The Protagonist Only Thinks About Falling In Love

love letter...

After the girl left, only Li Fengran was left at the corner of the stairs, holding the thin letter paper under his fingertips, on which there was a faint citrus-scented perfume, fresh and elegant, with a bit of sweetness.

Do you want to give it?

This is not the first time that Li Fengran saw a little girl wanting to pass a love letter to He Yu. Before, He Yu told him not to fall in love early, so he took it for granted that He Yu would not fall in love early.

But now... not sure.

And, it's an eyesore.

They could freely tell him the feelings of the girl's heart, which made him wish to crumpled and shredded the letter, making it disappear without a trace, even as if it had never appeared.

But he ended up doing nothing.

Li Fengran heard footsteps in the stairwell and the voices of his classmates. He stuffed the love letter into his pocket and turned back to the classroom.

In the back row against the wall, He Yu lowered his head and was writing the test paper left after today's class, wanting to save the time for evening self-study to read his newly bought suspense story book.

A familiar breath came from beside him, He Yu tilted his head, Li Fengran sat next to him, looked at him with his hands on his cheeks, met his gaze, blinked, and showed a harmless smile with his lips curled up.

"What?" He Yu asked.

Li Fengran: "When will you finish writing?"

"I can't finish writing." He Yu said, "If you have anything to say, just say it."

"It's okay, I just want to chat with you casually." Li Fengran said.

He Yu: "..."

Do little boys' emotions change so quickly?

Obviously, he just walked all the way back, and his face was still a little unhappy, and when he came back from going to the toilet, it seemed that nothing had happened.

This reminded He Yu of an incident in junior high school, when Li Fengran jokingly took away the love letter given to him by others, his tone was a bit serious, Li Fengran also seemed to have other emotions, and it was the same later on, He Yu wanted to be with him Let's talk, he's just whitewashing it like nothing happened.

He Yu's pen twirled a few times between the index finger and middle finger, and turned his head to look at him, "Say what?"

"Aren't you curious?" Li Fengran said, "I received the love letter."

"Curious what?"

"Who wrote it, what did it write, what did I think about it?" Li Fengran asked him tentatively, with a smile on his face.

"I saw it." He Yu was referring to the scene where the girl handed him a love letter, "And you said it, you refused."

He was silent for two seconds and asked, "So you were upset just now—is it because of this?"

If it is said that his "not curious" towards Li Fengran can be categorized as not caring about him, it makes sense that Li Fengran's sensitive nerves would be unhappy, most of the time, Li Fengran always likes and needs his attention.

He Yu sums it up as a lack of love.

Li Fengran and his mother have been dependent on each other since childhood, but the relationship between mother and son is not the kind of relationship of close connection and unconditional trust, but a sense of alienation and distance in it.

Li Fengran's mother cares about him, there is no doubt about it, but this concern is a bit distorted. She usually ignores Li Fengran, but she never lacks food and clothing, and occasionally reveals the warmth that belongs to the role of "mother" .

And Li Fengran, being his mother's good child, has excellent grades and never makes her worry too much, but at the same time, he doesn't rely on her, but relies more on He Yu. He likes to ask He Yu's opinions on many things.

He likes to get He Yu's attention, and He Yu can feel it, but he has not realized for the time being that this kind of thinking of "getting attention" has gradually become pathological.

Because they have been together for too long, it is natural for them to get used to it. He Yu and Li Fengran have always been in this way of getting along with each other. They are used to taking care of him and protecting him.

Li Fengran wants to get his attention, and he is also responding to his appeal, giving him enough attention, day after day, year after year, He Yu feels that this is the normal way of getting along between them.

Li Fengran didn't deny his question, nor did he admit it, instead he asked him: "What about you? Has anyone ever written you a love letter?"

He Yu looked at him.

Li Fengran was lying on the table, with his head tilted, half of his face was exposed, a few rays of sunlight outside the window shone on his porcelain-white cheeks, making his face look too soft and fragile, and the eyelashes seemed to be shining with golden light .

"I'm curious," he said.

He Yu: "Confiscated."

That means someone delivered it.

Li Fengran: "Why?"

"If you don't like it, don't give others hope." He Yu said, sometimes being too gentle is also a kind of cruelty.

"Do you want to fall in love?" Li Fengran asked.

He Yu quickly refused: "I don't want to."

