Maniac’s Mayhem: A guide to being a corporate slave

One of the most evil practices by a company ever recorded was the original harvest scam. Hospitals in several countries with low literacy rates would help poor families deliver babies. A fee was associated with this, and they had 18 years to pay off this debt. If not, the child would become the property of the hospital, and their organs would be used to recoup the cost.

Practices like these would continue until late 2049 when a samurai by the name of the Lion Spirit took action.

-- the dark side of corporate greed Episode 13. A show made by the Purple Truth 2051

After my little chat with Bubbles, I put the problem behind me for a different day and decided to enjoy my stroll, stomping down all the flowers in our way. Magenta confiscated my new hammer after I hit her with a flying plant corpse for the second time. Saying it is unprofessional, personally, I just thought it was aim training. Does anyone want to go golfing with me? I am pretty sure I can hit the entire avian family now.

Before I knew it, it was six o'clock, and we were packing up the vehicles to head to Jason’s house. Packing up the tent was something else, like in the fun Tetris kind of way where everything had to fit a certain way. But we get most of it into the fire truck except for some pillows and blankets that we dump into Magenta’s van. As I sit in the fire truck, there is something on my mind that I can’t keep ignoring.

“We should probably stop by the hotel first.” I finally say.

“Sure, that is possible, but why?” Bubbles asks.

“Well, Liam's mother still needs new lungs, so kind of want to do that first and… uh.”

“And what?”

“We are not like Glowstick; our sweat does not smell like vanilla.” I say as carefully as possible.

Bubbles tugs at her shirt and sniffs it, then pulls a face. “Fuck, you're right.”

“Yeah, I wonder how she swung that. I wouldn’t mind smelling nice while I sweat. Maybe get one that smells like new pens.”

“I see, and what should I smell like, you think?” she asks in a playful tone.

“Probably soap like the unscented one, fresh and clean”, I say, already imagining the smell.

She looks at me unamused “Evelin, not everything with me is centred around bubbles,”

“Ooh, I did not mean it like that.” I say, trying to comfort her. “it's just one of my favourite smells, calm and relaxing, like you.”

“Then if I should smell like soap, you should smell like peaches,” she says smugly.

“I don’t think I follow.” I say, confused. Also, what is a peach?

“Because that is my favourite smell, so I thought it would be nice if you smelled like that.”

That is honestly fair. ‘Lyssa?’

Not only would you be able to purchase it you already have the catalogues unlocked to do so, so it is a rather cheap upgrade.

‘then put it with the skeleton purchases.’

Noted.

“Well, I try my best then, but not really sure what a peach should smell like.”

“That, fuck it, we just fix that tonight.” She says with confidence.

We make it back over the tree wall and into Strasburg without any issues. Well issues that could not be solved by just flying higher and faster. Fuck traffic. We make it back to the hotel, and I find Liam rather quickly. We head to his mother's room. There, we discuss different options. Well, I mean, at some point, I just put Lyssa on one of the TVs, so I was more of a bystander to the discussion. We agree on a lung replacement, not all too dissimilar to my own, and take her to the surgery room and do some preparation.

After finalising the purchase and set up, I said goodbye to Liam, who wanted to wait by the door until his mother was done. I head back to my room to take a quick shower and put on some clean clothing. Which is basically the same clothing but in different colours. Thanks, Lyssa. Well, purple is a nice colour, too, so what do I care? I clean both of my blades and the new hammer and hang them on some rudimental hooks I push into the wall. Well, there are less hooks and more small daggers I get from my blade catalogue. What, it is my room, I can do with it whatever I want to decorate it.

Afterwards, I still spent 15 minutes in front of Bubbles room fiddling with my mask. She comes out looking like a completely different person. Instead of a mess of copper pipes, valves and gears, she is wearing a dark blue skirt and a purple hoody matching my purple shirt. She has done her hair and some light make-up. She also smells like an entire fruit basket.

“You, kind of, are making me feel underdressed.” I say, with an unsure smile. “You look good.”

“Don’t worry about it. I think most people are going to be impressed that you came in the first place.” she says, while grabbing my arm and dragging me along.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Evelin, you tend to only show up when you need something, so showing up for something social is outside of your normal character.”

“I am not that antisocial. I have hung out with people before.”

“Ooh, really, with who? Sam does not count.”

“I plead the fifth.”

“You’re not American.”

“Fuck, okay, I am not good at the whole social stuff, but that does not mean I am avoiding it. I just don’t get invited that often.”

“So the problem is not getting invited, so if I invited you out to dinner with my parents, would you come?” She asks curiously.

“I mean, I would question why I would be invited, but yeah, why wouldn’t I come?”

“Meeting your girlfriend's parents does not scare you. That is good.”

“I kind of forgot about that fact, but I would still come. I mean, it's better to seem committed than flaky, I guess.” I say while trying to observe her expressions.

“That is good because they will be there tonight, so be good.”

