Resequencing DNA

 “Mummy needs a shower,” said Ashleigh to Sofia, “I’ll be down shortly…okay sweetheart.”

Sofia looked up at her with her big blue eyes,

“But…you said you would be back yesterday,” muttered Sofia, a tear rolling softly down her cheek.

Sofia’s words cut Ashleigh deeply, in that moment they felt like a dagger to the heart. Was she already becoming the type of mother she feared to be? A mother who would make promise after promise to her children, only to break them after all was said and done. Was she destined to be the type of mother Grace was to her when she was younger? One that her children would grow to resent?

“I…I know, sweetheart,” replied Ashleigh, “But this time will be different, I promise.”

“Okay Mummy,” replied Sofia, dragging out her sentence before running back across the hall to Grace.

“Ashleigh…” muttered Elijah, as he stood in the doorway, his eyes fixed on his fiancée as she stood at the bottom of the stairs.

“I…I can’t right now…Elijah,” she replied as she began to make her way up the stairs.

“I’m so glad, you’re home…safe,” he added with a smile, “I…I love you.”

Ashleigh smiled meekly, she had just witnessed a glimpse of the man she had fallen in love with, not the man who made stupid decisions without consulting her and upsetting her in the process. She continued on her way up the stairs and to the sanctuary of her bedroom, closing the door behind her. She immediately stripped off her clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor. The smells of the previous night still remained, like a lingering ghost of the ill choices she had made.

As she stripped off her clothes, the lingering scent of the previous night clung to her like a shroud. The memory of her choices, the reckless decisions she had made, played out like a silent film in her mind.

The hot water of the shower became a cleansing ritual, a desperate attempt to wash away the stain of her actions. But even as the water cascaded over her, the whispers of doubt remained.

As she eventually shut off the shower, she heard the sound of the bedroom door closing, followed by footsteps making their way across the room.

“Elijah?” she thought, wrapping a towel around her and making her way to the door that led to the bedroom.

Ashleigh opened the door ajar and peered through, realising her guess was ill-placed as she noticed Pippa sitting on the bed, not far from the clothes Ashleigh had just taken off. Had she picked up on the strong odours that emanated from Ashleigh’s clothes, a telling sign of what she had been up to the night before?

With a deep breath, she opened the door and stepped into the room,

“Pip…what are you doing?” asked Ashleigh.

“Ash…I could ask you the same thing,” she replied, pointing towards the discarded clothing.

“I have no idea what you mean,” replied Ashleigh, attempting to feign innocence.

“Come on Ashleigh,” stated Pippa, giving a knowing look to her friend, “I love you Ash, but I'm not oblivious. When I saw you yesterday, you were wearing this exact outfit. And unless I'm mistaken, you weren't wearing a perfume that reeked of marijuana.”

“I was near someone…that was erm…” started Ashleigh, only for Pippa to interject.

“Ash…I’m not stupid…where were you last night? We’ve all been worried sick,” said Pippa, concern evident in her voice.

Ashleigh's facade crumbled as she realised her secret could no longer be kept. With a heavy heart, she confessed to Pippa how she had argued with Elijah over the whole Wesley situation, went for a drive and then headed to her old apartment to get some perspective before ending up at the bar she used to work in.  She then confessed that she had met someone at the bar, where she became somewhat intoxicated and went back to the guy's apartment, where she spent the night.

Pippa sat with her hand on her head in disbelief,

“Look…I know I’ve been stupid,” explained Ashleigh, “please…don’t tell Elijah,” she pleaded.

“Ash…you’re pregnant,” whispered Pippa, “what on earth came over you?”

“I…I don’t know what I was thinking Pip,” replied Ashleigh, “The whole thing with Wesley…It seems to have pushed me over the edge.”

“I heard about the argument…Elijah told me everything,” said Pippa, “I just can’t believe your way of dealing with it, would be going out…getting drunk…taking drugs and fucking some guy you met at a bar…is this the way you’re going to deal with every argument the two of you have?”

Ashleigh's eyes narrowed as she struggled to process Pippa's words. Her mind was still clouded, her thoughts scattered.

“No…nothing like that at all…” she muttered in response, however, she was starting to feel somewhat judged by the woman she had came to regard as her best friend. “Look, Pip…I don’t need a lecture right now…okay, so you can get down from your gold-incrusted moral throne and stop judging me. It’s a friend I need right now…not a lecture,” she quipped, her voice laced with bitterness. “And do you know what…If you can’t be that friend for whatever reason…then please…there’s the door right there, feel free to use it and if you do…be sure to find the front door and use that too.”

“Ash…you know I’m not judging you…where did that come from?” said Pippa, “I’m just concerned for you…and of course my unborn niece or nephew.”

“When will you learn Pip…I don’t actually fit in with you…your family…any of you,” stated Ashleigh.

Before Pippa had the chance to respond, Ashleigh continued,

“You were born into this…this society, born into money…living in…in houses like this…expected to be and act a certain way…but I am NOT like you,” Ashleigh continued, “Can’t you see that…I’m from a…a completely different world in that respect. In my world, we make mistakes…we fuck up…drown our sorrows…”

I understand Ash, but you do belong here…you’ve proven that these past few months…you’ve changed,” said Pippa.

“Yeah…well…maybe I haven’t…maybe it was all just some great act I was putting on to try and fit in with your lifestyle. And now…at the first glimpse of my real self…it’s frowned upon,” said Ashleigh her tone laced with bitterness. “Last night…yes last night was a mistake…I get that,” she continued to explain, “But…in the same respect…I felt free…I felt liberated…Pip…I felt like my old self again. It was the sort of thing that I would do in my old life.”

