NOVEL SIMPLE The Best We Can Do
6/16
Elune, being quite literally a goddess and somewhat disconnected from the situation, was able to recover in record time. Processing her own capture was far more difficult for her, but not so much as to take more than five minutes.
“I see.” She touched the tempest anklet, turning it into a ring that wrapped around her finger. “Such a powerful object.” Her eyes glowed as she stared, penetrating the tempest jewel with her light.
I was still on the clock, or I’d have skull fucked her brains out now that she was mine. Luckily, the job description for my sacred prostitutes included recruitment and guidance, so I could at least be productive instead.
“So, Elune, what can you do for me?”
••••••••••
Tony was laying bricks. It wasn’t hard for him, he’d been doing it for years before joining the Defias. Of course, right now he was supposed to be new to it, but that just meant he had a much lower quota as a day laborer. His work was a lot more important right now; the Stonemason’s guild was already rumbling. He’d asked for the date, and yeah. It was pretty bad. His one and only mission clinched it.
Tony Mission
Prevent the murder of Tiffin Elerian Wrynn
Reward: One copy of Vanessa VanCleef at the height of her power.
Patron: Covert Talent Sharing
The rioting was about to start. It’d be about a week before Tiffin died in a stupid accident while trying to calm everyone down. That’d lead to a serious escalation, a crackdown, and the Stonemasons Guild getting driven out of Stormwind. Edwin VanCleef wouldn’t take that lying down, and things just kept getting worse from there. Tony tugged his sleeves down and his gloves up, wanting to be sure that he wouldn’t touch anyone by accident. He could do the math; he knew what was happening with Sally. He couldn’t ignore this, but he also needed to send her backup. He’d just have to send what he could and rely on the marriage summoning to call him up north when the time came. With any luck, he’d be able to teleport before summoning a new Vanessa; she might not be the best fighter in the retinue but she was a damn sight better than Tony was right now.
The city’s guards politely but firmly told him he wasn’t allowed into the Keep. Random seventeen year old boys didn’t really get to tour the palace even if they did seem likable. He didn’t like it, but he needed someone to introduce him to court. He couldn’t make the most of his new perk if he couldn’t get close enough to any nobles to chat them up. The kinds of snooty pricks he’d have the easiest time with didn’t even do their own shopping in town.
He didn’t know where to look, so instead he plopped his ass in a tavern chair, ordered a drink and some grub, and triggered Chains of Fate to pull someone appropriate and willing to him. He felt a tension in the air, but nothing too concrete. He tucked into his gristly sausage, and coarse bread, and cheap beer, enjoying a moment of quiet. A moment that was broken all at once as a girl flicked him in the forehead and he felt a rush of energy flow into her.
“Oi, buzz off, you’re at my… table.” She furrowed her eyebrows and cocked her head. “The… fuck?”
Ursula, heir apparent of the Noble house Deline and avowed lesbian, was certainly not expecting to find a man she found attractive when she decided to hang out in her favorite low class bar.
••••••••••
“Please, please do not pull me away.” Elune begged, “I am rooted far too deeply in far too many places for my absence to be anything but catastrophic.”
“Getting real tired of being cock blocked from having goddesses actually attend to my needs…” I grumbled, “what else can you offer?”
Tyrande’s head tilted. “You have the power to subdue anyone’s will if you come into contact with them, yes? My roots are many, but so too are my connections. I have many lovers and many companions who trust or revere me.”
“Oh, like Malorne?” I supplied, thinking of the wild stag god of the deep woods. He was the father of Cenarius, and would be a notable addition to my retinue. A bunch of boy toys like him from across the cosmos might be worth not having the Moon Goddess take the field personally. Even if he would also serve as a reminder that my newest harem member literally fucked deer enough times to have a kid with him.
“Well yes, of course, but I was actually thinking of Eonar. Perhaps my sister, later on.”
Beat. “Eonar?”
“Yes, I have been sheltering her in a world of my own design ever since Sargeras dispersed the titanic pantheon.” She offered, “She is severely weakened, but she is a Titan and currently has no active duties beyond recuperating her power. I’d need to distract her while I slipped the ring or bracelet onto her, but if I could manage it I believe she could be subdued.”
I had no idea that Elune and Eonar were banging. Given how sketchy the titans were sometimes, I was a little surprised they were even friends. Eonar was the Titan of Life, the ultimate source of Alexstrasza and Ysera’s power, and on the short list of beings that qualified as true gods in the setting.
“Yes. Yes, do that. Whatever else you need is yours. Just do that as quickly as possible.” I practically shooed away an actual deity. I guess giving people missions for the retinue was going on the job description for sacred prostitutes. It could be a multifaceted role.
I’ve seen conflicting reports about the relative power level of titans and old gods, but generally titans have seemed to be notably stronger on an individual level. The “revelation” that a huge amount of established lore was Titan propaganda muddied the waters quite a lot, but the two types of archetypical godlike immortals were at minimum comparable in power. Not to mention…
“Oh. Shit. I forgot to ask what the hell Elune even is. I’m genuinely kinda curious where she fits into everything.” I muttered to myself as I cleaned up the room and clocked out from my shift. “Ah well, I’m sure I’ll get around to it.” I sent Stevie a note to start investigating “goddess” hybrids, whatever the hell that ended up meaning.
••••••••••
The elderly lord Augustus Deline set his jaw when the leader of his house guard entered the office. As was expected of all members of the Deline household staff, he was immaculately dressed in red and black livery. As befit his station, he was also clad in shining steel.
“Lord Deline,” he bowed his head deferentially, “Lady Ursula snuck out into the streets again. This time she has brought a young man back with her.”
“A man?” Augustus raised an eyebrow. Sometimes his daughter would bring young women to tour the house, but this was unusual. Ursula seemed averse to the company of men, rough or gentle.
