I’m really not the Saviour! (我唔係救主囖!)

Ah.

The young man glanced over his shoulder.

The merchant leader's dagger pricked his back again. "Don't try to turn around. Now give us all your valuables."

There was a shade of confused exasperation on the young man's usually blank face.

The knife jabbed him this time, drawing some blood. "Hurry up! Aren't you the Jade Exorcist? Surely you have plenty of good things!"

The young man patted his clothes, turning out his sleeves to reveal the remainder of the food he had been given earlier.

"Where are you hiding your things?" The merchants... no, bandits, crowded around, turning over the young man's hands and patting him only to confirm that the only things he carried were food and his sword. He folded his arms over his chest as they did, and the leader instantly fixated on his movements.

"He probably has something hiding on his chest, like a necklace, or there's a hidden pocket. Pull his arms aside!"

At these words, the young man's half-closed lids opened slightly more. His eyes flashed silver.

With a speed that couldn't be followed by the eye, his hand began to move towards the sword being held by one of the bandits, but before he could retrieve it, a loud voice, infused with internal energy, hei¹氣 (hei3) - better know by its Mandarin pronunciation, 'qi'. Vital energy., broke across them like a landslide. "BANDIT SCUM! I'LL TEACH YOU A LESSON!"

The young man wiggled a finger in his ear. From between the bandits, he could see a figure standing on the road in front of them.

It was a tall and upright youth, sturdy and eager-eyed. He had a handsome, strong face, long dark hair tied in a low ponytail that draped over one shoulder, and in his powerful folded arms, he carried a gim²劍 (gim3) – a double-edge straight sword., a straight double-edged sword, with a jade hilt.

The bandits looked at him, then looked back at the young man they had been robbing.

This young man was average height, if not a little short, with a somewhat slight build and lowered eyelids. His face was a little delicate but otherwise ordinary, his long dark hair was tied in a high ponytail, and his hand was halfway to taking back his jade-hilted dou.

"You... You're not the Jade Exorcist!"

"... Did I say I was?"

"You-!"

The other man on the road dashed forwards. He was quicker than the bandits, swinging his sword without even unsheathing it. In a few moments, the whole bandit troupe was flat on their backs, seeing stars. He looked around to find the young man extracting his dou from the pile of people.

"Sir, are you alright?" His manner was bright and enthusiastic.

The young man blinked, as if blinded. "... Alright."

"Good! Did I hear right, that they mistook you for the Jade Exorcist? I apologise greatly, please let me make it up to you!"

The young man began to leave. This guy was too troublesome!

"Wait! Sir! I'll... A meal! How about a meal?"

The young man halted. He had become horribly aware that his sleeves felt very light.

Of course! He had taken the food out to prove he had nothing valuable, and it had all been squashed in the ensuring chaos. He had been looking forward to eating that pork bun!

"So it's agreed then. I know a great place."

The young man turned and came back. He bowed. "... Thank you."

"Not a problem!" The Jade Exorcist beamed. "Take it as my apology!"

He was as good as his word. Soon, the young man found himself surrounded by every kind of dumpling he could desire. The Jade Exorcist smiled as he watched the young man eat. It was a little bit strange to be stared at so intently but the food was too tasty.

"What's this?" The middle-aged man who served them came to top up the hot water in their teapot. "Have you got a fan, Jade Exorcist? Is this kid cosplaying as you?"

The Jade Exorcist laughed, highly amused. "Maybe?"

The young man finally looked up, his cheeks bulging with food. Who's cosplaying as who? Isn't it just that 'a young handsome man with long dark hair in a ponytail, with a jade-hilted sword' was a super vague description?

"Ah well, I admire his spirit, but he's not handsome enough to beat you."

"I'm flattered, I'm flattered."

The young man went back to silently shovelling food in his face.

"It's unusual to see someone else with a jade-hilted sword, though. Where did you get it from?" The Jade Exorcist hefted his proudly. "Mine is a treasure of my family. This is pure lotus-jade, extracted from an ancient volcanic lake."

"..." The young man managed to swallow. "... I just liked the colour."

"Huh?"

"It's paint."

He went back to eating. The Jade Exorcist and the uncle squinted closely at the sword. A little paint flaked off, showing simple wood underneath.

"... Well, those bandits have been handed over to the local authorities now, uh... What's your name, sir?"

