Maniac’s Mayhem: A guide to being a corporate slave

One of the few countries that did reasonably well during the Antithesis invasion over the year is Greece. These islands are natural barriers against the spread of the Xenos. Subsequently, with almost half of the vanguards residing there having aquatic specialisation, it became one of the more secure places and has thus become a retreat for the rich and wealthy.

-- What happened to the European Union and its member states? A show made by the Purple Truth 2051

 

I start to wander through the house for a bit on my way to the back garden. I mean, these two really know how to decorate a place, and I need to get some ideas for my own room. This place feels both fancy and really home at the same time, which is impressive. I walk into another room that has some turquoise wallpaper with leaves and birds printed on it. Inside, there is a little girl intensely looking at a bird.

The girl has blonde, almost white hair and blue eyes. And I recognised her almost instantly, not because we had ever met but because of the case she was involved in. This should be Anika’s daughter. I think her name was Rose.

“If you are waiting for it to fly away, you might be here until your dinner gets cold.” I say to the little girl.

“No, silly, I was looking at…” She goes quiet as soon as she sees me. Fear can be seen clearly.

Okay, what happened? I quickly looked around, but no one was there, so she was afraid of me. I look at my hoodie and realise, I am still wearing my mask, so I slowly take it off. “Don’t worry, I won’t do anything.”

The girl goes quiet for a bit and then says, “You have yellow eyes.”

“How very observent of you.” I say, not sure how to continue.

“Mom said that there was going to be a person here with yellow eyes.” The girl says

I smile. “Well, here I am. She told you anything else.”

“That if she is not around and I need help, I should ask you.” The girl says in an unsure tone

“Yeah, that is correct. If it is in my power, I would help you.”

“Then I need help.”

I look around again, checking if anyone is watching. “Help with what? Is someone threatening you?”

“Uhm, no, of course not. I want to know what kind of bird that is. Do you know?” she asks me with big eyes, while pointing at the bird, she was studying on the wall.

I look at the bird, and yes, it does have wings. ‘Lyssa, any help?’

Lyssa thinks that using Lyssa to impress a ten year old is below you.

‘what if I get a birdwatchers catalogue?’

Deal

Class I Bird Watcher Apparel unlocked!

Points reduced to... 13728

It is a Prothonotary Warbler, they live in coastal mangroves.

“It is a Proton Otary Warbler,” I tell the little girl.

The girl looks at me, confused. “Are you sure?”

“Not exactly sure, but It looks like the one you would see in coastal mangroves.”

“Well, if you are sure.” She says, while looking at the bird again, “I have never seen one like this before. Do you think there is a documentary on it?”

“I don’t know. I have not had the time to look at the birds much. Unlike you?”

The girl looks at me disappointed. “Then I can teach you. I know a lot about animals and am learning more every day.”

“Yeah, that sounds fun. What animal should we start with, teacher?”

“We should start with the animal you like the most. What is your favourite animal?” the girl asks sagely.

‘Lyssa?’

Do you want Lyssa to select an Animal for you?

‘yes, please.’

Lyssa would suggest a spotted hyena. You have a similar laugh.

“I personally like the spotted hyena. We have similar traits.” I say, trying to sound as confident as possible.

“Hmm, I don’t know that one.” the girl says, deep in thought. “Can you show me one?”

“Yeah, sure, Lyssa, work your magic.”

 

Class I Animal Companions unlocked!

Points reduced to... 13587

New Purchase: Enhanced And Domesticated Crocuta Crocuta

Points reduced to... 13387

 

Suddenly, the girl's eyes go wide as she squeals, “It's so cute!”

I look behind me, and there stands a big… cat? It looks a bit off, like its front legs look way longer than its hind legs, and it has these spots over its body as well as a somewhat fuzzy mane.

‘Lyssa, I mean a picture or a plush, not the actual animal.’

You wanted to impress the little girl. This is the best way to do so.

‘is it even safe?’

Yes, it has been genetically altered to be completely safe and to listen to commands. So, as long as you don’t abuse her, she is completely safe. She is also vaccinated.

“It definitely is cute.” I say, appraising the thing. “Want to pet it?”

“Can I?” the girl asks excitedly.

“Yeah, just be gentle, okay?” I say while the big beasty bounds over to me. The thing is probably close to a meter tall.

The girl walks over and slowly starts to pet the animal. Then she smiles even brighter and hugs it around its neck.

“Do you want to help me come up with a name for her?” I ask the girl.

“Daisy” she replies.

“Daisy?”

“Yes”, she says while nodding. “Daisy is a good name. since my name is Rose. So we are matching.”

“Sure, do you like that name?” I ask the hyena.

She just looks at me and starts to make this loud laughing noise, so I take that as a yes. Then I get a text message from Claire asking where I have disappeared off to.

“Okay, Rose, want to go to the back garden with me and Daisy so that she can stretch her legs a bit.”

The girl nods at me, “Yes.”

I am still holding my mask, and this outfit does not really come with pockets, so as some kind of solution, I put it on the side of Daisy's head. To my surprise, it sticks, and a little purple hoodie wraps around her torso. Okay, that is quite cute.

Rose gives me a weird look. “You should not bully Daisy, she says.”

“I was not trying to,” I say while taking the mask off “Sorry girl.” I say while petting the monster's head.

Daisy, for her part, does not really seem to care all that much. And just wags her tail while leaning into Roses' affection. Before I can decide what to do with the mask, Rose picks it up out of my hands and puts it on.

“Come on, Daisy, let's go.” she yells, as the two of them head off.