Li Fengran got an affirmative answer, squinted his eyes and smiled, just like a cute cat when it is acting like a baby, he took out a letter from his pocket and put it on the table, "Someone just asked me to give it to you."

He Yu frowned: "Don't do this kind of thing again."

Li Fengran paused with his fingertips: "What's the matter?"

He Yu: "Letter, don't accept it for me."

Li Fengran: "Ah...but she begged me, and I can't help it."

"Can you learn to refuse?" He Yu took the letter over without opening it, and put it under the book to press it.

"That's why I need you by my side." Li Fengran said it as a matter of course, and then seemed to have no intention of saying, "I will return the letter for you when school is over."

He Yu: "Yes."

"Aren't you going to take a look?" Li Fengran asked.

He Yu: "No need."

Li Fengran lowered his eyes, hiding the emotions in his eyes. The gloom that had arisen because of this love letter before dissipated one by one. He lay on his arms, curled the corners of his lips, and said that he wanted to sleep for a while.

Even if the person next to He Yu is not him, it will not be someone else for the time being.

But now, he and He Yu are the closest, but also the farthest.

Young people's liking is possession, and it is also a person's joy and sorrow.

At this age, I still don't know how to love someone, and I can do whatever I want.

Li Fengran wanted him to like him, but he also didn't want him to be a "pervert" in others' mouths, so he restrained himself while being presumptuous.

When school was over that day, He Yu watched from a distance as Li Fengran returned the love letter to the girl, but Li Fengran didn't let him go, saying that what he took was enough for him.

Summer just passed, the weather was cool, He Yu was standing under the tree, when the wind blew, the leaves rustled down, Li Fengran trotted over, and a fallen leaf fell on his shoulder.

"Let's go," he said.

He Yu reached out and picked the fallen leaves on his shoulders, "How did you tell her?"

The girl didn't look sad, she looked quite happy, and she smiled at Li Fengran when she left, it was a smile from the heart.

"Just...that's what I said." Li Fengran didn't say anything, but just told the girl that He Yu didn't want to fall in love, and if he needed help in the future, he could ask him, and he would treat her to milk tea another day.

"Really, you're pretty good at coaxing little girls." He Yu said.

"None of us can fall in love early." Li Fengran said, "It's an appointment."

He Yu: "...Why?"

"Shouldn't students put their studies first?" Li Fengran said, "You... have someone you like, so you can't hide it from me."

"What, you help me make a plan?" He Yu asked.

Li Fengran pursed his lips and gave a faint smile, lowered his eyes and kicked the stones on the ground, and said softly: "I don't want to, it's really troublesome to help chase people."

He Yu suddenly remembered that Li Fengran had said before that he had someone he liked, but he only mentioned that one time, and never said it again after that, "The person you like..."

"I'm hungry, let's go eat." Li Fengran said, "I want to eat noodles."

"……Um."

He Yu was interrupted and didn't ask any more questions.

There are quite a few girls who like He Yu, but the girls who actually take action are really a minority. Now that Li Fengran is around, unconsciously, the frequency of girls appearing around He Yu has been greatly reduced.

He Yu himself didn't notice it, or in other words, he didn't care about this change, so he didn't notice it, but he could feel that Li Fengran's popularity with women was exceptionally good.

People often send him love letters, which is probably related to his "never reject anyone who comes." Even when he refuses, he is gentle.

In this way, they went to and from school together, went home to do their homework, and the two of them became closer and closer. Sometimes when they returned home, Li Fengran's mother didn't come home at night, and he basically stayed at He Yu's house.

He Yu didn't know how the first war broke out between the mother and son during the Spring Festival during the winter vacation of the previous year. He Yu didn't know how it was eased.

But one thing will not change, they are family.

The word "family" is like a bond that connects them together.

Li Fengran was testing He Yu's tolerance for him step by step, gradually blurring the sense of boundary between the two.

Like a clever and cunning prey, it exposes its soft belly in front of the hunter, revealing its harmless and seductive side, trying to lure the hunter to take him home, give him careful care, and even—occupied this special, do not move Sensually drive away all outsiders.

One of the two indulged, and the other pushed forward, testing the bottom line.

In the first semester of the second year of high school, there were separate subjects in arts and sciences. He Yu and Li Fengran were still in the same class, and Jiang Fanlu was also in the same class. Everything progressed similarly to the original plot.

The weather is getting colder. In December, New Year's Day is approaching. The school organizes a chorus program. The class selects songs and starts practicing songs every day. In the music class, the loud chorus sound leaks out of the window.