“Be good? I am not a child. When I am bad, that is a well-informed decision.”

“Ooh, so you can turn the craziness down then?”

I pull at my shirt, making the text easier to read “Well, I still need therapy.”

“So what was that, then, about you being in control?” she says while giggling.

“A bald-faced lie mostly, to try to hide the fact that I am nervous about meeting your parents.”

I try to grill her for more details about her family, but she is not talking to me, probably just enjoying me squirming for a bit. Well, I guess I will find out in a few minutes. As we head out I put my mask back on. I can’t make it too easy for everyone to find out who I am yet. I get back into Bubble’s fire truck. Fuck, I should really get a fun car as well.

I mean, Bubbles has a fire truck, Magenta has a news van, and Jason has a school bus. So what should I get? Maybe a garbage truck or one of those triangle vans that transport windows. An ambulance could be fun, too, but I'm not sure that fits my entire aesthetic. Then again, if I upgrade my drug catalogue, it might.

Jason's house is not that far away, only two mega-scrapers away. So getting back won’t be a problem regardless of what happens. After we park the car in the sizeable parking garage that is almost completely filled up, we make it to a steel vault door that leads us to some kind of antechamber. I can spot several gun emplacement and gas sprayers.

“Security is tight, huh.” I say, while we wait for the cameras to do their scans.

“I mean, Jason has a child and probably wants to keep him safe. Or something.” Claire says.

“I see. How much you want to bet it is so secure because he wants to kill us all to claim the title of strongest samurai in the area? And in here, nobody would find our corpses.”

“I wonder where in your brain it goes wrong for you to come up with these kinds of ideas,” Bubbles says with a smile.

“Probably the frontal lobe, if I had to guess.”

“But no, I don’t think he would do that. He is probably already the best samurai in the area.” she says, while making air quotes.

“is he? What about Glowstick?” I say, thinking about it.

“I think that he was already a samurai for five years or so before Magenta got initialised.”

“Huh, well, I guess Glowstick talks a good game. I totally thought she had been a samurai the longest. Being an old hag and all.”

“How old do you think she is?” Bubbles says, while giving my belly a slap.

“Her birth certificate says twenty-six, so I am going with that.”

“Why do you have her birth certificate?”

“Well, she got upset that I did not know how old you were, so I decided to pull everyone's date of birth up.”

“Evelin, most people would go to their socials to see how old someone is. Heck, there are Samurai fan websites. Those probably have our ages.”

“Uhm, because I still had the hack available, so it was kind of easy?”

“Why are you like this?” she says, before lifting up my mask to give me a kiss on the cheek.

“I don’t know, genetics. Those bastards always fuck me, so it would not surprise me if they did it again.”

Suddenly, a hissing of air can be heard as the door slowly starts to open. Behind it is a basic room with a coat rack, several shoes, and umbrellas. I am about to take off my shoes when Bubbles stops me and points me at the next door. Confused, I go there and open it only to reveal how fucking amazing this place is. The floors of about five stories have been removed, creating a massive open space which has been turned into this beautiful garden. Inside this garden stands a complete three-story house. Even the light up on the ceiling seems to mimic the sun.

“Okay, if we ever buy a house, we are going to let Jason build it.” I say to Claire.

“I, one hundred percent, agree.”

We slowly get to the house. Slowly, because I keep getting distracted. I mean, they have flowers here that I have not seen before. I try to pay proper attention and remember the names that are written on the signage to improve my lexicon. But it’s harder than expected. I mean, Amorphophallus Titanium is a fun name, but the plant is rather unimpressive.

At some point, we make it to the front door and ring the doorbell, which is weird. We already went through some type of secure door. What is the point of a second front door? Anyway, a man opens up. He is wearing some casual clothing and has medium light brown hair and eyes.

“Hey guys, it's good to see that you could make it. How is it going?” the man said.

“I am upset.” I say almost on reflex.

“Oh, why? What happened? You have allergies or something?”

“No, I just think it is unfair how the average gay dude has a better fashion sense than all of the women I have ever met.” I say in a bit more of a wienie tone than anticipated.

The man or I guess I should just call him Dave really, looks stunned at me for a second before going back to a smile. ”Thank you. You are really not as bad as people say you are.”

“Wait, what about me?” Claire says, in an upset tone. “I dress well.”

“Honey therapy is written in white letters on the back of your hoody.” I say while leaning into her more.

“So? I don’t see how that matters.” she says, confusion in her eyes

“Read what is on my shirt and think about it.” I say, trying to explain whatever jokes our AI has come up with now.

She looks at it in incomprehension until something clicks, and she turns red. “So how badly do you need therapy?” she eventually says in a low tone.

“Fuck, uhuh, I.. not sure, let's go inside.” I say while heading inside.

I can hear Claire and Dave laughing behind me.

“She is really cute, huh.” I hear Dave saying before I round a corner.

I remember why I don’t like social events.