The Wheel Of Fate Is Turning

Oriente 6, Heaven

When I woke up, I was back in my room, lying on my bed. It was daylight, as I could see through the window. I was still bandaged from the wound in my stomach, but at least for the moment everything seemed calm. This time, there was no one holding my hand; instead, I saw Momo sitting at the table, eating an ice cream and watching me. She seemed to have a melancholy look on her face, wiping her eyes too often, but since she was a transplant, I couldn't tell if she was crying. When she spoke later, though, she seemed to be.

"Oh... I see you woke up..."
"Damn... Idiot... Dense..."
"......"
"......"
"The girl... the foxgirl you saved... She's waiting to talk to you in the nearby cabin," Momo tried to speak between sobs.

"???"
"What happened? Are you okay?"

"Yes... yes... I'm... Fine."
"....."
"Just... disappointed..."
"....."
"Not... in you... I think... You just... Just helped someone who wanted to be a good person."
"I can't... I can't be angry because you tried to do an act of charity..."
"......"
"It's... just that..."
"......."
"You know... I'm going to quit CSS altogether."
"I don't see how working with them helps my dreams at all, and on the contrary, they're damn demanding and selfish!"
"......"
"......"
"No... I don't feel... good."
"I think I'll go back to my parents and just give up."

"What happened, Momo?"
"You're not like this, has someone done something to you?"

"Leave me alone, I don't want to talk about it."
"Just... go..."
"The other girl wants to talk to you; it seems more urgent."
"Dense fool," the angel said as she grabbed her ice cream and left the room to go for a walk.

I got up from the bed and started to follow her, but as soon as I opened the door, I came face to face with Urakaze, who immediately stopped me to talk.

"Oh, Cesar, I see you've recovered; that's good," the hunter said, feigning kindness as she watched the angel walk away in the distance.

"I'm sorry, Urakaze, but I need to talk to Momo about something right now."
"And didn't you have a serious emergency to evacuate the whole hotel?"

"Uh, there was a last-minute change of plans."
"I'm sorry, but I need to talk to you; it's even more urgent."
"It's about the girl you brought here this morning."

"Yes? What happened? Is she okay?"

"Can you tell me exactly what you know about her?"
"Why did you go back to the forest and talk to Tamamo-no-mae again?"

Shit.

"What are you talking about? The blonde girl?"
"Haha... no, she... she."
"She's just a wounded girl I found in the forest, just a coincidence."

"Cesar, you know my job is still to be a demon hunter?"
"Every now and then, the Celestial Security Section calls me to hunt down some horrible monster or another."
"Monsters who lie and deceive to hide in the cities and homes of innocent people."
"So I have a lot of confidence in my hunting skills."
"Like my ability to detect lies," Urakaze said suspiciously, with a serious look on her face and gripping the hilt of her katana.

"What, you think you're scary?"
"Every beast you've hunted is nothing but a puppy compared to the inhuman plagues I've had to fight."
"Perhaps you want to see what's faster? If it's your sword or my ability to split you in two with just my hands."

I could see my eyes turn an intense crimson in the reflection of hers. Urakaze swallowed for a moment as a sign of her internal doubt, took a step back and let go of the sword in her hand, indicating her change of heart on the matter.

"I regret my choice of words and behavior, I believe they conveyed the wrong message."

"Yes, that's exactly what I thought, no one is foolish enough to talk trash about me in these places."
"You did well to admit your mistake, because a little more and your old rivalry with the evil goddess will be the least of your problems."

"Look, it was just force of habit, nothing more."
"Of course I don't want to be an enemy of Rafael's son or lose my hotel."
"....."
"What I really wanted to tell you is this. The 'blonde girl' you were talking about earlier wants to see you as soon as possible."
"I have orders from higher up to try to get you to talk to her right away, no matter what."
"Here, take this cake and deliver it to her."

"What exactly is going on?"