I follow behind the two. Getting to the backyard, which is completely filled with people, some I know, like the other samurai. Some I don’t, but seeing the similarities, I assume they are family or something. Sam walks up to me together with Anika.

“Evelin, what is going on?” Sam asks, while pointing at the bandits that stole my mask.

“Isn’t she cute? Think I can keep her?” I ask.

“The animal?” Sam asks, confused.

“No, I am definitely keeping Daisy. I was wondering if I could keep Rose.”

“You can most certainly not keep my daughter.” Anika says,

“Why not? I take good care of her.”

“Because she is not some kind of animal.”

“That is fair, I guess. But if you ever need a babysitter, I am more than willing to help.”

“I thought you did not like kids.” Sam says.

“Well, this one is actually cute and reasonable.” I say, while pointing at Rose, who has found a stick and is currently playing fetch with Daisy.

“I thought you would do bad with reasonable; also, what kind of animal is that?” Sam asks.

“That is a hyena. Or like an altered version of one. This one is perfectly trained and vaccinated.”

“What is wrong with just getting a cat?” Sam asks.

“I think it is a cat, just a really big one.” I say, looking at Daisy “Well, I should probably greet our host.” I say while walking towards Jason and getting out of this situation.

I walk up to him, looking at the different pieces of meat on the grill. What kind of animal? I could not tell you, but seeing that we have a bunch of samurai around, my bet is on it being alien meat. I stand next to the big guy in his apron that says kiss the chef on it.

“So I am not the only one who has to suffer through their ai’s fashion choices.” I say

“What do you mean? The apron? No, that was a gift from my husband; I like your shirt though, it matches well with Claire.”

“Yeah, well, here is hoping her parents won’t try to kill me over it.”

“You should be fine. I am just glad you could make it, Maniac. I will admit that I was somewhat sceptical about whether you would even show up.”

“Evelin is fine. And why woudn't I come?” I say, then I lean in to whisper in his ear, “Wait, you are not really planning to take everyone out, right?”

“Okay, Evelin, then.” He says with a smile, “And no, I am not. It's just you seem a bit all over the place, so I did not think you would make time for yourself to relax. I mean, it feeds well on your unhinged nature.”

“How so?” I ask, confused.

“Well, I am pretty sure you did not come in here with an animal that can chew straight to bones, but it is here now,” Jason says with a bit of concern in his voice.

I look at the garden where Daisy and Rose are playing with two little boys as well, now. “Your bones or my bones.”

“What?”

“I mean, aren’t your bones corrugated steel at this point? Does not make for a good chew toy.”

“I don’t think that is the important part here. Is it safe?”

“Well, it is protector made, and listens to orders and all that, probably only lashes out when abused. So not more dangerous than your average dog, I would bet.”

“Well, if that is the case. They do say that pets are good for one’s mental health.” He finaly says, “Want a burger?”

“Uhm, sure, thanks.” I grab a plate to put it on, then go to one of the tables where Claire is talking to a teen boy and girl I have never seen before. I sit down next to Claire and look at the burger. What to do with it? “Hey, I grabbed you some food.” I say while scooting the plate over.

“Um, thanks. Are you not hungry?” she asks, a bit confused.

“I'll eat later. I just have to make sure that Daisy does not bite anyone's face off.”

“Daisy?”

I just point at the big hyena that is currently.. skipping? around. They are really walking weird these beasts.

“Evelin, what do you plan to do with it?” Claire asks.

I scratch my neck. “Not sure, take care of it. Maybe teach it how to sniff out drugs.”

It has already been trained to catch both drugs and explosive devices. Daisy can also serve as a guide dog, recognising signs of epilepsy and stroke.

“Well, with all the specs it has, it might be fun to add her as an honorary member of the PMC.” I say with a giggle.

“That is a good idea.” the boy says excitedly. “I mean, having a samurai PMC is cool and all, but it does not look samurai yet. Having that beast with them would add to the, you know, samurai nature.”

“Yeah, you are right. Sorry, I don’t think we met before. I am Evelin, and you two are?”

“Ah, sorry, I am Archie, and this is Lily. We are Claire's brother and sister,” the boy says, indicating his sister as well. “What about you? What is your relationship with Claire?”

“I am the girlfriend,” I say with a shrug.

The girl instantly whips her head to Claire with a smile. “Oh, and where did you find this one? She is less, ah, let's say loud than the other girls you have had a crush on.”

Looking at Claire turn completely red is kind of funny. But I mean, the girl does have a point. If her standard is usually on Glowstick level, I look a bit more boring. Maybe I should get a fancy tattoo or something. Maybe a tiny sword on my forearm, or would that be too tacky?

“She can be loud when she wants to be.” Claire says, setting the two teens into a giggling fit

I give Claire a little kiss on the cheek, then whisper in her ear, “I don’t think that meant what you wanted to say.”

Before she can try to defend herself, I hear a voice from behind me. “Ah, there you all are. This place is amazing.”

Two people, a man and a woman in their forties, come sit down with us, and the resemblance to Claire and the two teens tells me exactly who these two people are.

“Hey, Mom, hey, Dad”, Claire says. “Where have the two of you been?”

“Oh, we took a little stroll in the garden. It’s amazing! Isn’t it all this inside of a building?” her mother says.

Her dad turns to me. “I don’t believe we have been introduced yet. I am Arthur, Claire’s father, and you are?” he says with an outstretched hand.

I grab his hand and say, “I am Evelin. It is nice to meet you, sir.”

Protectors above, please let me survive this encounter.