Denial is the Way

Month Four (1)



When they arrived at the house, Ender walked in, quickly going on the couch as he lay down. It was still early in the morning, but he was tired. 

 

Nevan walked in, closing the door behind him as he entered the living room. He grabbed Ender's bag. "I am going to bring the bags to the rooms." 

 

Ender nodded in response as he held onto the stuffed giraffe that his brother bought him. He closed his eyes, resting them. Ender did not sleep due to still having to talk to Nevan. 

 

He decided to heed his mother's words and talk with Nevan about the babies. He did not feel like he was a harsh person (but Ender did feel guilty) by lying and not telling Nevan that he is the father. But, after listening to his mother, he felt like he was. 

 

However, Ender could not help his anxiety reaching high levels. Holding onto the stuffed animal kept him from freaking out and possibly passing out on the spot. 

 

He did not know if this conversation would take a terrible turn. Ender could hope that everything will go well. 

 

Nevan came back in, sitting on the same couch as Ender, putting the man's legs in his lap. "Are you tired?" 

 

"Yeah," Ender answered, opening his eyes as he looked at Nevan. The man had no expression on his face. 

 

"You should sleep first. We can talk later." Nevan quickly responded. He feared that Ender was going to ask him to leave for good. 

 

Ender shook his head, "No. We need to talk now because if not, then I will try ways never to try again." 

 

Nevan sighed, hating the dread that filled him. 

 

Squeezing the stuffed giraffe harder, Ender wondered how he should start the conversation. Should he go slow or tear the bandage off in one go? 

 

"Nevan, I haven't been truthful with you, and I know it was wrong of me, but I was scared of losing you. I am still afraid of losing you. Don't tell the others I said this, but you have been more important to me than everyone else except my family since day one. 

 

"So, please understand that I went with this decision to keep you on my side," Ender explained but still not getting to the point. 

 

Nevan felt his heart beating as he softly touched Ender's legs on him, "You are dragging your explanations again, En." He felt the need to joke so that the tense atmosphere could lessen. 

 

Ender chuckled, knowing that he was. He finally decided to get to the point, "I know that you know that you are the father to my babies." 

 

Nevan sucked in his breath, "I do. I figured it out. But I was not going to say anything because you already put it out there that the father disappeared. I thought you didn't remember about that night, or you didn't want me to be the father." 

 

"I never wanted to get pregnant. Shit, I never wanted to be one of the males that could get pregnant. But I would rather get pregnant by you than anyone else." 

 

Nevan's eyes softened as he looked at Ender. Both their eyes met as they stared at each other. "Do you want me to stay?" Nevan asked. 

 

"Do you want to stay?" Ender threw the question back at Nevan. 

 

"More than anything. I want to raise our children with you. Plus, I would be dumb not to, especially after intertwining myself with your family." 

 

Ender laughed, feeling better, "Is that why you wanted to see my family? Trying to be a good son and brother-in-law?" He could not help but tease the man. 

 

Nevan blushed, slapping Ender's leg, "Shut up. You are lucky that you are pregnant, or I would throw you to the ground." 

 

"That is abuse, Nevan. I'm going to tell my siblings what you said." 

 

Nevan looked like someone took his soul from him as he turned pale with fright. "You better not. I want to say Kay and Liam scare me the most. But your father pulled me aside and had some colorful things to say." 

 

Ender used the stuffed animal to muffle his laugh before pulling it back down. "I told you my father is the scariest." 

 

"I see that." 

 

It was silent for a second as they both calmed down. There were still words left unsaid, but they were already at a good start, so Ender and Nevan pushed their feelings down. 

 

The time will come when they will air everything out. 

 

For now, Ender asked, "Would you like to touch my stomach?" 

 

Nevan controlled the emotions building in him as he nodded his head. Ender freed one of his hands, pulling up his shirt, revealing his small bump. 

 

Nevan slowly put his hand on his stomach, his fingers trembling as he rubbed the small bump. He could not help the soft smile gracing his face. 

 

Ender watched the happiness on Nevan's face while feeling tired from the rubbing. It felt right to him. 

 


As they enter the fourth month of Ender's pregnancy, the weather is getting colder and colder. Next week, snow is going to start falling. 

 

Ender looked out the window, snuggled in a thick cover as he drank warm milk. He did not hate the cold, but at the same time, he did not want to go outside during the winter weather. 

 

Sighing, Ender knew he would have to go outside sooner rather than later because he had a doctor's appointment today. He has to see the doctor earlier than scheduled because he is having multiple babies. 

 

"Ender," Nevan called, "are you ready to go?" 

 

Nevan entered Ender's room, only to see that the man was glancing out the window with a thick blanket wrapped around him. 

 

Ender gulped down his drink, setting the cup on the nightstand as he faced Nevan. "Do we have to go? Can we reschedule?" He begged and possibly whined. 