"......"
"It's hard to explain, I don't even fully understand what's going on in that girl's head."
"......"
"That girl..."
"....."
"The... guest..."
"....."
"What I mean is that....."
"...."
"Argh, look, I'll be honest with you, okay?"
"I made a mistake when I accepted the mission to hunt Tamamo-no-mae."
"Emperor Konoe paid a very large sum of money to anyone who could stop her."
"At that time, I was just a young, arrogant hunter, and I thought it would be an easy way to get money and fame."
"After all, I had only heard that it was about hunting a simple young kitsune, no one ever mentioned that she was actually a goddess."
"All I had to do was show up among the thousands of soldiers, pretend to command one of the cavalry regiments, and wait for Kazusa-no-suke and Miura-no-suke to arrive to kill her."
"Things went wrong and it turned into a fight for survival."
"....."
"It wasn't until long after my death and the girl's imprisonment in stone that I realized the truth."
"That Emperor Konoe lied and she was used to start a war."
"....."
"That girl, Tamamo-no-mae, has gone through a lot of pain in her joyless past."
"She is someone who desperately tries to be a good person in a world that constantly labels her as a villain and selfish."
"The poor thing has never seen a single person care about her, let alone defend her from anything."
"'That kitsune has lived her whole life alone....'"
"So it's natural that... well... For someone to suddenly appear and treat her like a princess...."
"....."
"Just try to treat her well, she's been through very bad things."
"Take care of her for me, okay?"

Urakaze turned and left, feeling ashamed of what she had just said to me. For my part, I was a little confused about what was going on and what the others were talking about. It seemed that the only way to really understand what this was all about was to talk to Tamamo-no-mae again, so I took a deep breath and went to talk to her.

As I approached the room, I knocked on the door for a moment and said hello. Shortly after, the door opened by itself and invited me in. Once inside, the first thing I saw was Tamamo-no-Mae waiting for me, her appearance much changed to reflect her true status. Her hair was much longer and blonder than before, as if seeing the rays of the sun. Her eyes were lighter and sparkling, as if illuminated, but without losing their beautiful blue. Her fox ears were high and proud this time, and her nine foxtails were arranged in a fan behind her, giving the impression that she was sitting on a throne of her own body. Her beautiful kimono was similar to the one I had seen in the temple, but now arranged in a more majestic manner, elegant clothes worthy of a goddess, with the beautiful celestial landscape moving through the night, of which the Lady of the Moon was the queen. She had a melancholy look on her face, even seemed slightly sad, which added to her charming beauty and undoubtedly reminded me of the powerful being she was. She was truly a goddess.

"So you finally came," she addressed me.

"I am so sorry.
"This is all my fault. "
"Because of my mistake, the battle against the monster ended with you being injured.
"Because of my impatience, someone else got hurt."

But the goddess didn't answer me. Instead, she just stared at me, her beautiful eyes seeming to search my soul without saying anything, as if she was impressed for some reason. The silence became awkward, but after a while, realizing that she had become blank, she continued to speak.

"Even though it was not really your fault, you come to apologize to the person you saved."
"A rare genuine act of kindness without asking for anything in return, truly hard to come by."
"....."
"Can you tell me exactly who you are?"
"What is it you really want from me, speak from the truth of your heart."

"Ah, well, I guess I owe you a good explanation, it seems fair after what I put you through."
"You may not believe me, but I swear it's the truth."
"......"
"My real name is Cesar."
"Currently, I'm a man who for some reason ended up in the body of this fox girl, or kitsune like you."
"My sister has been struggling with an illness since she was young, and I'm afraid that bad news about what happened to me could negatively affect her or my mother's life."
"That's why I want to return to Earth as soon as possible and talk to them to let them know I'm okay."
"The portal that would take me home is broken, and it seems the only way to fix it for now is to ask a goddess for help to give it the magical energy it needs to work."

"I think you have a bad head if you think they will let you out of heaven so easily," she said in a tone that emphasized contempt.

