Xiu Erdai's daily essays

0252_false identity

The monks often need to live in the mortal world for a period of time, maybe because of missions like me, maybe just want to live in a different environment for a while, or maybe they have evil intentions and so on.No matter what the reason is, anyway, when you arrive in the mortal world, you have to follow the rules of the mortal world, such as various documents, various numbers, various certificates... It is very cumbersome.

If the monks were to handle these by themselves, the one-year task hadn't started yet, and more than half of the time would have passed, and it was likely to be full of loopholes due to unfamiliarity.

Therefore, the high-level executives of the cultivation world have an agreement with the mortal world. The mortal world provides some fake identities, and monks who need them can use them directly. If necessary, a monk can take multiple fake identities to use.But the prerequisite for using these identities is that the monk must provide his true identity to the mortal world for registration.

That is, which monk corresponds to which fake identity, although most mortals don't know, but the high-level officials in the mortal world and the law enforcement agencies responsible for monk incidents all have real-time updates and records.If the monk does something bad, the mortal world will notify the comprehension world, and then implement it to the cultivator's sect - the casual cultivator is the casual cultivator alliance, because the casual cultivator wants to obtain the false identity made by the mortal world from the casual cultivator. The league took it - and then began specific penalties.

The above are the official official channels. If you don’t take this route and have to toss yourself, it’s okay, but it’s considered a smuggling. identity, then the official will not cover up, but will directly call out his identity.As for whether this kind of breaking will bring trouble to this monk, anyway, it's none of the business of mortals, isn't it?

Will monks find trouble with mortals because their status is broken?According to the agreement between the cultivation world and the mortal world, the cultivation world is obliged to protect mortals in this situation. Once stowaways are found, it will be dealt with as an urgent task, and the stowaway monks will be arrested back to the cultivation world as soon as possible.

0253_ False identity with disguise

Of course, I obtained a false identity officially recognized by the mortal world through Yunxiazong.Moreover, my false identity was established shortly after I was born. It can be said that it is an identity with a complete resume that grew up with me.

Except for the hidden registration that ordinary people can't find, the fake identity I use is absolutely flawless enough to be fake.

And this fake identity also comes with multiple camouflage versions.

The original version of this fake identity was set as a rich second-generation male, who was homeschooled due to frailty and sickness, but his test scores were complete from elementary school to high school graduation. In addition, he also studied makeup, how ordinary people deal with monks, Informatics and other courses, other subjects can continue to be added as needed.

Then he pretended that his frailty and sickness were an illusion, but he had actually received dark training. As an adult, he was vigorous and strong in fighting ability, with a weak sense of right and wrong.

Then pretend two, the gender male is an illusion, but actually a female, but in order to win the right to speak in a family with a patriarchal concept, she pretended to be a male since she was a child.

Afterwards, I pretended to be three, and self-study at home was an illusion. In fact, in order to avoid disasters caused by family struggles, I changed my name and changed my surname to go to school in other places until graduation.This camouflage contains both male and female genders.

I don't know how Yunxiazong communicated with the mortal world back then. My false identity is unpredictable in terms of gender. It doesn't matter if I want to be a man or a woman. It's almost ten years ago that I decided to pretend to be a woman.

The above original version plus all the camouflaged versions have official identity certificates, but in order to show a sense of hierarchy, the original version of the identity certificate is the most perfect-basically equivalent to a legal real citizen of the mortal world-the camouflaged versions Each left a little loophole in case someone wants to check my situation.

I used Disguise [-] this time. If there is a master in the mortal world who checks carefully, at most he can find out the original version of my fake identity of a rich second-generation sick and weak man, and then that master will be confused, because obviously, I am not at all. Not sick.Of course, it is possible to recover from being sick, so my male identity will be revealed by then.

But in a small city like Jijia Village, with my appearance as a brat who ran away from home, no one should try so hard to investigate me within a year?Although I appear to be very rich, the rich second generation is really not a rare group. Among the local residents of Jijia Village, there are several teenagers and girls who spend more money than me. It's so flamboyant, it's not like I really don't want to clear the mission.I'm just trying to make myself as comfortable as possible without compromising the mission.

0254_Rich Second Generation Girl

There is a problem with my false identity in the mortal world that I set up since I was a child, that is, after I build my foundation, the growth rate of my physical age will be far behind the actual years. When I am 30 or [-], my My appearance is still fifteen or sixteen, and my false identity, which has grown at the speed of the mortal world, will not match my appearance.

But it doesn't matter, fake identities are also experienced in this area.Because the false identities set for monks are all reclusive and rare, so when the age and appearance do not match, the false identity will be slightly changed, such as changing from uncle to nephew, mother to daughter, anyway in the relationship That's it.Even after hundreds of years, you can still change to the identity of great-great...great-grandson, but the overall identity setting can still be used. It doesn't matter if they are very similar. It is normal for a family to have similar resumes.

My current character is a rich second-generation girl who ran away from home. In order to avoid being followed by my family, my previous cards have been deactivated, and the new cards and numbers are still being processed step by step. It is a little inconvenient in my life.Fortunately, the news spread quickly in a small city, and everyone knows what happened to me, so when I pay with cash or take Lingzhu, I don’t leave my communication number, I don’t fill in my identity information, etc. Everyone agrees that I can understand it, and at most I can say a few words :

"It's fine to lose your temper, and go home quickly when your anger subsides."

I responded: "I didn't lose my temper, and I will go back in a year at most."

Most people will sigh when they hear this: young people nowadays are really ignorant.