Jiang Fanlu is the representative of the music class, and He Yu is the class monitor. Because of the discussion arranged by the chorus organization, the communication between the two has increased.

Halfway through the music class, it was raining on a gloomy day outside the window.

"He Yu." Li Fengran lowered his voice, "Will you go out to eat later?"

"No." He Yu lowered his head and fiddled with his phone, "I'll have something to do later, you go eat first."

"What's the matter? You haven't eaten with me these days." Li Fengran said, his tone sounded like a poor little white flower who was abandoned by a scumbag.

He Yu raised his eyes and glanced at him, "Little brats only need to be accompanied when they eat."

Li Fengran pursed his lower lip, leaned over to look at He Yu's phone screen, "Who are you chatting with?"

Then he saw the above page.

On the Penguin shared by the two, there was a new person who had been in frequent contact recently. The profile picture was a cartoon picture with the words "Jiang Fanlu, class 182" written on it.

He Yu didn't use his mobile phone very much before, let alone secretly replying to messages in class.

Jiang Fanlu asked He Yu the type of clothes for the choir in class. The head teacher asked them to choose by themselves, and after they had chosen, they agreed on the style and submitted the style. Jiang Fanlu couldn't make up his mind, so he came to ask He Yu.

"The first one." Li Fengran said, "White shirts look good."

He Yu: "Cold."

Li Fengran: "It's pretty."

Li Fengran's choice is similar to Jiang Fanlu's aesthetics.

"She said the same thing." He Yu said.

Li Fengran: "..."

The teacher came from behind, and He Yu caught a glimpse of it, put the phone in his pocket, Li Fengran tacitly understood, and also received the message from He Yu, took his hand, spread his palm, fiddled with his fingers, and gave it logically He said palmistry.

Fingertips slid across the palm, causing itching.

This kind of unconscious contact is always able to stir people's heartstrings.

He Yu's eyes fell on his index finger, the nails were trimmed and rounded, and the nail cap had a crescent shape, and he held his finger.

Li Fengran was taken aback.

"What are you doing? Fortune-telling." The teacher stopped at the table for two, "Come on, do the math for me."

The class roared with laughter.

Li Fengran also pursed his lips and smiled.

As if waking up from a dream, He Yu let go of Li Fengran's fingers and put his hands in his pocket.

Lately, I've been a little distracted.

Is it too cold?

The touch left by the slightly cool fingertips on his palm was still there, and he closed his palms guiltily.

When He Yu didn't want people to see his emotions, his appearance was calm and flat, with no expression on his face, and he looked the same as usual.

get out of class was over, and the rain was still falling outside the window. The classmates walked out of the classroom in twos and threes. He Yu didn't bring an umbrella. He arranged the books and piled them on the table, got up and prepared to go out.

Li Fengran touched the umbrella in the drawer and opened his mouth.

"He Yu." Jiang Fanlu called back from the front.

Li Fengran: "..."

What a hindrance.

"Huh?" He Yu tilted his head.

Under the instigation of her best friend, Jiang Fanlu walked towards He Yu with an umbrella, "Let's go together, I have an umbrella, and... thank you for helping me before..."

The second half of her sentence was very soft, and she could only hear it when she was close.

Regarding this "before", the two should have been silent, so He Yu took the initiative to filter out that sentence.

Li Fengran's eyes darkened.

Before?Before he knew it, He Yu provoked girls again?

This person always unconsciously gives people a chance to get close, Li Fengran gritted his teeth, his cheeks twitched, and after a while, he returned to normal.

He Yu lowered his eyes, and his eyes fell on the lace-trimmed umbrella in her hand, "Li Fengran probably didn't bring an umbrella either."

He tilted his head and looked back.

Li Fengran took the book and pressed the umbrella in the drawer, and said with a smile: "That's right, I didn't bring an umbrella either."

lie.

He Yu: "You go with her."

"Where are you going?" Li Fengran asked.

He Yu: "Office, my mother is here."

"Oh, then I won't leave, I'll wait for you." Li Fengran shook the stool, "Maybe Auntie brought something delicious."

"Don't shake it, it will fall later." He Yu said.

"Oh."

He stopped obediently, resting his elbows on the table, resting his chin on both hands, and tilted his head to show a bright and obedient smile. The smile was like a large golden retriever dog, and there seemed to be dazzling brilliance behind him.

