The Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer

Morning came to the sound of songbirds.

Washed clean of a lich’s veil, I looked up and winced as sunlight poured around me. 

Outside the stables of a roadside inn, wisps of golden light shone between the leaves of a weathered cedar tree to paint my kingdom in a dazzling array of springtime. 

A sight which could never dull. The pitter-patter of rain overnight left fronds of wild grass shimmering like the surface of a pond. As they dipped and swayed to the scent of pollen and dew, so too did the butterflies and rabbits dancing amidst the primroses.

There was just one problem.

I could barely see it.

My eyes were so bleary that the butterflies and rabbits were a single blur. A bizarre amalgamation of fluffy wings, antennae ears and insect eyes. Yet that wasn’t the strangest sight here.

No … that would be Coppelia happily patting Apple’s mane.

Normally fierce rivals for my attention and sometimes my food, my loyal handmaiden was cheerfully greeting Apple as though he had never once beaten her to a fresh daisy. 

“Okay! Got your stuff? It’s a long walk from here to Ouzelia. Say ‘neigh’ if you’re ready and ‘nay’ if you’re not. Either way, it’s off we go~”

Apple snorted in answer.

Yes … this was highly strange. 

Not least of which were Coppelia’s words. 

Why, they almost suggested the vivid, terrible, alarming nightmare I had last night was true …

Naturally, that couldn’t possibly be true … right?

“Coppelia.”

“Yes?”

I gave a gentle cough.

“Ahem … by any chance, did I agree to the somewhat horrific notion of visiting Ouzelia?”

“You sure did!” 

I nodded.

And then–I placed my face in my palms.

O-Ouzelia!

I had agreed to accompany Coppelia to Ouzelia!

This … This was awful?!

It wasn’t a nightmare at all! It was real! 

Why, just a few short hours ago, I’d made the public declaration that I’d help rescue her library curator! And now I’d woken up and had to do it! 

T-This was absurd! I was a princess! … Since when did my decisions have consequences?!

“I’ve got good news about that~” said Coppelia, who was about to say only bad news. “The horse blew air out of his nose. That means he’s ready to go! When do you want to set off?”

I was aghast.

“C-Coppelia, I cannot possibly head off to Ouzelia on Apple!”

“Oh, do you finally want a newer and shinier horse? Because I can get that for you!”

Apple snorted in response. 

Unnecessary, of course. He had the least to fear.

“A new and shinier horse? … Why, you would need to find me a hundred new and shinier horses! We currently lack the most important thing for an extensive journey across the continent!”

“... Hazelnut croissants?”

I shook my head with utmost seriousness, then began counting down with my fingers. 

“Even more than that … we lack two dozen carriages, a complement of knights, a primary and reserve choir, more dignitaries than we have time to accommodate so as to incite petty rivalries. We also miss a legion of paupers, merchants, minstrels harassing our every step, to say nothing of the weeping farmers whose lands we trample through … we are missing every component of a royal entourage!”

Indeed, no matter where I looked, we were woefully unprepared!

To visit a foreign nation was one thing … but to do so via a string of others without taking the opportunity to bankrupt each and every one as they hosted our lavish needs was quite another!

“Eeehh … that seems like a lot of fuss.”

“No, it is an inconceivable amount of fuss. That is the point of it. To sit back and watch as our foreign rivals are forced to bribe their peasants into pretending to know who we are is our diplomatic right. To forego that is an inexcusable waste!”

“Don’t worry, there’s always next time, right? You can just go incognito.”

I shook my head at once.

Sadly, it was not so simple to hide from foreign monarchy as it was my peasantry. If it was, I wouldn’t need to cleverly hide myself during state banquets by feigning I was a mannequin staring unblinkingly at the same melting sorbet all evening.

“Were it only so simple. But the world is dangerous. Even more so for princesses.”

“... Is this a dragon thing?”

“A dragon thing would be far easier to handle. They at least have manners. Sadly, princes do not. Why, I wouldn’t be able to step past the border of my realm before one sniffs me out for my hand, offering me a smile instead of at least their inheritance. That is a faux pas I lack the will to repeatedly deal with.” 

