking, he really did seem like an ordinary child.

“Come on. I bet it’ll be the softest thing you’ve ever laid on. Unless you want to take a bath first? They’ve got warm water. Not that that’s worth bragging about in this world.”

Gull stepped forward and had a seat on the edge of the bed closest to him. He hated to admit it, but it was the softest thing he’d ever felt. Even softer than the throne-bed!

“So, we rest here? How long? When is the raid?”

“You really are single minded. Does it matter? Are you in a rush? I’m not. I’ve got pocket money. We have this hotel room for a week. Don’t you want to eat some good food, and watch some TV?”

“After the raid.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Fiiiiine. I’ll treat you after the raid then. We can go as early as tonight if you really want to get it over with. I’m going to nap myself, then maybe I’ll head out and get some candy. Candy tastes amazing in a kid’s body. I could literally eat the stuff all day. But then, I want this one around for a while so I better not splurge too much.”

Gull gave Hex a searching look for a moment, and then asked a question that had been on his mind for a while.

“Did you kill that child? For his body?”

“In a manner of speaking.”

The straightforward answer surprised him, and after a few seconds of silence he gestured for Hex to go on.

“Well, this child was living an ordinary life until I popped into this body, yes. They don’t die in the sense that their body dies, obviously. Since I’m still here, very much alive. They don’t really die in the sense that their memories and consciousness does either. I can still remember everything this boy has ever experienced. So his memories are still alive and well. What does that leave? Consciousness? That’s a pretty hard thing to quantify, isn’t it?”

Gull didn’t actually know all of these words, but for some reason the meaning of them was coming to him clearly despite that. But, he didn’t have time to focus on that part right now. This was important.

“So you killed him?”

“If you want to look at it that way, you can.”

“How do you look at it? Stop hiding behind smiles. Tell me the truth.”

That’s what this was. In fact, that’s what had been bothering him about Hex for a while now. Hex was always smiling, but it was the smile of a predator. Of a deceiver. It was a bluff. A mask to get away from… he wasn’t sure what yet. But he wanted honesty. Hex’s smile faltered.

“I do remember. I remember this boy’s whole life. I remember the orphanage he was at until he finally escaped. The ones running it beat and starved the kids. I remember finding a small group of friends in the sewers, and living like rats. I remember begging and pickpocketing on the streets. And I remember starving. Starving until I felt completely hollow. Until even the pain of it faded away into a dull ache. This child would have died that way. Starving in the sewers. It wasn’t going to be long. Another week, maybe two.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe things would have changed.”

“It did change. I changed it. I saw his life, flickering and guttering out and I reached for it. I took it. Now, this boy will live to do great things in this world. Because I stepped in. Because I decided what his role should be, and it’s not what it was. To answer your question: I don’t really know and I don’t really care. If he is still in here somewhere, he’s going to live a wonderful life. If he’s not, I still think it’s a better lot in life than he would have had. I don’t pity him. I lived a life like this once, and I wouldn’t have wanted pity. I wanted something greater, and I got it. And on some level, I think he got it too.”

“Like this everywhere? Always someone like this?”

“Hah, hardly! I’ve stepped into more bodies than I can count. I don’t have a moral dilemma about it. All things being equal, I’ll take someone who’s going to die soon over someone who’s not, but that’s not usually the deciding factor.”

“Then what is? Whether they are a good or a bad person?”

Hex laughed, and it sounded genuine for once.

“You always have been a stick in the mud you know that? Of course not. It’s about how fun the role will be! If I can step into the life of someone who is gonna die soon, isn’t that more fun? It’s easy to steal the body of some normal person living an ordinary and boring life but why would I? I want the odds stacked against me! I want the excitement of clawing my way to victory! I want the drama of everything they have crashing down around them!”

He hopped up and bounced up and down on the bed a few times.

“I want the world itself conspiring against me, and I want to come out on top! Just like this boy! This is going to be a story for the ages, and in this world it will be! A boy living off of scraps in the sewers that rises practically overnight into being one of the most important people in the world. A twelve year old genius, who changes everything. From zero to the world! Isn’t that exciting?”

Gull was staring at the boy with a sour expression. He could understand what Hex was getting at, but he didn’t like it. It wasn’t… goblin.

“I would want to fight. For every second. You stole that from him. I do not like it.”

Hex gave Gull an exaggerated sigh, and then tumbled down onto the bed again. He lifted a hand above him and stared past it at the ceiling.

“I knew you’d say that. So, let me try to explain it another way.”

“What will that change?”

“Nothing, really. But it’s how we have co-existed so long from my perspective. I won’t lie. I don’t look at it this way myself, and that was your question. But, I am a traveler. Like you. My form of traveling works this way, like your jumps through time and space. I have my own reasons for what I do, that I care about just as strongly as yours. If someone told you that your jumps were not right, morally, what would you say?”

Gull raised his voice. He was actually a little angry at that. He never wished for this! He never ever wanted anything other than to enjoy his life and be comfortable!

“I did not want this! I do not want this power! I do not control it! It is not my fault!”

“Okay, but say you eventually got control of it. Would you stop, and live an ordinary life? Knowing where you end up?”

“I–”

He stared at the boy, irritation and unease burning in his chest. The boy smiled back, completely carefree.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. But you don’t have to explain it to me. I understand. That’s what it’s like for me too. So, even if it questionably kills one person per world I visit, that’s the cost of my existence. You’ll cause plenty of deaths in your own time, don’t you worry.”

“That’s a lie.”

Hex shrugged.

“If you want to believe that. If it helps, I don’t blame you for them. I’ve always known you as someone with a strong sense of what’s right and wrong, who always does his best. But when you live a long and interesting enough life, some things are just unavoidable.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Look, what do you want me to say? We have different outlooks on things. I just want to be your friend, and enjoy being in this world together. That’s the truth. There’s really nothing more to it than that.”

Gull stared at Hex, and for the life of him, he thought that might have been the first honest thing the boy had said all night.

“Fine. I will go to sleep. Tonight we will raid. Then I will decide. After I get the chip.”

He laid down on the bed. In less than a minute, he was asleep.

---

Author Note:

Geez, this week has been intense. We got evacuated for a fire, and then two days later were on evacuation notice for another. What a time. Hope you all are staying safe this summer.

I'm excited to get back to Lily, but this is some important groundwork to be laid out. So, I'll try to be patient. Do your best with me, okay? <3