“Yes. She wanted to introduce him to you for some reason.”
“His name and house?” Augustus frowned. He’d hear her out, but if she was simply trying to annoy him again he would need to discipline the girl.
“Anthony Bigglesworth, apparently.”
“A commoner’s name.” Augustus sighed. “Very well, bring them in.”
The young Lady Deline flounced in wearing one of the peasant dresses she preferred to wear while wandering the streets. He knew for a fact at least half of the ones she came home wearing were snatched off of clothes lines and paid for in silver meant to fund her independent studies.
Trailing behind her was a stout young man that towered over her. He had a certain guileless charm to the way he gawked at the room, but walked with a fluid grace. Augustus immediately assumed young Anthony to be trained with at least one weapon, and likely multiple. Either that or he was a dancer; in any event his parents had clearly paid for good tutors.
“Father, I need to talk to you.”
“Obviously.”
The girl rolled her eyes insolently. “I just met this man in town. He’s from Lordaeron, or at least lately from Lordaeron.”
“Oh is he?” Augustus asked skeptically, “What part?” The man seemed like a local to Stormwind from his manners and dress.
“Southshore.” He supplied promptly with a faint Lordaeronian peasan accent. “I was hoping to ask for help on behalf of my home, but it seems that Stormwind has problems of its own.”
“Indeed we do,” Augustus confirmed warily, “what manner of aid do you desire?”
“Military, sir.” He explained, “We’ve got a plague up north, orcs from the east, and bandits out of Alterac. I was hoping the Alliance could still rustle up some boys to help. If you can’t send anyone back, maybe you could introduce me to anyone who might?”
Ursula jumped in as Augustus opened his mouth, intending to apologize and send the lad away. “I’d like to go. It seems like something worth doing.”
That changed much. His daughter had been trained since her childhood in swordplay, tactics, and basic magecraft. She’d chosen to specialize in fire, almost certainly because it was out of vogue in Dalaran. She was capable, and she was for some reason taking this seriously. Augustus steepled his fingers in front of him. His daughter was fidgeting, glancing at the young man nervously. Could it be… finally? Had she found a man that met her standards?
Nobles of Stormwind typically married young, somewhere between fifteen and twenty. Ursula was nineteen, and rumors were starting to form. Augustus wasn’t blind; he knew Ursula enjoyed the female form, but that didn’t remove the need for her to carry on the bloodline. Her mother had died long ago, and her brother fell during the Second War. If she’d found a man she liked, even a commoner…
“Very well. I will charter a ship.” The lord turned to the captain of his guard. “Pick six good men to go. With any luck this young man will manage to sway a few more hearts before the ship is ready, but that’s all we can spare either way, yes?”
“Agreed, sir.”
“Very good.” He turned back to Anthony. “You can make the trip in six days. How long do you wish to stay here making appeals?”
“Uh.” He wisely considered his answer, worry painted all over his face, “I guess eight days, then. That should hopefully line everything up alright.”
••••••••••
Elune revealing her connection to Eonar had jogged something in my memory: I had a capture ticket. A fairly powerful one, allowing me to instantly snatch any of the Windrunner sisters. I toyed with the idea of capturing Vereesa in Onyxia or the happy couple’s worlds to give them an extra leg up; Dalaran was pretty close to both, and having even the least badass of the Windrunner sisters as backup would be huge if she could convince her archmage hubby and various high powered friends to come along.
I decided not to. I had faith in those three, and the whole point of the isekais was for them to manage things solo. Sally would absolutely be able to save her parents, at least. Instead I turned my eyes to the stars. Alleria Windrunner, oldest of the three, was a high ranked member of a spacefaring faction known as the Army of the Light. I’ll be level with you: I have no idea how that happened. Time travel and Outland blowing up were somehow involved.
What I did know was that the Army of the Light was probably the strongest faction acting in direct opposition to the Burning Legion, that they literally had working fleets of space ships, and that they had a method of empowering their troops known as Lightforging. Lightforging made their troops immortal by infusing them with the Light, which had many effects including causing female draenei to become marginally hotter. I wasn’t sure if it would be relevant in my immediate future, but I definitely wanted the Army of the Light on my side when I went up against Sargeras.
••••••••••
Sally ran off from her home, letting her vines strengthen her legs under her skirts. She ran like the wind, making a beeline towards a specific woman. Morrigan, known as the Black Bride and commander of the Undercity’s Defilers in the future that Sally hailed from, was a knight of Lorderon. An elite soldier, staying in Southshore for her wedding. She was caught off guard, unarmed and overwhelmed, when the Scourge struck at her wedding first and slaughtered everyone.
She had risen and rejected the Lich King, but been driven off by her neighbors regardless. Sally regretted that waste now, and would not repeat it. She needed a soldier to train her, and she needed a commander for Southshore to rally around. That meant that she-
She ran headlong into James Vishas, her friend since she was small. She fully intended to capture him, but not like this. Not right now. Not with her one free capture. The fourteen year old boy stared at her with confusion; his feelings weren’t changed drastically compared to most, but he could still sense something had changed.
“Damn it. Alright, Jimmy. Congratulations. You just signed up for a lot of work.”
“Wha? Sally, what are you talking about?”
“Have you seen Renault?” She snapped at him. She was going to have to break up with her boyfriend, she didn’t have the slightest interest in dating someone mentally half her age, but he’d been trained by his father, the Ashbringer, with the blade. More importantly, she was pretty sure it would be trivial to get a love confession out of him first. A shame that the Ashbringer was already far to the north.
••••••••••
Time to start paying up.
https://strawpoll.com/LVyK8KpBkn0
Don’t think we have enough credits? We have options…