The Gate of Shadows

The next day was nerve-racking, waiting for Melody to come with the supplies. All the while, Fenris never left my side since he woke up; he hadn’t let me out under him. It was almost overwhelming, and it felt like he was holding me like it was the last time he could.

Something must’ve happened when he was out the day before and was again hiding it from me. Although I didn’t mind his touch, all I worried about was what was to come. Sadly, it meant I wasn’t enjoying him like I would’ve liked. Part of me wanted to forget what was coming, but I couldn’t truly accomplish it, even if it was to enjoy the moments when we made love.

Everything I was about to do or happen kept playing at the back of my mind, eroding my senses and leaving behind the fear of losing what I held dear. Thanks to the interruption, when Melody finally knocked on the door, Fenris's mood quickly soured.

He planned for us to be alone for the rest of the day. I tried to stand up from the bed, but my legs failed me, sending me to fall straight into Fenris's arms. A chuckle rose from his lips, releasing me onto the bed and prompting me to pout.

It’s your fault! You know!

However, everything slipped by when he patted my head, smiling at me gently.

"Stay here. I’ll tell her you aren’t feeling well." Fenris said as I growled in response.

"But I—" I tried speaking up, only for Fenris to come down towards me and softly kiss my lips before pushing me down onto the pillows behind me.

He traveled to my ear there, triggering a shiver to run through me.

"Listen, today I’ll have you all to myself. Nothing else matters." He purred, swiftly silencing any protest I had.

His tone of voice when he spoke worried me about what he meant. After all, he had never said something like that to me before this. Tugging away from me, he put on a pair of pants that were on the floor as I couldn’t help but bury myself in the bed and under the covers.

Once I was covered from head to toe with the blanket, Fenris opened the door to reveal Melody patiently waiting. Although I couldn’t see her face, the atmosphere felt heavier than usual. Something was off about her, yet as naked as I was, I couldn’t run to her and ask.

Before the silver wolf could ask her why she was there, she swiftly handed him the bag she had gathered for me.

"This is for Lilith!" Melody announced, jolting off.

The suddenness caused me to poke my head out of the covers, allowing me to see how extra jumpy and aware she was of her surroundings than the day before. Fenris didn’t seem pleased by her interruption, but he wasn’t rude to her when he answered the door.

He hadn’t even said a word to her before she abruptly left.

The previous night, you left with Liam. Did something happen between them?

Part of me wanted to run after her and find out what was wrong, but my legs or Fenris wouldn’t allow it. Out in the halls was dangerous for me since the person who stole the files and made them public was still unknown. The bewildered wolf closed the door, placing the bag beside my bed.

Covering myself with the thin sheets, I glanced at him, appearing puzzled by Melody’s behavior.

"I thought she was going to nag at me for making her wait not to cry," he noted, shaking his head.

I fought the urge that came through me to find her when he said that. She had always been wary of my wolf, but never to that extent.

Did Liam say something to you? Or someone else?

My wolf didn’t give me a chance to think of it much when he shrugged.

"No matter. I won’t allow it to affect today's outcome." He commented, peeling off all his clothes.

Watching the silver wolf burned my cheeks until he connected with me again, drowning every thought in his presence. Even when my consciousness waned, he didn’t let me rest or think of anything else but him. I felt my body grow overly sensitive to his touch for the entire day.

He only let me be when I had to relieve myself or eat. Otherwise, he filled me up with himself until I was over the edge. I never lost consciousness, even though I was close, ensuring I would remember every hour I spent with him.

By the time the moon was out, Fenris helped me into the shower, where he continued to make love to me. The hot water splashing over us didn’t help me keep a leveled head. By this point, I was so utterly addicted to him that nothing else mattered, making all my worries from before vanish.

His eyes were full of desire for me, even though he had me in his arms.

Can’t get enough like me?  

I had lost count of how often I told him I loved him. Every time it escaped my lips, he would kiss me profusely, drowning me in his affection, leaving me light-headed while thrusting deeper into me, marking even my deepest realms with his warmth.

I had never felt him like this before. Sometimes, we would do it all day, but never this feverously. Though it reminded me of nights with a full moon, even then, he would never let me get overwhelmed like this. Perhaps this happened because I told Fenris about my feelings.

Can I believe I’m more than just your duty?

When I finally found my release inside the bathroom, a dark curtain covered my sigh as Fenris grabbed me to prevent me from falling into the tub below. Worried, he pinned me against the wall, holding my face with his hand and forcing my dazed gaze into his.

"Hey... are you okay?" he breathed before licking my lips and grinding himself into my core.

A whine escaped my lips instead of an answer, placing my hands on his chest. I could barely keep my mind straight, but the heat was getting too much for me.

Ah… I almost blacked out…

"It’s... hot," I mumbled, energy waning.

I had never felt this tired before.

"Okay... hold on to me as hard as you can," Fenris whispered.

I clung to him on command, yet my arms and legs trembled to hold on. It was almost as if my body wasn’t mine anymore. Turning off the water, Fenris took me out of the bathroom and onto the bed again, allowing the chilly breeze from the night to quickly cool me off.

On the other hand, the heat from Fenris warmed me right back up. With little thought, he thrust himself inside of me once again, causing me to lose myself again. My voice was hoarse and raspy even though he fed me water every small break we had.

