I’m really not the Saviour! (我唔係救主囖!)

When Gou Dzing opened his eyes, the view that greeted him was a familiar one.

The dark, narrow beams of the ceiling were criss-crossed like the grid of the board that he and Cheng Baak-hap used to play a game on, when they were younger. Gou Dzing had never beaten his Junior Sister at Yik, whether he played with the white stones or the black.

He wondered whether she had ever played Yik with her younger brother.

Within half of the small squares formed by the beams, intricate dragons had been painted, coiled blue and green. The other squares contained small, luminescent pearls.

He was back in the palace of Ming Yuet. Slowly turning his head as slowly as his aching neck would allow, he found that he was alone in the bedroom that he had previously shared with Gaam Yuk Ying.

Gou Dzing closed his eyes again, probing at his meridians with his hei.

Most of the fourteen channels where his hei flowed seemed fine, except for his Triple Burner and Liver channels. He could feel constrictions in the former behind his left ear and either side of his neck, and in the latter around his lower back. Prodding them, both physically and with his internal energy, was unsurprisingly painful.

“Awake, Little Gou?”

The elegant Gong Ming Dzue entered the room, carrying a bowl of water. The hem of her long robes whispered silkily across the ground as she helped him to sit up and drink. Gou Dzing stared into the empty bowl as though divining.

“What are you thinking of, Little Gou?”

“Where... Where's Gaam Yuk Ying?”

“He's gone to find Old Man White.”

“Ah... Is he going to bring Old- uh, Lord Bing here? Or he's sending a message-”

“He simply wanted to see his Master.” She sat on the edge of the bed. “He told me, roughly, what happened.”

“Master warned me.” Gou Dzing laughed like someone had him by the throat. “They both warned me.”

“Little Gou, do you know why cultivation is so hard?” the Loong Queen asked, unexpectedly. “Why is it that we don't see Third Daan-tin cultivators running around everywhere? Why so few people obtain even a Second Daan-tin awakening?”

“Because it takes time and effort, Your Majesty.”

“And that's because?”

“... there's a lot to learn.”

“That's right. And some of these lessons can't be learnt from books, or repetition, or meditation. Those all help, Little Gou. But in the end, you lack experience. You lack time.

“You've never been to war before. Nor has Little Chan or Little Cheng. You've never seen how families turn on each other, never seen a wife stab a husband to preserve her own life.”

“Are you saying Yuk Ying has been to war?”

“You'll have to ask him that yourself.” Her green-brown eyes watched him closely. “Are you afraid of him, Little Gou?”

“I...” He tasted blood again, and hurriedly threw himself over the other side of the bed, retching until his stomach was empty.

He felt a cool palm on his back, his meridians opening as though purifying water were running through them.

“I apologise, Your Majesty...” He shivered, drenched in sudden sweat as his stomach heaved. “I know Yuk Ying saved me. I know... H-Hei Lok tried to... She would have done it if Yuk Ying wasn't there. So why am I like this? Am I just... weak?”

“Would you like to be like Teem Djeung Baak then?”

“What?” His diaphragm hurt. “No!”

“But by all accounts, she's fearless, immune to pain, unbothered by death. Isn't that what you want?” She waved her free hand and water seeped from the ground beside the bed, washing away towards the bathrooms what Gou Dzing had thrown up. Then she twirled her fingers again and the bowl in Gou Dzing's hands refilled with water from the atmosphere.

“Rinse your mouth and spit it out. I'll just wash it away.”

The process was repeated again to allow him to drink more fresh water. He tried to wash away the metallic taste of phantom blood, and not throw it all straight back up again. There was nothing in his stomach except water now. “If there's anyone I want to be more like, it's Yuk Ying.”

“In what way?”

“In the way that he understands how the world works. How he just gets things done.”

“Little Gaam understands how to fight. He knows hardship, betrayal and pain. And you'll learn those things too, in time.” Gong Ming Dzue's expression was one of sorrowful pragmatism. “And you've known affection, friendship, and contentment. Don't you think you have many things to teach him too? He's already begun to learn.”

“Should I give up on my family, then?”

“I can't tell you that, Little Gou.” But Gong Ming Dzue hesitated. She looked up at the dragons painted on the ceiling above. “Has Ah Yan said anything about our mother?”

“Lady Gong? No.”

“Our mother, the Azure Dragon of the East. Lady Maang Dzeung. Divine Guardian of Wood.” These epithets were stated flatly. “It's been... centuries, since I last saw her.”

“Do you know where she is, Your Majesty?”

“The Divine Realm. You must understand... No, you couldn't. You're so young. When something lives for a long, long time, things change. And other things stay the same. You've met Old Ling – Lady Ling Gwong. The older she gets, the more she clings to these strange rules for living she has. Why is she insisting that that woman, Teem Djeung Baak, is her disciple, despite everything?”

The question was clearly rhetorical.

“Old White tends to keep to himself, hiding in his forge in the northern mountains. Taking in that disciple of his seems to have helped, though. He cares a lot for that kid.”

A little gladness lifted Gou Dzing's spirits.

“And grandmother, your master, she's apparently doing the best of them all. But lately she's been... The Demon Realm has shaken her, Little Gou. She's always been so certain. She was there in the beginning, when the world was formed, and now that she's learnt of a place so alien to her, she doesn't know what to do. I've found her, in the dead of night, looking over the city and muttering to herself.”