Coppelia wore a look of mild grief. I nodded at her empathy.

“In that case, I have an idea!” she said with a clap of her hands. “One that doesn’t involve weird princes sniffing you out, despite the fact most are definitely human and can’t actually do that.”

“Excellent. What do you propose?”

“Before I tell you, you have to say yes.”

Hmm.

How curious. She hadn’t even made her opening pitch and I was already inclined to furiously shake my head. Not even the merchants at our gates accomplished that.

“Really now, I cannot say yes to something I haven’t even heard. But there’s little need to fear. I’m open to all suggestions which result in no inconvenience, cost or responsibility to me. Is it these things?”

Coppelia blinked.

“... Yes,” she said, slowly and deliberately. 

I raised an eyebrow.

“Truly … ?”

“Truly.” She paused. “It’s also perfectly safe.”

“Excuse me! Why is safety the thing first that you try to convince me of?!”

“Because I follow all rules and regulations regarding the use of mysterious magical unexplained things which probably shouldn’t be allowed and I officially do not possess.”

Paying no attention to my ready look of horror, Coppelia went straight to Plan F.

She parted her hands.

And there came again a terrifying stretch of the abyss. 

A thing which remained chronically unexplained. An ominous window of darkness, matched only in its nefarious appearance by its sinister aura. As she stretched it like wet clay, the sunlight seemed to evade it entirely, yet still it shimmered like the coat of some blackened monster being stirred awake.

“You can use this,” she said optimistically. “It leads directly to the library. Ta-da! All problems solved~”

I stared at the black window.

And then–

“Oho …”

Coppelia groaned.

“Wait. I’ve changed my mind. You don’t need to–”

“Ohhoho … ohhohohho … ohhohhohohhho!!”

Unable to stop the dam once cracked, my mirth spilled out like cream from a squished mille-feuille. 

My melodic laughter filled the air, sending butterflies and rabbits alike scurrying to the nearby woods to inform their friends. They would all have time to enjoy it. 

Coppelia looked aggrieved as she waited for my laughter to end. It did. Eventually. After a few more coughs ending with both hands pressed against my stomach.

“Oho … ho … very … very well,” I said, wiping a tear from my eye. “Your jests have improved dramatically. I shall acknowledge that. Why, it almost sounded as if you asked me to squeeze through the sinister and unexplained window of malevolence you have here.”

Coppelia responded with a bright smile.

For a moment, her lips quivered as she fought against the wisdom of agreeing it was indeed a fine jest.

“I mean–”

“Absolutely not!” I threw my hands towards the … thing, my expression suitably appalled to match. “Are you seriously suggesting I leap into this floating box?”

“I can make it bigger! You wouldn’t need to leap … unless you want to?”

“No!”

“Okay, well, I’m just saying that this is the simplest and most efficient way to get to the library.”

“The simplest and most efficient way to ruin my public image, yes. I have no idea what this surface is made of. Some kind of magical ink? I will not have my first impression of myself in a foreign land be that of a princess covered by gunk. I may as well spill a casket of Cuvée des Rienne over myself beforehand!”

To my alarm, Coppelia merely looked galvanised by my response.

“Oh, is that the only issue?”

“It is one of many issues. The others are bottomless pits, falling pianos and insufferable heroes.”

“Well, I can’t help you with those. But I can with this. Look~”

Thus … she stuck her head through the black abyss.

I didn’t even have the will to groan. Especially as I was too busy leaning away … while perhaps also watching curiously to see what would happen.

The result–

“... See, perfectly fine!”

Coppelia pulled back, then offered me a cross-eyed smile.

My mouth widened. She quickly shook her head.

“R-Really now! That cannot possibly be healthy … nor a common mode of transportation!”

“No worries! Sure, it’s not really designed to accommodate people … in fact, it’s like trying to feed a carnivorous lamb with their least favourite intruder. They’ll accept it the first few times, and then just say no the next. But until then, we’re good! … I think!”

“This is not a lamb,” I said, pointing at the still nefarious black window. “In fact, I’ve no idea what it is.”

“The short answer is that it’s a dimensional window.” 

“I want the long answer.” 

