The Gate of Shadows

Leaving Melody to clean, I studied what I recorded in the book.

I thought reading my memories would’ve clarified things, but it complicated everything.

Everything I experienced was jarring and came to me in waves as I tried to read the recorded information. Melody tried to put up a strong front but was terrified by everything she witnessed. It made every turn of the page a slug as I had to recompose myself with each one.

I can’t find anything about the red moon! Stella's spell is the only valuable part of this book; everything else is practically useless!

Hours passed before I slumped onto the table before Melody suggested moving to the bed, which I reluctantly agreed to. I placed the book on a shelf where Fenris would never find it. On my way to the bed, I glanced at the clock, only to see it was midnight.

My wolf was still nowhere to be seen. Anxiety surged through me while Melody reassured me he was okay by showing me her phone. In it, there were messages he sent asking about me not too long ago.

Most of her responses reassured him that everything was fine on our end—far from the truth, but she kept her promise. The screen also showed messages from when we went into the spell. She had grabbed her phone from Shade to send him a preventive message saying that I was about to nap and that she would let him know when I was up again.

After that, he sent another message when we were both asleep, informing us of delays on his end. When Melody woke up, she informed him of her accidental nap with me. In his last message, he apologized to her for making her care for me for the rest of the night, assuring her he would be back by the morning.

Part of me felt disappointed that Fenris wouldn’t be with me tonight. After all, I wanted to remove Alijah's touch with him. Even after the bath, his presence still lingered on me, leaving me to sleep with the sensation of another man’s touch on me.

Melody promised not to leave my side, grabbing my hands while staying by me the entire night. Even though her efforts were comforting, she wasn’t Fenris. Her touch didn’t soothe me like his. Multiple times throughout the night, I jolted awake due to recurring nightmares of past times.

Luckily, I didn’t dream of Alijah, allowing him only to plague my waking moments. When morning came, I went to work once again. Melody tried to prepare something for us to eat. The poor wolf hadn’t slept either, waking up every time I did, leaving me feeling awful, but it wasn’t something I could’ve controlled.

To start the day, I took a break from the book before grabbing the tablet and searching for information about the black lycan, but I found none. Many Alijahs appeared on social media, but none like the one I sought.

It’s something I expected. After all, you said you are six thousand years old.

The technology we had in the present didn’t exist back then, but I hoped there were myths or legends about him roaming.

Alijah’s the first blood moon wolf. Shouldn’t there be information about you?

Sadly, I could only find thousands of other useless things. Giving up on discovering more about the rogue wolf, I turned towards the blood moon, only to hit the same blocks as before. The Lycans were keeping everything on the down low, not that I blamed them after everything that happened.

Or perhaps it’s how I search for things that prevent me from advancing. Damn it…

To help me, Melody made pancakes, which were probably the most beautiful morning cakes I had ever seen. She made one resembling Shade and a frog with food coloring.

“Thank you, Mel,” I smiled, triggering her to respond the same

“Mel, I like that! Can I call you Lily like Fenris does?” She asked.

“Of course,” I nodded.

Her smile quickly disappeared when she gazed at her phone before showing me Fenris wasn’t returning yet. Whatever he was doing delayed him again, putting a bitter-sweet taste to the food before me as this was the longest I had been without him in years.

But I’m no longer a child and can’t always depend on you, so this is good and bad.

With food in my belly, I set back into the research.

Lily, create a priority list instead of searching for everything simultaneously. Shade mentioned jumping on my shoulder.

She thought the reason I was finding blocks was that I was trying to fix everything at once, which I was. I couldn’t concentrate on one thing alone. Sadly, that wasn’t why I couldn’t see past the vast information on the web.

Staring at the ceiling, I tried to collect my thoughts. From all the dangers I knew, Alijah was the true danger, but he wasn’t what would happen within the next few weeks. No, my gut told me it was something else that was coming.

The witches? Revolution? Were you warning me about something? Arg, why not just say it?

One thing was certain: Stella loved to mess around with Fenris's birthday, the day after the blood moon, during the festival. I glanced over at Melody to find her again, making some treats in the small kitchen we had in our room.

First... I have to fix you, but how?

Sitting up, I picked up Shade before placing her in my lap.

For that... I need Fenris and the power you’ll get from the red moon.

From what Stella said back in my memory, it seemed my wolf had the power to cancel out the curse.

But how can I harness that power to use it to help Melody?

I pondered for a while before it hit me.

Witches and their orgies!

Supposedly, they use sex to gather the magic of the red moon and super moons. I had read enough blogs about what the lesser vengeful witchcraft users were planning and how they would do it.

Maybe I can siphon some from Fenris's essence during the blood moon, but that requires me to...

Before I could think of anything else, cramps invaded my world, causing me to reach for my abdomen. Usually, Fenris would throw me a pad before I even realized I was getting into my menstrual cycle.