"The permission I already have was given to me by THE BOSS himself."
"The problem is just the portal, nothing more."

"'That's surprising, but it still contains a big flaw."
"I don't know if you already know my true past, but I am not a goddess that people consider good."
"After all, the title of Evil Goddess means something."
"In my time on Earth, I killed many people.
"Because of that, I was imprisoned and sealed in a stone for eternity."
"Now that I'm not in it, I'm nothing but a fugitive, and sooner or later the hunters will come for me and all those who helped me."
"Even for this conversation, you might be punished."
"It would be better for you to seek help from someone else than to get involved with me."

Her face, instead of showing the pride a deity should wear, was clearly filled with sadness and loneliness, ones I knew well after so much in my own life. She tried to hide it by looking out the window and avoiding direct eye contact with her fan. Meanwhile, I sensed that something was wrong with her, that her fate was wrongly marked, and that perhaps her words were nothing more than the cries for help of a soul already in despair; Urakaze's words still echoed fresh in my mind. Although she was an almighty goddess, I could still see that there was a hidden girl inside her that no one really understood, one that no one could see for fear of speaking to someone so important and powerful. The image of Tamamo-no-mae, sitting sadly on her tail throne, mirrored Nanami on her jade throne, also hoping to be treated like a normal person. I felt like I had to try to comfort her, to save her from her sorrows, even though I was still drowning in mine.

"You know, I don't really think you're the evil goddess everyone says you are," I said calmly.

"What... what are you talking about?" she replied in surprise, obviously not expecting me to answer it.

"When we first met, you didn't attack me.
"Instead, you talked to me and helped me out of the forest."
"And even when you did attack me, you were just defending yourself, and you even let me go instead of doing anything else."
"Now that you're here, free, and know that hunters will come for you, you're worried about me and ask me to stay away so that I won't be punished for helping you or knowing you."
"..."
"I think you've been misunderstood all along."
"That your good deeds have only been rewarded with injustice and accusations.
"Hunted for a crime you didn't commit."
"Struggling to survive every day."
"No one can endure such a life and remain sane, not even the most saintly."
"..."
"What I'm trying to say is..."
"What I mean is, please trust me."
"I won't let anyone hunt you or hurt you, let me give you a second chance."
"Maybe if I talk to the hunters, they'll finally see who you really are."

The goddess remained still as a statue, even her sad tone stopped abruptly. Then she began to cry for real, closing her eyes and putting her hand to her chest for a moment before speaking again.

"Wow, you are such a strange person."
"Not only did you let me escape from battle after realizing my weakness from being sealed for so long,"
"But the next day, you come and save me from a monster, only to later present yourself as responsible for something you weren't."
"Even though the angels would not have done that, even though they were responsible for the monster they sent. "
"But then, right after that, you come and manage to see right away what so many others have never truly seen."
"Despite my deceptions and transformations, you are able to see through me.
"But you go so far as to tell me that you want to know me as I really am, when so many others have rejected me, and then you go even further, saying that you'll stand between my hunters and me."
"That you'll protect me like the hero of a fairy tale."
"The hero of my story, who arrives a thousand years late because of my own impatience."
"But who is capable of making me feel safe, recognized, understood, loved for who I truly am."
"...."
"The bet I placed on myself for my future has been won."
"Despite all my wisdom and power as a goddess, I will only be able to fulfill my true dream with you by my side."
"How could I not fall in love with someone like you?
"Only someone like you is worthy of being my chosen one for the most sacred title I can ever offer."
"That of my husband."

"Wait, what?"

But right where Tamamo was, an explosion of smoke appeared, only to reveal that the same goddess had changed her attire once again, now wearing a colorless one with delicate whites, her kimono transformed into a shinzenshiki, a ceremonial kimono for marriage. This, combined with her already magnificent divinity, only raised her beauty to a new level that mortals could surely never dream of. With a smile and a hopeful look, she turned back to me.