“Oh. I don’t know what the long answer is. I only asked for the short answer.” 

I briefly scrunched up my eyes, taking solace in the far more comforting darkness that only came from the back of my eyelids.

“... But what I do know is that it functions as a portal. It’s a spell I’m borrowing while using myself as an anchor. Almost like a rune. It’s not as smooth as a normal dimensional passage, but it works! You saw it when the wyvern head went through and back. You can use it too!”

“Please, if I wanted to become lost in the abyss, I’d enter my shoe closet. This ominous thing seems highly unnecessary for the task.”

“It only looks ominous.” Coppelia leaned into the black window, then pushed just her mouth through it. “Bruuuburugugugu.”

Tiny bubbles floated outwards like the surface of a pond as she vibrated her lips.

I was horrified … that I almost wanted to try that as well.

I shook the intrusive thought away. 

Even so, it didn’t remove the very real issues I faced in travelling normally. I intended for my conversation with this missing curator to be both short and productive. And that included getting there.

Clearly a problem. 

Ouzelia was hundreds of leagues away. 

Given the weeks any journey would inevitably take, I’d even run the risk of missing the Summer Solstice Festival. That was inconceivable. It was the gala of the year and my family were its stars.

As a result … I swallowed a short breath.

It was all I needed.

Until I grew wings or Coppelia agreed to carry me, the most efficient option of flying across the continent wasn’t an option. That meant the path ahead of me was clear. Or as clear as a sinister blob.

Regardless, I was Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea! 

The only abyss worthy of concern was the empty vault of my treasury! I would gladly traverse any suspect magical portal to ensure it was filled … either by my hand, or those of my loyal retainers!

“... Very well!” I said with a nod. “I made a declaration, and I do not intend to renege on it … unless you’re open to bribery?”

“Nope~”

Ugh. 

Of all the times she had to gain a sense of ethics.

“In that case, to Ouzelia we go!”

“Yay~”

Coppelia joyfully widened the window of darkness.

Her figure leaned sidewards as she shaped it into a door. One that was now of little concern to me. For as I gazed into the inky surface, all I saw in reply were the travesties which waited beyond.

But that’s fine!

I could survive that! … And so could my loyal steed!

“Apple, be sure to follow.”

“Eehh, you want to bring the horse?!”

“I cannot leave him here. What is he going to eat? The inn? That is the only thing worse than the hay. Why, they’re so wilted and mottled they make the skin of noblewomen look as blemishless as mine.”

“You could just let him wander.”

“Apple has no wish to wander. He will follow me into any suspect darkness. Isn’t that right?”

He looked up, took one glance at the black abyss, then snorted in response.

I took that as a yes.

A moment later, a slightly wobbling door fully widened between Coppelia’s palms. I looked at it no differently than I did a 14 layer cake my parents had attempted to bribe my marriage considerations with.

“Okay!” she said, making things harder as she hopped excitedly on the spot. “Go ahead!”

I pursed my lips as I eyed the inky surface. 

It was all the hesitation I allowed. Because of all the things my role demanded of me, turning back was not one of them. … at least until Coppelia gave a sharp intake of breath.

“Oooh, oooh~ I almost forgot! There’s something about the big guy you should probably know about.”

“... Yes? What is it?”

“He’s a dragon.”

My face found my palms.

For a long moment, I simply stayed like that, stewing over every regret I hadn’t even experienced yet.

“Excuse me?” I said through my fingers. “He’s a what?”

“He’s a dragon.” Coppelia puffed out her cheeks, then blew out air while turning her face side to side. “Dragon. Breathes fire. Like that.”

A resounding impression. I almost mistook Coppelia herself for a dragon.

“... Why is the curator of your library a dragon?”

“He likes books.”

I waited for more. Nothing came. And so I nodded instead. 

It was, after all, an acceptable reason.

“I see … and how exactly does a fire breathing dragon come to be kidnapped?”

“Not a clue. Let’s find out!”

Coppelia gave her biggest smile yet. 

All I saw was darkness. One that had nothing to do with the inky abyss waiting for me.

Regardless, I nodded and stepped towards it.

… Very well, then!

It was time for a princess to rescue a dragon.