NOVEL SIMPLE The New Earth (14.1)
Game
Thoughts
“Talking”
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“So, like, after the alliance fell apart and all the ugly aliens showed up, it was, like, super scary! Me and Nam got captured by this stupid purple guy!”
This might be hard.
Gray rubbed his temples as he listened to the air-headed girl speak, “Alliance? Can you start from earlier on?”
“Oh! First, I should explain how the planet used to be!” Ranfan said, remembering that Gray was an alien and that she would have to be more detailed.
“Until a few years ago, most of the Earth was under King Furry!” She started to explain,
I forgot his name was King Furry. That has a different meaning now then it did when Toriyama came up with it.
“He’s this cute doggy guy! He commanded the Earth’s Military, which was officially named the King’s Graucamole or something-”
“King’s Guard,” Gray supplied.
Why do I know more than she does?
“Oh, yeah! That! The five major cities, called East, West, North, South, and Central city, all followed him. Aside from a few small towns here and there, the entire world accepted him as King, except for…”
Ranfan clenched her fist, staring at the floor. The two of them sat a few feet from each other, having sat down in chairs that their former captors had used.
“The Red Ribbon Army?” Gray asked, though he already knew the answer.
“Yeah,” She sighed, the bimbo girl’s face turning serious for a moment, “I don’t know how long they’ve been around. I remember when I was a kid, my parents mentioned them, so it’s been at least a decade. For a while, they were spoken about as a legend, with some people saying that even the King’s Guard couldn’t take them down.”
“But, really,” She continued, looking up and locking eyes with Gray, “They weren’t very strong, for a while at least. They were a private army owned by a rich guy called Commander Red. They were mostly full of outdated military equipment, and wouldn’t be able to hold a candle to the King’s Guard. But, that changed when they hired a scientist named Dr. Gero.”
The man who created the Androids. I don't like where this is heading. Please don’t make me fight Cell already, you shitty game.
“He started creating robots that could rival tanks. Then, they evolved to the point where they could shrug off tank missiles like they were nothing,” The purple-haired woman continued, “They were so powerful that the Red Ribbon Army could do whatever they wanted. They started invading villages and towns, looking for the dragon balls.”
“The dragon balls?” Gray asked, faking confusion so that the woman would elaborate.
This world is so fucked already, I need to confirm information whenever I can. King Vegeta said they could grant any wish, but I’d like to make sure they’re the same dragon balls I know from the show.
“Um, the dragon balls,” Ranfan’s face looked a bit more hesitant as she spoke, “I’ve never seen them, but they’re supposedly a group of balls that can be gathered to summon a huge dragon! The legend says that the dragon can grant any wish. I’ve never seen them used, but I’ve heard Muten Roshi, an old martial arts guy, say that the legend is real!”
Gray nodded, and the girl continued, “I don’t know how the Red Ribbon Army knew they were real, but they invaded a bunch of villages and towns looking for them. The King tried to ignore them but finally did something when they invaded East City. He tried to retake the city but was beaten pretty badly. So, he looked toward martial artists for help.”
Another change already. In the show, Goku started fighting them after they went into a village he was in and destroyed a jungle. After that, they pretty much just fought with Goku repeatedly over the dragon balls, I think? Did he not have them in this world?
“We created a group called the ‘Protectors of Earth’,” Ranfan continued, ignorant of the thoughts speeding through Gray’s head, “We were sponsored by King Furry to defeat the Red Ribbon Army. The group was made entirely of people from the World Martial Arts Tournament and top-ranked martial arts schools.”
Ranfan giggled cutely as she continued speaking, a sparkle lighting in her eye, “It was funny, being on the same team as the people I used to compete against, but it was fun! Our group was more than enough for the Red Ribbon Army, and they were steadily being snuffed out, until…”
Her smile dropped again, “Demon King Pickle.”
Pickle?
“Picke?” Gray repeated his thought out loud incredulously.
“Yeah! He was big, green, and nasty! Krillin said he used to be a normal pickle but became evil when someone left him on their counter for too long!” Ranfan said, her face deadly serious.
“Do you mean Piccolo? I’ve, uh, heard the name before, somewhere?” Gray made a lame excuse as to why he knew Piccolo’s name was, in fact, not pickle.
