Self Insert as Spider-Man MCU

The look on Aunt May's face when I entered the apartment was a welcoming one, which was a surprise because I was sure she was angry with me... and then Jubadi strode in behind me and the smile on May's face disappeared.

“Mom? I have something to explain and you probably want to sit down for this.” I said.

May nodded and plopped down onto the comfy couch to stare at me expectantly.

“Before you overreact, this is not the woman I was referring to when I texted and called.”

“Oh, thank god.” May whispered.

“She is the personal bodyguard that was assigned to me when I was betrothed to an African Princess.”

May's mouth dropped open, her eyes bulged out, and she fainted.

I walked over to her and knelt on the floor in front of her. It took her several minutes to come to and she blinked her eyes at me several times, did the same to Jubadi, and then at me again.

“I didn't imagine that, did I?” May asked.

“No.” I said and held a hand out to her.

After a moment, she sighed and took it. “What happened?”

“That's a little hard to explain. You see, I was out doing an off-site job for work and...” I told her a highly edited and altered version of the truth. It had most of the same points, only the circumstances were different. I explained presenting them with new technology that was easily adaptable and then meeting Shuri and how quickly we had hit it off.

I didn't leave out the sex with the guards part, because that first time with the princess was very important to their culture. I also explained that they helped and taught her what to do to both give and receive pleasure and made sure her first time was the best it could ever have been.

May sat there and stared at me as I explained the betrothal process, the giving of gifts between the betrothed, and that it would take four years before anything was finalized. I also told her about my new diplomatic ambassador status and what that meant for me, for her, and for Parker Incorporated. The only thing that made her react was when I mentioned sending relief packages to Shuri's home country of Wakanda.

“Yes, I can help with that. We can make it the clinic's first official mission.” May said with determination and she let my hand go and stood. “I'm going to bed and I'll think about what exactly we can start putting together to help them.”

I opened my mouth to ask her if she was okay with everything and Jubadi put a hand on my shoulder and shook her head at me. “All right. I'll head to bed as well. I'll see you in the morning.”

May nodded and walked over to the stairs and was halfway up them when she came to a stop and turned to look at me. “Did you call me mom before?”

I stood up and nodded. “You might not have given birth to me; but, you raised me as if I was your own and you've always been there for me. You've done your best to give me the best life you could and if that doesn't make you the best mom in the world, then they need to change what the word mom means.”

May stared at me for several seconds until she decided that my words were sincere, blushed a little, then she nodded and went up the stairs to go to her bedroom. When she was gone, Jubadi and I went back outside of the apartment and down to the alley where the unmarked SUV waited. The men inside unloaded the crates of things I had gotten from Wakanda and carried them inside for us.

A quick ride in the elevator later, they had everything inside the apartment and I had the difficult decision of where to put it. I decided my room was good enough for now, even if it was tiny and practically stuffed full already.

“You need a new place.” Jubadi said as I put the crate of arc reactors down.

“I've rented an entire floor in Stark Tower.” I said and left to bring in the crate of books. “I could probably transfer a lot of this there, just because I could.”

“Not these.” Jubadi said and tapped the crates from Wakanda.

“No, only one of the new reactors is going to enter the tower and that's going to be a gift for Pepper.” I said and Jubadi nodded. “I just have to decide if I want Tony to be there, too.”

“You would have to explain how you created it.” Jubadi said, wisely.

“Good point. No Tony.” I said and sat down on the bed. I checked my cell phones and there were only a few missed messages while I was being debriefed by Maria. Most just asked why I wasn't in school. I sent some quick responses and said I had been tied up at work in a conference with my boss.

I put my phone down and stood to open my closet. I nodded to Jubadi and she started to strip off her outfit. She hung up the ceremonial parts, dropped the normal clothes to the floor, and pulled off her underwear to add to the pile.

“I'll wash them in the morning.” I said, feeling quite tired.

I stripped off and tossed all of my clothes onto the floor and climbed into bed. Jubadi followed me and didn't comment about sharing such a small bed. She snuggled into my side and then dug her teeth into my shoulder. I knew it was a love bite and I sprang right up for her, which made her growl and she climbed on top of me. We both went quickly, because she was tired as well.

After we both got off, we went to sleep just like that.

The next morning, May was back to being her old self, especially when I connected Shuri's cell phone to the television and they talked while I made breakfast bagels for us and made extra for May to take to work. The four of us enjoyed breakfast and I kissed May's cheek afterwards and told her to have a great day at work. She nodded and said goodbye to Jubadi and Shuri before she left.