I felt like I was floating in the air, unable to tell what was real anymore, leaving me clasping the sheets to hold on, yet he quickly entwined them with his. Each thrust felt like it was pushing towards the edge I was about to fall from, but his hands kept me anchored to him and this reality.

Even though his mouth robbed me of every breath I could take, I never felt more alive. His desire for me made me feel invincible, even when the slight aches in my body tried to twist me back from the high I was on. Even though with each climax, I felt numb before being consumed with pleasure soon after.

Fenris was my anchor to this world that much I knew. Even though my voice didn’t sound like mine anymore, he enjoyed making it squeak to his tune. I had never felt more his than that day. His voice was also raspy and husky, something I hadn’t heard him be before.

Everywhere he touched, I felt raw and ready for more, even if my body could barely keep up. His eyes had been shining since we began, and they were more visible at night with the lights turned off.

His wet hair trickled down onto my skin, leaving a trail of cold where it was once hot. It had always surprised me how gentle Fenris was with me, even though he had the strength to snap me like a twig if he wanted.

Every time he held me, I had no bruises or any pain after my nights with him. Other than the playful kiss marks he left on me to remind me how he had held me. The worst I ever felt after being with Fenris was sore, but after a workout, anyone would.

My heart ached because of it.

Am I enough for you, my beloved wolf? If I were like you, then… you wouldn’t need to hold back.

Perhaps it was the exhaustion taking hold or something else, but my insecurities grew to a boiling point.

"Fenris..." I panted for air, clasping his hands tightly in mine.

He kissed me upon hearing his name, leaving me breathless yet again. My head felt like it was spinning out of control while our tongues tangoed with one another. Yet I somehow found it within myself to lift my body lightly, kissing him back.

I softly nibbled on his lower lip, causing him to tug away from me slightly. For a moment, I saw his fangs—ones he never used on me. While on the internet, I read that Lycan couples bit each other to mark each other.

Otherwise, their kiss marks would disappear in seconds.

I can never mark you like you do to me. Am I good enough? Is this okay for you?

Somewhat avoiding his gaze, I struggled to sit up. The feeling of him still in me was overwhelming.

"Am I enough?" I mumbled, trying to catch my breath.

My gaze traveled away from him, only for him to grab my chin and pull it towards him.

"What do you mean by that, Lily?" Fenris asked, out of breath as well.

But was I? Do you want me as I do? Do you love me? I want to know. No, I need to know. Am I your duty or... something else? Please tell me, or else it won’t stick.

"Is this enough?" I asked, firmer, placing my hand on his warm cheek.

"Of course, why would you think you aren’t?" Fenris questioned, shaking his head.

In a couple of weeks, they would force him to marry Layla, and I couldn’t have her take him away from me.

If that happens, I’ll die inside.

"You hold back with me, don't you? Wouldn't it be better with another of your kin? Like—" he didn’t let me finish.

Instead, he suddenly thrust himself within me, closing the gap that he created when I bit his lip. A yelp left me, noticing his eyes glow brighter.

"Where are you getting these ideas from? I’m only with you, Lily. I only want you.” He growled, shoving himself within me again.

Another whine left me, leaving me gripping his arms.

“Don’t you know? I’m too rough with you sometimes." My wolf reassured me, kissing me deeply once again before moving once again at a steady pace.

The moment he pulled away from my lips, I finally broke.

"Liar!" I mewled loudly.

He let little space between his thrust to let me speak, though.

"That’s because... you’re used to it, silly girl." He huffed, feeling it, too.

Yet I was having none of it. I didn’t know what came over me, but I wanted a better answer.

"I don’t believe you," I rumbled, trying to keep my mind in one place, only for Fenris to fill me up with himself.

Making sure my sight was back on him, he forced me to watch him making love to me by placing his hand behind my head. It was almost as if he tried to engrave his expressions into my mind. His face was full of pleasure, causing me nearly to freeze on the spot.

Usually, he would let me glance wherever I wanted, but with his hand on my head, he firmly fixated my gaze on him. There, I saw where we were connected. Even though the lights were off, my eyes had adjusted to the dim light.

Everything he poured into me was dripping every time he thrust into me. The sheets under us were soaked with our love.

"I’m utterly addicted to you, Lily," Fenris assured me in a raspy voice, not stopping momentarily.

Seeing him like this was almost as if something within me broke wide open. I kissed him, not being able to hold myself back anymore. Separating from him for a breath of air, he took the chance to continue making love to me at the pace he had before.

"I love you!" I whined.

My confession triggered him to kiss me again lightly before licking his lips.

"Hah... I molded you to my liking. Even your insides are all for me. You’re mine," Fenris smirked, placing his hand on my abdomen.

Before he kissed me more profoundly than previously, my wolf pushed into me, filling me up once again with his seeds. Pulling away from my lips, I saw a hint of sadness as Fenris gazed at me, still connected.

"You’re mine, right?" he whispered, with a soft frown that rose on his lips.

Are you also thinking about the festival and everything that comes after it? Will it change everything for you and me? Are you thinking about the same questions that worry me?

“I’m yours. Only yours!” I grabbed onto his cheeks, kissing him.

He responded by deepening it before continuing with his movements. Throughout the night, he made love to me until the early hours of the morning. At that point, my desire to be with him could no longer keep up with my body.