"Oh, wait, if we're going to do this, we have to do it right!"

The goddess forcefully closed her metal fan and waved it around the rest of the room as if giving a celestial command. In an instant, I could see the room reshaping itself, the furniture disappearing, the space expanding, the style of a simple forest hut changing to a combination of a Japanese temple and elements of a Western church, like an altar. The transformation of the world before my eyes was shocking to witness, but perhaps even more surprising was how delicately the combination of the two styles was executed, making it seem as if the two cultures had always been together.

"What do you think, Darling?"
"I had heard before that you were western, so I thought maybe this would be the best style for our wedding!"

"WAIT A MINUTE!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Wedding? Whose!?"

But the door behind me suddenly opened to reveal a white angel, elegantly dressed in her military uniform, walking toward the back of the altar.

"Well, it's clear that it's between the moon goddess Tamamo-no-mae and you."

"Stella!?!
"What are you talking about?"
"What are you doing here!? Wasn't the portal terminal closed?"
"How did you get here so fast from the central district?"

"Oh, well, THE BOSS sent me here urgently with his magic!
"After all, it's a very important wedding, involving a goddess and a great ally like you."
"THE BOSS has sent me as his representative to perform the wedding."
"He looks upon this relationship very favorably, one that is very beneficial to you or your family, as well as to the goddess herself."

"Damn it, what the hell?"
"What about me? I just heard about it!"
"Marriage? I can't do that!"
"What about Nanami? What about her?"
"No, no, no!"

But then Tamamo turned to me, her face reflecting sadness and at the same time trying not to cry and ruin the atmosphere. After looking at me for a second and thinking about what she was going to say, she spoke.

"Are you really against this?"
"Despite everything you just told me?"
"Why don't you want to keep your word?"
"I know deep down you want this as much as I do."
"I've heard your story, I know the pain and loneliness you're going through."
"Please let me lighten your burden a little, just as you've done with mine."

"Wait, but what?"
"No, that's not what I mean."
"But do you really want to get married? Me?"
"We've only known each other two days!"
"You don't even know who I was before I became a girl!"
"I'm just an ordinary person, I'm not worthy to marry such a beautiful goddess as you!"

But instead, the Goddess of the Moon approached me, embraced me, and placed her face on my chest before beginning to speak.