Pippa's heart sank as she listened to Ashleigh's words. The divide between them was more profound than she had ever imagined. Ashleigh's experiences in her former life had shaped her in ways that Pippa could never fully understand.

“Look…Ashleigh…I understand that all of this is different…” started Pippa,

“No…Pip…you’ll never truly understand,” Ashleigh cut in, interrupting her friend. “I’m not ready nor am I built for this…for any of this,” said Ashleigh.

“For what, sweetie?” asked Pippa.

“I’m just barely coming to grips with…being this way,” Ashleigh explained, “And while I am happy…and I don’t think I would ever want to go back…I’m just not sure I’m ready for all this responsibility…this lifestyle…being a fiancée…the whole good little housewife…and on top of all…Pip…I’m not ready to be a mother.”

Pippa gazed at her friend, her heart heavy with concern, she noticed the tears as they began to roll down Ashleigh’s cheek.

“I mean…you’re right…what are the chances of Elijah and I arguing in the future,” said Ashleigh, “What am I gonna do…jump into bed with a stranger, every time we have a disagreement? See…Pip…you discovered who and what you were a long time ago…you went through your rebellious phase…look at you…and Aaron for example…you had that moment…got it out of your system…and now look at you, happily married, expecting a child, have your own business…I have never had that phase…Pip…I was never fortunate enough to have it. Yes, I had it as Aaron…but Ashleigh…she’s never been afforded that chance…not until last night.”

 

“I…I guess you’re right,” said Pippa, “I can never see things truly from your perspective. I guess…at times, I forget you’ve been Ashleigh, for only mere months. And yet here you are, thrust into a new way of life, engaged to be married and expecting a child…all so soon…It must be having some bearing on you psychologically…I told Elijah that it was a bad idea…with Wes…”

“Wait…you knew what he and Wes were planning?” Ashleigh quickly interrupted.

“I…I did…to a degree…but I told Elijah that they should only do it…if YOU okayed the idea,” explained Pippa, “I didn’t realise they would be stupid enough to go through with it before they consulted you.”

“And YOU didn’t inform me of their ridiculous scheme?” snapped Ashleigh, “Just how many people knew what was going on?”

Pippa looked at her friend with a sheepish expression on her face, it was clear that she already knew Ashleigh was not going to like her answer.

“Other than Elijah and Wes…just me and my Mum…” explained Pippa.

However, before either of them could speak another word, there was a gentle knock on the bedroom door.

“Who is it?” asked Ashleigh, her voice still sharp with anger.

“It’s me…Mrs Henry,” said the voice from the other side of the door conveying a sense of calm amidst the brewing storm.

Ashleigh and Pippa exchanged worried glances. They had no idea what to expect.

“Come,” beckoned Ashleigh as she readjusted the towel she still wrapped herself with.

Mrs Henry opened the door slowly and peeked her head inside,

“What is it?” asked Ashleigh rather abruptly.

“It’s Elijah,” Mrs Henry explained, her tone soothing and understanding, “he has requested a meeting with you, Pippa and your Mother in the living room.”

“Mrs Henry, you can tell Elijah…” Ashleigh began, her words halting as she caught Pippa's worried expression. The look on her friend's face, a silent plea for understanding, prompted Ashleigh to pause and reassess her initial reaction. “Would you be so kind as to inform, Elijah…I will be down shortly,” she instructed, her voice now tinged with a newfound sense of resolve.

“Indeed Miss Ashleigh,” replied Mrs Henry, her eyes lingering on Ashleigh with a hint of empathy. The old woman seemed to understand the gravity of the situation, the unspoken tension hanging heavy in the air.

“Anything else, Mrs Henry?” asked Ashleigh.

“Miss Ashleigh…do I have permission to speak freely…as a friend…rather than an employee?” the old woman asked, her tone soft and calming.

Ashleigh hesitated, her gaze meeting Pippa's. Mrs Henry’s question hung in the air for a brief moment as Ashleigh contemplated her request.

“Please, Mrs Henry, you know you are always welcome,” said Ashleigh, her voice softening.

Mrs Henry stepped inside, her eyes taking in the two young women, as she gently closed the door behind her.

“Miss Ashleigh…I know I haven’t known you very long,” started Mrs Henry, “But I already feel like I know you…as a person…rather well. Whilst I don’t know the full extent of what is going on…I do know you and Elijah…I have never seen a love like it in all my many years,” she continued. “I guess what I’m trying to say is…talk to each other…you can work through this together, the two of you together…you are amazing. There is nothing the two of you can’t overcome when you’re on the same page. But just so you know…I am here for you both…no matter what.”

The old woman's unwavering belief in their love and her gentle encouragement provided a glimmer of hope in the face of uncertainty.

“Thank you…Mrs Henry,” replied Ashleigh, her voice now somewhat calm and gentle.

“That will be all Miss,” said Mrs Henry as she left the room.

“See Ash,” said Pippa, “You are loved more than you dare believe.”

“I shall be down shortly,” said Ashleigh, her tone now somewhat dismissive of Pippa's presence, her focus shifting back to the internal struggle that raged within her.

Pippa got up and walked towards the door,

“I am here for you…you know,” she said reassuringly, “Things…will be okay Ash, I promise.”

Hearing her friend's words brought a slight smile to her lips,

“Honestly…I don’t even know anymore,” replied Ashleigh, “It’s like I can no longer distinguish between friend and foe.”

“Oh, and Ash…one last piece of advice…” said Pippa as her hand rested on the door handle as she glanced back towards her friend.

“Go on?” instructed Ashleigh.

“Those clothes…if I were you, I’d leave them by an open window…you know…air them out a little,” Pippa stated before opening the door and leaving the room, leaving Ashleigh alone with her thoughts once more.