 

Nevan walked over, grabbing the blanket and taking it off of Ender. Ender had on an oversized sweater and joggers that looked tight. 

 

"Yes, we do. We need to make sure the babies are developing well. And we need to start shopping for maternity clothes." 

 

Ender sighed, looking at his bed with longing eyes. "Fine, I guess we can go." 

 

Nevan looked at Ender's clothes once more, "Do you want to take a jacket with you? It is cold outside." 

 

"Can I take a blanket?" 

 

"Sure." 

 

Ender internally cheered at that as he went into his closet and pulled out another blanket. He wrapped it around himself before looking back at Nevan, "Okay, now I'm ready to leave." 

 

Nevan smiled, holding back his laughter. Ender could be so adorable at times. Well, the man is cute all the time. 

 

Nevan hummed as they walked out of Ender's room. They put on their shoes, making their way out of the house as they drove to the doctors. 

 

Ender made himself comfortable, taking a small nap for the whole ride. 

 



Yan

 

Yan sat at the university's coffee shop. He had on a black trench coat that looked expensive. Under the trench coat, he wore a black turtleneck and checkerboard slacks. 

 

His hair was in a high ponytail as his strands moved down his cheek when he bent down to drink his coffee. 

 

Even his eyes closed a bit as the light hit him, showing off the delicate features of his face. 

 

The students inside watched him, and since he sat near the windows, the people outside watched him too. 

 

Yan had grown used to people watching him that he ignored the stares and only paid attention to the coffee he drank. He had a class to teach in an hour anyway, and this would be his only quiet time before going home. 

 

After taking another sip, Yan looked up and felt his heart-stopping when he saw someone he believed he would never see again: Kori. 

 

Kori slowly walked by the shop as his eyes were on his phone. He did not look up once. 

 

Yan tried to look away when he realized that he was staring, but his stomach started to feel weird when the man suddenly changed his direction. 

 

He was coming towards the shop. 

 

Glancing down, Yan looked at his coffee, trying to seem busy. Kori entered the shop, walking towards Yan. 

 

"Hey," Kori greeted. 

 

Yan looked up at the man, "Hi." He did not know what to say, so he went with, "I noticed you changed directions. Were you originally coming here and got lost?" 

 

"No, I noticed your glance and came here," Kori responded. He took a seat as he used one hand to rest his head on and the other to keep typing. 

 

"How did you notice me staring if you are looking at your phone?" Yan confusedly asked. 

 

"Instinct." 

 

Yan hummed, his fingers tapping on his cup. He glanced at Kori, wondering if the man attends the school. He has never seen him before, but this is a big school, so he cannot see everyone. 

 

Furthermore, he hoped Kori did not go here because Yan swore to never date a student from this school since he is a professor here. 

 

"Do you go here?" Yan asked. 

 

Kori shook his head, "No, I am returning a flash drive to a girl who goes here. She left it at my place." 

 

Yan deflated, feeling stupid for thinking that someone as attractive as Kori would be single. "Your girlfriend then?" 

 

Kori's fingers stopped moving as he glanced at Yan, "You ask a lot of questions, don't you?" 

 

Yan bit his cheek to keep from blushing, "Yes, it is a habit. I can stop if you want." 

 

Kori hummed before looking back at his phone, "It is fine." 

 

Once again, the silence filled the area when Yan realized Kori did not answer his question. 

 

"You didn't answer my question." 

 

"She is not my girlfriend. That would be a problem, seeing as I took the girl's best friend on vacation with me."

 

"Oh, so you are a player?" 

 

Kori looked up again, this time setting his phone down, which is something he rarely did. "Everyone, including my friends, believes me to be a player. I won't refute it, but taking someone on vacation doesn't automatically make me a player." 

 

Yan thought for a second before saying, "Well, most people who take others that are not truly friends or family on vacation do it to get some." 

 

"So, if I took you out, does that mean I am going to fuck you?" 

 

"Uh....no."

 

Kori smirked, "Exactly." 

 

Yan squeezed his eyebrows together, not understanding what happened. Then Kori said something else that threw him for a loop. 

 

"So, is it okay to take you out?" 

 

"What?" Yan was confused. 

 

Kori stood up, pulling the napkin that Yan had. He took out a pen, writing a number on the napkin before handing it back to Yan. "Call or text me; it doesn't matter. I am always on my phone anyway. See you soon." 

 

Kori walked off, not waiting for Yan to say anything. 

 

Yan felt confused and giddy as he stared at the number looking back at him. He did not know what happened, but he ended up with the man's number and a possible date. So, he guesses that is a win. 

 

Yan took the napkin, pocketing it as he stood up to make his way towards his class. The long cold walk can help clear his mind. 


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