This time, it came without warning, crashing my world. Something I had taken for granted was suddenly missing, and my eyes swelled, realizing that this could be my new normal.

Will it be like this from now on? Alone...

Alijah's words invaded my thoughts, causing my insecurities to grow.

What’s Fenris doing? Are you with Layla finally consummating your relationship? Is that why you aren’t here with me?!

Getting up from the bed, I went into the bathroom in a silly attempt to escape my thoughts. Grabbing onto the bathroom sink, I tried to rid myself of them. Fenris assured me not a day ago that I was the only one he was doing these things with, but that could all change.

People lie all the time, especially when the thing you’re lying to is unstable.

Alijah was tainting my mind.

They’ll get rid of you as soon as it’s convenient for them. His words echoed within me.

I glanced out the bathroom door and into Melody, who was nothing like he had said she would be. It would’ve been convenient for her to have ratted me out when we returned from the spell, but she hadn’t.

Instead, she believed me and was there for me. She reached out to me even when confronted with many unknowns, helping me stand firm.

Fenris’s the same, too. I have to believe in you, or the darkness will consume me.

Even though I thought I was okay with him marrying Layla, I wasn’t.

Perhaps I would’ve been happy to be by his side once upon a time, but that’s no longer true. I don’t know if it ever was true.

I would be miserable if that were to happen.

Alijah, you’re wrong. If you would have married someone, surely, the other me would have hated it too. That can’t be the way out of this! I refuse for it to be it!

However, I was stuck as there was nothing I could do to stop Fenris from marrying her. Though, what worried me more was what Layla said once when...

I can ask the elders to spend that night with you. Her words were like poison to my heart.

What if they're together during the blood moon? If that’s the case, I won’t be able to help Melody, either!

My worries made my cramps worse, so I placed a pad on my underwear and returned to the room. There, Melody greeted me with a picture that someone interviewing Fenris had taken. The poor wolf had dark circles under his eyes and wore the same clothes he had left with the prior day.

Layla was also in the picture, clinging onto his arm and posing for the reporters who swarmed them.

So, you’re with her.

The article was: The long-awaited Lycan Wedding. Even though the title was happy, Fenris appeared cold and calculating, without an ounce of life left in his eyes. However, Layla enjoyed every minute that they spent together.

He looked completely different from when he was with me alone, reminding me of how he seemed when walking through the hallways before I was cooped up in the room.

"Fenris loves you. You can tell he's miserable with how he looks in this picture. I feel bad for him; he's probably running out of batteries." Melody commented, almost as if she had read all my insecurities.

Sadly, Alijah was making me doubt everything.

No... I already felt this, and you fed into it.

"There’s no way Fenris could love me," I mumbled.

She shook her head in disbelief.

"He does. Just look at him. He’s wishing to be here with you instead of there. Trust me, I have a knack for this!" Melody proudly huffed.

Yet you won’t talk to Liam. I don’t think you have that much of a gift for this.

At that moment, a message from him appeared on the screen, sending my heart into a storm when I saw him wondering how I was. A simple thought was enough for me to smile. Melody took the chance to play with me.

"Do you want me to call him? I’m sure he'll come for you if he knows you’re lonely." She teased.

I fidgeted because of her words, only to reach for my abdomen once again, thanks to the ongoing cramps.

"No... I don’t want to bother him. Can I bug you by making me a hibiscus tea?" I mumbled, trying to change the subject.

It wasn’t my place to bother him when he was so busy costing himself sleep. Melody was quick enough to fetch me my tea and even add some lemon. She loved cooking or doing anything with food, always putting her spin on it.

Even the way she made the drink was so pretty that I did not want to touch it. However, the cramps urged me to grab the drink from her hands.

"You know... Seeing how beautiful you are and capable of cooking, you would be the perfect wife," I complimented, feeling jealous of her qualities.

All her talents made me feel somewhat tiny in comparison. I could never do the things she did or be like her. In my case, Fenris did all the cooking.

"Thank you. I hope so, but no one will ever look at a runt like me." She shrugged.

It was her usual response to a comment like that. Her words rubbed me off the wrong way, though. It wasn’t fair for someone to decide her worth and life before she was born. Even if she were a runt, that wouldn’t have changed how I saw her.

Even so...

"You aren’t a one and never were. I’m going to free you from that label." I assured her.

“Thank you, Lily,” she smiled before turning around and returning to her task.

I took a few sips of the tea, hoping for quick relief. Hibiscus was an excellent remedy for painful cramps during the menstruation cycle women were burdened by every month. After chugging most of the tea, I sat on Fenris's bed as Shade hopped into my lap.

Before I said anything else, I tried to collect my thoughts before diving into delicate territory. I glanced at Melody, who kept herself busy so she wouldn’t think about anything that happened with Liam.

You can’t be any more obvious, Mel; how can I help you see you have a chance?

The one thing I didn’t want to happen was for her to lose hope for the future she desired. One that was still brightly shining, waiting for her to clasp it.