"For a long time, ever since I was created as a part of Amateratsu herself, I have always been alone in my life."
"Born out of necessity, I came into existence with nothing, no personality of my own, no identity, no family, and no love."
"With time, after observing humans, I learned about the existence of love, how humans mentioned it and showed it to others in their lives."
"How they felt complete when they had someone to share their life with."
"I remember that that was the first lesson I learned in my life, my greatest desire and dream."
"Since that day and forever, I have wished from the bottom of my heart to have someone to call my beloved husband."
"But due to my lack of knowledge and impatience to find you, I made a great mistake by confusing what true love is with false illusions."
"When I was betrayed by the foolish person I trusted the most, I saw my greatest and most sacred dream shatter and die before my eyes without me being able to do anything."
"I was forced to bury my feelings and fight every day to survive."
"Seeing everyone chasing me to kill me, hearing their voices mentioning that I was not worthy of love or forgiveness."
"But my biggest sin against myself was believing that they were right."
"That simply being cursed to be born as a goddess made me someone who could never receive the love I dreamed of."
"During my persecution, this feeling became even stronger when I saw how fragile human life was compared to that of a superior being."
"But their persistence and tireless determination had no end, and in the end I was subdued and imprisoned in that stone due to the weakness and exhaustion of my physical body at that moment from trying to be human."
"And even under those circumstances, I still hoped in vain for some kindness from someone else."
"I thought that someone would appear in the crowd, a hero who would come to save me from my troubles and unjust persecution."
"But he never came."
"At the time, I didn't understand why, but because of my despair and suffering, I allowed those bad thoughts and anger to corrupt my soul."
"When I saw that the person I trusted the most at that time was the same one who had ordered me to be sealed for all eternity in the confines of that cursed stone."
"I had sworn that as a goddess, only loneliness and sadness were the only things I had the right to know."
"But after a thousand years of fighting tirelessly to weaken the seals, I managed to escape my prison."
"My original plan was to seek revenge for my injustice, but instead I found myself lost in a forest I did not know."
"So I thought it might be best just to stay hidden and live alone until the end."
"But it was only on the first day of my escape, on my return, that I met another person."
"Someone who walked lost in the forest, but without fear."
"At first I was surprised, but this person treated me with friendship and normality, as if I were just another person and not someone superior, such a feeling was new to me."
"And my reaction to such a demonstration of kindness was nothing more than to attack for fear of reliving my fears."
"Nevertheless, this person showed a little more kindness and proposed an agreement to forgive my actions."
"At the time, I accepted, thinking only of my selfishness to escape the harm I had caused."
"But in the brief moments we shared, she reminded me for a moment how joyful it felt to have company."
"The next day, the same person returned, and though frightened by her unexpected appearance, I was happy to have a little more of that company before returning to loneliness."
"Shortly after that, a monster attacked us, but that person did not abandon me.
"In fact, she went out of her way to help me and save me from a person she did not know and who only wanted to harm her."
"By the time you carried me on your back, I had already fully recovered from my wounds as a goddess, yet I could not raise my voice to tell you that I was fine.
"My selfishness had completely overtaken me, just to allow myself a few more moments to watch you struggle to help me unnecessarily."
"At that moment, I understood that the hero I had dreamed of and waited for so long was finally by my side."
"In the end, the hero had finally come."
"Although I was not satisfied with that, I thought I needed to know him a little more, despite the kindness I had already received from him."
"Talking to this person, I could finally discover the person before me, how there was a man who cared deeply for his family, for those he loved.
"The kind of person who had the kind of love I once dreamed of truly knowing."
"......"
"Right now, you may be a cute little girl, but even with that appearance, I can clearly see the capable, reliable, and loyal man inside of you."
"I could see that there is someone who never gives up, someone who takes responsibility for his actions and his failures."
"Yes, you are a girl now, but I do not care if I can be with the person I love."
"Yes, you are a girl, I will love you as a girl if you want me to."
"Yes, we only know each other for two days, nothing more."
"And only two days were enough for you to make this goddess fall completely in love with you."

Tamamo-no-mae concluded her speech by kneeling down, only to then prostrate herself and extend her arms towards me. With her delicate head touching the ground, she was performing a perfect demonstration of Japanese Dogeza, a symbol of reverence, deep apology, and the ultimate expression of desire. Tamamo was revealing her true feelings before me, explaining the reason for her remorseful love and how much she aspired to be by my side.

"Tamamo," I said to myself.

I was surprised by everything she just said; her words made me realize how much she wanted to be with me despite her situation or her divinity. She reminded me a lot of that special person I shared my worst days with. Like Nanami, Tamamo was looking for someone who would treat her not as a goddess or a superior being, but as a normal person. She wanted someone who would talk to her like one talks to a friend, a sibling or especially a lover; someone who knew her as Tamamo before knowing her as the goddess of the moon that she was. Someone she could trust and share the good and bad moments of her life with. Her loneliness reminded me so much of my dear Nanami and myself in that subway tunnel, in that moment of desperation when I just wanted to be with someone else, and like her, that redeeming moment was denied and crushed for me too. I was aware of how devastating loneliness and grief can be to break a person completely, and like Nanami, I discovered that the only way out of that dark void is with the help of someone else, something that wasn't easy to find in reality. One that I fell into after the death of my dear Nanami; I also thought that the path of loneliness was the only one that awaited me. But seeing Tamamo's determination, her desire to be with me despite everything, made me want to be a little selfish this time and say yes, maybe out of a vague desperation to save myself from my low self-esteem and self-hatred. Maybe Tamamo and I are not so different and maybe we both need each other's help to save ourselves. I hope that one day Nanami will forgive me.