What bad thoughts can a good dog have?

The eyes of Jiang Fanlu who was left on the sidelines dimmed a little, and she glanced at Li Fengran who was on the side, "Is that so...then I'll go first."

I always feel that he is very hostile to her.

Although he didn't show the slightest bit, a woman's sixth sense is often very accurate.

He Yu glanced at Jiang Fanlu, she looked at Li Fengran with a look of disappointment, in fact, if Jiang Fanlu wanted to make friends with Li Fengran, she shouldn't rely on him.

After all, he is the one who doesn't want her to have too good a relationship with him.

……

Empty classrooms, rain beating on the windows.

"Sweet and sour pork ribs, and some small cakes, didn't you eat well? You've lost weight." He Mu held the box and looked at his face.

"Not thin, but taller." He Yu broke away from He Mu's minions, "What's the matter with you here?"

"Can't I come to see you if I have nothing to do?" Mother He said that they studied hard and had to combine work and rest, and pulled Li Fengran aside to let him try her craft.

Li Fengran picked up a piece of pork ribs with chopsticks and handed it to He Yu's lips first, with one hand still holding it underneath.

He Yu opened his mouth and bit down on the rib, his cheeks puffed up.

"How is it?" Mother He asked.

He Yu: "Well, it's delicious."

Li Fengran also ate a piece, and said "delicious".

Mother He smiled and waited for them to finish eating before she took her things and prepared to leave. He Yu and Li Fengran went to see her off. The rain outside had not stopped, and Li Fengran was a bit hesitant.

"Umbrella." He Yu turned his head, "Don't forget to take it."

Li Fengran was stunned, and suddenly understood everything.

He took out the umbrella from the drawer, and the two of them took He mother to the school gate together under one umbrella. On the way back, there was no third person, and the atmosphere between the two was a little strangely silent.

He Yu knew that he had brought an umbrella, but he deliberately told Jiang Fanlu that he didn't have one, why?

Did he see something, or... misunderstood something.

Li Fengran is very sensitive in getting along with people, perhaps because of his childhood family background experience, he knows how to read people's faces.

He didn't explain anything.

Misunderstandings... that's okay too.

He Yu knew the reason for Li Fengran's silence, so he didn't expose it. He waited for him to digest it quietly, and then returned to normal, talking and laughing with him.

There is another reason why He Yu communicated a lot with Jiang Fanlu recently - the plot started to progress.

Jiang Fanlu's suitors harassed her intermittently, and He Yu met her once - that happened less than a week ago.

That evening, in the dark grove of the school, the girl was surrounded by several boys, crying pear blossoms with rain, looking at him with hazy eyes, asking for help, but afraid of hurting him, she dared not call his name.

He Yu had just finished playing that day, trying to take the path for convenience, and happened to bump into that scene.He didn't like the way those people spoke, and he happened to be the type who didn't speak very nicely, so he did it.

Later Li Fengran asked how he got the injury on his hand, and He Yu blurted it out by saying "I hit it".

People have different ways of thinking in some aspects. When some people see themselves in a mess, even if the other person reaches out to help, they just want to never see that person again for the rest of their lives, while another type of people will have feelings for that person. Rely on, feel that the other party is reliable.

Jiang Fanlu is the latter.

This week has been a rainy one.

During lunch break on Friday, just as the bell rang for the end of get out of class, He Yu received a message from Jiang Fanlu saying that he wanted to "chat" with him, so he looked up to the front.

Sitting in the third row, Jiang Fanlu turned her head to meet his gaze, then quickly turned her head back.

"The cafeteria has beans tonight, I don't want to eat them, let's go outside to eat—"

"Li Fengran." He Yu interrupted him.

Li Fengran: "Ah."

"You go first, I have something to do." He Yu said.

Sooner or later, we need to have a good discussion on this matter, he doesn't want Jiang Fanlu to treat him as a "savior", and He Yu is not interested in being someone's hero.

"Anything else?" Li Fengran frowned slightly.

He Yu: "Well, soon."

"Then I'll wait for you." Li Fengran said, "Where are you going?"

"Don't wait, eat by yourself." He Yu pressed Li Fengran's head with his hand, and walked aside.

Li Fengran reached out and grabbed his wrist, He Yu turned his head, Li Fengran raised his chin, "Can't you tell me?"

"Friends can also have secrets." He Yu lowered his eyes, "Don't you also have something to hide from me?"