“Oh! Yeah, that’s him!” Ranfan said, nodding excitedly at his words, “We were on the verge of wiping out the army when he showed up. I wasn’t there, so I only knew what Nam told me about it. He said Pickle showed up looking like an old-green alien, but was way stronger than everyone else, taking out both martial artists and Red Ribbon Army forces alike as he stole the army’s dragon balls. After that, he went and killed King Furry, making himself the new King. Poor doggy… Oh, and I don’t know if this is true or not, but Muten Roshi said he used the dragon balls to make himself young again at some point.”
Okay, different route, but same result. King Piccolo is young again.
“After that, the world became scary for a while,” Ranfan bristled at her own words, “It was awful! Gross dragons and monsters walking around everywhere, destroying stuff! They even ruined my favorite clothing store in Central City!”
“Oh, how terrible…” Gray did his best to fake look supportive as Ranfan puffed her cheeks out cutely, lamenting on her favorite store being destroyed.
Right, she’s been at least trying to be serious until now, but this is still Ranfan. Her whole character in the show was being sexy and flirty to win matches. She’s a total airhead.
“It was!” Ranfan huffed again, “Anyway, it didn’t last that long, but it got even worse after that! More ugly aliens! You guys- well, not you. If they had been a bunch of cute guys I would’ve been fine with it, but it was a bunch of freaky aliens that followed the same guy as you - the Freezer!.”
“Frieza,” Gray corrected, nodding at her, “Yeah, that would’ve been the Frieza Force. It’s made up of a bunch of different races. I’m a Saiyan, we look a lot more Earthling-like.”
“Yup! You’re hot!” She said with a giggle and a wink, then her face turned serious again, “The aliens showed up, and Piccolo got beat by them a few times. Apparently, he gathered the dragon balls again, but they can’t be used again right away. I didn’t even know the aliens existed, but Piccolo became desperate. They were doing whatever they wanted, with no one able to stop them, as they waited for the dragon balls to recharge after they took them. A weird alliance formed, between Piccolo, the remains of the Red Ribbon Army, and the martial artists that were still willing to fight.”
She smiled as she raised her fist, “It was kinda cool! The humans all coming together to fight off the invading aliens!”
“How’d it go?” Gray asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Not well,” Ranfan deflated, “I couldn’t do anything, since those aliens didn’t care about my womanly charm at all! The others did better, though! They even beat the first group that came! Then, another group came. They took a lot longer, but eventually, they were taken down too. After that, a bigger and stronger group came, and that’s where everything went wrong.”
“That group was too strong,” Ranfan continued, “But before they could use the balls, another group of aliens showed up. Then another. But, none of these groups were together. They started fighting over the balls, and we were helpless to do anything about it.”
Gray nodded, “That would’ve been Cooler and King Cold’s forces. They’re Frieza’s family members, but they have a family dispute going on right now.”
“Yeah! Nam told me about that!” She said, her eyes wide, “It’s crazy! I thought we were the only planet, and now we’re just a little battleground for a space-war family argument thingy? Crazy! Even crazier, they blew up the West City Mall! I lov-”
“Yeah, crazy,” Gray deadpanned as he interrupted her, “So, what happened after they showed up.”
“Oh, right! So, the new aliens showed up. They started just fighting everywhere, and we just had to sit back and watch!” Ranfan said, “Then, the Red Ribbon Army made these Androids! I don’t know how new phones helped them, but suddenly they could fight back!”
Fuck. Surely she just means Android 8 and shit, right? Android 17 and 18 can’t be here already.
“I think the Androids were probably robots, right? Not phones?” Gray deadpanned at her.
“Oh! That would make sense!” She nodded, looking like she was deep in thought for a few seconds, “So, then it was the three alien groups and the Red Ribbon Army fighting for the balls, but then Piccolo met these other two guys - Emperor Pillow and some rabbit guy - and they teamed up to fight back!”
Does she mean… Emperor Pilaf? The little dude from OG Dragon Ball? And the rabbit gangster guy?
“Oh! And while that was going on,” Ranfan said, her cheeks puffing out again as she looked annoyed, “There was a different wrinkly green guy named Kami who started training martial artists! They made them, like, way stronger! But! He wouldn’t train me, because I was too hot and would distract everyone! Ridiculous, right?!”