“At least May's trying.” I commented. “She could have kicked us out.”

“She's too nice to do that.” Shuri said. “I need to go as well. Call me again at lunch, Benji.”

“Yes, My Princess.” I said as I saluted and bowed.

“Jubadi, smack him for me.” Shuri said and I felt the slap on the side of my head.

“Ouch.” I said and smiled. “I'll see you soon, Shuri.”

Shuri nodded and ended the call.

“May will get used to constantly seeing me with you.” Jubadi said. “You do not think the Prince or Princess liked having a constant guard, do you? It took time and patience, both of which I have.”

I gave her a pointed look. “Is that what you're doing with me? Being patient?”

“Yes, sithandwa.” Jubadi gave me a smile and leaned over to bite my earlobe. “I am waiting for you to order me to wear only normal clothing, now that we have returned to your home.”

I frowned at her. “Why would I order that?”

Jubadi looked surprised. “So I will not stand out so much.”

“Are you not proud of your heritage?” I asked. “Does wearing your uniform shame you?”

“Usisidenge! (you are a fool)” Jubadi exclaimed and then a stream of Xhosa came out of her mouth that I couldn't make sense of.

I waited until she calmed down before I spoke. “You are to wear your uniform at all times when you are working, as required by your profession. You can wear whatever you like when off-duty.”

Jubadi stared into my eyes for several minutes, then the washer dinged.

I went up and changed the clothing to the dryer and put it on the appropriate setting, then went in the shower to quickly wash up. Jubadi joined me while her underclothing dried and then we went to my room to get dressed. I put on dress pants, a blue shirt, my expensive watch with a hidden web shooter inside, and new sneakers that had good grips for winter.

“I will get a lot of attention, sithandwa.” Jubadi said as she picked up the SHIELD pistol.

“You can leave the gun here. They won't let you into the school with it, even with diplomatic immunity.” I said and she put it back into the closet. “Your thigh knife and collapsible spear will be enough.”

Jubadi strapped the knife to her thigh and clipped the spear handle to her belt on the other side. “All of the guard wanted to thank you for this.” She said and caressed the handle.

“I doubt their husbands and mates would appreciate that.” I said with a chuckle. “You had a hard enough time refusing Kithula's advances.”

“He is strong, yes. He would have made acceptable children when my time in the guard ends.” Jubadi said and gave me a look full of desire. “He could barely last past his second proof before he collapsed from exhaustion. I have recently found that is unsuitable in a mate until I retire to train the next generation.”

“Oh. I just thought you didn't like him much.”

“I do not. Liking him is not a requirement to have strong children. Only the removal of the vibranium blocks on my ovaries is required.” Jubadi said.

That brought me up short. “Wait a second. As long as someone can give you a strong child, and you're retired, those are the only prerequisites you consider? You don't have to like them, love them, care about them, or...”

Jubadi stepped close and kissed me to shut me up. “Your views are not our views and our views are not those of the common people. We are to ensure the continued safety of the Wakandan people by producing the strongest warriors. Nothing else is needed for consideration.”

“But...”

“I will admit that liking them can make producing children with them somewhat more enjoyable.”

I couldn't stop my smile. “Somewhat more?”

Jubadi smiled and pointed to the bedroom door. “We must leave to catch the bus.”

“Right, right. I'm doing coffee and donut runs this week.” I said and grabbed my school backpack before we left my room and went downstairs. “I apologize in advance that we can't show affection while in public.”

“It is a small price to pay to stay by your side all day.” Jubadi said as I put on my jacket and locked the apartment door.

“I had an idea about that.” I said with a smirk and she shook her head. “Aw, come on! It's foolproof.”

“I am to guard you from threats, not indulge in your sexual fantasies.” Jubadi said.

“Can I categorize them as tests of my prowess?” I asked as we rode the elevator to the ground floor.

Jubadi grabbed my earlobe with a thumb and index finger and pinched it hard.

“OW! Ow ow ow!” I said and jumped several times until she let it go.

“Only Dora Milaje can decide on appropriate tests, Royal Consort.” Jubadi said and straightened her back as the elevator doors opened. “I am to protect you with my life and you will not squander it.”

I nodded as I rubbed my ear and stepped out of the elevator with Jubadi half a step behind and beside me. Her stride matched mine perfectly and we left the building and went down the street to wait for the bus.

Jubadi gave a visible shiver as her breath left her mouth.

“Remind me to look up a thermal blanket design and I'll work on integrating it into your uniform.” I said and she nodded. “For now, you may wrap yourself around me to share body heat.”