“Well, that makes sense,” said Gou Dzing. “Since Master has lived such a long time with one understanding, it'll take longer for her to process it. But Master will manage, I'm sure.”

“I wonder. I managed to hear what she was muttering once. She was counting the city towers. Over and over. When she got to the end, she'd start again.”

Gou Dzing shifted position, transferring his gaze to the empty water bowl again.

“The last of the Ng Dzeung, my mother, and Uncle Dzap Ming, left together. They said the Mortal Realm wasn't a nice place, and they never wanted to come back again.”

“Have you seen them since? Have you visited?”

“I refuse.” Gong Ming Dzue's voice was dark, her expression ugly. “They threw aside their responsibilities, left me, left Lau Yan. Why would I want to see a mother like that?”

Gou Dzing had no response to that. He continued to listen quietly.

“To live in this world is to take some responsibility. For yourself, at least. And sometimes there are others that rely on you. If you can't do it alone, seek help. Don't just walk away. That's too easy.” The queen's green-brown eyes fixed on Gou Dzing. “My mother is a coward.”

“Have you tried to talk to her about this, Your Majesty?”

“I know what she'll say. And you... You've even tried talking to your family, and still, this has been their response.” She shook her head. “At least they too have decided that there's a duty that's the reason for their choice. A duty to the State of Sek'suen.”

“I never thought that duty would be more important than their family,” Gou Dzing said ruefully. “Perhaps I should send them a message. Tell them what Hei Lok tried to do-”

“You think they don't know?”

“I didn't want to...” He couldn't finish the sentence. Instead, he said, “Gaam Yuk Ying... is he angry at me for not listening to him?”

Why isn't he here with me?

“As I said, he wanted to see his master. By the way, Grandmother – your master – should be on her way here.”

In spite of the conversation they had just had, Gou Dzing felt a sense of relief that Wong Tang would arrive soon.

Oh... So Yuk Ying went to find Lord Gaam Bing because...

“Have I been taking him for granted?” He hadn't realised he'd said this out loud until Gong Ming Dzue sighed.

“Be good to the ones you love, Little Gou.”

He breathed deeply. “You too, Your Majesty.”

She laughed, briefly. “This and that are two different things, kid. Circulate your hei until you master arrives.”

When she left, Gou Dzing lay flat on his back, trying to remember the times he had spent with Hei Lok. The only thing that came to mind was the dull look of surprise on her decapitated head.

He closed his eyes, and began to chant aloud the principles of the Way of the Mountain School, as his internal energy shuddered and threatened to still.

---

North, and west, of the portal to the Demon Realm that hissed and hummed in the depths of Tsaam Lam, in remote mountains that scraped the wild and nebulous boundaries of the country of Dzeung, on a high, snowy mountain pass, a figure was running.

Gaam Yuk Ying came to a halt at the top of a ridge, his breath steaming in the still air. In spite of the cold, he was still only wearing the robes he had been wearing since he had accompanied Gou Dzing to meet his cousin. As soon as he stopped running, his lips began to turn blue.

In the valley below, spires of stone rose from the grey rock of the mountain sides. There were wide stone roads here, and walls that seemed to have naturally formed amongst the rocks. The only light came from the mouth of snarling stone tiger, flames flickering between its enormous fangs. An enormous glacier backgrounded the scene, and every now and then, faint crackles and squeals and groans could be heard from the slowly flowing ice.

There was no sign of any living thing.

Despite the cold, now that Gaam Yuk Ying had arrived, he moved hesitantly. Landing in the open window of one of the towers, he walked slowly down the stone corridors until he could see a faint glow of firelight. It grew brighter, and warmer, until it was almost unbearably hot, and he stood in the forge of the White Tiger of the West.

Gaam Bing was hammering out metal, the sparks flying wide. Sweat pored down the big man's broad face and arms, striped with old scars. He quenched the flattened metal, threw his hammer and tongs heavily on a bench, and turned to Gaam Yuk Ying.

“Master.” A bow followed the greeting.

“Gaam Yuk Ying,” Gaam Bing's footsteps echoed around the forge. Using a ladle, he drank deeply from a barrel of snowmelt, then tipped some over himself. “What is it?”

When Gaam Yuk Ying didn't reply, Old White stumped over to his disciple and lifted his face with a massive hand under his chin.

Pure silver met silver-grey.

Eventually, Gaam Bing let go, but his hand now went to the hilt of Lo Fu Ngaa. He tapped the pommel. “Which is it?”

“Master?”

“Lo Fu. 'Old Tiger'? 'Old Man'?”

“... all of it.”

“Hmph. Go on then. It's only one word difference from Si fu.”

Gaam Yuk Ying was frozen, not quite sure what he had heard.

“Or would you prefer to call me 'Ba'?” Old White scratched his black and white beard self-consciously. “I thought that would be too... Ah, forget -”

“Lo Fu.”

Ha. Look at that. This kid had run all the way over from who-knows-where without changing his clothes and now stood here with that impassive face and eyes that begged as he called his master his 'old man'.

Gaam Bing had never had biological children.

Is this what I've been missing out on?

“Alright. Let's go somewhere we can talk.”