This pet store also seems to know me. After hearing that I claimed to be taken advantage of, I didn't doubt my spending power at all. When it came up, it first introduced me to a cat food bowl inlaid with various gemstones.

Pretty, but too shiny.

I poked the fur ball and asked, "Do you like it?"

The fur balls were clumped even tighter, and their front paws rested on their eyes, pretending not to hear.

I took it by the back of the neck and put it into the food bowl, let it appreciate it carefully.

The hairball was still sleepy and didn't respond, the clerk first smiled dryly: "It seems a bit too big..."

Well, you just realized that it is enough for pawn nests.I pretended to be polite and took the blame: "It's too small."

0255_Taste

The clerk immediately said that there is an extra small size, and they are already in contact, and they will be delivered soon without delay.

Oh, the efficiency is good, but, did I say to buy this?I looked at the fur ball, and the fur ball scratched a gem twice with its paws, drawing two cracks—thanks it was scratched with the tip of one claw.

I looked at the two cracks silently until the clerk also saw the cracks, and then I was shocked: "Why? Is there a quality problem?"

According to the instructions, the gemstones on the food bowl have been strengthened, no matter whether the cat scratches, bites or drops it, it will not be able to break the protective film covering it... If the cat is a mortal beast.

I carried the cat in the foundation period back into my arms, and watched as if nothing had happened, as a clerk rushed towards the back of the store with the food bowl in his arms. ...

I scratched my hairball, wondering if I should offer to offer compensation.As an image of being taken advantage of, it seems that it doesn't matter if you say it?

Before I could think it through, another clerk walked up to me and started recommending cat food.

She said: "This cat food is specially designed for young cats. Look at the granules, which are very convenient for young cats to chew. It has balanced nutrition, has the effect of improving eyesight and shiny coat, and can promote the strengthening of bones and teeth of young cats. The taste is also good. Great, a mouth that most kittens really like..."

She stared at me dumbfounded as I took one and put it in my mouth, chewed and swallowed.

It tastes okay, crunchy, a little fragrant, light, slightly fishy but not heavy.

So why are you surprised?As mammals, if a cat eats something beneficial to a human, it is at least harmless to a human—of course, the reverse is not possible. The human stomach has been tempered for thousands of years, and it dares to stuff it into it whether it is poisonous or not. Human diets are generally unbearable for animals.

And as far as I know, there are very few cat owners who don't taste the rations for the cat owner?As a clerk in a pet store, my sister, you are too new to react. Is it your first day at work today?

0256_Implementation of being taken advantage of

I picked up another one and stuffed it into my mouth, probably because I had never eaten cat food before, and it said it could be eaten as a snack. It jumped from my arms to the tasting bowl by itself, took another one and continued to eat.

I said to the new clerk: "I want a pack of this, do you have any snacks?"

Clerk: "Yes, of course."

Me: "Give me a taste of every kind, staple food and snacks." All right, don't stare at me, what I said is give 'me' a taste, except that hairballs don't like heavy spicy food. I don't like it too fishy, ​​and the taste difference between me and it is not very big.

When Ji's mother was worried about me, she came to the pet store to look for me less than 10 minutes after she got home and put down the food. She saw a bunch of samples in front of me. My cat and I were one by one. Taste, one for me, one for him, one for him, one for me... Let the clerk write down a pack of any grains that we both agree on.

At this time, the previous new clerk had been replaced because he made too much fuss and easily upset the customer—that is, me.

The lady didn't give a lot of introductions or ask any questions. When I asked what was needed, she immediately implemented it. When I tasted and observed, she stood quietly by the side without disturbing anything.Well, I like this kind of service better, just for this considerate service, I will be willing to be taken advantage of this time.

So I said to the lady: "The food bowl just now is the one that was scratched by my cat twice. I want it."

The lady was taken aback, and replied: "That one has quality problems, we will replace it with the same model for you. But because its price is too high, we only put one in the store, and it will take some time to pick it up. The kitten model is already in It’s on its way here, it’ll be there soon, I’ll notify you to give me another one of the size just now…”

Me: "No, I want the one with only scratches. As long as it is, I will buy it at the original price. If it is changed, I don't want it. Oh, I also want the kitten that was sent."

The lady quickly calmed down and said that there was no problem, and she would do as I said, except for the price.She said: "We must not sell defective products to customers at the original price. Even if we want to be greedy, the price bureau will not tolerate it. We are a regular store. However, it is true that the quality inspection and re-evaluation will take some time and delay your business. Son. In this way, we will sell it to you at the purchase price, and at the same time send our simple test results and videos to the manufacturer for verification. If..."

Me: "I don't care about spending more money, but I don't want to be disturbed for this little money. I hope that after I buy this food bowl, there will be no follow-up related to it, no matter whether it is compensation or re-testing. .clear?"

Ms.: "Understood. The customer's comfort is the first priority, we will not disturb you, but at least please allow us, if we get compensation, we can come to your door and hand over the compensation to you, and the whole process will not take more than 1 minute .Or you can notify us after you have opened a new account..."

Me: "I don't want to. Don't say for a minute, don't bother me for a second, let alone expect me to contact you for this matter. Otherwise, I have to change to a pet supply store."

The lady saw that she couldn't convince me, and she didn't have principles strong enough to be willing to kick me out, so she could only promise that I would never let the follow-up questions disturb me at all, and then quickly walked to the side to make an announcement—the one just now was Food bowls with quality problems may have already been sent for quality inspection, and people have to turn around and send them back quickly.