"Is this really what you want?" I asked her.

"With all my heart, yes," she answered me.
"But what about you?"
"Do you accept this humble goddess who has fallen in love with you?"

I knew I had to be careful with what I said next, not wanting to ruin her dream, so I resigned myself and clarified what I thought.

"If it's okay with you, I'll also do my best to be your ideal husband despite who I am now."

"Thank you!!!"
"I love you!!!" she replied in a simple way while hugging and kissing me.

Stella, who was still near the table, took a bottle of ceremonial sake from a box and poured some into two small cups. Tamamo took one and served me the other, with a smile and still slightly teary eyes she invited me to drink from it. When I finished, Stella filled it up again, but this time Tamamo offered me her cup and then took mine so that we could both drink sake again. It seemed that in Japanese culture, this was the equivalent of exchanging rings.

"While the tradition of exchanging rings is important to people on Earth,"
"For now, the only thing I can offer the happy couple is this metal necklace.
"Moon Goddess Tamamo-no-mae, if you truly have such hope for the future of this relationship, I invite you to put it on of your own free will for the sake of your now husband."
" Although I hope you know the true purpose of this choker and its immense weight."

"'That choker? Isn't it too big and heavy?"
"It seems more like a chain," I asked as I looked at it.

"Good is because it is"
"This is a collar imbued with a powerful enslavement spell."
"Whoever wears this chain will never be able to remove it, leaving the wearer as a mere object, subject to the will of their master for all eternity."
"A slave collar for Lady Tamamo-no-mae, just as the deal she proposed."

"What? Why?"
"That's very dangerous!"

"More dangerous than letting an evil goddess roam the earth?"
"What did you expect to happen next? Leave her behind while you go back home?"
"That way it will be easier and we can do her rehabilitation"
"Don't worry, we won't judge what you do with her."
"Although I must warn you, she cannot refuse anything you tell her now."
"So be careful what you command, for she will obey you to the last consequence, even to death."

" No, calm down, I don't mind." Replaid Tamamo
"I acknowledge that my fame and past will follow me forever."
"I am aware that my limitless powers could be a problem for your life if anything happens."
"I have no problem if it means being the personal property of my beloved."
"Whatever you think is convenient, I won't complain. I place both my life and death in your hands."
"Please, allow me to belong to you."
"Take the collar and put it on me; you have my permission."
"Please let me have the pride of being your slave if it means being chained to you forever."
"You can do whatever you want to me, please be gentle."

"What? Is she crazy?"
"Are you just going to use it on yourself?"

"Mr. Cesar, this was one of the requirements that THE BOSS asked for to approve the marriage."
"It was the Moon Goddess herself who suggested it in exchange for the opportunity to marry you in the first place," Stella adds.

"Wait, what?"
"Are you saying that all of this was already part of a plan?"
"You've already planned all this?"

While I was still speaking, I could remember for a moment Momo's face when I stood up and how disappointed and sad she was. I remember how she mentioned that she already knew that Tamamo wanted to talk to me about something important. And how her true feelings had been trampled on for the sake of someone else.

But even with those thoughts in my head, I had Tamamo's face in front of me, hoping that I would put the collar that would forever fix around her neck, how she gathered her hair and showed me the back, waiting patiently. And how my inner selfishness, desperate to have someone who wouldn't abandon me because of my ugliness, wanted to have someone who couldn't reject me.

I am disgusted that I gave in to temptation and put the slave collar on the poor goddess.

"I am so happy with my loved Goshujin-sama"
"I was afraid you would say no."
"I knew deep down that you would accept me no matter what"
"You are someone amazing!"
"We will be together forever and ever!"
"I will never be apart from you," said the girl who was now my wife.

"Thank you for believing in me, Tamamo," I said, trying to sound as calm as possible while my mind was still wondering what the hell had just happened.