At those moments when Li Fengran's emotions changed, what was he thinking?Li Fengran never said that what He Yu saw was only what he wanted him to see.

Occasionally, he also felt that there was a long distance between the two of them.

he does not like.

Li Fengran's heart skipped a beat, his rhythm was out of order, and there was a moment of panic in his eyes, "I..."

His secret is something that he has been difficult to tell since junior high school, something that cannot be said.

"Go eat first, don't wait for me." He Yu restrained the sharpness that was revealed at that moment.

Li Fengran: "..."

He let go of his hand and watched He Yu leave.

Not long after He Yu left, Jiang Fanlu also left the classroom alone.

Li Fengran lowered his head, the broken hair at the corner of his forehead covered his eyebrows, cast a shadow, and after a while, he lay on the table, looking sideways at He Yu's position.

"He Yu..."

The school rooftop was empty.

The door opened, and He Yu came out from behind the door, leaning against the roof and blowing the wind, the wind was wrapped in coldness, his long and narrow eyes casually swept downstairs.

Was it a little too much to say to him?

It seemed that he had never said such words to him in such a tone before.

But every time I see him, I suppress my emotions as if nothing had happened... I really care.

The roof door was pushed open again, and Jiang Fanlu walked out.

"He Yu." She fiddled with her wind-torn hair.

He Yu came back to his senses, his eyes returned to indifference, and he turned to face her.

……

all gone.

Li Fengran stood up and took out his cell phone from his pocket.

Wanna see?

If he boarded the account, he would be able to see the message records.

He hesitated, but put the phone back in his pocket.

He Yu would be unhappy if he found out.

Forget it.

He stuffed his phone back into his pocket and walked out of the classroom.

……

"If you ask me to come up, you want me to help you. I can't help you." He Yu said, "You should tell the teacher about this, tell your parents, not me."

Jiang Fan showed his face blushing, and lowered his head, "I... don't want you to help me, no, nothing, actually..."

She licked her lips, a little nervous, "I just want to ask, what do you think of me?"

"You?" He Yu's eyes fell on her, "It's pretty good."

"Just... gone?"

"Do you need anything else?"

Jiang Fanlu asked why he helped her last time, He Yu put his hands on his neck and thought for a while, "They are a bit noisy."

Jiang Fanlu: "..."

Totally unexpected reason.

"If it's okay, then I'll go first." He Yu's thoughts began to flow.

Did Li Fengran go to the cafeteria?

Give him a call later.

"Yes, there is something to do!" Jiang Fanlu shouted.

"What's the matter?" He Yu turned his head.

Facing He Yu's eyes, Jiang Fanlu let out the courage he had just summoned up, and his hands and feet went weak.

He Yu looked at the girlishness in her eyes, thought for a while, and said, "If you want me to help you confess to Li Fengran, then forget it."

"Ah...ah?" Jiang Fanlu was confused, why did she confess to Li Fengran?

……

When He Yu returned to the classroom, Li Fengran was on the corridor, looking down from the balcony of the corridor, and turned his head to see He Yu and Jiang Fanlu walking one after the other.

Jiang Fanlu's expression at the back was a bit strange and complicated, as if he was confused.

He Yu in front was nothing unusual.

He Yu: "Have you gone to eat yet?"

"Wait for you." Li Fengran said.

"I'll go in and get my meal card." He Yu said.

Li Fengran: "Yes."

He Yu went straight into the classroom, Li Fengran had a slight smile on his lips.

Jiang Fanlu felt Li Fengran's gaze, raised her eyes to meet his gaze, Li Fengran smiled friendly: "Can I ask what you asked He Yu to do?"

It was Li Fengran's speculation that Jiang Fanlu asked He Yu, but Jiang Fanlu did not deny it, which verified his speculation.

"Nothing." Jiang Fanlu said.

Indeed nothing was done.

"Ah... really?" Li Fengran tilted his head and smiled harmlessly.

Jiang Fanlu didn't like him very much, and was about to enter the classroom sideways. Li Fengran leaned on the wall with his shoulders, and without the audience, his smile disappeared.

Do you like He Yu?

"Can not be done……"

He Yu is a little special to her.

"How long do I have to wait..."

He murmured softly.

How long will it take to confirm He Yu's intentions? He Yu is not interested in girls, nor is he particularly interested in boys.

The better He Yu treats him, the more special he is, the more muddled he is.

He's been a little irritable lately.

!