“Yeah…” Gray nodded, keeping his face blank.
No, not ridiculous. Your fighting style is centered around flashing your tits and ass to distract your opponent. More importantly, it seems like everyone here is just going to be strong as fuck. Piccolo’s alliance will probably be tough, the Red Ribbon Army has androids, and the martial artists are all training with Kami and most likely using the Hyperbolic Time Chamber.
“I know, right!” She nodded along with Gray, “Well, since I got left out, I went back to West City. I was at the mall one day - oh, the new one! Capsule Corporation built this new supermall where the old one was, and it had a bunch of new stores! There was-”
Relax, Gray. She’s hot. Remember she’s hot. Don’t get mad.
Ranfan went on a nearly 10-minute escapade about the various new stores in the mall until she finally got to her point, “So, while I was shopping, it got attacked by a bunch of aliens! No one but me and Nam were there - as I was showing him this new store called-”
“You guys got captured?” Gray cut her off quickly, not letting her go on another rant about a clothing store. He couldn’t take listening to another clothing-fueled rant.
“Yeah! We tried to stop them, but my techniques didn’t work! They kept going on about ‘beastiality’ but I’m not a beast, so I don’t - oh, there's Nam!” Ranfan said, pointing toward the nearby ladder as Saeko climbed down, a large middle-east looking man slung over her shoulder.
“What happened after you got captured?” Gray asked, bringing her back to the topic.
“Oh, yeah! We got captured, but so did a bunch of other guys! They made us slaves, and locked us up down here!” Ranfan said, her face looking far too bright as she talked about being enslaved, “Well, they only brought us here a few weeks ago. I was just making food in the kitchen for a while.”
Alright, I got a rough timeline at least. The Red Ribbon Army has androids, King Piccolo is teamed up with Emporer Pilaf and the rabbit gangster, the Earth martial artists are being trained by Kami, and Cooler seems to be trying to kick Frieza off the planet entirely while King Cold is doing who knows what.
“Can you tell me about some of the other martial artists? Like, the strong ones? There’s a guy named Goku, right?” Gray asked.
I need more information about how the Z-Fighters are doing.
“Goku?” Ranfan tilted her head at him, “Never heard of him.”
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gray Tanaki:
[Saiyan D-Class Recruit]
Age: 15
Wallet: 46,150 Coins
Lvl: 10 (33,000/75,000 XP)
PL: 31,972,700
Available Points: 300
HP: 91,000/91,450
TKI: 179,825/179,825
STR: 315
AGI: 350
END: 290
INT: 455
CHA: 145
LUK: 455
KI: 395
HREG: 206
EREG: 206
Skills: [Observe LVL 5], [Running LVL 6], [Determination LVL 4], [Ki Control LVL 9], [Ki Gun LVL 5]. [Ki Enhancement LVL 4], [KI Suppression LVL 5], [Ki Sense LVL 2], [Pushup LVL 4], [Punch LVL 4], [Kick LVL 4], [Jump LVL 4], [Flight LVL 4], [Prediction LVL 2], [Zenkai Boost LVL 1], [Cognitive Acceleration LVL 1], [Ah! Lord Frieza! LVL 1]
Perks: [Gamer’s Mind], [Gamer’s Body], [Double-edged Sword], [Legendary Super Sayian], [Perfect Ozaru], [A Cute Pawn], [A Humble Master], [Ladies Man]
Fighting Styles: [Boxing Style: Kolra LVL 1]
Party: [Saeko, Celia]
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AN: Wake up babe, new Earth lore just dropped. Bit of a setup chapter but don’t worry because soo- OH MY GOSH THE AUTHOR JUST GOT HIT BY A STEEL CHAIR! JR! He’s down! He’s down! Wait… no don’t do it… he’s got the author in a choke hold an- OH MY GOSH! HE SLAMMED HIM THROUGH THE TABLE! HE’S DEAD! HE’S DEAD! THE AUTHOR’S DEAD JR! WE JUST WITNESSED A MURDER! Who could’ve done this- wait, no way! It’s…
(Next half of the chapter will be posted later today, or it’s already up along with chapter 15 on Patreon (Patreon.com/Koyon). Also - officially moving up from 1 chapter ahead being posted on Patreon to 3 chapters ahead starting Saturday. Thanks for reading!)