The Two Hundred and Eighty Pound Fat Girl and Her Five Husbands

Chapter 81: Kung Fu No



Chapter 81

"Little Fatty, I don't know how to take care of others. If you are really worried about Gu Shan and the others, why don't you go take care of them yourself?"

"Because Granny here is a Purple Star sent down from heaven. My responsibility is that I must save the people from fire and water. If I leave, all those people out there who have contracted the plague will die miserably."

"A Purple Star sent down from heaven!"

Murong Hai looked at Lin Zaozao and the corners of his mouth curled up as he chuckled lightly.

"Little Fatty, do you know what the Purple Star represents?"

Murong Hai's words left Lin Zaozao stunned for a moment. How silly of her, her mouth had run faster than her brain.

The Purple Star represented the emperor in ancient times. By saying that, if someone with ulterior motives heard it, she could be sentenced to death.

Thinking of this, Lin Zaozao immediately covered her mouth with her hand and made a "zipping" motion to Murong Hai.

"Don't say anything reckless. If someone else hears that, my head will roll."

Lin Zaozao pouted and was about to turn around to push Gu Shan's wheelchair when she was stopped by Murong Hai.

"Lin Zaozao, do you want to sit in that supreme position of power?"

"What? The supreme position of power?"

Lin Zaozao thought for a moment before glaring at him with wide eyes. She looked left and right to make sure no one else was around before stomping on Murong Hai's foot.

"Murong Hai, zip it! I don't care about your past identity, but before you regain the ability to protect yourself, you'd better keep a low profile and not do things beyond your capability. Understand?"

"Hahaha..."

Hearing Lin Zaozao's words, Murong Hai just laughed like a madman. Hearing his laughter, Lin Zaozao felt a chill run down her spine.

Could Murong Hai have gone mad! It was just a casual sentence, what was so funny about it!

Before Murong Hai was done with his bout of madness, Ye Yi and Ruo Qiu walked up to her. Ye Yi carefully gestured with his hands as Ruo Qiu looked at his hands and spoke seriously.

"Lin Zaozao, Ye Yi is asking me to ask if you like standing at the pinnacle of power?"

"No, I don't like it."

"Why not?"

"I, Lin Zaozao, am a simpleton. I like to eat, drink and be merry. If I can sit instead of stand, lie down instead of sit, that's the kind of person I am. I don't want to stand at any pinnacle of power.

Because being in that position, I would not only lose personal freedom, but also, without exceptional ability, that supreme position would only bring me an early death. I, Lin Zaozao, cherish my life and want to live long and prosper."

As soon as Lin Zaozao finished speaking, her head was struck by Ji Fantian's palm.

"Little hussy, small as you are yet full of lust!"

"Oh come on, stop saying nonsense. Gentlemen! There is a plague going on outside! Can you hurry up and escape for your lives?" Lin Zaozao rubbed her head and roared weakly.

"We're not going anywhere. If we leave, we leave together." Gu Shan said coldly.

"My darling Gu Shan! This isn't child's play! If you get infected with the plague, you will die a horrible death. Please, go take shelter next door, okay?"

"I'm not going. We either stay or leave together."

Having said that, Gu Shan turned his wheelchair around and headed towards his room.

"Little Fatty, I won't leave either. If we really have to die, I will muster my dying breath and bury our corpses in the same pit." Ruo Qiu said with a smile.

"What Ruo Qiu said makes sense." Ji Fantian agreed.

"Little Fatty, I, Murong Hai, crawled out of a pile of dead bodies. Life and death is mundane to me.

I, Murong Hai, am an upright man who would never allow himself to cower behind a little girl like a useless weakling and let her protect me."

"Murong Hai, don't you dislike me?" Lin Zaozao murmured.

"Little Fatty, I don't dislike you. I avoid contact with you because I'm not worthy."

"Murong Hai, you..."

Before Lin Zaozao could finish expressing her surprise, Ye Yi walked up to her and stroked her head like one would a puppy. He then turned around and headed towards his room.

With Ye Yi's departure, Xiao Taohua, Ji Fantian and the others also silently returned to their rooms. Even the two little brats Lin Wuwu and Lin Wanwan followed Ye Yi back.

Looking at the empty yard, Lin Zaozao felt her head going bald from anxiety.

It was just to have them take shelter for a few months! Why make things so difficult!

Just as Lin Zaozao was holding her head in distress, the towering figure appearing at her gate made her body shudder violently.

"Little Fatty, I've brought you pig heads and trotters."

Hearing Dashan's gentle voice, Lin Zaozao hurried to the gate.

"Dashan, please come in."

"Alright, alright."

Dashan smiled gently at Lin Zaozao before walking in carrying the pig trotters.

When he put the pig heads and trotters on the table, Lin Zaozao stared wide-eyed at the huge pig head in shock.

Could wild boar heads be that big? A head that size must belong to a wild boar weighing at least 500-600 catties!

Looking at the two cleanly processed pig trotters, Lin Zaozao couldn't help swallowing.

Such big trotters! They must taste great when cooked.

"Dashan, didn't you lose money selling such a big pig head and two trotters for just one or two silver coins?"

