Madman’s Retirement

Chapter 10: Always Ask If You Can, Never If You Should



The uh, dinoshroom that approached them looked very much like an ankylosaurus. For the most part it looked like an ankylosaurus carved out of the spongy part of a mushroom. Instead of the beady eyes of an actual ankylosaurus there were the large cartoony eyes common to all the shrooms Grant had made. It’s back however, was a very different story.

If the ankylosaurus was the spongey flesh of the mushroom, then the back of the anky was the head of the mushroom. Despite obviously being mushroom heads, they were rather sharp and unlike the appealing red of the base shrooms, the bristled back was a brownish orange, more like the bark of a tree in color, and texture. Its tail ended in a horribly sharp cluster of these mushroom heads. The best he could make of it was that it was some sort of mushroom along the shaggy scalycaps.

The dinoshroom seemed very embarrassed. While Grant knew this, Natalie and Dain assumed this. Not that there was much to assume. The dinosaur didn’t look defensive, but rather embarrassed as it flinched at Grant’s stare and twisted it’s toe into the ground. If it had been a dog then it most certainly would be whining and flashing puppy dog eyes. As it stood, it could only moon with cartoonishly funny eyes.

Lucky for it, Grant was in a very amused mood.

“Come now” he said as he indicated for the dinoshroom, “Let me get a good look at you, you silly beast.” The creature seemed to sense its master’s good mood, as it slowly walked up to the man. Casting appraisal, Grant was surprised to find out this creature had once been a lizard shroom. Admittedly, it was either that or the mush wolves or even the shrooms themselves, but he had expected the smarter shrooms to have been the offender. Delving into the creature’s memories produced interesting finds.

It seems the lizard shrooms, driven by the desire to grow strong, sensed something in the pot that could make them stronger. So, in collaboration they slowly nudged the lid open until a tiny opening revealed itself. Grant could’ve sworn he sealed all the pots, but it’s possible it was knocked loose at some point. It’s also possible he had forgotten to seal the pot. He had that bad habit.

The lizard shrooms, unsure about the substance inside, had managed to get one of the more shy lizard shrooms to consume the substance, and they watched in amazement as the lizard shroom quickly evolved into a dinoshroom. The lizards, seemingly worried how their master would react, chose to hide and see how he would eventually react to their action, seemingly hoping he would allow more of them to undergo similar treatment.

Grant has always had a habit of making dangerous things. If not ridiculous things. He also has a very bad habit of making things worse.

“Students” began Grant, “today you will get to witness the immediate effects of high-level bloodlines firsthand. Ready those notebooks cause today will be one heck of a show. As someone once said on a magical bus: “take chances, make mistakes, and don’t forget to have fun!””

Grant used his powers to construct a trough out of mushroom and wood, whereupon he leaned the huge urn to pour the omnisaurus blood into. “It’s feeding time lizard shrooms!” Hrant called gleefully. “You wanted it so badly, so I’ve decided to offer one great feast!” Dain looked on worriedly as hundreds of lizardshrooms eagerly charged in before patiently waiting in a line. Grant wasn’t sure where they learned that, but he was glad they weren’t complete ingrates. “Are you sure you have enough blood?” Asked Dain. Natalie was already petting and scratching the chins of a few lizardshrooms, who seemed to be very much liking it as they wagged their tails.

Grant chuckled, amused by the answer. “I would sure hope so! The bastard grumbled a full week while I bled him dry. I have enough in there to fill a river or two.” Natalie paused from petting the lizards, giving Grant a judgmental glance before going back to scratching more chins. Dain just looked Really uncomfortable at such a claim. Grant understood. They were likely worried that he didn’t pay the fat lizard enough. It was fine. He paid it back in peaches of immortality. Besides, he gave them potions to compensate for the lost blood.

As he poured the viscous red liquid in, lizardshrooms took a few sips, before scrambling somewhere else to begin changing. Soon there were hundreds of lizardshrooms and even a few shrooms and mushwolves rag dolling themselves as they underwent evolution. Of course, most creatures don’t just evolve upon absorbing a bloodline. However, given how potent the omnisaurus bloodline is, and the mana-qi plenty environment, it made sense that the lizardshrooms immediately underwent evolution.

This was something Dain had never seen before.

 

Monsters evolving was a well-known fact, but the chance to witness a monster evolving was a rather rare experience. Not only did tamers have a hard time evolving monsters, but most people didn’t bother evolving monsters, believing it to be a waste of time, preferring to train themselves instead.

It was both amazing and horrifying. The screeches of pain as their bodies cracked and grew in ways that shouldn’t be possible. Their outer skin cracked and fractured as they ballooned in size, all the while they continuously grew and changed in shape. Some of them gained longer necks, as their neck stretched and bent, for others protrusions pushed out of the skin, and teeth, changing shapes, chipping or sharpening, all of it seemed a bit cruel.

Natalie found the whole thing beautiful. True, they were screaming in pain, but she could see satisfaction in it. The “dinoshrooms” as her new teacher called them seemed satisfied after the change. Even if it was painful, she could understand. They had to suffer a little pain to become better. She just felt happy for them.

Grant meanwhile was giving a speech to the kids while he had the system produce names for these new evolutions. He also reminded it to keep an eye on the first one, as that one would likely be the one to grow into a sub-progenitor. It changed his plans a little bit, but this was definitely a positive change.

After it was done, Grant got up and splayed his hands, as if introducing an exotic exhibit.

“Welcome, to fungal park” He said, doing his best impression. Dain gave him a funny look, while Natalie just kept playing with the dinoshrooms, who seemed to have taken a liking to her.

Grant sighed before opening a portal back to the real world. “Alright,” he announced. “You’ve seen the inside of a divine realm, so you kind of have an idea of what you’re in for. Tomorrow you’ll begin your cultivation. We have 3 weeks left before we reach the york outpost, which should be enough to set up your divine realm. After that, you should be able to do the rest on your own.”

As they walked out Grant held back Natalie and whispered in her ear. “It’s also three weeks for me to set you up with Dain.” Natalie grin curled up so far he wondered if this really was the childish Natalie he saw earlier.


Tip: You can use left, right, A and D keyboard keys to browse between chapters.