Jubadi gave me a pointed look.

“This is not what I meant before. You're suffering the cold and that's an oversight I shouldn't have let happen. I offer my own body heat as compensation.”

Jubadi nodded and stepped behind me and wrapped her arms around my chest to hug me close. Her ear went against mine and she let out a soft sigh as my body quickly warmed her up.

The bus arrived and it was relatively warm on it, so she stood beside my seat. We rode it to the right stop and we went to the coffee shop down the street. The barista behind the counter saw me and had a sad smile on her face.

I approached her and the smile changed to a forced happy one. “I'm sorry for not calling. I had a lot of things happen over the holidays and...”

“It's okay. You don't have to explain.” She said. “What can I get you?”

I told her the order and she and the other girl did it up. She hand it to me and I paid.

“Did you want a long term relationship or were you looking to have fun for a short time?” I blurted out.

She looked surprised for a moment, then shrugged. “I just wanted to see where it might go.”

I opened my mouth to respond and Jubadi put a hand on my shoulder. I sighed and nodded. “I'm sorry we won't get to discover what could have happened.”

“Me, too.” She said and waved as Jubadi and I left the coffee shop.

The looks on everyone's faces when I neared the school was a mix of odd, weird, inquisitive, surprise, and shock.

“I told you that I would gain attention.” Jubadi whispered.

“Yes, and that's the whole point of you being here.” I whispered back. I didn't have to see her face to know she was surprised by my answer. “Princess Shuri wanted everyone to know I'm being protected.”

We entered the school and went to the office. Everyone stared at Jubadi and no one even glanced at me, which was perfect. I opened the office door and the receptionist caught her breath. Mary stared just as much as the students outside had.

“Coffee and donuts!” I said and put them on the counter. I was suddenly surrounded and then complete silence fell and no one reached for the coffee or the donuts. “Quick introductions are in order.” I said and introduced myself as the Royal Consort, then my personal guard Jubadi, and I greeted each person like we had never met before. When I was done, I handed Mary the proper forms for her to file.

“Mr. Parker? This isn't a joke?” Principal Morita asked.

“No, sir.” I said. “I became the ambassador to a third world country on the weekend.”

They all just stared at me and didn't react.

“The coffee is getting cold.” I prompted and that got them moving.

The pilfering of donuts was less pronounced and they were a bit awkward with their thanks and saying goodbye. None were more surprised than Mary, though. The look of loss on her face was pronounced.

“I'm not getting married for four years.” I told her and the look didn't change. “Princess Shuri could meet someone else...”

Jubadi made a snort sound and then coughed.

I sighed. “I'm sorry if that changes how you see me, Mary.”

“Ben, I... I...” Mary looked down at the paperwork I had handed her. “Your argument about... you weren't lying. You really are a different person than who you were.”

“I am.” I said and she nodded.

“I'll have this processed in an hour. For now, I suggest you stay out of the hallways. You don't want to cause a scene by having a personal guard with you.”

“You're lucky I was only allowed one.” I said and her eyes widened. “Hintula would have had a fight on her hands to get the second spot.”

Mary gave Jubadi a questioning look and my guard nodded. “I'm not sure what to say to that.”

“I'm glad you're not going to be an even bigger disruption to my school, Ben.” I said to her.

Mary huffed and smiled slightly. “It's much too late to say that.”

I actually couldn't argue against that, so I nodded. “Can we stay here for now? I only have English Lit for first class anyway.”

“Have a seat and I'll get started.” Mary said and I sat down and Jubadi stood beside the chair. She gave my guard a searching look before she went to work.

It took the entire hour, just as Mary told us, and she handed us both special passes to hang around our necks. That way they could always be seen and they gave us special permission to be on school premises and also informed everyone to not mess with us. That was definitely going to come in handy.

We left the office and everyone in the hallways stared at us. Well, they stared at the tall African beauty that wore a warrior outfit and looked supremely confident and deadly. I went to my Civil Engineering class and Jubadi stayed right there by my side. Luckily, she chose to stand near the wall and not in the aisle, so she didn't disrupt the class any more than her mere presence did.

I spent half the class explaining who she was to everyone and telling them the same story I told May, which had everyone's attention by the time I was done. With luck, by lunchtime, I wouldn't have to explain it again and everyone would know already.

When my lunch period arrived, I discovered that it was both good luck and bad luck to have everyone know already, because when Jubadi and I entered the cafeteria, everyone stopped what they were doing and complete silence fell as all talking stopped. That wasn't what bothered me, though.

The table that Liz and her friends usually sat at, was completely empty.