The young man looked at the Jade Exorcist suspiciously. He must have liked what he saw, because he finally rubbed his nose with a mix of shyness and pride. "Sek Gon³硕幹 (sek6 gon3) - 'huge/large/great/big' and, well, technically it's 樹幹 (sue6 gon3) 'tree trunk'. It's a juvenile euphemism.."

"As in..."

"As in 'large' and 'tree'."

There was a faintly pleased look on his otherwise impassive face. His audience stared at him, flabbergasted. Did you choose that name yourself when you were twelve? What's with this weirdly euphemistic name?

"... I- I see. Um... My family name's Gou, given name Dzing. Gou as in 'lofty' and Dzing as in 'righteous'... Where are you headed, Sir Sek?"

Sek Gon responded with a single word. "Anywhere."

"..." Could you say any less?

"I'm headed towards to Yuk-hoi today. Sir Sek, why don't you come with me?"

Sek Gon glanced up at the eager Gou Dzing⁴高正 (gou1 dzing3) - 'tall/lofty' and 'straight/righteous'., but didn't quite meet his eyes. He washed his food down with tea.

"No." And then he added, "Thank you," as if he realised how rude he sounded. Gou Dzing didn't seem concerned.

"Ah, come on, Sir Sek! It'll be fun! Travelling is always better in a group! Have you ever been to Yuk-hoi before? It's a really..."

Sek Gon stood, bowed his thanks, and quickly exited the restaurant.

He had made it about ten bou⁵步 (bou6) - approx. 1.5m. down the road before Gou Dzing caught up to him. The cultivator pounced on him like a large, cheerful puppy.

"Hey hey, Sir Sek, don't run off like that! Let's be friends!"

Sek Gon felt a muscle twitch in his eye. Somehow, this guy was possibly more annoying to have hanging around than -

"AH!"

You can't be serious.

Teem Djeung Baak leapt out of the forest and landed on the path beside him. She pointed a dramatically accusing finger at the two men. "Little Handsome, you tricked me! Pretending to be the Jade Exorcist like that!"

The distraught expression on her face was quickly ruined by a sly grin. She covered her face with a hand and peeked between her fingers with her overly large eyes. "I'll have to punish you!"

Her daggers flew out. Before they could even reach Sek Gon, a sword flashed before him. With a fierce glare, Gou Dzing pointed his gim at Teem Djeung Baak's face. "And who do you think you are?"

"Huh, so you're the Jade Exorcist? I think I like Little Handsome better. Why don't you step aside?"

"Hm... No."

The next moment, the two clashed.

Gou Dzing was strong. He landed a blow that Teem Djeung Baak managed to blocked with two crossed daggers, but the force drove her feet into the earth and left her arms shaking. She giggled weirdly.

“More!” Without taking a breath, she flung one of her daggers, the sharp blade narrowly grazing Gou Dzing's neck.

Wiping the blood with his thumb, he drew a slip of yellow paper from his robes, smearing his blood on it and flinging it at her face. “Get back!”

A force blasted her off her feet, and she bounced and rolled to a stop before springing upright suddenly. Her face was bruised yet she continued to smile with excitement.

“Well, you're resilient, I'll say that much,” Gou Dzing commented, planting his feet firmly and frowning at her.

"I'm not happy at all to hear that from you," Teem Djeung Baak replied, with her creepy smile. "Now if Little Handsome said that th- Where's he gone?"

They both looked around. There was only the two of them as far as they could see.

Sek Gon had quietly sidled away, unnoticed, giving thanks to the Eight Immortals for allowing him the opportunity. He moved through the forest without once touching the ground, quickly leaving the fighting pair behind.

He sincerely hoped they would keep each other busy for a while. He didn't need a bunch of people following him around!

---

The Heavens are never so kind.

Half a day had passed since Sek Gon had managed to shake off Gou Dzing and Teem Djeung Baak. He breathed a sigh of relief, happy in his own company as he wandered along a small road heading south. His steps paused an instant later.

Around a bend ahead, he could hear distant sounds – shouts, metal clashing.

Did people just fight all the time around here? Don't they have jobs or something?

He began to side-step off the path when a person came hurtling along it.

Long dark hair in a ponytail.

The robes of a cultivator.

A jade-hilted sword.

“...”

Seriously?

"Run!" shouted the person pelting towards him. Their voice was high, and they were only a little shorter than he was.

A woman.

She hooked an arm into his and yanked him backwards as she continued her crazy escape. Pulled off his feet, Sek Gon fluttered like a banner behind her, his eyes blank and barely registering the mob of chasing people. There was only one thought in his mind:

Why...?