"No loss for me. I go up the mountain every day. Sometimes when I can't sell these things, they would spoil. Since someone wants to buy them now, it saves me the trouble of throwing them away."

Having said that, Dashan smiled gently at Lin Zaozao and prepared to leave.

"Wait wait!"

Lin Zaozao quickly blocked Dashan's path and looked up at him, "Dashan, there is a plague going around outside now. When you get back, tell Uncle Zhang that both of you should stay put for the time being."

"A plague?"

Dashan's eyes flashed. He lowered his head to look at Lin Zaozao blocking his path. After thinking for a bit, he lifted Lin Zaozao up to his eye level with one hand and stared into her eyes as he spoke seriously.

"Little Fatty, who told you there is a plague going around outside?"

"The, the village chief."

Clutching Dashan's wrist, Lin Zaozao swallowed hard and answered somewhat nervously.

Damn! Dashan was already tall and burly to begin with. Now holding her up like a little chick, she truly felt like a dwarf standing before a giant.

Just as Lin Zaozao was clutching Dashan's wrist, paddling her feet in midair, her body suddenly went weightless. In the blink of an eye, she found herself being held in someone's embrace - it was Murong Hai's.

He had pulled Lin Zaozao behind himself, glaring coldly with guarded eyes at the giant Dashan.

But before Murong Hai could interrogate him, Dashan clapped both hands together. He bent down, glanced at Lin Zaozao and said solemnly,

"Little Fatty, something urgent has come up and I need to rush back first. Remember, no matter who looks for you recently, don't step out of Falling Water Village. Wait for me, I'll be right back."

Without even waiting for Lin Zaozao's response, Dashan strode over the fence of her yard with one big step, then sprinted swiftly in the direction he came from.

Not until Dashan had left did Lin Zaozao regain her composure. When she turned around, she met Murong Hai's questioning gaze.

"Little Fatty, do you know that hunter?"

"I just met him this morning. I got him to sell me some game and only exchanged a few words."

Staring at Dashan's disappearing figure, then at the huge wild boar head on the table, Lin Zaozao spoke in a somewhat distracted tone.

Murong Hai looked at Lin Zaozao's confused face, and thought for a moment before saying seriously:

"Little Fatty, I feel that hunter from earlier is not simple."

"Of course he's not simple! Murong Hai, look at him, he's built like a small mountain. He could pick me up with one hand. How could someone like that be simple?"

After speaking, Lin Zaozao turned and walked to the dining table. She slapped the giant pig head on the table, and stuck her fingers straight into the pig's nostrils.

A moment later, Lin Zaozao looked at her clean fingers. Phew! Luckily no pig snot.

But with such a huge pig head, how should she cook it? Nevermind, she'll deal with the pig head later. For now, she should deal with her few husbands' heads first!

That way their precious heads won't be taken by the plague.

Lin Zaozao turned back around, ready to educate her few husbands with some more "love". But at that moment, they simultaneously opened the door and stared at her fixedly.

"Gentlemen, why are you looking at me like that? To be honest, I'm a coward, I'm scared."

"Little Fatty, what if you catch the plague after we leave?" Xiao Taohua stared into Lin Zaozao's eyes and asked seriously.

"I have great fortune and health, I won't die. Xiao Taohua, although I don't know your identity, we have crossed paths after all.

Whether we know each other or not, I, Lin Zaozao, don't wish for you to die in this plague. So I still hope that you can move with Gu Shan and the others to the new mansion next door.

Or if you have a better place to go, that's fine too."

"Lin Zaozao, I can move over. But before I do, I hope you can promise me one thing."

"What is it?"

Lin Zaozao looked at Xiao Taohua in confusion as he walked up to her.

"I hope that before I move over, you and I can truly worship the heaven and earth, and become real spouses."

"What?"

Lin Zaozao grabbed Xiao Taohua's arm and stared intensely into his eyes, hoping to see a glint of joking in them.

But no matter how much she looked, all she saw in Xiao Taohua's eyes were seriousness and determination.

"Xiao Taohua, look at me now. I'm so fat, firstly I have no money, secondly no power, and I'm not even pretty-looking. But you! You're so handsome, what do you see in me? Tell me so I can change if needed!"

"Little Fatty, do you even know how to speak properly? After hearing my words, shouldn't you be moved to tears, agree to worship the heaven and earth with me, then share an emotional farewell embrace?"

Hearing the anger in Xiao Taohua's voice, Lin Zaozao stuck out her neck and subconsciously took a step back.

"Xiao Taohua, I truly cannot be moved! You say you're good-looking, but your martial arts is not good!"

"Not good at martial arts?"

Xiao Taohua repeated absentmindedly. He believed his martial arts, though not as great as Gu Shan's and Murong Hai's, was still first-class in the jianghu.

How could it be so despised by this little fat ball named Lin Zaozao?

"Xiao Taohua, three seconds is way too short for my taste!"

Lin Zaozao's words quickly turned Xiao Taohua's face red. He glared at Lin Zaozao, threw an arm around her shoulders, and pulled her down to kneel on the ground with him. "Little Fatty, worship the heaven and earth with me right now. If you dare resist, I'll strangle you this instant."


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